B/F Gay or Str8??????

I understand that the definition of gay and str8 is not the same in LOS. But how do i tell if my b/f is gay or str8. In private he is verything you could ask for in a str8 acting gay b/f. But when we 1st met he said he used to have g/f and he only went to work in bar for cash. we have great fun and time together and I take very good care of him $$$$. I have never seen him chat with other boys and says he never mixes with other boys from bars etc.... when we meet friend they are all girls eiethr from his village of freinds from girl bars that he know. he seems to spend all his time with females and I have never met any males friends. My b/f know I have just broken up with my ex thai b/f of 4 years and aboviously he is keep to be then next boy i sponsor. I have told him i am 10% butterfly and he says he is happy if i am happy but mke sur he keeps face.

I have visited LOS many many time before over last 5 years but not that experined on the butterfly stakes, i generally stay very loyal to the one boy. Any advice would be welcome.

[Aunty]

In my opinion mate, your bf is gay for pay. And that's cool, you still get to enjoy him and his company, as well as his unique manly charms. Just don't expect him honey to burst out singing show songs by Judy and Babs. It ain't gonna happen.

Do you actually need that though? I mean what are you really asking/needing here? Do you want to know he's sincere? That he actually likes you for you, and not because of your money? Is that what this is about? Are you developing feelings for him, maybe even falling in love and you need some sort of reassurance around a feeling of insecurity that his intentions are genuine? If that is what you want and need, (and perfectly reasonable they are too) then in my view run, don't walk away from this guy.

When it comes to figuring out if someone is gay or str8, don't pay a blind bit of attention to what they say, just look at what they do. This is a time where actions really do speak louder than words. He has already admitted to having a past gf, and he's already told you he got in to the man sex thing for pay. HELLO! Anybody home!! :-)

He seeks the company of women, almost exclusively from what you say (Why is that? He's looking for recipes? No, he's wanting to score!). He's never told you he's had a past bf. HELLO!!! But this is the acid test. When you go out with him, who's he looking at? When an attractive young woman walks by, does his eyes travel lasciviously to her supple breasts, her pliant thighs, and her big round jelly butt, or is he more interested in the shoes she's wearing, assuming that is, he's even noticed she exists. And when a young couple walks by, who's he looking at. The boy or the girl? If it's the girl, he's str8. And the proof, let him access porn sites on your computer when you're not there. Set him all up so he can. Then go in and check the cache. If it's girlie pics he's been perving at, well I think he won't be baking cakes and hosting dinner parties for six. That will be your job!

[TrongpaiExpat]

When I met my BF 3 years ago, he said he was 80/20, with 80% being gay. He had sex one time with a Thai girl back in Isarn when he was 18, he is 26 now. He said it was her idea and he was drunk but he liked it.

Recently he began talking about sex with ladies and began asking me questions as I was married for most of my 20's. I asked him if he wanted to have sex with a lady and he said yes. I said it was OK with me and we went off to soi cowboy to find one.

He was very nervous and I noticed he began drinking more than usual. We talked to several and he kept finding excuses not to off this one or that one. Two ladies came up to us and sat with us and the BF was very uncomfortable.

After hours of looking and meeting Thai ladies, he announced that he now want to retract the 20% gay and wants to go home. Sex with lady, bad idea.

[Mi Cow Chai-old]

My bf was a go go boy. We met when I offed him from a bar. He is straight. His wife is my friend. His daughter calls me grandpa. We have been lovers for 14 years. We still enjoy sex. The point is go for whatever works for the both of you.

hey Aunty thanks 4 your comments. No I am not falling in love, never , never, never. but ask about b/f being gay, Guess I am hoping he like having sex with me. Im 38 in good shape but not a 20 year old Brad Pitt. Think I will ask him when we meet next about if he has g/f or not.ive discuss briefly about 3 some with another boy but not sure if hes up 4 it, do many boys go with thais for sex, man on man?

[CHAOTOU]

If you are 38, you are younger than Brad Pitt! ;-)

[colmx]

Hi jingmith

I don't understand how you can be Boyfriends but not in love?

Seems like a contradiction to me?

I guess the definition u are looking for is not BF in the case of this relationship??

As for boys who had GFs, well havn't they all? Especially when thye were yound and in school... that doesn't mean they don't discover that they like guys better once thay start working in bars!

My Bf has straight friend who started working in a bar only 5 weeks ago. He was Off'ed three days in a row by a Lady-boy... Now 3 weeks later they are lovers and practically living together... with no money involved any more...

Bf reckons his friend was always guy... just didn't know he liked it till he tried it!

My bf was a go go boy. We met when I offed him from a bar. He is straight. His wife is my friend. His daughter calls me grandpa. We have been lovers for 14 years. We still enjoy sex. The point is go for whatever works for the both of you.

I think this is a good reply. There are so many variations of sexual preference, and as another contributor mentioned, some people supress their cravings for years until one day they try something new that opens up new horizons for them. Whilst I understand your desire to know the 'real' him, maybe it isn't necessary to put a label on him for you to both enjoy and benefit from your relationship. Take your time to get to know him and good luck :bounce:

Current BF is gay, and proud of it.

As some of you know, May Day is a holiday in Thailand. Pattaya fills up with many many Thai tourists coming to the fun in the sun. The traffic in and out of Pattaya that day becomes close to paralytic. Getting to Jomtien is only possible by motosai and even then you may end up walking a bit.

That evening BF and I were heading to North Pattaya for dinner. We jumped into a baht bus and were soon caught in the May Day exodus gridlock. While queued at a stoplight, a baht bus full of teenage girls from Bangkok was stopped right next to us.

The girls starting hitting on the BF. Lots of "handsome", "cute", "movie star", etc. All true of course, he is a real stunner. He jokes a bit with them and when they ask him to join him and give them his mobile number, he puts his arm around me and tells them I am his BF. The look on their faces (and mine) was precious. The girls would not believe him at first, but when they did, they asked about 1000 polite questions about the both of us. Of course BF being a charming and friendly guy was very open about us. The girls were fascinated.

The traffic finally started to move and we soon separated. Lot of waving and genuine expressions of happiness and good luck on both sides. A surprisingly tender moment I will never forget.

I understand that the definition of gay and str8 is not the same in LOS.

Ok, guys, bring me into the new milennium. What *are* the definitions of gay and straight these days?

To me, a curmudgeon born deep in the last millenium, gay meant having sex with the same gender, and straight meant having sex with the opposite gender. Bi-sexual was the term for one who would have (or prefer to have) sex with either gender.


My bf was a go go boy. ... He is straight. ... We still enjoy sex.

Assuming the author of those comments and his bf are both male, in the Old World that would make his bf gay (or bi-sexual). In these changed days, what determines if a male who has sex with another male is gay, or if he is straight? Heck, maybe I'm straight but don't know it?

Has straight become a euphemism for same-sex participants who would rather not be bonking the same sex?

Ok, guys, bring me into the new milennium. What *are* the definitions of gay and straight these days?

I have found this entire thread a really interesting topic with everyone making great comments and giving little insights into their own past or present relationships or experiences.

I prefer (just a preference) the more manly type, no young boys and no feminine guys, it just doesn't rock my boat. From my own personal experience of what's left, I have found that most of the more masculine guys consider themselves (in western terms) to be straight, or, as mentioned above, 80% straight and 20% gay (as one guy I met said, 'I'm 80% man and 20% gay').

One of the guys, a bar boy, I met on my first trip to Thailand made no bones about the fact that he was in it for money and even pointed out his girlfirend, who was sitting outside the bar working one of those food carts. It was a little weird at first to get used to the fact that you were chatting with a potential bed buddy whilst his girlfriend sat close by watching everything you did. But after several trips to Thailand and seeing the same guy again, I find that it doesn't seem all that weird at all. I have been out with the guy and his girlfriend for meals, karaoke and drinks and she has always been fun and a real laugh, making jokes at her boyfriends expense and she actually encourages her other half to spend time with me. I know it's a money thing, proof incase is the number of times hints are made about the need for a new mobile phone or that he wants to spend more time with me i.e. earn more money. But when the money is put aside we just have a good time.

Not all experiences are of course satisfactory. There are a number of the more manly gogo or bar boys who just cannot get or sustain wood, will do some things but not others (i.e. suck but not kiss, get plugged but not suck etc) and who are very chatty and smiley and friendly in the bar but clam up and want to get it all over with as soon as you get to the room.

I do find it amusing however that straight gogo guys have a professional interest in the cock and balls of their coworkers, how they like to compare and even make jokes about each others attributes, and isn't it amazing how many of these self declared straight guys bone up at the flick of a tongue and are all too ready to get their legs in the air.

So, I guess what I am saying from my personal experience is that their isn't just gay and straight and bisexual, there is, what Kinsey suggested, that whole rainbow of sexuality that is, in parts of Thailand, perhaps more evident than anywere else in the world.

[GWMinUS]

I am not the expert here.
BUT
My take is that Guys in thailand and, particularly, the Philippines equate GAY with being Swish.
Not so far as to be a Ladyboy, but not MANLY!!!
so when they say they are not Gay, they mean they are not nelly...

Many I have offed who say right out they are straight can be wonderful in bed!!
They often describe themselves as, not Gay, very much a man!!!
HAHA, so am I!!! I just love cock!!!

[gearguy]

I remember reading about a survey here in the US a while back, that esp. in the South, a lot of men who have sex with men don't identify themselves as gay. Gay to them means a certain political stand which they don't share.

Straight for the nearest man!

Someone asked... "what exactly IS normal and what is NOT"?
As far as I'm aware, everyone there was str8 (well at least, they are married) and the discussion proved inconclusive.
So many variations were mentioned, no-one could actually say definitively that any group is 'normal'. We could only work out that statistically, one group might (ie. preferring the opposite sex of a similar age) be more prevalent than the others, but since many people don't 'go public' about their preferences, we weren't even certain about that!

The range of preferences included those who like...
the opposite sex, the same sex, either sex, transexuals, older, younger, same age, fat, slim, naked, clothed, passive, active, smooth, hairy, bondaged, free, pain, gentle, anal (both genders), none-anal, leather, rubber, toys, no-toys, animals, outdoor, indoor, bed-only, kitchen table. Oh my, the list is endless. :cheers:

Aren't we liucky that we are only having to discuss 'gay or striaght' ?

My bf was a go go boy. We met when I offed him from a bar. He is straight. His wife is my friend. His daughter calls me grandpa. We have been lovers for 14 years. We still enjoy sex. The point is go for whatever works for the both of you.

Must be in Thailand or other planet !

Isn't it possible that he is actually gay and just keeping up appearances for his family who want him to provide them with some heirs?

Baziel in Bruxells do the words "cash cow" mean anything?

The range of preferences included those who like...
the opposite sex, the same sex, either sex, transsexuals, older, younger, same age, fat, slim, naked, clothed, passive, active, smooth, hairy, bondaged, free, pain, gentle, anal (both genders), none-anal, leather, rubber, toys, no-toys, animals, outdoor, indoor, bed-only, kitchen table. Oh my, the list is endless. :cheers:

For the fun of it, I highlighted the ones I like--And add to the list a few other things I tried (& liked):
with chunky, hunky, tiny, a midget--And one who was six-foot-eight,
oral,
anal (Top): with ice cubes, with Noxzema (Oooo!), with tooth paste (AYOR),
up to my elbow,
on top a leaky dam,
in a: row boat, canoe, choir loft, barn, garage, hospital bed, hospital linen closet, movie theater, coffin, cemetery,
in a 'back room' bar, in the woods (Got my...crotch...in poison oak.),
YMCA shower room, golden-shower-in-the-shower, scrub brush as...toy,
on a peaked roof,
cottaging,
at various tubs all over the world,
in swimming pools,
in a snow fort,
with food,
cooking oil parties,
'group therapy',
with bottom wearing a bridle & making horse noises,
on a plane-train-moving car-moving truck,
under a bridge over a busy street on a bright sunny afternoon,
in a Paris doorway,
with the concierge on the hall table of a Geneva hotel,
under a table at October-fest,
boy-scout camp,
logging camp,
three-way at senior prom (Dates found us and were mad as hell.)
three-way (We finished it.) at a high school graduation rehearsal,
on top a rock formation in Arizona,
in a gallery at MOMA,
in Metropolitan Opera standing room.
Tried to do it in St. Peter's dome but too damn many tourists!
There's more--But too kinky to mention in mixed company--And boygeorge is mixed. So, when I fill out one of those dating service forms; I just check: versatile.

[Aunty]

Edith you trollop. :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: I can see that your agenda has been very full on occasions.

Oh by the way, did you ever follow the working girls creed? Keep a diary, because one day it will keep you?

Edith you should write a book! (or you could titilate us all with a Blog here :idea: )
I can see that the creative imagination you demonstrate in your writings here extends to your love life too! ...a coffin??? :alien:

I want to go out with a bang.


Edith you should write a book! (or you could titillate us all with a Blog here :idea: )
I can see that the creative imagination you demonstrate in your writings here extends to your love life too! ...a coffin??? :alien:

Hey! I left out the raunchiest bits!
I kid you not; a tall, thin, pale--But humpy--young carpenter I met in New York (And they say L.A. is the land of fruits & nuts!) had built a coffin--satin lined and everything--in his living-room-cum-mortuary: torchaire lamps, Calla lilies (Such a strange flower.), soft organ music.... It was designed to look like a credenza when closed; when open it was where he...did all the things one usually does in a bed. In my opinion; it was too narrow; I cracked my elbow while in the process of cracking him: what I get for trying to do...'two things at once'--And I thought his abundant use of white talc & tuberose cologne was a bit much. :sad1:

Then there was the time I met an undertaker at a bar in New Orleans...three guesses what he was driving. And what was in the back--But that story is one of the raunchy bits.... (Maybe I'll save it for Halloween.) But I'll tell you this much just to tease: we went to St. Louis Cemetary...He had a permit...and did it on top a crypt. It made an impression on me: the nest day, there was an imprint on my arse: Died 1878!

When I go to New York I want to catch up with you Edith.

You will never catch up, but keep trying.
By the way; while in New York; would you care to buy a bridge?
There are several I can show you; all suitable for jumping off.
Just let me know when you'll be there. I meet you in the ramble in Central Park. Around midnight.



Do you talk with one of those husky new york brooklyn accents.

While I can say, "Toiddy poiple boids was sittin' on da coib, boipin' `n choipin' `n eatin' doidy woims; when along came Hoimin fum da shoit factry wid his goil fren Goity...`n woint dey poitoibed!" I choose not to. Last I tried, I dislocated my tongue bone. Perhaps because I lived too many years in Coupla, Tennessee: "The showtest distance atween two pints is a straight lion," and Brooklynese don't mix well--Rather like an Ozzie speaking... English.

Current BF is gay, and proud of it.

The girls starting hitting on the BF. Lots of "handsome", "cute", "movie star", etc. All true of course, he is a real stunner. He jokes a bit with them and when they ask him to join him and give them his mobile number, he puts his arm around me and tells them I am his BF.

A surprisingly tender moment I will never forget.

Oh my, Joe M, you are truly one of the blessed ones.

Who would have thought that your openly gay boyfriend would refuse the adoring advances of a bunch of fawning, giggly females when his geriatric boyfriend/rice bowl was sitting right next to him. Then again, we shouldn't be surprised. Thais are known for their sincerity and uncompromising loyalty. I'm sure his proclamation that you were his bf would have been even louder had the advances come from a group of pulchritudinous, F4-type boys.

Go with love, grow with love.

geriatric boyfriend/rice bowl was sitting right next to him.


That is a great description of your self, why waste it on others