Feeling self concious in LOS

I'm only(?) in my mid thirties, yet, being one who lusts after the younger teenage (18+) male, I often feel self concious being an older falang walking around with a younger Thai boy on my arm. I try not to show it, and desperatly try to have a careless attitude, (I'm in LOS, everyone's at it aren't they?) I still feel like the world is looking and pointing at the stupid, disilusioned felang.

Am I the only one who thinks like this? And if I feel like this in my mid thirties, what's it like being older and walking around with a much younger Thai on your arm? I know that as you get older, you just don't care as much what others think, but surely it must still be an issue in the back of your mind? Is it? ... Isn't it?

[Bob]

I'm only(?) in my mid thirties, yet, being one who lusts after the younger teenage (18+) male, I often feel self concious being an older falang walking around with a younger Thai boy on my arm. I try not to show it, and desperatly try to have a careless attitude, (I'm in LOS, everyone's at it aren't they?) I still feel like the world is looking and pointing at the stupid, disilusioned felang.

Am I the only one who thinks like this? And if I feel like this in my mid thirties, what's it like being older and walking around with a much younger Thai on your arm? I know that as you get older, you just don't care as much what others think, but surely it must still be an issue in the back of your mind? Is it? ... Isn't it?

An honest statement and, yes, I've been concerned about it before (but eventually I just got over it and don't think about it much anymore). I'm so used to seeing it in the Land of Smiles that I guess I normally don't react to it at all (but, to be honest, you wouldn't want to read my mind when I occasionally see some really old geezer with a 20-year old - but, at least I'm fair about it, I have the same thoughts when I see a straight couple in the same situation). Yea, it's weird a little and quite contrary to how many of us westerners are raised to believe is right or appropriate.

Not sure what you should do about it, guess that's up to you and your personal value system. I've gotten to the point where it's fairly irrelevant to me (although on rare occasion I feel sorry for my bf as he's half my age! haha).

I can get over the self-consciousness for the time it takes to walk from the bar to a short-time hotel. I do not have a desire to walk with (or be with) a teenager any further than that, as I have absolutely nothing in common with them and nothing to talk about.

[francois]

I know that as you get older, you just don't care as much what others think, but surely it must still be an issue in the back of your mind? Is it? ... Isn't it?

Just how do you know, as you get older, you don't care? It is even more embarrassant , which is why I put the "off" on a motorbike. And I do recoil when a young guy holds my hand.

Call me Grand-p├иre Francois, mon petit gars (maroonedmind)

For me it doesn't matter if they are my age, half my age or 36% of my age male or dare I say it female I have never been comfortable with public displays of affection. Over the years I have become more comfortable with other peoples public displays of affection but doubt if I will ever be totally comfortable with it.

Will you become less self conscious as you age - probably but by how much no one can say as there are so many factors eg will the boys you go for always be half your age or will the age gap keep increasing, would you feel as self conscious in your home town with a boy half your age or is it just in Thailand.

Am I worried, concerned or uncomfortable with being uncomfortable with public displays of affection - no - I just inwardly cringe and then just get on with whatever I was doing.

cheers
Brian

(if Francois is Grandfarther then call me great uncle Brian lol)

[kjun12]

Sometime I did feel uncomfortable in this situation. I wondered what the people around me, particularly the average Thai people, think of this situation. I now have a boyfriend who is 41 so it is not a problem but, there was a time when I was sporting around with a younger boy and I did, at least, feel silly or embarrassed. At your age I would not worry.

Me too. I've tried walking around the back streets & picking a guest house or hotel near to the bars....
Then there was walking back to the Ambience on the raised pavement past the watching audience during the street shows in Dec 2007. Still, I figured my latest new friend looked better than anything on the stage.

Just get on with it & don't give a damn what anyone thinks.

[joe552]

I still feel self-conscious, especially outside of Pattaya, but I try never to let it show, and since I've never seen or felt an overt hostile reaction, I figure the problem is mine - I honestly don't know how the average Thai person feels about a 50s farang with a 20s guy and probably never will. I try not to let my self-consciousness ruin my enjoyment though.

I still feel self-conscious, especially outside of PattayaI've never had a problem here in Pattaya I have to say.

I use to feel somewhat self conscious until I realized what others think doesn't really matter.

This realization came to me one day in the Big C mall. I was shopping with the boy friend who is 33 years younger than me.

A touristy dressed older falang was sitting on a bench and gave me a look of utter disgust and contempt when he spotted us. Just as I was about to say something sarcastic it dawned on me it didn't make a bit of difference what he or others thought. Instead I just smiled and then chuckled a bit when I noticed the very young bar girl he was with. To each his own.

[psd1315]

I was in Udon with my boyfriend who was 22 at the time, I was 47. I had flown his mother and sister back to Issan from Chang Mai since they had never been in an airplane. We were all staying the large hotel there in 2 separate rooms. As the four us us rode down in the elevator a middle-aged Thai businessman got on with us, smiled and said in English тАЬwhat a nice family your have тАЭ Then my boyfriend began to laughтАж and ever sinceтАж. His sister call me тАЬGrandfatherтАЭ

As a former escort myselfтАж I was often with older men shopping clerks in La Jolla and many other places also said to me тАЬ you have a very nice fatherтАЭ I always smiled and said thank you. But now as thenтАжтАжтАжI am very self conscience of what others think regarding the age differences.

I always find it amazing that people still care what others think of them

[Patexpat]

I put the "off" on a motorbike. And I do recoil when a young guy holds my hand.

Call me Grand-p├иre Francois, mon petit gars

But you are happy to bonk his brains out? I think this speaks volumes more about your self guilt rather than anything else. Having said that, a lot depends on whether you are talking about an 'off' or a real boyfriend. My bf loves to discreetly show affection, especially in gay friendly areas and would be most upset if I refuted him! But yeah, a bar boy with his overnight bag over his shoulder gives the game away I guess..... personally as long as the behaviour is polite and discrete by Thai standards, Thais and the vast majority of foreign residents won't care (in Pattaya, anyway!). And who cares what people passing through think?

My bf ... would be most upset if I refuted him! reтЛЕfute
тАУverb (used with object)
1. to prove to be false or erroneous, as an opinion or charge.
2. to prove (a person) to be in error.

[Wesley]

I was obviously concerned when a recent date of only 18 was in the malls and on the street with his arms all around me holding on to me like he would some school friend of his here in such a Catholic city. He coming from a good family of well to do doctors, I worried that he might inflict some bad thoughts on the people who may see us. So, as I mentioned it to him he said they just think we are friends nothing more. However, I am not sure in LOS they would think we were friends nothing more. It is the Central Asian and SE Asian way of treating a good friend and when I first saw it my self 12 years ago in Kyrgyzstan my first instinct was that they must be gay. My friend and then Interpreter was quick to tell me that it is the norm there and only westerners have the hang-ups which we consider as every day friendship. I would think it would depend on where, if in the rural area maybe just friends but, if you just left the BBB area. I would say they are thinking yet another Money boy and his money friend.

I DO tend to think differently about open affection when in another country, I will be leaving he has to live there, so I leave it up to Him to make any move of affection and think nothing about it if he does. However, I keep in mind that I can leave but he has to stay and he has to put up with the local gossip not me. As to other farang seeing me, I could care less. When they begin to pay my bills then I might give a shit what they think.

All the best!

Wes