Mild sexual confusion

[Chuai-Duai]

A few years ago I was staying with a Thai friend "Noon" in Bangkok. He wanted me to meet a friend of his "Lek" and we arranged to meet at the Wat Arun and then go and have a Thai meal.

Noon and I took the ferry across the Chao Phraya and waited. Lek soon appeared and Noon introduced me. Lek's English was better than Noon's and we all spoke English after I'd done my usual "Sawatdee Krap".

But there was something that I found unsettling which was that I found Lek totally androgynous and I had no idea if I was talking to a girl or a boy. I'm not talking off the alternative sexuality of a Ladyboy which, ironically, would probably have meant more make up and a more "feminine" appearance even if they were male. Lek had no makeup and had a pleasant face but nothing remarkable. A shapeless and baggy white sweater could have hidden a slightly flat chested female body. Or it could just be a baggy sweater over a male one.

The voice offered no clues and the graceful gestures could still be male or female in Thailand. The name didn't help either as it's a common nick-name which means "Little" and could also be male or female.

I'd assumed that Lek would be male as they'd worked with Noon as a shop assistant but they didn't have to be.

I just didn't like to ask what sex they were and in a way it didn't really matter but I still felt uneasy not knowing. Neither Noon or Lek would have had any idea I was unsure and, I suspect, would have been very surprised.

After some time climbing Wat Arun we went for our meal in a small Thai restaurant and, at last, Lek spoke Thai and thanked the waiter with a "Korp Kun Ka".

That single small syllable "Ka", that can confuse many tourists when they first encounter it, was my saviour. Lek was a girl and I could relax.

[elephantspike]

That just means that she self identifies as female, it doesn't necessarily mean she is biologically female.

[Chuai-Duai]

That just means that she self identifies as female, it doesn't necessarily mean she is biologically female.

As long as I was responding to her in the way that she was comfortable with that then it doesn't really matter. I have no reason now to doubt that she was a biological girl.

[Bob]

What Spike was trying to tell you is that use of the word "ka" instead of "krab/krap" is not proof of anything. Almost every ladyboy (with penis) I've come across uses "ka" and, as Spike noted, it's because he either thinks of himself as a girl or wants others to think of him as a girl.

Based on your description (that you couldn't tell one way or the other), I'd bet he was biologically a boy. But, like you said, who cares....

Your comment that you were then able to respond to him/her in a manner he/she would find comfortable rather puzzles me. What changes did you make (i.e. how was your language and/or actions changed)?

[Dodger]

Just look for the Adams Apple !

[netrix]

yea a thai friend of mine in bkk is really "straight acting" most of the time,
but when he gets around friends...other gay-ish boys...they use "ka" just
to be funny with each other. i suppose its like when i'm in the clubs with
my gay friends in the usa and we say "bitch" and "hey girl" to each other.
i'm pretty masculine, but when i see another butch gay friend acting a
fool in the bar, i'll turn to my friends and say something like, "look at
HER, what is SHE doing now?"

[Wesley]

Its the M.J.S. The Michal Jackson syndrome. if you didn't know he was a boy it would be herd for me to tell by listening to his voice and often his body.

Wes

[Hmmm]

Sounds like a tomboy to me, ie a girl who dresses like a boy. Seems like there's as many of them as ladyboys in Thailand. Usually they're not too hard to pick. There's only so much that wrapping one's breasts can do with a girl's figure.

I don't know if it is common for tomboys to use 'ka', or 'pretend' like the ladyboys who use ka, by using khrap.

I could ask my bf to ask his sister, who is a lesbian. Only her gf is a construction worker (whom I haven't met), so I suspect his sister is the 'dii' (femme) side of the partnership and thus may not be an authority on the subject. :-)