Smiles
February 1st, 2009, 14:12
THE MISUNDERSTANDING
Being in a long-term/live-in relationship with a Thai man pretty well guarantees that sometime along the winding road there will some kind of mini upheaval regarding nuances and just-plain-misundertandings of the Thai interpretation of english language craziness. I say "Thai interpretation" as these misunderstandings are almost always his about English, rather than mine about Thai. It's a bit of a one-way street on this level, as he speaks quite good english, and I speak next to no Thai.
I'm not particularly proud of this lopsidedness, but it is what it is: one of these days I'll make a greater effort, but right now, our communications are all in english.
But we have this little agreement, and we've had it forever: if there's some english word or phrase he doesn't understand, just don't sit there, say something! We have our Thai/English dictionary always at hand, and in most instances have made heavy use of it over the years . . . the proof being that it's so flipped-through that it's days are now numbered.
We have this understanding mostly because of 'relationship-speak' ... that odd, difficult, often uncomfortable, but essential language between two people determined to work through the ups and downs of a committed relationship, rather than (possibly) watch things slowly deteriorate simply because 'things' are not talked through.
This technique has worked wonders for us (not in small part because of his good english, and better instincts) so many times . . . but not THIS time . . .
. . . The other day we were getting into a bit of a row about some thoughts I had about the way he conducts his tour guide business. The (quite short) conversation went something like this:
ME: "Don't forget to put the extra pillows in the back seat for your customers" (BACKGROUND: His pickup truck has one of those small back seats which are not nearlly as comfortable as the front passenger seat, so he adds ~ at my suggestion ~ a few extra plush pillows for the folks who end up in the back, especially on long trips. At first he didn't think they were important and, surprisingly to me, it took him quite a long time to come around to the concept).
HIM: "No need, Thai lady is sitting in the back"
ME: "But that doesn't matter, she's a customer"
HIM: "No, she Thai lady. Back seat is comfortable for her"
ME: "So how do you know that? Are you sure?"
Anyway ... as you can see, there is a real difference of opinion about 'customer service' between the two of us. It drives me a bit crazy ... (but of course, it's mostly about the original idea of the pillows-as-service theme (mine) which we argued about so long ago. Which I 'won': i.e. Thai loses small amount of face).
After the argument about that, I said something along the lines of:
ME: "You know, it's really important that we discuss stuff like this"
HIM: "Why you use this word to me?"
ME: "What word?"
HIM: "This is a very bad word to me. Why do you use this word?"
ME (non-plussed): "What word are you taking about?"
HIM: "Discuss"
ME: "Discuss? That's not a bad word. We use it all the time"
HIM: "No. This is a very bad word against other people"
ME: (Inside ... think Dave, think. :scratch: What word could he be thinking of? We've 'discussed' things a million times over the years. How many times have I asked him to 'discuss' something? More importantly, how many times hasn't he asked us to 'discuss' something? I'm getting it now ...)
ME (lightbulb!): "Do you mean 'disgust'?"
HIM: "Yes, 'discussed' "
ME: "Ohhhhh, where's that dictionary!"
So, as you can well imagine, here was one single little word which, when heard by him brought up thoughts which I knew nothing about . . . for years. He had said nothing (because he was thinking he was hearing correctly) and I had no idea it was being taken with such obvious (now!) bewilderment.
Between two people, with so many different cultural and language barriers, making a life . . . giant misunderstandings can be crafted from so little, and often discovered through pure serendipity (which seems so often to be gently guiding our life together): he decided to ~ for some reason, that particular morning in Hua Hin, when he never ever had before ~ confront me with a slight/no slight.
HEARTS OF DARKNESS: FALLING IN
Thailand confronts we farang on so many levels: some quite hifalutin moral quandries (see: Burmese boat people), but just as many low and mundane issues: such as the ubiquitous Thailand sidewalk sewer cover.
These puppies cannot be ignored. Being large (just large enough to engulf a medium sized human being) and very numerous (i.e. every 12 feet), they define 'walking' . . . that is to say, they make it humanly impossible to actually walk a straight line on any given sidewalk, unless of course one is willing to blithely step on some of the most precarious slabs of killer concrete ever to be seen sitting merrily right there under one's foot. Ready to snatch you into the dark of Dantes unknown.
Hua Hin has at least as many of these ugly monsters, and in such a variety of 'quality' levels, as any other place in the land. But familiarity breeds a photo story (as they say), and this is my home town, so here below displayed is the sewer-cover journal of my sewer encounters: walk and enjoy your rambles through this sweet little oasis of sun and sand (see further below), but be afraid! Be VERY afraid!!!
The quintessential feature of the HH sidewalk sewer-cover is the ever-present possibility of Disastrous Encounter (AKA: 'D.E.'). A cement sewer-cover in Thailand is, by nature, timed to begin rapid deterioration within two weeks of birth.
This baby was laid down (by dozens of workers, over a week of holes impassable) in September. Sewer-cover rot has started already. It's beginning to get that "should I, or shouldn't I" look when approached. Up to now I courageously walk right over (and on) it (only a tiny niggling a-happenin'), but I suspect that will change by next September ... it being the grand old age of one by then.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0256_resize.jpg
This ghastly 'D.E.' is helped into an even worse danger by a square piece of drywall which has been thoughtfully placed over the largest part of a gaping hole. Have you ever stepped on, with full weight, a piece of drywall suspended over, well, nothing? It snaps in half REAL EASY.
Whoever put it there had the best intentions really, after all they also stuffed in below the drywall what appears to be the remnants of an old outdoor coffee table. This may give some strength to the drywall ... I didn't test it.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0238_resize.jpg
Then there's my favourite for it's camouflaged possibilities. Looking in much better repair than many, it's seems on the face of it that it would be easy to not fall head over heels. But tell that to a runner, at night (and lots of them run along this main street in the evening. Or to obese farangs who walk along here in droves ... worrying so much about not falling over simply because the lay of the land is not exactly level, they neglect half-ton obstacles (like giant trees and unyeilding cement electric poles) sitting squarely in their tracks.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0239_resize.jpg
And then there's the "let's-lift-this-one-up-and-put-a-pipe-under-it-and-just-leave-it-for-three-weeks-(and counting)" factor. This one has been a litmus test of time trials: I've passed by here every day for nearly a month waiting for 'something to happen'. Nothing has.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0237_resize.jpg
Something has been planned here (I'm sure), but the plans seem to have been lost. That giant mouth-like structure seems to be a kind of drainage canal, but ... it slopes upwards! Instead of water draining into, and under, the accompanying sewer cover, it has become a garbage facilty for the construction workers next door, chock-a-block full of assorted ghastly things and their plastic wrappers ... all to be conveniently washed into the sewer during the next tsunami, whenever that occurs.
The sewer-cover is no screaming hell either.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0236_resize.jpg
This mouldering cover has seen better days, but is not in too bad a condition. It's a major tripper though as it sits right in front of the curb ... a very high curb which causes farang ladies (never light on their feet to begin with, and all in a debilitating state of perpetual confusion with Thailand in general) to have to lift their skirts when they attempt to climb it. This causes them to momentarily lose sight of the sidewalk and the dangers that lurk on their next step that they invariably trip forward over the cover. I've seen it many times ... in fact, it's a good way to spend a lazy day in the bar right next to the sewer-cover watching the general exasperation.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0232_resize.jpg
And then .... if they actually see the sewer-cover trap and make a quick move to the left, they're confronted by a equal disaster: a gaping hole in the sidewalk brickwork big enough to swallow a 150 pound Fraulein, and a man-eating macaque monkey (who lives there) ready to pounce on the unwary.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0231_resize.jpg
The 'King of the Upheaved'. An amazingly tilted sewer-cover which reminds me of a number of photos I saw taken directly after in the aftermath of the Osaka earthquake.
This is a classic tripper-upper, preying on night runners, moon watchers, the drug addled, motorbikes taking a shortcut, and farang head-turners tryng to keep their eye on a passing Thai guy's gorgoeous ass. They all deserve their fate, and I'll bet the Hua Hin Public Works Dept. boss agrees with me.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0235_resize.jpg
The 'Stealth Tripper' cover: Innocuous, seemingly harmless, one side partially lifted ... a sidewinder under a rock, a sleeping crocodile. More dangerous than the 'Gaper', by far.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0230_resize.jpg
Waiting for high heeled Hi-So farangs is this baby's 'raison d'etre'. It has no other attribute other than to wait for prey, especially at night. This sucker will take your whole leg and beg for more ... and if those high heels are on a guy's foot he'll dig his task all that more. The cement lid is balanced so that once your leg is more than 6 inches in, one side falls off and thus crashes down onto the victims head on the way down. A terrible way to go.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0233_resize.jpg
And pictured below lies perfection in the ubiquitous Thai sidewalk sewer-cover: a true representative of the architechtural Golden Mean (yes, just like the Acropolis), in fact four of them . . . exquisitely flat surface, edges carrying seamlessly through to the surrounding pavement. Nothing to trip over, or fall through. No toe-stubbing properties, no jagged edges, no assault to the aesthetic sensibilities of the gay tourist ~ in essence, the quintessentially non-problematical manhole cover: the best one found in Hua Hin. (Well, for six months anyway).
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0254_resize.jpg
SAND
Hua Hin is blessed not only with quite clean, swimmable water, but by 6 miles or so of the most lovely sand 'type' I've ever come across on a 'city' beach. Because the beach really does straddle a reasonably large Thai town city it's all the more interesting that the sand quality and texture here is much better than the many secluded beaches to the south ... heads and shoulders above that in Jomtien (with it's gritty mixture of 'some-kind-of' sand and just plain dirt).
The sand here is clean, white, infinitely playable, deliciously rock free, thankfully innocent of that "what the hell's that!?" feeling one often gets when digging one's feet into the sand at ocean's edge.
A long shot of Hua Hin Beach looking north towards town. The Stroll here is extremely popular: walking arm in arm with chosen guy or girl the length of the beach's great crescent ... if farang, the wife all agog ... if Thai, the girl bored silly (substiture 'wife/girl' for 'boyfriend/off' if you wish). Runners (Thai & farang) up and down the sand, with or without runners ("never run without runners you idiot" I like to shout).
They all cruise along this lovely beach ... because of the sand, and how sensual and happy it feels to the foot.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0248_resize.jpg
Close up of Hua Hin sand at dusk. A lovely darkling greyish pinkish aura drifts over it as the sun starts to go down. The footprints (and hoof tracks) of a thousand strollers stay etched in ... but the following morning they're all gone, the sand then hard and clean and flat as a squeaky new pane of glass. A few hours later it's a new rug, ready to be stamped on by the same feet.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0251_resize.jpg
The texture (when slightly damp, and a bit cool) of the Hua Hin sand is amazingly soothing. It's almost impossible to resist running it through your toes ... tough to not get down on your knees and do 'something' with it, like lifting it so it slides through your figures (like a clock), like covering yourself up to the knees (or more) like a Thai kid, like playing football with your love (and Thai kids), like burying your 'Singha yai' in it to keep it cool.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0250_resize.jpg
Sure love this place ... sewer covers, dictionaries, sand et al.
Cheers ...
Being in a long-term/live-in relationship with a Thai man pretty well guarantees that sometime along the winding road there will some kind of mini upheaval regarding nuances and just-plain-misundertandings of the Thai interpretation of english language craziness. I say "Thai interpretation" as these misunderstandings are almost always his about English, rather than mine about Thai. It's a bit of a one-way street on this level, as he speaks quite good english, and I speak next to no Thai.
I'm not particularly proud of this lopsidedness, but it is what it is: one of these days I'll make a greater effort, but right now, our communications are all in english.
But we have this little agreement, and we've had it forever: if there's some english word or phrase he doesn't understand, just don't sit there, say something! We have our Thai/English dictionary always at hand, and in most instances have made heavy use of it over the years . . . the proof being that it's so flipped-through that it's days are now numbered.
We have this understanding mostly because of 'relationship-speak' ... that odd, difficult, often uncomfortable, but essential language between two people determined to work through the ups and downs of a committed relationship, rather than (possibly) watch things slowly deteriorate simply because 'things' are not talked through.
This technique has worked wonders for us (not in small part because of his good english, and better instincts) so many times . . . but not THIS time . . .
. . . The other day we were getting into a bit of a row about some thoughts I had about the way he conducts his tour guide business. The (quite short) conversation went something like this:
ME: "Don't forget to put the extra pillows in the back seat for your customers" (BACKGROUND: His pickup truck has one of those small back seats which are not nearlly as comfortable as the front passenger seat, so he adds ~ at my suggestion ~ a few extra plush pillows for the folks who end up in the back, especially on long trips. At first he didn't think they were important and, surprisingly to me, it took him quite a long time to come around to the concept).
HIM: "No need, Thai lady is sitting in the back"
ME: "But that doesn't matter, she's a customer"
HIM: "No, she Thai lady. Back seat is comfortable for her"
ME: "So how do you know that? Are you sure?"
Anyway ... as you can see, there is a real difference of opinion about 'customer service' between the two of us. It drives me a bit crazy ... (but of course, it's mostly about the original idea of the pillows-as-service theme (mine) which we argued about so long ago. Which I 'won': i.e. Thai loses small amount of face).
After the argument about that, I said something along the lines of:
ME: "You know, it's really important that we discuss stuff like this"
HIM: "Why you use this word to me?"
ME: "What word?"
HIM: "This is a very bad word to me. Why do you use this word?"
ME (non-plussed): "What word are you taking about?"
HIM: "Discuss"
ME: "Discuss? That's not a bad word. We use it all the time"
HIM: "No. This is a very bad word against other people"
ME: (Inside ... think Dave, think. :scratch: What word could he be thinking of? We've 'discussed' things a million times over the years. How many times have I asked him to 'discuss' something? More importantly, how many times hasn't he asked us to 'discuss' something? I'm getting it now ...)
ME (lightbulb!): "Do you mean 'disgust'?"
HIM: "Yes, 'discussed' "
ME: "Ohhhhh, where's that dictionary!"
So, as you can well imagine, here was one single little word which, when heard by him brought up thoughts which I knew nothing about . . . for years. He had said nothing (because he was thinking he was hearing correctly) and I had no idea it was being taken with such obvious (now!) bewilderment.
Between two people, with so many different cultural and language barriers, making a life . . . giant misunderstandings can be crafted from so little, and often discovered through pure serendipity (which seems so often to be gently guiding our life together): he decided to ~ for some reason, that particular morning in Hua Hin, when he never ever had before ~ confront me with a slight/no slight.
HEARTS OF DARKNESS: FALLING IN
Thailand confronts we farang on so many levels: some quite hifalutin moral quandries (see: Burmese boat people), but just as many low and mundane issues: such as the ubiquitous Thailand sidewalk sewer cover.
These puppies cannot be ignored. Being large (just large enough to engulf a medium sized human being) and very numerous (i.e. every 12 feet), they define 'walking' . . . that is to say, they make it humanly impossible to actually walk a straight line on any given sidewalk, unless of course one is willing to blithely step on some of the most precarious slabs of killer concrete ever to be seen sitting merrily right there under one's foot. Ready to snatch you into the dark of Dantes unknown.
Hua Hin has at least as many of these ugly monsters, and in such a variety of 'quality' levels, as any other place in the land. But familiarity breeds a photo story (as they say), and this is my home town, so here below displayed is the sewer-cover journal of my sewer encounters: walk and enjoy your rambles through this sweet little oasis of sun and sand (see further below), but be afraid! Be VERY afraid!!!
The quintessential feature of the HH sidewalk sewer-cover is the ever-present possibility of Disastrous Encounter (AKA: 'D.E.'). A cement sewer-cover in Thailand is, by nature, timed to begin rapid deterioration within two weeks of birth.
This baby was laid down (by dozens of workers, over a week of holes impassable) in September. Sewer-cover rot has started already. It's beginning to get that "should I, or shouldn't I" look when approached. Up to now I courageously walk right over (and on) it (only a tiny niggling a-happenin'), but I suspect that will change by next September ... it being the grand old age of one by then.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0256_resize.jpg
This ghastly 'D.E.' is helped into an even worse danger by a square piece of drywall which has been thoughtfully placed over the largest part of a gaping hole. Have you ever stepped on, with full weight, a piece of drywall suspended over, well, nothing? It snaps in half REAL EASY.
Whoever put it there had the best intentions really, after all they also stuffed in below the drywall what appears to be the remnants of an old outdoor coffee table. This may give some strength to the drywall ... I didn't test it.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0238_resize.jpg
Then there's my favourite for it's camouflaged possibilities. Looking in much better repair than many, it's seems on the face of it that it would be easy to not fall head over heels. But tell that to a runner, at night (and lots of them run along this main street in the evening. Or to obese farangs who walk along here in droves ... worrying so much about not falling over simply because the lay of the land is not exactly level, they neglect half-ton obstacles (like giant trees and unyeilding cement electric poles) sitting squarely in their tracks.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0239_resize.jpg
And then there's the "let's-lift-this-one-up-and-put-a-pipe-under-it-and-just-leave-it-for-three-weeks-(and counting)" factor. This one has been a litmus test of time trials: I've passed by here every day for nearly a month waiting for 'something to happen'. Nothing has.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0237_resize.jpg
Something has been planned here (I'm sure), but the plans seem to have been lost. That giant mouth-like structure seems to be a kind of drainage canal, but ... it slopes upwards! Instead of water draining into, and under, the accompanying sewer cover, it has become a garbage facilty for the construction workers next door, chock-a-block full of assorted ghastly things and their plastic wrappers ... all to be conveniently washed into the sewer during the next tsunami, whenever that occurs.
The sewer-cover is no screaming hell either.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0236_resize.jpg
This mouldering cover has seen better days, but is not in too bad a condition. It's a major tripper though as it sits right in front of the curb ... a very high curb which causes farang ladies (never light on their feet to begin with, and all in a debilitating state of perpetual confusion with Thailand in general) to have to lift their skirts when they attempt to climb it. This causes them to momentarily lose sight of the sidewalk and the dangers that lurk on their next step that they invariably trip forward over the cover. I've seen it many times ... in fact, it's a good way to spend a lazy day in the bar right next to the sewer-cover watching the general exasperation.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0232_resize.jpg
And then .... if they actually see the sewer-cover trap and make a quick move to the left, they're confronted by a equal disaster: a gaping hole in the sidewalk brickwork big enough to swallow a 150 pound Fraulein, and a man-eating macaque monkey (who lives there) ready to pounce on the unwary.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0231_resize.jpg
The 'King of the Upheaved'. An amazingly tilted sewer-cover which reminds me of a number of photos I saw taken directly after in the aftermath of the Osaka earthquake.
This is a classic tripper-upper, preying on night runners, moon watchers, the drug addled, motorbikes taking a shortcut, and farang head-turners tryng to keep their eye on a passing Thai guy's gorgoeous ass. They all deserve their fate, and I'll bet the Hua Hin Public Works Dept. boss agrees with me.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0235_resize.jpg
The 'Stealth Tripper' cover: Innocuous, seemingly harmless, one side partially lifted ... a sidewinder under a rock, a sleeping crocodile. More dangerous than the 'Gaper', by far.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0230_resize.jpg
Waiting for high heeled Hi-So farangs is this baby's 'raison d'etre'. It has no other attribute other than to wait for prey, especially at night. This sucker will take your whole leg and beg for more ... and if those high heels are on a guy's foot he'll dig his task all that more. The cement lid is balanced so that once your leg is more than 6 inches in, one side falls off and thus crashes down onto the victims head on the way down. A terrible way to go.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0233_resize.jpg
And pictured below lies perfection in the ubiquitous Thai sidewalk sewer-cover: a true representative of the architechtural Golden Mean (yes, just like the Acropolis), in fact four of them . . . exquisitely flat surface, edges carrying seamlessly through to the surrounding pavement. Nothing to trip over, or fall through. No toe-stubbing properties, no jagged edges, no assault to the aesthetic sensibilities of the gay tourist ~ in essence, the quintessentially non-problematical manhole cover: the best one found in Hua Hin. (Well, for six months anyway).
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0254_resize.jpg
SAND
Hua Hin is blessed not only with quite clean, swimmable water, but by 6 miles or so of the most lovely sand 'type' I've ever come across on a 'city' beach. Because the beach really does straddle a reasonably large Thai town city it's all the more interesting that the sand quality and texture here is much better than the many secluded beaches to the south ... heads and shoulders above that in Jomtien (with it's gritty mixture of 'some-kind-of' sand and just plain dirt).
The sand here is clean, white, infinitely playable, deliciously rock free, thankfully innocent of that "what the hell's that!?" feeling one often gets when digging one's feet into the sand at ocean's edge.
A long shot of Hua Hin Beach looking north towards town. The Stroll here is extremely popular: walking arm in arm with chosen guy or girl the length of the beach's great crescent ... if farang, the wife all agog ... if Thai, the girl bored silly (substiture 'wife/girl' for 'boyfriend/off' if you wish). Runners (Thai & farang) up and down the sand, with or without runners ("never run without runners you idiot" I like to shout).
They all cruise along this lovely beach ... because of the sand, and how sensual and happy it feels to the foot.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0248_resize.jpg
Close up of Hua Hin sand at dusk. A lovely darkling greyish pinkish aura drifts over it as the sun starts to go down. The footprints (and hoof tracks) of a thousand strollers stay etched in ... but the following morning they're all gone, the sand then hard and clean and flat as a squeaky new pane of glass. A few hours later it's a new rug, ready to be stamped on by the same feet.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0251_resize.jpg
The texture (when slightly damp, and a bit cool) of the Hua Hin sand is amazingly soothing. It's almost impossible to resist running it through your toes ... tough to not get down on your knees and do 'something' with it, like lifting it so it slides through your figures (like a clock), like covering yourself up to the knees (or more) like a Thai kid, like playing football with your love (and Thai kids), like burying your 'Singha yai' in it to keep it cool.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Personal/IMG_0250_resize.jpg
Sure love this place ... sewer covers, dictionaries, sand et al.
Cheers ...