Pattaya Report

Well, another fantastic holiday in Pattaya has come to an end and so here are my findings.

Songkran: I was there for the last 1 1/12 days. The 18th was largely dry in most places except for Boyztown which was a total waterfight between the boys, however no customers were drenched without their permission even by the kids running around armed with water pistols. The 19th was the free for all you'd expect. I spent 4 hours down in Jomtien and had a ball but the fun of that is outweighed by the soakings I received everywhere else so I would definitely give it a miss in future.

Sunee Plaza: Depressing and dark. MFAS is probably right, it does look as if it's leaving the scene. The three Go Go bars seem to be doing OK although only Eros could claim to be actually busy. Nice Boys needs to get back to the boy boys they had before because the tinky winkie twinkies it has now clearly don't appeal to enough customers. Power boys is only ever a one or two visit bar per trip. My off from there was a previous and as good the second/third time around. He's beautiful and 21 years old and has bought himself a fuck off big motorbike so not only did he have to endure sexual shenanigans with me but also suffer a long lecture on road safety, no drunk riding, helmets etc.

Boyztown: Where I spent most of my time. BBB was always good to hang out both inside and out. It has a good vibe and the boys are always very polite to me. Several past offs work there and they all come to me for 20 baht when they do the big cock run around. I would have offed a boy there, very very unusual for me because he was gay and I virtually never off gays. However, he said he didn't smoke. Minimum requirement for a gay off is that they smoke. X-Boys has so many boys that have been there for so long that I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't a grandparent among them. The show pretty much the same. However I did manage to off a long term target. Previously he'd always been slightly out of reach, either with someone or busy or 'toothache'. This time I got him and he was fantastic, well worth the wait. That bar still has bait boys, you know, the boys who art never offable but just there to be bought drinks for. This policy must cost the bars that employ it so many customers. Toy Boys and Funny Boys remain the same with clean, nicely behaved well mannered boys. Never had a bad from either. WWB has reopened under the mamasan from hell (Leila) so I didn't go in but my off from outside was quite literally perfect.

Jomtien seems to be going from strength to strength and was very often extremely busy. It's got lots of host bars as well as some excellent restaurants. Regardless of any by-laws I suspect a few gay Go GO bars will appear in the not to distant future, perhaps one of the Sunee ones might re-locate.

Dining out on a budget has never been easier. Head to Tuckom and take a look at the menus of Cuisine au Buerre, Deli Diner and Petite Planet and then decide which menu you like, Similar pricing and standards of food. I had dinner at PP a couple of times and they've really raised their game. The food was excellent. I absolutely recommend the pork loin with prune sauce.

Managed 3 trips down to Bang Saray during my time and ate in one of the seafood restaurants. Can't tell you the name but it's the last one on the left as you leave the built up area directly opposite the brand new and stunning beach houses that have been built. Wonderful food and with views right across the bay.

I went to The Glasshouse, once for lunch and once for a latte on the way back to Pattaya. Lunchtime was deserted so it was like having my own beachside restaurant. In the evening there must have been 300 people stretched out along the beach and on the 3 restaurant floors. Lit by strings of light bulbs it was a fantastic sight. Most of the customers were Thais/falang rather than the infamous Chinese so the atmosphere was of like minded people thoroughly enjoying themselves without imposing their behaviour on anyone else.

Royal House massage becomes a karaoke bar at 12 midnight until 3 and then it turns into a sort of party with everyone mingling and talking. I was the only foreigner there and had an absolute ball. I was putting 20 baht notes down the boys pants but that might be a privilege reserved for me. Try it and see.

This was an awesome trip and reaffirms my belief that Pattaya remains the absolute worlds best holiday destination.

The best: The boys, every off was an absolute joy. The lady who returned the 3000 baht I dropped. The weather which was hot, hot and hotter. My hotel where they manage to make me feel more welcome every time I pitch up and raise not an eyebrow, even when I take two boys (separately) back in one night.

The worst. The horrible flower seller woman who refused to engage with me, found it an almighty chore to tell me the prices, made snide comments in Thai to her colleague and so I ended spending 135 baht rather than the 500 baht I had intended.

Hi Arsenal, can I ask which hotel you stayed at please? Just looking at options for a trip later in the year. Thanks

Excellent report, arsenal. My observations of the bar scene concur with yours. The one surprise was any water splashing at all was allowed in Boyztown. In previous years none was allowed.

I've been meaning to try The Glasshouse, but haven't gotten there yet. After reading your report I probably will. In Pattaya it certainly is not necessary to spend a fortune on restaurants. There are plenty for every budget and taste.

I'm glad you had such a wonderful holiday here. I hope everyone who comes to Thailand, no matter where in Thailand they go, has a fabulous holiday here.

Aux1010. I've PMd you.

If you live in Pattaya and have nothing to do one day then mooch on down to Bang Saray and take a look at the show house in the new row of beach houses built along the front. Ordinarily I would not suggest a visit to a show house because unless you're interested in buying it's a bit of a waste of time.

But these are a little bit special in their design. They could have built ordinary houses but they've made serious choices/compromises so that what's there is truly fantastic. Inspired by the British beach houses built in the Edwardian era they have a character that manages to be both classic and modern at the same time. I love them.

Afterwards you can go to the restaurant opposite and enjoy the deep fried mackerel with mango salsa, sweet and sour shrimp, vegetables in oyster sauce, steamed rice and choose from a huge selection of ice cream/sorbets for a perfect finish. That will cost about 600 baht.

Tired of boy bars. This is the perfect evening trip.

Approximately how many punters were in the go-go bars you visited?

Oliver: It varied considerably from one (me) to almost full for the show at BBB and indeed Toy Boys was often very busy with perhaps 30 customers.