Re: Alternatives to Western Union
I only posted about the bad things regarding Kim. I'm not Mr. Perfect either, and although he was an asshole, he did genuinely love me. Plus it's been over 2 years, so there's a chance he's matured enough by now to be capable of a proper relationship. As long as he can adhere to a couple simple rules, he's taken care of for the rest of his life. For example, no partying in the house -- if you want to party, go into town somewhere and do it.
And yes, I want him. It's not about lust. Sex is a Line message away. I keep meeting various guys, and have yet to find someone I can see myself actually loving day-in day-out. However, I can see myself doing that with Kim.
I don't know though. My old next door neighbor still hasn't gotten back to me. I guess one of Kim's ladyboy friends opened a beauty salon here in town somewhere, and she said she was going to visit her today to get Kim's phone# for me. Haven't heard back though, so no idea. Thinking about that, I'll drop her a message.
I'll find him somehow.
Besides, more than likely he's already in a relationship and will just tell me to go fuck myself for abandoning him.
Re: Alternatives to Western Union
I keep meeting various guys, and have yet to find someone I can see myself actually loving day-in day-out"
I think if it was me I'd definitely keep looking just ! Anyway, like I said best of luck either way, I think you're nuts but who knows perhaps history won't repeat itself this time and his two years away from you will have made him realise just how much he loves you after all and this time things will all be different once you invest some more time and money on him to win him back and then he moves back in with you again - there, that's what you needed this time right......even if deep down you don't really believe it yourself either. Oh well, like I said ( genuinely) the best of luck with it and lets hope I'm wrong.
Re: Alternatives to Western Union
I've only ever loved two people in my life (outside of my family). One is my ex-husband, and the other is Kim.
I don't get a choice about who I love. Love is just one of those things that happens.
I'm 34 now, and it takes about 2 years of living with someone to get to know them inside and out. I really don't feel like going through that process with someone new. Kim and myself already know each other.
More than likely, it's nothing though. Again, he's probably already in a relationship in Bangkok living a good life, and will tell me to go fuck myself. Who knows. I will eventually get his phone# and find out though.
Re: Alternatives to Western Union
I can relate. ( to what *both* of you are saying )
My ex from New York finally called me one week ago, after refusing to even speak to me for a few years. What a shock! We had been together 18.5 years. All those ( good / love ) feelings come flooding back.... immediately followed by pangs of guilt.... "Did I abandon him?"
Sometimes it's not easy to keep a clear perspective on a relationship. While you're going through the break up....., you can only think about the bad things. Then years later... Looking at it a few years later in hindsight and nostalgia, you can only think about, and remember, the good things. That's natural. Our hearts and minds deceive us.
While what you say is true..... We don't get to choose who we fall in love with ( to some extent ).
It's even worse than that.
We don't get to choose who falls in love with us. Nor even.... How *much* someone may or may not fall in love with us.
So don't mistake *you* loving *him*...... for.... *him* loving *you*.... even if it seems like the same thing. It's not.
Not to mention.... His / our feelings change and evolve over time.
Be careful. Don't get your heart broken. Again.
It's also *very* possible to.... "Love someone from a distance." That's what I know I must do with my ex. I tell him I love him. But I know that I must keep a certain amount of distance between us ( for example, I could never live with him again ) in order to protect *myself*.
About meeting a new guy you could spend your life with.... It's a simple numbers game. The more guys you meet and get to know.... the better the chance you'll meet an amazing one..... or two... So meet six new guys a week.
When I came to Thailand in 2006, I met an amazing guy within 1 week. So I had 2 boyfriends. Six months later I met another amazing guy. Then I had 3 boyfriends. Then the 1st Thai guy broke up with me out of jealousy. ( the one I saw at A Bomb the other day ) Then only 3 weeks later, I met another amazing Thai guy. Then I was back to 3 boyfriends. Then my bf in New York and I mutually ended things... after 19 years. Then I had only 2 boyfriends. We all 3 lived together for about 1.5 years. Then the last one began to get more and more jealous. And then finally I caught the other one using drugs. He was so ashamed, he disappeared from my life. Then I had only 1 boyfriend..... until today. We're both very much in love and we make each other very happy.
But love is truly unlimited. When one relationship ends, for whatever reason, there's always another one waiting to find you. Like magic.
Re: Alternatives to Western Union
Quote:
Originally Posted by bruce_nyc
So don't mistake *you* loving *him*...... for.... *him* loving *you*.... even if it seems like the same thing. It's not.
No, he actually did love me. I know this because we were poor as dirt during a good portion of our relationship, and he still stuck by my side. Now I'm no longer poor, so that may help alleviate some issues.
Got his phone# now though. Hasn't read any of the Line messages I sent yet, but hopefully will tomorrow. Who knows if the phone# I got is even active. Definitely him though. Much whiter than I remember, so he definitely lives in Bangkok, lol. Aged a fair bit, which is good. Still working morlam apparently.
Who knows.
Re: Alternatives to Western Union
I don't doubt that he loved you....
The questions are:
How much? ....and....
How about now / still ?
But never stress about those things. If it's meant to be...... In other words, if you're meant to "love him from a distance", so be it. If you're meant to love him "close up", so be it.... as long as that's cool with both of you.
Nobody can stop you from loving someone..... even if it's "from a distance".
I've learned some of my most profound lessons from boyfriends.
First, was a joke....
Once, over breakfast, I asked my first Thai boyfriend... "How much do you love me?" He replied, "How much do you have?" :-*
Ha ha ha ( Ever heard the expression, Things said jokingly are meant seriously... )
I once asked my second Thai boyfriend, "If I was poor and had no money at all, would you still have chosen me to be your boyfriend?" He replied, "If I were fat, ugly, and feminine, would you have still chosen me to be your boyfriend?"
There is a lot of honesty and wisdom there in those two answers. There's nothing wrong with any of it. But keep it all in perspective. Going to "Paris" at Epcot Center in Disney World... isn't *really* Paris. ( .....not that it couldn't lead to a trip to the real Paris one day. :) )
( There. I brought it back to money. Are we back on topic now? ) :p
Re: Alternatives to Western Union
Are we back on topic now?
That all depends, are you paying for your trip to Paris with real money or insisting on using more of those dodgy bloody Bitcoin things !!! :-)
Re: Alternatives to Western Union
Quote:
Originally Posted by bruce_nyc
I don't doubt that he loved you....
The questions are:
How much?[/quote]
Enough to stick by my side while I was poor as shit. That's probably the biggest thing I miss about him. He wasn't materialistic in the slightest. He just didn't care.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bruce_nyc
IHow about now / still ?
Fucked if I know -- that's why I'm trying to get ahold of him. Whether or not he'd like a relationship with me, who knows. I'm pretty confident he'd be up for it though. At the very least, I'm sure he'd love to talk to me again. You don't spend 3.5 years of your life with someone, then just forget about them.
I have a phone# for him now, but the Line messages I sent are still unread. I'm not sure if this is his active phone#, or if he has a new one already, etc. The phone# I got is definitely him though, as I can see his Line profile pics.
Re: Alternatives to Western Union
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdnmatt
One is my ex-husband ...
I'm so pleased for you to hear that the divorce has finally come through.
Re: Alternatives to Western Union
Quote:
Originally Posted by kommentariat
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdnmatt
One is my ex-husband ...
I'm so pleased for you to hear that the divorce has finally come through.
I'm in Thailand, he's in Budapest, the marriage is in British Columbia, Canada, so I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter. Besides, I only ever hear from him via e-mail once every 2 - 3 months when he tells me how much he thinks about and misses me.
He's almost a bigger asshole than Kim was.
Line messages still unread, so quite obviously I got an old phone#. It's definitely him, but I don't think he's using that # any more.