Be firm and draw a clear boundary
I guess FBF could do one of 2 things. He could get the school involved - this may embarrass and emotionally traumatise the boy if they don't handle it delicately... but it would put the teacher in a much safer position. Or he could not get the school involved... and simply deal with it himself. But if something were to go wrong, he would be at more risk than he would be if he openly informed the school early in the case.
Either way, whatever he does, he should clearly draw the line with the boy and set boundaries. Be friendly, and be a mentor or role model if desired, but set firm boundaries! The boy may be distraught or emotional... but that's part of being a teenager, and nothing he won't get over.
When I was 17, I was befriended by a boy 4 years below me. He was a sort of strong alpha male type, popular, good at sports etc... but like all teenagers, he could be very vulnerable and unsure at times when he let his guard down. I don't know why he was attracted to me at all. At first, I think he was just looking for a role model or someone older to look up to for reassurance. After a while, I could feel he was starting to get quite emotionally attached and had a strong "crush". He got distressed if I didn't show him attention and tried to provoke me etc.
We kept being friends, but I didn't let it go any further than that (I wasn't very "developed" and was too confused to do anything myself at the time). I think he was pretty upset by this, but he'll get over it.
I think it's pretty normal for kids to do this. They crave older role models. Sometimes they can become infatuated with one. I remember studying some theory that might relate to this in psychology... can't remember what it's called though. But yeah... a lot of the time, it's not a sexual thing. If there's anything physical about it, it's just the need to feel secure. Everyone, especially kids, needs a hug every now and then. It shouldn't be viewed sexually.
Re: Be firm and draw a clear boundary
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachlover
I guess FBF could do one of 2 things. He could get the school involved - this may embarrass and emotionally traumatise the boy if they don't handle it delicately... but it would put the teacher in a much safer position. Or he could not get the school involved... and simply deal with it himself. But if something were to go wrong, he would be at more risk than he would be if he openly informed the school early in the case.
Either way, whatever he does, he should clearly draw the line with the boy and set boundaries. Be friendly, and be a mentor or role model if desired, but set firm boundaries! The boy may be distraught or emotional... but that's part of being a teenager, and nothing he won't get over.
When I was 17, I was befriended by a boy 4 years below me. He was a sort of strong alpha male type, popular, good at sports etc... but like all teenagers, he could be very vulnerable and unsure at times when he let his guard down. I don't know why he was attracted to me at all. At first, I think he was just looking for a role model or someone older to look up to for reassurance. After a while, I could feel he was starting to get quite emotionally attached and had a strong "crush". He got distressed if I didn't show him attention and tried to provoke me etc.
We kept being friends, but I didn't let it go any further than that (I wasn't very "developed" and was too confused to do anything myself at the time). I think he was pretty upset by this, but he'll get over it.
I think it's pretty normal for kids to do this. They crave older role models. Sometimes they can become infatuated with one. I remember studying some theory that might relate to this in psychology... can't remember what it's called though. But yeah... a lot of the time, it's not a sexual thing. If there's anything physical about it, it's just the need to feel secure. Everyone, especially kids, needs a hug every now and then. It shouldn't be viewed sexually.
I agree. Thinking back about this topic, I suddenly realized that my older brother Jim developed a serious (REALLY SERIOUS) crush on a baseball player named Eddie Mathews, and my other older brother spent a small fortune on a framed portrait of Ted Williams (another baseball player). Nothing sexual about it, but a definite search for role models and mentors.
It's interesting to me that this seems to be something which absolutely transcends cultural boundaries, just like "romantic love," which some farang professors used to believe was something that only happened in Farangistan.
Not at all. Listen to pop music from around the world, and it's 95% about love.