Well, there you go again...
Cusp: a point of transition (as from one astrological sign to another or one historical period to the next) : TURNING POINT; also : EDGE, VERGE <on the cusp of stardom>. The definition from Websters online dictionary. Another great American invention!
This is the best thread we've had in a long time.
I don't know how I came to this understanding or from whom but it was surly from my Thai experiences.
The act of giving a gift is primarily for the gratification of the giver. The joy of giving should be reward enough. I believe this to such an extent that I have, at times, said, "Thank you" to the recipient for accepting my gift. As someone mentioned, it's the gasp, the shy smile, the rush to a private space to open the wraping, etc, etc that is important to me.
Keeping up with the Jones'
I think itтАЩs fair to say that we westerners waste a great deal of our time worrying about what other people think of us.
I don't see that a lot with Thais and this especially applies when they are motorists or pedestrians.
They just don't seem to be as aware of their surroundings and/or concerned about other people, motorists or pedestrians.
If a Thai motorist hasn't decided which lane he / she would like, quite often they will straddle two just to block you from getting beside them. When in bumper-to-bumper traffic, they'll squeeze right up to the guy in front of them just to block access to someone trying merge in. I walked through an empty parking lot behind Hollywood Disco and had someone coming the other way walk right into me.
When it comes to saving face, many learn the hard way that the Thai face is quite fragile. To call someone a liar or a thief will push and relationship instantly beyond salvageable. To question anyone's family or upbringing is surely flirting with disaster. Loosing your temper accomplishes absolutely nothing and quite honestly makes you look foolish.
There are many things about Thai culture that we aren't going to learn right away and many of us will never know all the complexities. ItтАЩs always best to sit on your hands, try to absorb as much as possible about what is going on and then ask questions about it later. Reacting won't solve this misunderstanding, nor will it prevent the next from happening again.
Surfcrest
Re: Keeping up with the Jones'
Quote:
Originally Posted by Surfcrest
When it comes to saving face, many learn the hard way that the Thai face is quite fragile. To call someone a liar or a thief will push and relationship instantly beyond salvageable. To question anyone's family or upbringing is surely flirting with disaster. Loosing your temper accomplishes absolutely nothing and quite honestly makes you look foolish.
There are many things about Thai culture that we aren't going to learn right away and many of us will never know all the complexities. ItтАЩs always best to sit on your hands, try to absorb as much as possible about what is going on and then ask questions about it later. Reacting won't solve this misunderstanding, nor will it prevent the next from happening again.
Surfcrest
Though I understand where you are coming from, I don't necessarily agree with the above statements. From a visitor's point of view, there may be validity to your thoughts -- but for those of us who live here and are involved in a long-term, living situation with a Thai, it is quite the opposite. There have, for example, been occasions where I have had to confront my husband on certain matters face-to-face (in private of course) - even though I knew it would cause him to "lose face" to me because he was wrong. Remember, we are in an equal partnership here -- and as important as it is for me to respect his Thai ways -- he must also respect my American ways. In some cases, this means we do it the Thai way, and in other cases not. If you are speaking purely about public situations or relations in the day-to-day world -- then you are right: we are in Thailand, we must conform to Thai values when at all possible. However, in our home, between the two of us -- there HAS to be a blend.
Secondly, I refuse to "sit on my hands" in any personal relationship I have -- whether it be a Thai, South American, African or whatever. After all, my feelings are important too, and to discount them or suppress them would in fact be supporting a one-sided relationship. There must be give and take in every intimate relationship -- there must be appreciation for both sides FROM both sides. Again, in public situations it is a horse of a different color, and Thai society dictates appropriate behavior in these instances.
Fondly,
Chris
PS -- Smiles, we will have to get together for a drink sometime and discuss our common relationship experiences. No doubt we share many other commonalities between our mates!
www.niddysnook.com
** Come and Try our Fish & Chips! **
Sydney, boygeorge and ...
Quote:
Miss sybil Thorp
Why are you so negative in your writing, you whole article is full with venom.
Some people love to harm your "hurt", Arie. This is the wold on SF. But also a lot off people go understand !
I hope you get over this sad story soon and forget, difficult for you but your only way out !
Re: Sydney, boygeorge and ...
[Some people love to harm your "hurt", Arie. This is the wold on SF. But also a lot off people go understand !
I hope you get over this sad story soon and forget, difficult for you but your only way out ![/quote]
Dear Baziel
I could not care less what he writes, its a free web.
The Interesting part here is that from day to day I discover new things about the dark side of J...n, and its more dark then light. I am getting mail from various people who read my thread and who know him. Its time that someone takes off his mask from his face, and reveal his true personality.
Take care
Arie
Re: Sydney, boygeorge and ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ziv77
[Some people love to harm your "hurt", Arie. This is the wold on SF. But also a lot off people go understand !
I hope you get over this sad story soon and forget, difficult for you but your only way out !
Dear Baziel
I could not care less what he writes, its a free web.
The Interesting part here is that from day to day I discover new things about the dark side of J...n, and its more dark then light. I am getting mail from various people who read my thread and who know him. Its time that someone takes off his mask from his face, and reveal his true personality.
Take care
Arie
[/quote]
I too would be interested in seeing this happen. As they say, payback can be hell.
Fondly,
Chris
www.niddysnook.com
** Home of Pattaya's Tastiest Cheeseburger **