And you misunderstand mine! The "fucks/thank you and goodbye" refer to the time you next meet up.
Well, you have made a pretty good job of trashing the advice/reactions you have received! Still, troll or no, it has made for a good read.
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And you misunderstand mine! The "fucks/thank you and goodbye" refer to the time you next meet up.
Well, you have made a pretty good job of trashing the advice/reactions you have received! Still, troll or no, it has made for a good read.
I responded to:
If you had read the first post correctly, you'd have realised that it is the OP who is confusing fuck with love!
I am not confusing a single fuck with love, the feelings developed AFTER that fuck.
I am not trashing anything here, just trying to clarify stuff that has been mentioned.
Glad to hear it did made a good read, after all isn't that what forums are for :D
OP = "Opening Post", which would be you.
Ohhhh! So now your excuse has changed from "I'm only human" to "I didn't love him when we fucked, the love developed after". Ok, good to go then I guess. I hope their lovers like Dodger said, and you get taken to the cleaners.
What an idiot.
Hmm calling me an idiot isn't a very nice thing to do. Understanding someone's posts seems to be a problem. To observant readers it would become apparent that the line you quoted first was in fact a quote from another user.
Hint: I responded to: kind of gives it away. Maybe next time I will use the quote function again, so that people like you don't get confused...
As to my excuse, I am not making any excuses, I am just pointing out that love for him did develop later. The only excuse I did make was that at the time of the fuck I was drunk.
What happened after I am not trying to find any excuses for, it is what it is.
I do find it highly amusing how some people on here are holier than thou, and that on a site that centers around the sex for hire scene. With threads about MB prices, and off prices.
I hope you don't mind me finding that a tad hypocritical.
Then tell your existing BF of 12 years that it's over.
Are you really planning to string your BF along in some sort of quasi-relationship, while you chase after his friend? If you do that, what a complete piece of shit you are.
I have no intention of dumping my boyfriend of 12 years.
I don't know what I am going to do with the other bloke, that's going to have to happen when I'm back in Thailand.
The other bloke seems to believe that this can continue for some time, or to say it in his own words: "I want you love me and love your boyfriend big".
I personally doubt we could continue this without consequences. Even if my boyfriend believes nothing is going on, I'm not sure I could continue the charade and bullshit.
Let's just say I am going to have to handle this fairly quickly. He also goes with us to the beach for a few days, so I might have to do it before that.
It's SE Asia, and you have white skin (I'm assuming). It's not difficult to find people willing to say, "I will love you long time".
Whatever. If what you posted is actually the truth, then you already know what you're going to do, and if you want my personal opinion, you're an asshole for doing it.
Yes, many people have a "mia noi" (little wife) here, but no, they're not generally good friends. That type of activity is kept very discreet.
I am well aware of the love bollocks. Surprisingly you seem to already know what I'm going to do, even though I am not sure myself.
If you are referring to having sex with the other bloke no matter what, yep that will probably happen at least once.
If I'm an asshole for doing that, fine.
Whether or not I let this continue, that's something I haven't decided yet.
You've already said many times exactly what you're going to do. You're going to go cheat on your BF, fuck the other guy, then try to somehow legitmize it as "I'm only human" or "the love only started AFTER I fucked him", or whatever excuse you can come up with.
No that's not what I am planning to do.
Where is the love?
Love is. Being faithful.
Love is. Nourishing your relatuonship.
Love is. Building trust.
Love is. Honesty.
Love is. Putting them first.
Love is. Not sucking the dick of the friend of the one you love and secretly growing and nurturing your secret sexual affair.
Too much love can be intoxicating.
Where is the fun?
You love him but you want to fuck his best friend.
You love him but you want to sneak behind his back see his best friend.
You love him but you are growing your feelings for his best friend.
Okay.... your boyfriend is lucky to have a guy like you in his life. What more could he ever want or deserve?
Yes point taken.
Hypocritical? Oh dear! Where did that little non sequitur come from?
Sure a fair number of posters here and the other gay thailand sites are happy in the gay for pay business. What they are not into is the business of even thinking of getting close to and wanting/planning to again fuck the best friend of the guy who's been their boyfriend and partner for 12 years!
Ok, then do this. Ask your BF, "do I mind if I fuck your best friend?". If he's cool with it, then go right ahead. If not, then stay away.
I already know the answer to that question. He made that abundantly clear.
You have made me realize that this cannot continue, so I will deal with it once I'm back in bkk.
I leave in the middle if I still have a go at him first.
I must admit this has been one of the most provocative post in a long time.
Although the possibility exists that the OP is nothing but a troll having some fun.After all he has shielded his identity by claiming he is a regular poster but does't want to be known.
I am not a troll, however a simple google search for my other user name (one which I use everywhere) would easily provide a result.
Not that I posted often on here, but I just want to be prudent. Of course an admin on this site can easily see which user I really am, as posting this from the same IP address..
Personally I am a bit surprised at some of the reactions over here. I was expecting more reactions like the one from latin.
Seems being monogamous is a virtue in the gay community nowadays. You learn something new every day I guess.
What? Nobody here has a problem with hookers.
matt i do think you have a great way of saying things and you are spoy on
I for one appreciate the fact that justaguy has been as open and honest as he has in this thread, and don't agree with the concept that to cheat is not to love.
I've only loved one guy since coming out 15 years ago and I cheated on him...got caught...he was hurt...I lost face...we mended and continued on. He cheated on me...got caught...I was hurt...he lost face...we mended and continued on. Does the fact that we both cheated on each other and got caught mean the love we had for each other was not real? Absoluterly not. It meant that we were not perfect, fell to temptation and used poor judgement. If it wasn't for the love we had for each other the relationship would have been un-mendable and would never have survived.
I don't think justaguy is a troll at all...just a guy who's sharing his honest feelings. What surprises me is how many people think that crucifying him for his honesty somehow erases the reality of their own inperfections.
Thanks dodger. Not only for stating I am not a troll, but also for pointing out that cheating does not automatically mean I would have no love for my real boyfriend, which is definitely not the case.
Having said that, I do realize that what I am currently doing isn't the hallmark of the perfect boyfriend/partner.
Somehow I do have to deal with that. My honest problem is that I do actually care about two people at the same time at this very moment.
There is no question in my mind that I would dump my real boyfriend, but I somehow need to deal with my feelings for the other guy.
If he wasn't the sweet guy that he is, this would indeed have stopped at the drunken encounter back in November.
Fact is, it hasn't, and that's something I do have to deal with. The other bloke seems to believe that this 'arrangement' is a sustainable affair, but I don't think it is.
So I certainly have some work to do on my next holiday, which is in 10 days.
One option that I don't think has been mentioned: cancel or postpone your trip to Thailand. Let a little time intervene to see if the new passion diminishes.
That's out od the question. Not only because I really need a vacation, but we also have appointments with people in Buriram, Khon Kaen and back home in Laos.
At the end of the day, I just need to control whatever I feel for the guy.
I'm completely aghast at the "straight moralistic" propaganda being broadcast on this board. What is this, the soviet unions polit bureau celebrating a successful 5 year agricultural plan while people are starving in red square. ALL of my friends (oh ok...acquaintances) fuck around non-stop. Its almost impossible for two men (yes gays are men too) in a relationship to remain monogamous.....goes against nature...just not right..
Perfectly fair point. In my first post I pointed out that my friends who have been in long term relationships almost inevitably stray sexually after 5 years or so. Provided they are open about it, the relationships have stood the test of a very long time.
What you and some other posters seem to forget is what I believe to be the key to the question posed by the OP. The second boy in question is not only the best friend of his partner of 12 years - his partner not only knows about it, he is "angry" and he is against it! Knowing that, would you further anger your bf by seeing his best friend again with sex involved? Would you take that risk? Somehow I doubt it.
If it was just another guy and just a bit of sex, I certainly would not be writing in this thread. It is the tangled relationship between the 3 and your seeming indifference to the continuing effect on your long-term bf that makes it different. But, hey, it's your life and it's clear you'll do what you want irrespective of any advice/comments made here. And you're clearly happy to live with the consequences. So, apart from giving us all a bit of fun, I fail to understand why you raised the issue in the first place! :D
My point exactly. He's a troll ... making up pure nonsense, then sitting back in the 'puter chair laughing at the nonsense, then writing a plethora of nonsense replies to encourage more nonsense.Quote:
' ... So, apart from giving us all a bit of fun, I fail to understand why you raised the issue in the first place! ... '
The point you make about him 'doing no harm' is quite valid, but it's a quite different question ... i.e. the big-picture as to whether trolls be ripped bodily from the board.
I agree that the discourse on this thread has been interesting, sometimes funny, sometimes heated. So I have no problem with replying [i.e. the 'don't feed the trolls' brigade who DO have a problem], just that we should identify a spade as a spade, then just carry on [with the nonsense ;) ].
So wrong, most posters here have made it clear that they have a problem with the fact that you are playing with feelings and emotions, just to satisfy your dicks needs.
Most posters here and most gays have no problems with third party sex, but it should just be sex.
Besides that, there are a few times you say different things, almost a 180 turn, depending on the post you respond to, or you are just so fucked up at the moment that you change you point of view during the short moments of clarity.