Living in Thailand 3 - My Fish Farm Hell

Have just returned from a weekend in Ko Samet, my first visit to the island. In appearance it didn't quite live up to my expectations. It has fine white beaches but hardly any palm trees, which I consider de rigueur for a paradise island. I was told they were all cut down when resorts started to be developed there. Other trees are plentiful, but, apart from a few flame trees, they are not particularly striking, more of a background fuzz. I stayed at the Malibu Resort in the horseshoe bay of Ao Wong Duan, because that's where the English friend I accompanied always stays. It's considered relatively upmarket, with its white-washed bungalows in a pretty garden setting, but I thought my room rather tatty and very much overpriced at 1700B a night (low season). The breakfast was nothing special either.

We spent our first full day doing typical lazy beachy things. We both had Thai companions with us. My friend, who was celebrating his 48th birthday, has a boyfriend of two years' standing who is clearly in love with him (yes, it is possible). My own companion was a handsome barboy who gives me good service and seems to like me, without ever claiming to love me, and that suits me just dandy. Most of the other occupants of the beach at this time of year were Thais along for the weekend. I liked the relaxed, fun atmosphere that this made for.

On the Sunday we went for a speedboat trip round the island. We stopped for some snorkelling, then proceeded to a fish farm, where the fun really began. Quite why I did it I'll never know, but on ascending the few wooden steps from the boat I briefly surveyed the grid of net-covered holding tanks separated by two-planks-wide paths and then stepped directly onto what I thought was a solid surface but which a moment's study would have shown to be merely a black canvas strip next to the netting over the nearest tank. I distinctly recall my English friend raising his voice in alarm to say,'No, don't do that!' Ah, but I'd already done it, you see, and the result was predictable: I went straight through the canvas into the tank with accompanying ripping and sploshing sounds. My, was I surprised! There was a great flurry of activity to get me out again, which was duly achieved in short order. I assured everyone I was all right, more concerned about the poor camera hanging round my neck. Miraculously, only the linen case had got wet and the camera itself seemed unscathed. We all peered into the tank to see what fate I had been saved from: just some pink and orange fish about a foot long which looked far too well brought up and polite to take so much as a nibble at a farang's legs. BUT in adjoining tanks there were turtles and, I kid you not, a small shark. For some reason it occurred to me that I really must sort out some health insurance.

After the fish farm we went to a restaurant situated out at sea for a snack. The ribbing from my English friend had got into full swing by now. Comments like, 'When you go fishing you're meant to take some bait, you know, not use yourself'. Or, 'Why didn't you tell me you were filming an episode of Mr Bean - you were, weren't you?' After one pause for verbal re-arming he said, 'If you'd fallen in I could have understood it. It would have been daft but would at least have been explicable in terms of the behaviour of a sane person. But to step in...' His eyes widened with merriment and his mouth hung open. 'Aw, c'mon,' I said, 'there are worse things to be than a complete prat, you know.' 'Like what?' he said. 'Well, like... a murderer, for instance.' He shook his head sadly in denial of my proposition. 'Well, all right then... a mass murderer,' I said. This time he thought about it and then wiggled his downward-turned horizontal palm to indicate that maybe, just maybe, I was right. I could see from the wicked, meditative glint in his eye that all this was merely the beginning, the first ripples of an ever-expanding circle of ridicule. Other people, lots of other people, were going to hear about this. Soon I'll be approached by total strangers in the street who'll point and say, 'Hey, aren't you the prat who stepped into the fish tank...' I resigned myself to my fate with quiet dignity. Meanwhile, interestingly enough, our two Thai companions were remaining aloof from all the badinage. I really don't think it is in the Thai nature to use personal misfortune as an excuse for ritual humiliation. I like Thai people.

On the Sunday evening there was a sit-down meal at one long table for all the Thai workers at the Malibu Resort, about 35 in all. My English friend organises this at his own expense every year, a wonderful gesture I think, which wouldn't even occur to most of us. In explanation he had told me about their working conditions: up to 15 hours a day for 100B, meals not included, one day off a month if they were lucky. I had already seen their living accommodation: a group of primitive shacks on waste ground behind the bungalows. So it was a pleasure to watch them all tucking into the great plates of food and sampling the array of drinks. It had been obvious to me all weekend how these people hold my friend in real affection (I've lived long enough to be able to distinguish the genuine article); now he was beaming at all of them with the conviviality of one of Dickens' larger-than-life characters. At one point his boyfriend, sitting next to him at the head of the table, announced that he was 'too happy to eat', a felicitous expression which had my English friend and I casting about for other applications ('I'm too happy to settle my bill...') After the meal a Thai with a microphone called forward each worker in turn to be presented with an envelope containing 500B and a hug from my English friend. A photographer would snap the happy scene. When it was finally over, I congratulated my friend on his largesse and on having carried it all off so well. He grimaced and said, 'I hate every moment. I find it exquisitely embarrassing. But it's how they like things to be done out here.' Lilting Isaan music had been playing throughout the meal and now people started wandering onto the floor to dance (and yes, Smiles, they got me to join in!) We had the traditional Thai cock-up when the music kept stopping, but no one seemed to care. A few people were getting hammered on the booze, but it just seemed to bring out high spirits, not aggression. When I left at about eleven, people were drifting away but a hard core continued apparently till two or three in the morning. I muttered a few platitudes of thanks to my English friend in parting, then planted a kiss on his cheek as the best way I could think of expressing my feelings towards him.

The Monday morning was overcast and drizzly with some thunder rolling about. After more hugs and farewells from staff members, mainly directed at my friend, we all boarded the speedboat heading back to Ban Phe on the mainland. As we skimmed over the water, my friend nodded to one side and said innocently, 'There's another fish farm over there if you'd like us to make a quick detour...' Bastard!

A great story we came across and thought a nice bump for people to read.

PeterUk your timely story reminded me of my trip to Koh Samet last November. I had not visited before but had been encouraged to do so by Thai friends. Like you I was disappointed that this is not quiet the tropical idle it is made out to be. I stayed in the Ao Prao Resort on the quieter west coast of the island and most evenings we had picturesque sunsets. The hotel is one of three on this beautiful white sandy beach, with sun loungers for guests and hammocks strung between palm trees. It is the best side of the island for snorkelling and diving. The hotel had its own diving boat and crew. My thai boyfriend and I hired it one day. He went out one night with the boys to do squid fishing, although given the state he came to bed in I would say little fish was caught but much whiskey had been consumed. Mind you he gets very sexual when he has had alcohol and very funny with his play acting, I had to quieten him down for fear of waking the other guests. We were in a sea view cottage, one of the wooden bali type houses, fully air continued and plenty of hot water. These are strung out over the beach front and hill side. The resort is one of five owned on the island by koh Samed Resorts who leave from their own pier on the mainland and not with the great unwashed from the main pier. The speedboat ride right to the beach is a great fun ride and free. One of the other hotels in the group is on the same beach and you can mix and match restaurants, we ate at their thai restaurant most nights, table for two on the beach under torch light. I found meals expensive, especially as we had a bottle of wine most night. You are pretty much a captive audience. On Friday and Saturday evening there is a fire show on the beach by the local lads, great entertainment. I spent most of my time sunbathing or in the warm sea or lying by the pool. My BF stayed in the shade but I got him into the water a few times, he was frightened of getting "black". I keep telling him that his skin colour is perfect, but I know the perception of good looking over there it whiter skin like we tend to think the same about tanned skin over here. We took the baht bus to the main town - a dump. Literally a one horse town, it did have 7/11 on both sides of the street with ATMs. There is nothing there worth seeing. I thought the east side of the island with the beer bars and majority of accommodation to be crowded and unclean, you could see and smell sewage. We went once and escaped back to our side of the island. Our beach as we called it got some visitors during the day from visiting speed boats mainly Chinese who only stayed a couple of hours. The rest was left to the guests of our three smallish hotels. A further bonus no loud music or traffic is aloud on the beach or in the resorts after 8.00pm . A lovely gesture to the to the peace of the surroundings. Like you Peter the forest which still makes up over 80% of the island seems very brash and lacking any tropical beauty apart from the palms planted by the hotels. The orchids were beautiful and the birds in trees a welcome sight each morning. It was a good place to unwind for about three or four days and very handy to Pattaya but I would not bother to go back, but would like to explore Rayong in greater detail and Koh Samed Resorts has opened their first hotel there on the mainland.

PeterUk-I always enjoy your posts. But this one touched me. Thank you for taking the time and effort to post it. Your friend has a good heart....if memory serves, I believe the Thais refer to it as jai-dee. What a beautiful jesture to share his good fortune with the staff. Surely he will be blessed for his kindness.

Dax

Thanks Peter, for your usual well written and entertaining story. I laughed out loud at your friend's ribbing. And happy to hear of an ex-pat who is loved by by his boy friend(as judged by someone outside the relationship). I have heard the expression "too happy to eat" before once or twice, and find it strangely touching in the roller coaster of life.

Sorry to have missed this story of eight years ago, on it's first circuit, but thanks Neal for the recycling. I expect there are a few more gems to be brought back to life.

I would love to take the credit Brad but in fact someone else found it and brought it to my attention for recycling. I thank him.