x in pattaya
February 6th, 2009, 17:51
Personal rant about тАЬrelationshipsтАЭ and who you (are allowed to) find sexually appealing.
One of the wonderful things about Thailand is that most of us are able to enjoy the sexual life that we found difficult to practice elsewhere, AND WE CAN DO IT WITHOUT JUDGMENTAL OLD BIDDIES TELLING US HOW WRONG WE ARE.
But it is indeed a shrinking world and the judgmental old biddiesтАЩ reach is long enough to penetrate even ThailandтАЩs peace.
http://www.sillyoldfarts.co.uk/images/OldLady1s.JPG
No doubt Noom is using you and has a wife or girlfriend etc lurking in the background which you are financing.
This is the problem with so many farang mugs who come to this town and throw bundles of cash at straight boys ...
How very Hedda-esque. If you like straight boys, you must be blind, gullible and a victim of the wiles of a very sophisticated, cunning boy whose cunning sophistry is only practiced by heterosexuals.
If you are a farang, especially those of us who have celebrated our 39th birthday more than once, and you have a favorite bar boy and/or have established a "relationship" with a younger Thai male, surely you can accept that they have had and will continue to have a life that extends beyond just the two of you ... just as presumably you have a life that doesn't include your Thai friend. If you care about each other, why would you want to deny each other that?
A few of you may have managed to construct a life where the two of you are together 24/7, but I have to believe that for many of us that would wear thin in time.
I doubt many of these "relationships" mirror the supposed model of straight connubial bliss, which is itself more myth than reality. Why should it? The dynamics and the goals arenтАЩt the same. Yet some of the vociferous advocates of тАЬauthenticтАЭ or тАЬ realтАЭ relationships will only accept the BreedersтАЩ Model that is largely a fantasy anyway.
I know of someone who does very nearly have the 24/7 relationship with his Thai friend. They both are happy with that. I'm happy for them, but I also know I couldn't handle it. I donтАЩt feel the need to mount a campaign attacking him just because heтАЩs happy with that sort of thing and I wouldnтАЩt be.
The "relationship" I have with my friend is defined by what suits us. We enjoy spending time together and we enjoy spending time apart. In fact we enjoy spending time together more because we spend some time apart. He doesnтАЩt force that on me. I insist on it for both our sakes.
When we are apart we do things that we wouldn't do together. I donтАЩt mean nasty secret things that we conceal from each other. I mean things that our different ages and cultural backgrounds and orientations make interesting to one of us and not to the other. He, for example, plays football and takraw. No one wants to seriously contemplate me doing either. I enjoy watching some American & British mysteries & comedies on TV. He couldnтАЩt follow them and if he could he wouldnтАЩt find them interesting or funny.
I sometimes take off a boy or two from the bars and he does whatever suits him. ItтАЩs not a betrayal of our relationship; itтАЩs a factor of our relationship. I would guess having sex outside the main relationship is fairly common in all supposed monogamous relationships, but usually done in secret тАж until one of the loving couple hires a private detective & a lawyer and buys a gun to facilitate their traditional loving dialogue.
Some guys love ladyboys. Some guys like very effeminate boys. Some like тАЬrough tradeтАЭ or bondage or leather or uniforms or S&M or chubby boys or bears or тАж
CanтАЩt see any of it myself, but if thatтАЩs you and youтАЩre happy, why would it bother me one way or the other? I prefer straight guys or those who are nearer the straight end of the continuum. I donтАЩt know why that causes some of the fragile personalities here to go into conniptions. Pretending IтАЩm turned on by something else just to be PC would mean hiding in another closet.
I suppose most of the straight guys who work in the bars or who can have sex with another man are somewhat bi, even if they donтАЩt recognize it. But I agree with cat when he said:
I find that most of the boys in the game are basically 'sexual' and can handle men women ladymen whatever comes their way. :cat:
IтАЩm getting exactly what I want from my LT friend and (usually) from the boys I off... and as often as I want it. I donтАЩt think IтАЩm turning them queer or that they wear chastity belts when weтАЩre apart. During my recent trip to Bangkok I had a massage at Senso with a gay boy and sex with a couple of straight guys from The Boys of Bangkok and (I think) Dream Boys. The gay guy was decidedly forgettable and the other two I wonтАЩt soon forget.
I donтАЩt throw any more money at straight boys than others throw at gay boys and if you think the (majority of) gay boys remain exclusively yours, you may be in for some unsettling news concerning Santa and the Tooth Fairy.
I remember Hedda used to lament how her endless chain of (gay) boyfriends proved unfaithful and broke her tiny, withered heart repeatedly. Her conclusion was that NO ONE could ever enjoy ANY THAI boy because she had failed to do so and therefore everyone else was deep in delusional territory.
CoffeeBreak, I fear, is also sexually frustrated and has thrown a bit too much money at his beloved multitude of gay boys, all of whom apparently had masses of unpaid lovers lurking in the wings. He writes a humorous parody, but if he himself isnтАЩt happy, he extrapolates that no one else can be. If he expected absolute fidelity and was disappointed, by extension everyone else is a victim of deception.
I hope he & Hedda can find whatever it is that will bring them happiness, but unless they're into necrophilia (which wouldnтАЩt be a total surprise), IтАЩm afraid their targets will always fall short of their high standards тАж and therefore, quod erat demonstrandum,no one else can really be happy either.
One of the wonderful things about Thailand is that most of us are able to enjoy the sexual life that we found difficult to practice elsewhere, AND WE CAN DO IT WITHOUT JUDGMENTAL OLD BIDDIES TELLING US HOW WRONG WE ARE.
But it is indeed a shrinking world and the judgmental old biddiesтАЩ reach is long enough to penetrate even ThailandтАЩs peace.
http://www.sillyoldfarts.co.uk/images/OldLady1s.JPG
No doubt Noom is using you and has a wife or girlfriend etc lurking in the background which you are financing.
This is the problem with so many farang mugs who come to this town and throw bundles of cash at straight boys ...
How very Hedda-esque. If you like straight boys, you must be blind, gullible and a victim of the wiles of a very sophisticated, cunning boy whose cunning sophistry is only practiced by heterosexuals.
If you are a farang, especially those of us who have celebrated our 39th birthday more than once, and you have a favorite bar boy and/or have established a "relationship" with a younger Thai male, surely you can accept that they have had and will continue to have a life that extends beyond just the two of you ... just as presumably you have a life that doesn't include your Thai friend. If you care about each other, why would you want to deny each other that?
A few of you may have managed to construct a life where the two of you are together 24/7, but I have to believe that for many of us that would wear thin in time.
I doubt many of these "relationships" mirror the supposed model of straight connubial bliss, which is itself more myth than reality. Why should it? The dynamics and the goals arenтАЩt the same. Yet some of the vociferous advocates of тАЬauthenticтАЭ or тАЬ realтАЭ relationships will only accept the BreedersтАЩ Model that is largely a fantasy anyway.
I know of someone who does very nearly have the 24/7 relationship with his Thai friend. They both are happy with that. I'm happy for them, but I also know I couldn't handle it. I donтАЩt feel the need to mount a campaign attacking him just because heтАЩs happy with that sort of thing and I wouldnтАЩt be.
The "relationship" I have with my friend is defined by what suits us. We enjoy spending time together and we enjoy spending time apart. In fact we enjoy spending time together more because we spend some time apart. He doesnтАЩt force that on me. I insist on it for both our sakes.
When we are apart we do things that we wouldn't do together. I donтАЩt mean nasty secret things that we conceal from each other. I mean things that our different ages and cultural backgrounds and orientations make interesting to one of us and not to the other. He, for example, plays football and takraw. No one wants to seriously contemplate me doing either. I enjoy watching some American & British mysteries & comedies on TV. He couldnтАЩt follow them and if he could he wouldnтАЩt find them interesting or funny.
I sometimes take off a boy or two from the bars and he does whatever suits him. ItтАЩs not a betrayal of our relationship; itтАЩs a factor of our relationship. I would guess having sex outside the main relationship is fairly common in all supposed monogamous relationships, but usually done in secret тАж until one of the loving couple hires a private detective & a lawyer and buys a gun to facilitate their traditional loving dialogue.
Some guys love ladyboys. Some guys like very effeminate boys. Some like тАЬrough tradeтАЭ or bondage or leather or uniforms or S&M or chubby boys or bears or тАж
CanтАЩt see any of it myself, but if thatтАЩs you and youтАЩre happy, why would it bother me one way or the other? I prefer straight guys or those who are nearer the straight end of the continuum. I donтАЩt know why that causes some of the fragile personalities here to go into conniptions. Pretending IтАЩm turned on by something else just to be PC would mean hiding in another closet.
I suppose most of the straight guys who work in the bars or who can have sex with another man are somewhat bi, even if they donтАЩt recognize it. But I agree with cat when he said:
I find that most of the boys in the game are basically 'sexual' and can handle men women ladymen whatever comes their way. :cat:
IтАЩm getting exactly what I want from my LT friend and (usually) from the boys I off... and as often as I want it. I donтАЩt think IтАЩm turning them queer or that they wear chastity belts when weтАЩre apart. During my recent trip to Bangkok I had a massage at Senso with a gay boy and sex with a couple of straight guys from The Boys of Bangkok and (I think) Dream Boys. The gay guy was decidedly forgettable and the other two I wonтАЩt soon forget.
I donтАЩt throw any more money at straight boys than others throw at gay boys and if you think the (majority of) gay boys remain exclusively yours, you may be in for some unsettling news concerning Santa and the Tooth Fairy.
I remember Hedda used to lament how her endless chain of (gay) boyfriends proved unfaithful and broke her tiny, withered heart repeatedly. Her conclusion was that NO ONE could ever enjoy ANY THAI boy because she had failed to do so and therefore everyone else was deep in delusional territory.
CoffeeBreak, I fear, is also sexually frustrated and has thrown a bit too much money at his beloved multitude of gay boys, all of whom apparently had masses of unpaid lovers lurking in the wings. He writes a humorous parody, but if he himself isnтАЩt happy, he extrapolates that no one else can be. If he expected absolute fidelity and was disappointed, by extension everyone else is a victim of deception.
I hope he & Hedda can find whatever it is that will bring them happiness, but unless they're into necrophilia (which wouldnтАЩt be a total surprise), IтАЩm afraid their targets will always fall short of their high standards тАж and therefore, quod erat demonstrandum,no one else can really be happy either.