Question about a situation .......

Want to get some opinions on a current situation. IтАЩm not a newby - been going in and out of Bangkok several times a year for a few years. KNOW the ways of bar boys - OK?

Very butterfly. Often take off different boys for a few hours or a few days. Sometimes the same boy a couple of times. Have a number of long term Thai friends - not sex. Into Thai history and culture.

Last year I offed an Issan boy in Bangkok a couple of nights and found him to be a good kid with some nice ideas about his future. Sex for both of us nothing special. Money, except for tip, not an issue nor mentioned. After I left I sent him a book and the remainder of my baht - not much. When I returned to Bangkok several months later I indicated that I was a bit more interested in him and spending some time with him. He was not at all interested and said, тАЬso sorry it does not work out for you and me.тАЭ OK good and to the point.

In December I suddenly got an email from him [had given him my card the first time I met him]. He IS interested, wants to see me when I return. Often sends email saying the same thing.

What is going on here?

[catawampuscat]

Impossible to know what the boy is thinking.
We can all make assumptions based on experience but they
will be useless and just guesses..
My guess would be he detects your interest and thinks it may
pan out as we are fast heading into slow season and tough times.
It could be anything and your guess is best.. :cat:

[Lunchtime O'Booze]

I don't doubt your story in the slightest Francis but I reckon if you get an answer you will have solved one of life's great mysteries..an insight into the workings of Thai lad's mind.

Give it a go anyway..love has blossomed under far stranger conditions. Treat it as an adventure and where it goes..you may not know but it could be fun.

What o`booze said. Give it a try. it wont cost you more than you want it to as you said you are not a newbie.

[krobbie]

If you want to see him again on your next trip, tell him so. In the interim send NO MONEY, but keep up your steady emails.

If very soon there should be requests for funds as Mumma is unwell or have to get new room or any of a hundred other reasons ... you will have the correct answer. This was born from something other than affection on his part.

If indeed there are no such requests and you meet up next you are there fantastic. Maybe you have found boy special.

Time is the key here. When are you back on LOS?

Cheers
krobbie

Thanks for the replies and suggestions. Yes, I do plan to "Give it a go anyway..love has blossomed under far stranger conditions. Treat it as an adventure and where it goes..you may not know but it could be fun." [Thanks O'Booze]

krobbie: There has not been a request for funds, mother ill, dead cow, yet. I have rather expected this but so far nothing. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall???

Perhaps one of the problems is me. I have always been the one who chases after someone. Never been chased before and the role is a bit strange for me??????

a lot of Thais seem to subscribe to the old proverb about distinguishing between birds in the hand and birds in the bush.

My guess would be that at the time you contacted him he had (or thought he had) a steady long term money provider that he was prepared to bank on.

Now things have changed, so.......things have changed.

I've never known a Thai boy to turn down a second money stream (or a third, or a fourth...).

[Aunty]

I agree, Beach Bunny. Sounds like the #1 Sugardaddy is out of the picture for some reason and he's now frantically looking for another.

[Dodger]

Francis...

I'm really not good on giving advice on these matters, as I usually have enough on my hands managing my own blunders, but in this case I will. Bottom line...If you really like the boy, and the two of you have good chemistry, then just go for it. Return his call, get together, and have a ball together.

We only live once, and life is just too short to waste our time worrying about trivial matters, and the reason why he's contacting you now means absolutely nothing in the big scheme of things.

I often remind myself, that the boys need us as much as we need them. Our (farang) needs, of course align more with receiving sexual and/or emotionel gratification from them - with their needs aligning more with the financial support we can offer them, but regardless of the nature or source of our needs, the fact still remains that we do sincerely need each other.

I had a farang ask me once; "Dodger, you don't actually believe he loves you, do you"? My response: "No, not yet, but with a little more practice I hope to."

Enjoy your adventure Francis...and while you're at it, remember this old saying; "If a person believes is something which does not exist with enough passion, he can create it.

Albert Einstein

[krobbie]

Francis, As usual Dodger makes complete sense. Go for it if your heart and mind tells you to. You now have read the information at your disposal, so you will know the alarm signals. Sometimes just "taking a punt" can be very rewarding.

Choc dee Francis,
krobbie

[Lunchtime O'Booze]

I 'd suggest Dodger's advice could probably apply to as many western relationships as Asia.

Plenty of us whities marry a pretty or sexy girl/boy knowing that an exchange of gifts and money for favours is required and everything works well.

Do as krobbie says, keep in touch with him and give it a go next time you are there. You will never know until you meet up and spend some quality time together.........I think most of us in here have both won and lost, but when you do win it makes up for all those previous broken hearts :)

Best of luck :cheers:

[mj_87-old]

Send the kid more books, 10,000 baht a month, declare your lust and love and then take a trip and hope for the best.

If it works out great -- if not you at least have a good companion during your next trip to thailand...

Forget what the cheap charlies say -- send the kid money.

[Patexpat]

for 'cheap charlie' read 'experience' :bounce:

[mj_87-old]

for 'cheap charlie' read 'experience' :bounce:

Sorry - I should have written - those experienced cheap charlies --

I stand corrected.

[Patexpat]

standing corrected implies a learning process of which it appears you have still to progress through!

[mj_87-old]

standing corrected implies a learning process of which it appears you have still to progress through!

And your point it what?

To wax philosphical - Life is a learning process. How would I progress THROUGH learning... Wouldn't that imply that at some point there is nothing more to learn? Hmmm... that would be a very uninteresting life.

[Dani69]

Go for it it all boils down to cash at the end of the day but the more you are with him i gaurantee he will grow to like you not just for you ATM card. I speak from experience, I met a sweet gogo boy offed him as we do , them offed him long time.
Now we are more then customer and Boy we are friends, ok i still give him gifts etc but it works out a lot cheaper then offing a boy from day to day. He emails me daily , talks to me daily on msn (ok after work ), and even rings me now and then which aint cheap from Thailand if you have not got Skype, voipbuster etc.
I return to LOS in 2 weeks and he will be waiting me at the airport.... might not be LOVE as we westeners think of love generally but WTF I enjoy it and so does he , and at the end of the day you only live once.

[Patexpat]

Dani - hear hear - for people not lucky enough to live here your short post sums what I think is a sensible approach to the whole thing VERY nicely! :salute: