The state of your prostate...

It was time for the prostate examination. My own doctor was on holiday so a locum welcomed me at the door with a bucket of KY and his right hand swathed in latex.

"I must warn you," he said that I am about to insert my finger into your anus and this may cause an erection."
"Thank you for the warning, doctor. I would appreciate it, therefore, if I could hang about for a few minutes after the examination to let it subside as I don't want to display a bulge while walking back through the waiting room."
He looked at me with a mischievous grin and a look of great anticipation before whispering, "When I said it may cause an erection I wasn't actually referring to you."