Alert: Old Biddies Amongst Us ... A Personal Rant

[x in pattaya]

Personal rant about тАЬrelationshipsтАЭ and who you (are allowed to) find sexually appealing.

One of the wonderful things about Thailand is that most of us are able to enjoy the sexual life that we found difficult to practice elsewhere, AND WE CAN DO IT WITHOUT JUDGMENTAL OLD BIDDIES TELLING US HOW WRONG WE ARE.

But it is indeed a shrinking world and the judgmental old biddiesтАЩ reach is long enough to penetrate even ThailandтАЩs peace.
http://www.sillyoldfarts.co.uk/images/OldLady1s.JPG



No doubt Noom is using you and has a wife or girlfriend etc lurking in the background which you are financing.
This is the problem with so many farang mugs who come to this town and throw bundles of cash at straight boys ...

How very Hedda-esque. If you like straight boys, you must be blind, gullible and a victim of the wiles of a very sophisticated, cunning boy whose cunning sophistry is only practiced by heterosexuals.


If you are a farang, especially those of us who have celebrated our 39th birthday more than once, and you have a favorite bar boy and/or have established a "relationship" with a younger Thai male, surely you can accept that they have had and will continue to have a life that extends beyond just the two of you ... just as presumably you have a life that doesn't include your Thai friend. If you care about each other, why would you want to deny each other that?

A few of you may have managed to construct a life where the two of you are together 24/7, but I have to believe that for many of us that would wear thin in time.

I doubt many of these "relationships" mirror the supposed model of straight connubial bliss, which is itself more myth than reality. Why should it? The dynamics and the goals arenтАЩt the same. Yet some of the vociferous advocates of тАЬauthenticтАЭ or тАЬ realтАЭ relationships will only accept the BreedersтАЩ Model that is largely a fantasy anyway.

I know of someone who does very nearly have the 24/7 relationship with his Thai friend. They both are happy with that. I'm happy for them, but I also know I couldn't handle it. I donтАЩt feel the need to mount a campaign attacking him just because heтАЩs happy with that sort of thing and I wouldnтАЩt be.

The "relationship" I have with my friend is defined by what suits us. We enjoy spending time together and we enjoy spending time apart. In fact we enjoy spending time together more because we spend some time apart. He doesnтАЩt force that on me. I insist on it for both our sakes.

When we are apart we do things that we wouldn't do together. I donтАЩt mean nasty secret things that we conceal from each other. I mean things that our different ages and cultural backgrounds and orientations make interesting to one of us and not to the other. He, for example, plays football and takraw. No one wants to seriously contemplate me doing either. I enjoy watching some American & British mysteries & comedies on TV. He couldnтАЩt follow them and if he could he wouldnтАЩt find them interesting or funny.

I sometimes take off a boy or two from the bars and he does whatever suits him. ItтАЩs not a betrayal of our relationship; itтАЩs a factor of our relationship. I would guess having sex outside the main relationship is fairly common in all supposed monogamous relationships, but usually done in secret тАж until one of the loving couple hires a private detective & a lawyer and buys a gun to facilitate their traditional loving dialogue.

Some guys love ladyboys. Some guys like very effeminate boys. Some like тАЬrough tradeтАЭ or bondage or leather or uniforms or S&M or chubby boys or bears or тАж

CanтАЩt see any of it myself, but if thatтАЩs you and youтАЩre happy, why would it bother me one way or the other? I prefer straight guys or those who are nearer the straight end of the continuum. I donтАЩt know why that causes some of the fragile personalities here to go into conniptions. Pretending IтАЩm turned on by something else just to be PC would mean hiding in another closet.

I suppose most of the straight guys who work in the bars or who can have sex with another man are somewhat bi, even if they donтАЩt recognize it. But I agree with cat when he said:


I find that most of the boys in the game are basically 'sexual' and can handle men women ladymen whatever comes their way. :cat:

IтАЩm getting exactly what I want from my LT friend and (usually) from the boys I off... and as often as I want it. I donтАЩt think IтАЩm turning them queer or that they wear chastity belts when weтАЩre apart. During my recent trip to Bangkok I had a massage at Senso with a gay boy and sex with a couple of straight guys from The Boys of Bangkok and (I think) Dream Boys. The gay guy was decidedly forgettable and the other two I wonтАЩt soon forget.

I donтАЩt throw any more money at straight boys than others throw at gay boys and if you think the (majority of) gay boys remain exclusively yours, you may be in for some unsettling news concerning Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

I remember Hedda used to lament how her endless chain of (gay) boyfriends proved unfaithful and broke her tiny, withered heart repeatedly. Her conclusion was that NO ONE could ever enjoy ANY THAI boy because she had failed to do so and therefore everyone else was deep in delusional territory.

CoffeeBreak, I fear, is also sexually frustrated and has thrown a bit too much money at his beloved multitude of gay boys, all of whom apparently had masses of unpaid lovers lurking in the wings. He writes a humorous parody, but if he himself isnтАЩt happy, he extrapolates that no one else can be. If he expected absolute fidelity and was disappointed, by extension everyone else is a victim of deception.

I hope he & Hedda can find whatever it is that will bring them happiness, but unless they're into necrophilia (which wouldnтАЩt be a total surprise), IтАЩm afraid their targets will always fall short of their high standards тАж and therefore, quod erat demonstrandum,no one else can really be happy either.

X,

I am actually one of those who has a "24/7 relationship with his Thai friend" and I could not be happier with it and think I am the luckiest guy in the world for it (others, who have never met either of us, probably think my partner is one of the unluckiest!).

It suits us - it may well not suit others, which is why I wholeheartedly support your view and your choice - if it makes both of you happy, for whatever reasons, it is a good relationship which you are lucky to have. Little more to be said.

[x in pattaya]

It suits us - it may well not suit other.

I am in some ways envious because there is something very appealing about that sort of relationship. When I first came to Thailand and started on a LT relationship that was what I was aiming for, but I began to realize I was trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Partly because of who I am and partly because of the nature of the sort of guys who appeal to me, it wasn't working and never would.

Anyway, I just find it continually amazing that when someone describes a relationship or partnership and says he is happy with it, there will always be someone who crawls out from under a rock to proclaim that that person is fooling himself or being fooled. He couldn't possibly be happy. He's got it all wrong... etc. And only the rock dweller can see things clearly.

It's no less annoying than to listen to "Rev" Rick Warren lecture people on the sinful nature of their relationships and how they need to change their ways to suit him and his coven of inspid followers.

Rick and Rev. CoffeeBreak are free to spew their opinions, and both are comedic in their own unintended ways,but there's no need to bend over and ask for more of the same.

Best thread here for ages. How long before the old biddies arrive?

X,

Believe me, it was pure luck, nothing more, and if others are half as happy in their relationships (whatever they may be) as I am in mine then they are very fortunate indeed - that does not mean that my particular "type" of relationship is any "better", just that it is better for us.

There are a couple of things (no more) that I would have chosen to do differently in my life (one primarily because it would have resulted in my being considerably wealthier!) but I have no regrets about not doing them as they would have meant that I would not have met my partner. When I mentioned this to him he simply looked at me as if I was being especially stupid and replied that of course we would have met, just in a different way, as it was "meant to be" - something so obvious to him that there was no point talking about it.

I call him my "partner" because, technically, that's what he is as we have a registered British Civil Partnership - meaningless in Thailand, but it ensures he has a pension from the UK. It is always difficult to know what to call your "other half" in a gay relationship (as Smiles can attest!), particularly when some countries have partnerships, some have marriages, and most have neither; it is not intended to make the relationship appear any more "meaningful" than any other term - although, inevitably, some have assumed that.

I am flattered that you are "envious", even if it is only "in some ways"! It feels nice to be envied, but I have only ever been envious of one person and that was a long time ago, at school, and it taught me that envy was just a lack of insight. I shared a room, only for one term, with a boy who was many (but by no means all!) of the things I was not: he was very good looking, fashionable, very popular with his peers and his superiors, came from one of Scotland's oldest and wealthiest families, was highly intelligent and excelled naturally at all sports (after school he won a double blue at Cambridge). At school I occasionally envied him when I had to work hard at things he found easy, but after we left I never thought about him again until, four or five years later, my mother sent me a press cutting about his suicide, as his drug addiction had progressed from mild recreational use to dominating his life.

Oh, and I can empathise 100% with your Thai boyfriend - I survive the Thai soaps, in limited doses, but not Thai comics, and being forced to watch American "comedies" on TV really would spell the swift end of even our relationship!!

[francois]

Personal rant about тАЬrelationshipsтАЭ and who you (are allowed to) find sexually appealing.

He, for example, plays football and takraw. No one wants to seriously contemplate me doing either. I enjoy watching some American & British mysteries & comedies on TV. He couldnтАЩt follow them and if he could he wouldnтАЩt find them interesting or funny. [.

I think you have been double-dating my bf! If I could write I would write same same as you X.

[quote="Gone Fishing":28mpb5cc]

It suits us - it may well not suit other.

I am in some ways envious because there is something very appealing about that sort of relationship. When I first came to Thailand and started on a LT relationship that was what I was aiming for, but I began to realize I was trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Partly because of who I am and partly because of the nature of the sort of guys who appeal to me, it wasn't working and never would.

Anyway, I just find it continually amazing that when someone describes a relationship or partnership or whatever you want to call it, and says he is happy with it, there will always be someone who crawls out from under a rock to proclaim that that person is, in fact, not happy. That he couldn't possibly be happy. That he's got it all wrong... etc.

It's no less annoying than to listen to "Rev" Rick Warren lecture people on the sinful nature of their relationships and how they need to change their ways to suit him and his coven of inspid followers.

Rick and Rev. CoffeeBreak are free to spew their opinions, and both are comedic in their own unintended ways,but there's no need to bend over and ask for more of the same.[/quote:28mpb5cc]

That was very well said Mr. X. I too have never believed there is any one way to do things. That a possible miracle of life, really, is that inspiration comes when least expected or maybe by accident.

[Smiles]

" ... He, for example, plays football and takraw. No one wants to seriously contemplate me doing either ... "
Well, certainly not Takraw at the very least. :blackeye:

I made a discovery just the other day about Mr Pot which I had no inkling of .... he knows how to play (and play well, apparently) the suicidal game of Takraw.
Guess I'll start to get into that now, the beach at Hua Hin being the best falling-on-one's-head landing area I can think of. Perhaps I'll graduate to concrete after a few lessons.


Mr X above passes on the excellent observation(s) that one man's bag isn't necessarily another's.
My personal take on this is simply 'in my genes' so to speak: i.e. on my very first trip to Thailand I attempted (valiantly) to fly the butterfly route. I succeeded for a week, a new experience and all that ... but soon realized it didn't make me happy, it lacked in joy, in fact it depressed me.
I envied those who sasheyed through the Paradise with a different Thai boy each night, but yet had no desire to throw a certain comfortable forlorn-ness away and copy them.

The Butterfly Effect, to a great extent, endows this Board a certain (and thankful) 'joie de vivre' which probably would not be present if all we ever read here revolved around descriptions of 'straightish' connubial bliss with their Thai lovers ... or those who desperately chase that arrangement.
By some odd twist of fate my guy and myself have found a pretty good thing together (yep, monogamous, faithful, honest ... all that stuff) but at the same time I greatly enjoy reading about the whole universe of Thai/farang relationships, from out and out white picket fence "marriage', to the frantic hedonism of sex with any Thai guy who moves.

Cheers ...

[elephantspike]

I was in my early 30s when I first went to Thailand 10 years ago, and could hold my own in a game of volleyball with Thai guys usually 10 or so years younger up to around my age. Tagraw I don't think is doable by any farang no matter how young. How can they kick that high?

[x in pattaya]

Mr Pot ... knows how to play (and play well, apparently) the suicidal game of Takraw.
Guess I'll start to get into that now, the beach at Hua Hin being the best falling-on-one's-head landing area I can think of. Perhaps I'll graduate to concrete after a few lessons.

Rather than turn the beach into a bloody scene of carnage, why not start out with these ...umm takraw specialists with their professional takraw equipment suited to middle-aged :drunken: novices. http://www.jumperballpit.com/picturesth210185/48267E.jpg



I greatly enjoy reading about ...the frantic hedonism of sex with any Thai guy who moves.

Once again too exclusionary. If you only include those who are conscious and able to move, i.e. flee,escape, one or two of our veteran posters would never have any companionship.

How long before the old biddies arrive?Are they here yet?

[Dodger]

x in Pattaya wrote:


But it is indeed a shrinking world and the judgmental old biddiesтАЩ reach is long enough to penetrate even ThailandтАЩs peace

You can say that again.

What I find amusing, is that these idiots don't evan realize how foolish they appear to those around them. They can usually be found perched at some central location in and amongst the night action, with their eyes darting from passerby to passerby in an attempt to categorize each of their victums in their little black books. Then, of course, comes the fun part, as they unleash all their inner frustrations in the form of complaints. And they take no prisoners. They simply start complaining about everything and everybody - totally oblivious to the fact that nobody really gives a fuck.

[x in pattaya]

You can compare my obnoxious rants to those of the imposter and see the difference. I am never brief and to the point when sputtering.

He who claims to be me wrote:


Ah, you're talking about vice and semi-legal businesses. Mafiosi knocking off mafiosi. It is not so common in legitimate business.You claim to have been involved in a legitimate business? But you're such a total asshole!

Beach Bunny is a kindred spirit. I'd never say that.


I have no friends.

There's a surprise.

[Smiles]

X-in-Pattycake dredging posts from a previous eon.
Actually this one is excellent for a discussion of Thai/Farang relationships . . . so you old biddies shape up and read it and get educated! Eh!

[x in pattaya]

X-in-Pattycake dredging posts from a previous eon.
Actually this one is excellent for a discussion of Thai/Farang relationships . . . so you old biddies shape up and read it and get educated! Eh!


Whenever I visit SGT and read a few posts, the expression "old biddies" comes to mind, or more colloquially, "demented narcissistic psychopaths."

Be it ever so humble ...



How long before the old biddies arrive?Are they here yet?


Yes, Colonel, they're here in force. Do they have high-speed Internet where you are now?

Guess I'll start to get into that now, the beach at Hua Hin being the best falling-on-one's-head landing area I can think of. Perhaps I'll graduate to concrete after a few lessons.


dont hurt yourself. it is not really a game for old biddies.