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Dodger
August 10th, 2009, 17:18
Hi you maniacs;

I usually enjoy launching my Trip Report a week or so after returning from my adventures in Oz, although, returned home nearly two months ago and still struggling with the concept of writing anything.

My mother passed away in January after battling colon cancer for nearly a year. I contemplated canceling my holiday last April-May because of this, but didnтАЩt.

Two weeks into my holiday I received a call from one of my sisters informing me that my father had passed away suddenly from a heart attack. I contemplated going home, but didnтАЩt. After talking to each of my siblings, their advice was to do exactly as dad (and mom) would have wished. And that was to continue enjoying lifeтАжapproach the grieving process as an inevitable and natural eventтАжand skip the funeral.

I returned to PTY with Tape and tried to get a grip on things. Completely contrary to my normal lifestyle when in LOS, I decided that a set routine aimed at keeping me busier in the day time, e.g., more physical exercise (yeh, that too), more interaction with farangs (which I usually avoid like the plague), two hours of swimming in the pool each day and frequent calls home to interact with siblings, would help matters along.

I found myself drifting (emotionally) from the clutches of Tape, who was still in the game-playing mode with his yaba use, although he stayed with me at the condo for about 5 weeks. No discos, no karaokeтАЩs, and minimal interaction with the working boys this trip. Just a bunch of nights getting smashed at the local drinking hole and letting time pass. I got drunk one night at the bar and pulled some boys pants down and liked his ass. Actually, I didnтАЩt remember the part about licking his ass, but my farang friends seemed to take great joy in describing this event to me in fine detail. I could hear my fatherтАЩs voiceтАжтАЭSee Ely, whatтАЩd I tell you, those homos are all sexual perverts.тАЭ

After enduring two battles with Tape, both of which were centered on his drug usage, I packed his bags for him and told him we were finished. We saw each other several times after that, although never put the pieces back together. I simply didnтАЩt have the will or motivation to glue the pieces of this scattered delusional puzzle back together again. I was content to just drop the pieces inside a box, close the lid, and scribble the words тАЬstore in a cool placeтАЭ and move on with things.

Pattaya was a pretty depressing scene during that period, which IтАЩm sure you guys have chewed apart for months. Very few customers, police raids, bar closures, frequent power outages due to the constant rain, and a boys who didnтАЩt even try to fake a smile anymore. Just a grim scene all together.


On a positive noteтАж

I enjoyed the nightly banter with friends at the Corner Bar, breakfasts at Two Faces, afternoon massages, # 22 at Nice Boys, # 12 at Look Bar (IтАЩll check in with him in about 4 years when his undies stay up by themselves), and a new boy at Euro Bar who didnтАЩt have a number yet and doesnтАЩt need one. Through all the dense fog created by the economic conditions, somehow the magic was still there. The boys showed their resilience at weathering the economic storm which amazed me, although the drug usage was even more rampant (or obviously rampant) than in the past.

An optimist at heart, IтАЩm looking forward to my return in October and plan to enjoy it to the max. I plan a side trip up to Uttaradit in north-central LOS for a week or so. I visited Uttaradit with a boy I met via the internet a few years back and had a great time, although always wanted to return to explore the scene alone, with more freedom for socializing (butterflying). ThereтАЩs a large University in Uttaradit which is one of the primary sources of the main attraction тАУтАЬthe boysтАЭ. My friend took me to the one-and-only disco in town with a handful of his friends, and I was surprised at the number of gays we met that night тАУ all with soft clinging handshakes and those alluring smiles. It should be fun.

IтАЩm sure you maniacs are critiquing the gogo bars on a regular basis, so no need to babble too much on this subject. As far as IтАЩm concerned, they never really changeтАжjust the names over the doors, the color of the walls тАжand the constant shuffling of numbers from one bar to the next. Sunee Plaza is a place that always changes тАУ but never changes. Boyztown is the same, but they pay more for their signs, so change them less frequently. Star Boyz Gogo has the best looking boys in Boyztown IMO. Krazy Dragon in SP also has some great eye catches for those who prefer the тАЬboy next doorтАЭ typesтАжfun atmosphereтАжfair pricesтАж and well managed. Look Bar is appropriately namedтАжlook, but donтАЩt touch. A great haunt for Walt Disney fans. I always like Villa Rouge (KAOS) because of its size and selection of boys, although a pretty dreary scene during the period I was there.

Bud (from DC), Gary (Corner Bar), Jim (S. Carolina), Jim (Jimmy James), Warren, Bob, Dervis, Geezer,тАжI really enjoyed your company. Cat, where the hell were you?

Eric (ex manager/chef at Clubbing) now runs a small kitchen at Up to You Bar next to Memories, and serves some scrumptious meals, my favorite being chicken breast with blue cheese sauce & boiled potatoes. His stuffed cabbage is another great dish. There are only a few tables - but worth a try if you want (or need) a good down-home carb boost.

As is so typical, I met a real dream during my last week in town who was really interesting, to say the least. If I would have met him sooner my daily anti-depression exercises would have much more enjoyable. He was new in town, didnтАЩt speak a word of English, wasnтАЩt faking the shy partтАжlooked like an angelтАжmoved like an angelтАжand then wrapped his legs around me and fucked like Satan on steroids.

He is just my typeтАжfemтАжpassiveтАжslimтАжsmoothт Ажsoft kisserтАжhand-holding type, but, no doubt heтАЩd transition into a full-fledged ladyboy if he hung around with me for a while. Why? I donтАЩt know why. ThatтАЩs just what happens. Sometimes I think IтАЩm nothing more than a ladyboy factory. Boy Special, my flame from the past, was much the same as this boy, cute, wonderful smile, soft, cuddly, and great at faking orgasms, nothing to complain about there, but then, he decided to show his true colors and out came the lipstick and sparkly high heeled shoes. I went to see him last May for a friendly visit and he looked like my Aunt Lilly. One cup of coffee and a peck on the cheek and I was out of there.

Well, thatтАЩs about it. My dad died, I broke up (again) with Tape, my favorite gogo bars were closed, the rain never stopped, I got so drunk I licked some strange boys ass in a bar, and then I finally meet a real dream boy and had to jump on the plane to come home.

Better luck next time.




Mai pen rai

cdnmatt
August 10th, 2009, 18:25
You must have started writing this one a while ago. Look bar is closed now, and re-opened. Can't remember the new name (they change too often), but you can touch now. :) They're all legal aged now, or at least look it.

There's a new "Look" bar though... a little ways down from the old Look bar. Can't remember the name, Dreamboys, or something. I don't think there was a boy over 15 in that one.

catawampuscat
August 10th, 2009, 21:45
Loved your report, Dodger. Health issues with aging parents has kept me
away from our usual haunts and many reports of low low season, bar closings,
police actions etc. have made it easier for me to play good son for the time being.
Hopefully we will catch up next time..
Your mention of a kissing a boys butt reminded me of a boy named Den who
I last saw in Corner Bar almost a year ago.. He behaved yaabaa hyper and
was different from years past when he was very attractive and full of life. He
pulled down his shorts and rubbed his naked butt into my crotch and was shameless
about being naked in the open air beer bar.. I declined his offer and gave him
some baht and never saw him again..
I just heard he committed suicide and it
was sad to hear how quickly his life was over.
When Den was at his prime, he had a gf/wife and a baby son who looked
like him and he was so proud of the boy, but lost it all to yaabaa and mental problems..
Den mostly played snooker at the Sunee Beer Bar
with the sprawling plastic chairs cattycorner to Corner Bar..
any my condolences Dodger for losing both parents in such a short time... :cat:

August 10th, 2009, 23:59
I'm sorry to hear about the passing of both your mother and father. My condolences.

Even though you report may seem dark, it's not, considering what has happened to you. You say what's on your mind and you're honest.

A similar event happened to me. My mom passed away one month to day before I was to leave for Thailand for the first time; she battled cancer for ten years.

I had similar impressions of Bangkok and Pattaya, and I drank a lot and my tongue wandered. :drunken: I broke down suddenly with a guy I had met when he started talking about his family.

My second trip, a year later, was more enjoyable. I did more, saw more but still missed my mom, still do. She always wanted to hear about my trips and see the pictures. Even last time in Bangkok, in the back of my head I was thinking I can't wait to tell mom about this experience. My heart dropped when I realized that she's gone. It really does take time to heal from events like this.

Thanks for sharing your trip, your experiences and a bit about your life. Take care of yourself and I'm looking forward to future stories.

krobbie
August 11th, 2009, 02:50
Dodger, as always a poignant and well revealed post. I am sorry to here of you parents demise and the departure of Tape. You made a very wise move concerning the latter.

You sound a little flat currently and I hope you are able shake that off. It is only natural after the recent events but what you need is a holiday (again) and sooner rather than later.

I myself am off and away at the beginning of September and I couldn't care less if it pisses with rain the whole time. At least I will be warm and Spring is taking its sweet time arriving in New Zealand.

Good to read something from you and look forward to your next post. Be of good cheer Dodger.

krobbie

Beachlover
August 11th, 2009, 15:53
Sorry to hear about your parents, Dodger... and sorry to hear you broke up with Tape. That's a real shame. I hope he gets it together.

Sounds like you're smart enough to handle the downs better than most. Glad your trip ended well. I hope you have some more good stories from it.

anakot
August 13th, 2009, 06:52
Thanks for the report Dodger. Thanks.

Beachlover
August 13th, 2009, 09:46
Hey Dodger, did you say in an earlier post that returning to Pattaya with Tape was a mistake?... Would this have contributed to his return to old habits?

Surfcrest
August 13th, 2009, 10:28
yabba - 1. A slang nickname for the drug methamphetamine, aka [crystal meth].

The word "yabba" sounds cute like doobie, except crystal meth is nothing like a doobie.
No need to describe that, Google it! If you are with a meth user, it's not going to turn out good for you.

Surfcrest

August 13th, 2009, 10:55
Sorry to hear about your folks Dodger.
I think you're the only poster who ever really let us know about his family. I can still see your Dad chomping his cigar silently on the balcony after you accidentally outed yourself showing your trip videos on TV!

I'm also sorry to hear about your breakup. I'm assuming this is the same guy you got back together with a year or so ago?
That's so sad. I really had high hopes that things would work out.

A lot of blows to take all at once.

Hang in there guy.

Hugs from a distance.... :hb:

Dodger
August 13th, 2009, 17:49
Thanks to everyone here for your feedback and thoughtful comments.

Beachlover:


Hey Dodger, did you say in an earlier post that returning to Pattaya with Tape was a mistake?... Would this have contributed to his return to old habits?

He was (and probably is now) using yaba in his home town of Si Saket. The root cause was not him returning to Pattaya - it was me returning to my bad habit...HIM.

Yaba, as someone insinuated, is a very addictive drug due to the fact that the idiots are tossing trace elements (throw away elements) of heroin in the recipe. But it's more than just the addictive properties of yaba that are at the root of Tapes challenges. He is just 22 y/o and still learning from making mistakes as we all do in life. I see his challanges as being multiplied by the fact that he submersed himself in the working scene at a young age, and consequently, fell in with the other ladyboys on the scene, and they're a tough number, believe me. I don't know one of his ladyboy friends who isn't a yaba head. Most are peddling the stuff as well.

There isn't a day (or night) that passes without me thinking of him, and I prey that he will make it through this phase of his life without ending up in the monkey house, or worse, but know that I have done all that is possible to help him and now need to focus on maintaining the quality of my own life.

Beachlover
August 13th, 2009, 20:16
Hey Dodger,

Thanks. That's a sobering reality. It must be really hard for the family as well. Sounds like his circumstances, journey and the people surrounding him really push him towards continuing the use of drugs. Must be a tough force to overcome.

Do you feel any sort of loss or regret at having spent all that time and money with his family and even building a house for them?

I wonder if Thailand needs a large scale drug education campaign... Just like the critical need to use condoms, many of these Thais coming from rural areas may not be aware of the facts and effects surrounding the drug. They make decisions based on what people around them are doing as the norm... without the facts. I don't think the "facts" would turn off all potential drug users but perhaps it would turn off some, who would make the decision better informed.

Perhaps the next boy you really settle down with won't face so much adversity.

Surfcrest
August 13th, 2009, 20:49
Yaba, as someone insinuated, is a very addictive drug due to the fact that the idiots are tossing trace elements (throw away elements) of heroin in the recipe.

No, not so. That's not how it's made. It's as, if not more addictive than heroin.
Like I said, Google it so you know what you are dealing with!
Your wallet will never keep up with their addiction, opening the door for theft or extra curricular activities on the side so they can keep it going. Unless you're there at the time, you'll have no idea what those extra curricular activities are. The lifestyle leads them to be highly (pardon the pun) to STD infection including HIV and Hep C.
Sooner or later it will drive them mad, they'll wind up at the "monkey house" or dead and they'll' drag you with them if they can.

Surfcrest

Dodger
August 14th, 2009, 09:54
Beachlover:


Do you feel any sort of loss or regret at having spent all that time and money with his family and even building a house for them?

I have two primary regrets; First is the fact that our relationship failed and I know the future for Tape is going to be a grim one, and secondly, the fact that I may never see his family again and I will miss them dearly. As far as the house goes, that's about the only positive feeling I'm walking away with.

Tapes family, like most Isaan farm families, work very hard and get very little in return. The first time I met them I liked them, and those feelings just grew stronger over time. They always treated me kindly and went out of their way to make sure that my needs were being met and that I was enjoying myself. Over the past five year period I've developed a deep respect for them as well, thus the durations of my visits to their village grew longer over time.

What I used to regret very deeply, was the fact that after enjoying my visits with the family, I would return hime to my soft bed, air conditioned loft, fully loaded entertainment system, and the comfort of all the modern utilities at my finger tips. Then I would lay in bed and think about where they would be sleeping that night.

Before constructing the new home, they, meaning Tapes parents, one grand mother, one aunt, two kids (still not really sure where they came from), and of course Tape when he was at home, lived in an old dalapidated rice storage shed. Yes, a shed. Four walls constructed of warped wooden planks with holes and separations that you could toss a basketball through, a partial tin roof, partial meaning 1/3rd of the roof was covered with an old tarp which fell inside the dwelling every time there was a heavy rain, and a table. Yes, just one wooden table that appeared as if it was dragged from benieth a heep in a junkyard somewhere. Their only prized possetion was the TV I gave to them a few years ago.

Building that home for them was one of the most rewarding events of my life, and having a sense of regret for giving it to them would render me as nothing more than a shallow and self-centered person with no sense of purpose whatsoever. And frankly, that is not the way I chose to view myself. That home is beatiful too, and will be providing family members for generations with comfortable shelter well after I'm gone.

UncleSam
August 14th, 2009, 10:30
'...having a sense of regret for giving it to them would render me as nothing more than a shallow and self-centered person with no sense of purpose whatsoever.

No more so than choosing to enjoy a holiday chasing boys in Thailand than attend your father's funeral.

August 14th, 2009, 10:52
What kind of name is "Tape"? Is it similar to "Thep", meaning "Angel" (as in "Krungthep")?

Dodger
August 14th, 2009, 18:33
Good question.

I don't think "Tape" is the correct spelling, although that is the way it is pronouned, with a long "A." How is Thep pronouned, as used in Krongthep?

August 14th, 2009, 22:28
Similar to "Tape". I'm sure that his real name is "Thep", which is usually short for a longer name either beginning or ending with "Thep"...like "Suthep" or "Thepchai".

Dodger
August 14th, 2009, 23:49
Thanks,

I'm sure you are correct.

Thep it is - but angel he ain't!

Beachlover
August 15th, 2009, 19:50
Beachlover:

I have two primary regrets; First is the fact that our relationship failed and I know the future for Tape is going to be a grim one, and secondly, the fact that I may never see his family again and I will miss them dearly. As far as the house goes, that's about the only positive feeling I'm walking away with.

Tapes family, like most Isaan farm families, work very hard and get very little in return. The first time I met them I liked them, and those feelings just grew stronger over time. They always treated me kindly and went out of their way to make sure that my needs were being met and that I was enjoying myself. Over the past five year period I've developed a deep respect for them as well, thus the durations of my visits to their village grew longer over time.

What I used to regret very deeply, was the fact that after enjoying my visits with the family, I would return hime to my soft bed, air conditioned loft, fully loaded entertainment system, and the comfort of all the modern utilities at my finger tips. Then I would lay in bed and think about where they would be sleeping that night.

Before constructing the new home, they, meaning Tapes parents, one grand mother, one aunt, two kids (still not really sure where they came from), and of course Tape when he was at home, lived in an old dalapidated rice storage shed. Yes, a shed. Four walls constructed of warped wooden planks with holes and separations that you could toss a basketball through, a partial tin roof, partial meaning 1/3rd of the roof was covered with an old tarp which fell inside the dwelling every time there was a heavy rain, and a table. Yes, just one wooden table that appeared as if it was dragged from benieth a heep in a junkyard somewhere. Their only prized possetion was the TV I gave to them a few years ago.

Building that home for them was one of the most rewarding events of my life, and having a sense of regret for giving it to them would render me as nothing more than a shallow and self-centered person with no sense of purpose whatsoever. And frankly, that is not the way I chose to view myself. That home is beatiful too, and will be providing family members for generations with comfortable shelter well after I'm gone.

That's a very positive and uplifting attitude, Dodger. Thanks for sharing it with us. You must be proud to have built the home for them. And I'm sure they will always remember you. I hope the path leads to good for Tape. You must have had to be strong to make the decision to end it when you did. Perhaps the pain of this loss will eventually bring him back on track.

zinzone
August 16th, 2009, 14:46
Dodger writes:

"Building that home for them was one of the most rewarding events of my life, and having a sense of regret for giving it to them would render me as nothing more than a shallow and self-centered person with no sense of purpose whatsoever. And frankly, that is not the way I chose to view myself. That home is beatiful too, and will be providing family members for generations with comfortable shelter well after I'm gone."

-So Dodger, let me get this right. You have gotten rid of your drug addicted troublesome b/f and provided a house for him and all his relatives and for generations of that family and no doubt for others in their extended clan. The house replaces the shed they previously occupied.
Plus there is all the other things whether emotional or financial provided to him and them over time.

Out of curiosity and in your estimation and approximately in total how much in money terms has this Tape etc and all his family cost you?

You say you have no regret giving it to them as otherwise it would in your opinion render you a 'shallow and self-centered person' and so on etc/etc/bullshit/self serving justification blah blah blah....

Of course there is the argument you are a total mug and by doing what you have done it merely reinforces the view that there is an idiot foreigner born every minute prepared to lavish the earth on ungrateful and scheming Thais and all their addicted and useless families, friends, acquaintances, hangers on et al.....

But perhaps I will be accused of being shallow and self centered?!

Dodger
August 16th, 2009, 17:30
zinzone:


Of course there is the argument you are a total mug and by doing what you have done it merely reinforces the view that there is an idiot foreigner born every minute prepared to lavish the earth on ungrateful and scheming Thais and all their addicted and useless families, friends, acquaintances, hangers on et al.....

I agree with the part about there being an idiot foreigner born every minute, as your statement above solidifies that fact, although, you're forgetting that there is more than one farang born every minute.

Your insinuation that all Thai families are ungratefiul, scheming, addicted, and useless, also amplifies your level of personal usefullness in this life, and should be cause for reflection...if only a shallow reflection...a reflection none the less.

August 17th, 2009, 21:21
Dodger, you treated zinzone with more respect than he deserved - none. Unfortunately the number of farangs I have met here who have kept their word to Thais, unless it was in their own interests, are minimal and that is reflected in some of the comments here.

For the total cynic such as zinzone, Dodger pointed out soon after his trip spent building Tape's house that the cost of the house and holiday combined was little more than he would have spent on an equivalent holiday in Pattaya, and that the holiday was considerably more enjoyable. How can that be considered anything other than money well spent for all concerned, including Dodger?

GayThailand
August 25th, 2009, 21:57
Dodger,

Your reports about your trips to LOS are always a true joy to read. I know it takes time and effort to put it all down. Thank you for always taking your time and putting up such great stories that help all of us see Thailand in a different light.

quiet1
August 26th, 2009, 10:10
Dodger,

Your reports about your trips to LOS are always a true joy to read. I know it takes time and effort to put it all down. Thank you for always taking your time and putting up such great stories that help all of us see Thailand in a different light.
Agreed. But, why is this one pinned as an "announcement" at the top of the forum list?

elephantspike
August 26th, 2009, 17:04
It's just to make it appear on the Portal page. I'm working on that. It says "Featured Articles" instead of "Announcements" in prosilver. I'll change it to that tomorrow in subsilver2.

Dodger
August 27th, 2009, 16:37
Spike...

I think it was a nice gesture placing my post as a featured article, but think you should probably pull it off the limb now.

My next Trip Report may be worthy of such acknowledgement, although will probably require a bit of serious censoring...555

Thanks

elephantspike
August 27th, 2009, 16:57
Done.

I'm trying to figure out how to make featured articles appear in that block on the Portal page without putting them in any special block on the forum index, but that will take some rewriting of the portal php code.

August 27th, 2009, 17:03
My next Trip Report may be worthy of such acknowledgement

What a tease you are! Have you found a new route to Miramar, by any chance?

Dodger
August 28th, 2009, 03:57
Bunny:


Have you found a new route to Miramar, by any chance?

None needed. I can just swim across the lake like the guy from Missouri did earlier this year. No bridges to find...border crossing hassels...or visa crap...just a few hundred feet of sewer pipe to navigate.