Ditto, I know quite a few Uni students who have / are working in bars in the Holidays or before their first year to help pay their higher education costs
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Originally Posted by stevehadders
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Ditto, I know quite a few Uni students who have / are working in bars in the Holidays or before their first year to help pay their higher education costs
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Originally Posted by stevehadders
Well I wouldn't be to sure that that don't like you - the two things aren't mutually exclusive I find, but speaking personally I always try to keep in mind that there IS two sides to any interaction with ( bar) boys etc where one part IS having fun and getting on well with each other ( genuinely ) and then the other ( if the boy is smart) is him working out what his long term aim is from you and how he's going to make that happen - and if both of you are in agreement to his needs and plan that GREAT, you'll both have no problems and have a happy time together, whereas it's usually more when one side of the couple has one long term goal and the other either doesn't share that or has NO idea a plan even exists and confuses the "having fun together" part with the boys long terms goals and needs.
Ha only last night I was speaking on Skype to a long term Thai boy / bar friend where he was telling me just how much he wanted to come and live with me and why would I not send him a visa ( he knows that's never going to happen) where I had to remind him that he already had and was currently LIVING with a farang BF who is actually very good to him and the boy wants for nothing ! Meanwhile on my last trip the boy was sneaking out of the farangs hotel to come and see me for some (free) fun (as the farang wasn't giving him enough sex to keep him happy) and likewise the farang had actually just left Thailand a few days ago and so the boy was back on to me to "catch up" as the farang had been watching him like a hawk the whole 6 months he'd been with him ( unsuccessfully I should add). So, the boy mentioned coming here, I reminded him he had a BF and the boy rolled his eyes like "COME ON, we both know why I'm there as he takes good care of me and my family etc.
I then suggested to the boy that maybe he might consider NOT playing around and actually loving and taking care of this BF and you could see that that thought just didn't compute with him and in the next breath he was telling me ( as a friend) that he maybe WILL just marry him ( the farang hadn't asked yet but the boys cogs where turning in that that will be the next thing on his list) as that way "I'll get a passport to Europe which would be great as I want to go and work in Germany and Spain" ( so he thinks) and neither of those places by the way are where his BF is from so it's quite clear that his intent is to bugger off the first chance he gets, he even said that, "hey when I get a European passport then I CAN come and stay with you as I'll not need a visa!" lol - and THAT is after his BF doing all the right things, taking good care of the boy and his family, sending the boy 40,000 a month when he's not there ( to stop him having to work in the bar - even though he's never off Gay romeo and Grindr lol) and also even taking his BF back to Europe to let him see his Country with him with a view to them living together later.
I almost feel sorry for the guy but he's long enough in the tooth to know what's what and has been coming to Thailand for quite a while now so I can only guess he knows what he's doing and is merely paying the boy what he can easily afford while he gets whatever it is he needs in his life out of the arrangement as to be honest my Thai friend isn't exactly hard to suss out re his motives but I guess as they say love is blind and all that - so yes, eyes wide open at all times seems to be a smart move when dealing with the lovely creatures that call Thai bar boys :-)
Yeah I often wonder about that Alex as I too have heard that same line time out of number now when i ask how long you work bar etc and get the usual answer of one month lol - only for that to be followed up with the "I go university and I only work here for two months to get money and then I go back to Uni in Bangkok" - BUT many times I asked ( out of genuine interest) "oh, very good, what course are you doing" and then you see the deck of cards crumbling and you either get one of three answers those being either " Business Studies, English or Hotel management" but when you go any deeper it's quite obvious the boys don't even know what those courses might entail and I realise it's a mixture of saying what they think I want to hear ( not that I could care less) or a way of them perhaps extracting some more money out of us as they believe we will be more open to "helping" a struggling student who's trying to better themselves or just them trying to save face about working in the bar in the first place - so I wonder just how many of the "I only working here to help with my studies" answers that we get are in fact genuine - I'm guessing about 20-30% perhaps ?Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex303
ni do you tell the boy in this story he should stop playing around and cheating on his boyfriend before during or after you have sex with him ??
i surpose the bleeding hearts will now start going on about how loving the boys can be, and how many of them really are 100% in love and would never dream of cheating.
sometimes sitting in an internet cafe can be really enlightning, and funny, to see a boy sitting there pretend crying, telling the dumb ass on the other side of the screen how much he is missing him, telling him he is in his home village whilst sat 20 yards away from sunee plaza .. but the best bit is the smile they give you when they notice you are farang and try to get you to go with them ...
some of them have c.d's with farm animal noises they turn on to make the farang actually believe they are in their villages ..
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Originally Posted by timmberty
Well it's not my place of course to TELL the boy anything, he's a adult and can live his life how he wants, I did as I stated in my post, suggest to him that another option might be to stop fucking around and settle down with the guy who was taking care of him as for the last two years that's all he's constantly told me he was looking for but I was very aware that that was me applying my western logic to his life and expecting a Thai boy to get that - whereas he no doubt was applying his Thai logic of "but this is all part of how it works' as explained to him by the many boys that have came before him i.e. you find a farang, you get what you can and you move on ( or not) - and yes you certainly take care of him ( to look after your investment) while doing so, remembering all along that the farang is both totally unaware of all of the boys actions (possibly) and so is (probably) quite happy with his life with his lovely Thai BF.
So the boy will get what he can for as long as he can / he chooses to and then will move on to the next guy ( or the farang might do that too !), while perhaps at the same time running the first guy too if he can at all manage it hence the " I want to come and stay with you line he gave me - except he knows I'm on to him a long time ago and would metaphorically kick him in the ass for trying it on :-) So, by Thai standards is the boy doing anything wrong - perhaps not - and by western standards has the BF sat down and had the conversation about where are we going, what are we doing, what do you need and want from me / in life in the long term - probably not - and he's living day quite happily in his own wee bubble ( which maybe works perfectly for him for several other reasons the boy isn't even aware of such as he's divorced or something) - so who's fault is that then - the boys, I don't think so as he's just doing what (some) Thai boys do and what he's been taught - and as the boy by the way is 22 and the farang is 55-60 so I REALLY think it's the farang who's the one who needs to wake up as the boy is only doing what "works" for him.
And by the way I'm not slating Thai boys here for this as to me it's no different than if that same 55-60 year old guy met some hot 22 year old girl in a club here in Europe and she moved in with him, we would all expect her to do exactly the same thing and we would neither be surprised nor shocked if we watched her slowly cleaning him out to get what SHE needed out of the "relationship" - so why should it be any different for hot 22 year old Thai boys - in my view the onus is on the faring to know what they are doing, make sure they have the money and mental strength to carry on living like that until such times as the wont perhaps and then get on with it OR to see what's whats and to call a stop to it whenever THEY are ready - which is usually about the time that you hear the Thai boy screaming bitterly about ""oh farang bad man, he lie to me" - whereas actually on hearing that half times I always think "no, he said OK enough" and walked away - which again no matter what way you play it is all about about the original lack of communication between the two people in the first place about what they both need, want and expect from the other person in the long term.
dear god ni my line was a joke ... i really should start putting one of those 30billion smilies after where the laugh should be.
no need for chapter and verse again :kap: there hows that?
im sure we all know how much they lie, no need to tell us again !!! like you say why shouldnt they, if some old fool wants to give em a grand a month then why wouldnt they take it.
as i said i find it amusing to sit and watch from not to far afar, seeing just how easy it is to fool the old farang.
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Originally Posted by timmberty
Oh sorry - its just when I noted the question mark at the end of your sentence I assumed you were asking a question as lets face it you're not usually known for your outpouring of hilarity :-)
But ok, I'm glad it appears we both agree on the topic at hand that Thai boys can be lying scheming wee buggers - and many farang can be no better but just are a bit slower to catch on when they're being taken for a ride - oh and farm yard CD's with animal noises lol - now that MUST be a joke :-)
I know what you're saying NIrish, some boys definitely do use it as a 'cover'...but i'd say that 30-35% are genuine who say this, both my most recent BF did this (3month plus 1 month stint) until I met him & stepped in to help with his Uni fee's plus his good friend who also worked for a year in BT. His good friend now has a very good BF also who is helping him thru Uni.
But the reality is they are a smaller percentage as they're both very focussed and really apply themselves to their studies, the money they made from working in a bar would not have realistically funded more than a few months of Uni at best (without help from the family / friends etc).
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Originally Posted by Nirish guy
Thanks for the idea Timmy - I have ordered a copy for Latintopxxx - I assume that it feature ponies, donkeys and goats - and there's even a cock on the CD cover!!
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the answer to the original Q is: as varied as Thailand in itself is. Everything is possible. And those small-scale ricefarms really do not have that many workers needed. Thats why they head for BKK or other big cities.
Real students are a little more likely to work in massageshops- thats part-time and they can still study when there is nothing to work on, and in AC etc. Often its groups of friends from the same uni/institute (I really cannot call those technical colleges ''uni''- they prepare for electrician etc.), if you're lucky, it may even be a gay group (I was once).
Doing massage is in fact a fairly populair next stage job for many, as it is for ladies too.
And-surpirse-many a barboy has thus learnt enough of everyday's passable english to be enough qualified for a lower paid job at tourist hotels- in todays tourist boom good staff is very hard to find. Think more of those cheap 2nd rate hotelswhich most of you are completely unfamiliair with.