CHANGE Straight to Gay

Many times in the past I met older guys who told me that they were married 20-30years long with a wife and having adult children. Now they are GAY and like to be more bottom and/or they love to play with young boys.
Is there anybody who can explain me this change? When did the change started or how did you feel and recognised it? How comes? What takes someone so long to be and live gay? Was it the law the time or did you live a second secret gay life. Many open question as you see
Good time to talk about CHANGE during these days.
Feel free to PM me too if you donтАЩt like to post the answer public.

Many times in the past I met older guys who told me that they were married 20-30years long with a wife and having adult children. Now they are GAY and like to be more bottom and/or they love to play with young boys.
Is there anybody who can explain me this change? When did the change started or how did you feel and recognised it? How comes? What takes someone so long to be and live gay? Was it the law the time or did you live a second secret gay life. Many open question as you see
Good time to talk about CHANGE during these days.
Feel free to PM me too if you donтАЩt like to post the answer public.

I often wonder that if there had never been any taboos about same sex relationships (religious or otherwise) and it was quite acceptable for people to have both hetro and homosexual relationships; there might be less heartache caused by some people having difficulties coming to terms with who or what they are. Going back to pre '70s (or even today) in certain countries gays might well have got married to please family and to try to hide from their true sexual feelings.

Many times in the past I met older guys who told me that they were married 20-30years long with a wife and having adult children. Now they are GAY and like to be more bottom and/or they love to play with young boys.
Is there anybody who can explain me this change? When did the change started or how did you feel and recognised it? How comes? What takes someone so long to be and live gay? Was it the law the time or did you live a second secret gay life. Many open question as you see
Good time to talk about CHANGE during these days.
Feel free to PM me too if you donтАЩt like to post the answer public.


The short answer is that all these guys have ALWAYS been gay but for most of their life they had to hide being gay. They got married and had kids because that is what they were expected to do. In the past 20, 30, 40 years ago you could not be out and gay you were expected to get married and have kids. Now people can be more open and 'out of the closet' these men can finally be happy being what they really are and always had been but had to keep secret.

I hope that answer helps.

р╕зр╕┤р╕Чр╕вр╣М

I often wonder that if there had never been any taboos about same sex relationships (religious or otherwise) and it was quite acceptable for people to have both hetro and homosexual relationships; there might be less heartache ...

The world would definitely have been a much better place if we had been more real and logical about sex, sexuality, love and lust then so damn hung up about it. Probably if there was no religion then we'd be a much more advanced and enlightened race IMHO.

р╕зр╕┤р╕Чр╕вр╣М

The short answer is that all these guys have ALWAYS been gay but for most of their life they had to hide being gay. They got married and had kids because that is what they were expected to do. In the past 20, 30, 40 years ago you could not be out and gay you were expected to get married and have kids. Now people can be more open and 'out of the closet' these men can finally be happy being what they really are and always had been but had to keep secret.

I hope that answer helps.

р╕зр╕┤р╕Чр╕вр╣М

How true you are ,I had lived with a woman for more than 20 years to hide it, Even having a child ,It exactly how you said it...


and like to be more bottom and/or they love to play with young boys.

But thats not the case 18+ and law in this country is 16 , and im vers,but prefering to be top

But thats not the case 18+ and law in this country is 16 , and im vers,but prefering to be top

I thought the AOC in Thailand was 18, where is it at 16? Australia?

р╕зр╕┤р╕Чр╕вр╣М

But thats not the case 18+ and law in this country is 16 , and im vers,but prefering to be top

I thought the AOC in Thailand was 18, where is it at 16? Australia?
yes age of consent is 16 in australia

But thats not the case 18+ and law in this country is 16 , and im vers,but prefering to be top

I thought the AOC in Thailand was 18, where is it at 16? Australia?

The age of consent in Thailand is 15 as specified by article 279 of the Thai Criminal Code. The current legislation applies to all regardless of gender and/or sexual orientation, although it is a common misconception that it applies only to women.

However parts of the Prevention and Suppression of Prostitution Act which disallow any sexual contact with prostitutes under the age of 18, are widely interpreted by some local authorities to cover sexual acts classed as "obscenity for personal gratification". Also from the Penal Code Amendment Act of 1997 Section 283bis, having sex with a child under 18 is a compoundable offense even with the consent of that person. The parent or the child may file charges against the other side if he or she later regrets his or her own action. This ostensibly makes the Thai unfettered age of consent 18.

A high profile example of this application of the law was a statutory rape charge filed against the lead singer of the Thai band Big Ass for allegedly having had sex with a (then) 16 year old girl. The charge was filed by the girl after the singer refused to take responsibility for her baby. The singer has since been cleared of being the baby's father due to the results of a paternity test and he received 2 years suspended sentence.

I have sex with a straight guy or two every week, or at least some say they're straight, some are married with wives and say they're straight or bi and some gay guys have wives and kids and are unhappy in their marriages.

I think most people aren't entirely one or the other, and in America it's still very repressive to be gay. Obama put a couple of gay guys in his administration and they are on the news as being "the openly gay so-and-so," as if they were some kind of circus freak. The person making the invocation speech at his inauguration thinks that gays can be "cured," and the Vice Presidential candidate from the Republican Party, Sara Palin, took any book out of the Alaska libraries that deal with homosexuals and says "God can cure these people."

In business, it is still quite awkward, and a disadvantage, if you don't have a wife and kids (not in big cities, say a few million plus, but in the vast majority of America). You're out at a business dinner & talk rolls around to the wife & kids & everyone goes around & talks about family life and I talk about my partner the same way people talk about their wives but it doesn't go over so well.

It takes some people a long time to admit to themselves that they're gay, then many think there's something wrong with them so they play around with guys when traveling or other time then go back & sex the wife. Or they realize they're gay & here's this wife & kids & what are they going to do now?

So at least in America, which is somewhat of a Christian Theocracy, there is tremendous pressure still NOT to be gay, or if you are to keep it to yourself, especially in school (up to college), so being gay is difficult; being straight is easy. Although, this is not a particularly progressive country in any aspect any more, since the Bush/Cheney regime.

How old are the straight guys you have sex with twice a week? How long they are married? What the prefer more - Bottom or Top? Sorry to ask so direct but thats the point I try to understand.
You have a great prominent open Gay person like "Ellen" in America. I thought its more easy there now.
Who are the gay couple in Obama administration? Any link, pics or reports? I follow up everything about your new good leader. He will be a reason why I am willing to visit USA this year for sure again. In the whole Bush period I not travel to the states.

[francois]

I thought the AOC in Thailand was 18, where is it at 16? Australia?

A subtle clue to gra45's homeland is his avatar; the map of Australia, superimposed with the Australian flag. 5555

I thought the AOC in Thailand was 18, where is it at 16? Australia?

A subtle clue to gra45's homeland is his avatar; the map of Australia, superimposed with the Australian flag. 5555
Yes how correct you are francois I thought it was obvious.Going back hundreds of years the English stole a loaf of bread to get to this wonderful country and now it is one of the hardest countries to obtain a visa or PR...
AOC is yes 16 here but prostitution is illegal an age here ...But I know of foreign Uni students from ages 18 asking $150 + an hour up to $600 + an overnight stay to help with there schooling. I have talked to some of these guys as friends and most are straight ...

The age of consent in Thailand is 15 as specified by article 279 of the Thai Criminal Code. The current legislation applies to all regardless of gender and/or sexual orientation, although it is a common misconception that it applies only to women.

However parts of the Prevention and Suppression of Prostitution Act which disallow any sexual contact with prostitutes under the age of 18, are widely interpreted by some local authorities to cover sexual acts classed as "obscenity for personal gratification". Also from the Penal Code Amendment Act of 1997 Section 283bis, having sex with a child under 18 is a compoundable offense even with the consent of that person. The parent or the child may file charges against the other side if he or she later regrets his or her own action. This ostensibly makes the Thai unfettered age of consent 18.


Wow, I was not aware of that so even if it is not out and out prostitution it's still a sticky wicket all around that would best be avoided. :study:

р╕зр╕┤р╕Чр╕вр╣М

I thought the AOC in Thailand was 18, where is it at 16? Australia?

A subtle clue to gra45's homeland is his avatar; the map of Australia, superimposed with the Australian flag. 5555

Yep, I had gathered that he was referring to either Thailand or Australia but I asked for clarification to be sure. Sometimes it just avoids useless confusion to have something spelled out. :thumbright:

р╕зр╕┤р╕Чр╕вр╣М

I thought the AOC in Thailand was 18, where is it at 16? Australia?

A subtle clue to gra45's homeland is his avatar; the map of Australia, superimposed with the Australian flag. 5555

Yep, I had gathered that he was referring to either Thailand or Australia but I asked for clarification to be sure. Sometimes it just avoids useless confusion to have something spelled out. :thumbright:

р╕зр╕┤р╕Чр╕вр╣М
I would considering changing your name here as someone will put Half in front of it ,Just a joke hope you have a sense of humour not like others here. :flower:

I would considering changing your name here as someone will put Half in front of it ,Just a joke hope you have a sense of humour not like others here. :flower:

Nope. I like my name it was given to me by a Thai monk so I wear it with honor if you will. Besides, I've heard all the 'half-wit' jokes before and although I do have a great sense of humor that joke only shows how unoriginal some can be. 555+ :tongue:

р╣Вр╕Кр╕Др╕Фр╕╡р╕Др╕� �р╕Ъ!
р╕зр╕┤р╕Чр╕вр╣М

[lonelywombat]

I would considering changing your name here as someone will put Half in front of it ,Just a joke hope you have a sense of humour not like others here. :flower:


Nope. I like my name it was given to me by a Thai monk so I wear it with honor if you will. Besides, I've heard all the 'half-wit' jokes before and although I do have a great sense of humor that joke only shows how unoriginal some can be. 555+ :tongue:

р╣Вр╕Кр╕Др╕Фр╕╡р╕Др╕� �р╕Ъ!
р╕зр╕┤р╕Чр╕вр╣М

Many of us have reserved "halfwit " for you not only for your posts here but what you are saying on GayTingTong

You are not a comedian, you are not winning respect for your slagging this forum on TingTong

Stop trying to be a smart arse and be normal. If you stopped trying to be "funny" and was sensible you might get some respect.

I would considering changing your name here as someone will put Half in front of it ,Just a joke hope you have a sense of humour not like others here. :flower:

Nope. I like my name it was given to me by a Thai monk so I wear it with honor if you will. Besides, I've heard all the 'half-wit' jokes before and although I do have a great sense of humor that joke only shows how unoriginal some can be. 555+ :tongue:

р╣Вр╕Кр╕Др╕Фр╕╡р╕Др╕� �р╕Ъ!
р╕зр╕┤р╕Чр╕вр╣М

Many of us have reserved "halfwit " for you not only for your posts here but what you are saying on GayTingTong

You are not a comedian, you are not winning respect for your slagging this forum on TingTong

Stop trying to be a smart arse and be normal. If you stopped trying to be "funny" and was sensible you might get some respect.

Who is this directed at wombat i hope not me ,i never slagged SGT ,prove it lonely...and speak for yourself "Many of us" i truly resent that coment i slag in TT

[Wesley]

Having been one of those who was married and then changed my spots, I can say that living straight would and could have been okay for my life had I not married really bad a bitch for a wife. I had tendencies already, after 8 years to the Bitch of the century. Honestly, it was enough to make anyone want to get fucked since I was already screwed anyway.

Seriously, for me it was the right thing to do, which is get married, the change came when the thought of Children had to be decided. I was not about to bring kids into a life or marriage when I was clearly gay if not clearly most likely. If so, then I was not about to bring a kid into a world that would punish them more than me for my life style should I ever come out. I think, although unhappily I could have loved monogamously with her had she been livable with. However, I was not about to bring kids into a marriage in which I felt was surely going to be a failed marriage and since I had a second opportunity to get it right, I told her I was gay and left her for tall blond Texan. My defining moment was on the second story balcony of my university, looking down at the kids walking by. I realized as if hit by a load of bricks I was not looking at the at the girls at all, but the good looking guys walking by not the women
In the end, it was the fear that knowing how cruel kids can be to other kids, Sorta like [posting on this forum, I did not want to bring that kind of public scorn to a boy or girl who surely would be teased all the way through school because her father was gay. I knew eventually the day would come when I would just not be able to live with her. Had sex been good and it been a good relationship in general. Likely, I would not be posting on this particular forum today.


All the best,

Wes

Many of us have reserved "halfwit " for you not only for your posts here but what you are saying on GayTingTong

You are not a comedian, you are not winning respect for your slagging this forum on TingTong

Stop trying to be a smart arse and be normal. If you stopped trying to be "funny" and was sensible you might get some respect.


My friend you have me confused with someone else. I have not posted anything at all on TingTong's board. To be fair I have looked at their site but I am not even a registered member.

I have only posted comments here on SGT and I always post with the measured words and mindfulness to be kind and polite to other posters here. Therefore you have me confused with someone else and in reviewing my comments to date I see no reason why this accusation is warranted, sorry.

р╣Др╕бр╣Ир╣Ар╕Ыр╣Зр╕Щ� �╣Др╕г
р╕зр╕┤р╕Чр╕вр╣М

I'm probably a different generation than most here (mid thirties) and in the context of this thread, very thankful for it. Although being gay is still much harder than being straight, I guess it's much easier now than most of you older guys found it when you were my age. I've never been with a woman as they truly disgust me sexually, and I can't think of anything worse than lying next to one and being expected to do anything remotely sexual with her. Therefore, the thought of having to marry one under false pretenses is simply horrifying, and not something I think I could have ever done, regardless of the social expectations of the time.

Most of my friends have known I was gay since my mid twenties but that was just because I realised they were, quite naturally, asking questions behind my back about my lack of female companionship and I decided to be brave, open and tell them what I knew they were already thinking. As for my family, I only told them last year. But for both friends and family, it's just something I admitted once but doesn't get talked about again. They feel uncomfortable talking about it, and so do I (to them) so it's just a case of them 'knowing the score' so to speak, but nothing more.

But even then, I guess that's much easier than having to hide it completely, to the extent of having to marry, and even have children with a woman. Perhaps I'm looking at it from someone who's 100% gay, whereas maybe a lot of guys who did get married and have children before 'coming out' were possibly a bit bisexual? In which case, it can't have been all that bad, but for someone like me, I'm certain I'd rather have been a complete social outcast to family and friends rather than put myself through such a terrible and horrific lie.

Thanks for so many good answers. I think I understand a little bit more.

[tobias-old]

But thats not the case 18+ and law in this country is 16 , and im vers,but prefering to be top

I thought the AOC in Thailand was 18, where is it at 16? Australia?
yes age of consent is 16 in australia

No its not it varies from state to state in australia between 16 and 17 with conditions attached in various states.

Also there is federal law against having sex with somone outside australia who is under the age of 16 no matter what the age of consent were you are.

[Wesley]

How old are the straight guys you have sex with twice a week? How long they are married? What the prefer more - Bottom or Top? Sorry to ask so direct but thats the point I try to understand.
You have a great prominent open Gay person like "Ellen" in America. I thought its more easy there now.
Who are the gay couple in Obama administration? Any link, pics or reports? I follow up everything about your new good leader. He will be a reason why I am willing to visit USA this year for sure again. In the whole Bush period I not travel to the states.

I'm not typical as guys play with me sometimes to be Dominated and the sex is just one thing I tell them to do, nor do they really have a choice of top or bottom. I also rule out subs older than 35. Within those limits, though, the straight guys who are married & have kids range from 22 to 35, most intend to stay married and they do as they're told, so they are bottoms. The straights & bi guys usually say they are more assertive with women but submissive with men. Also a lot of guys post on Craigslist that they are straight but want to "try" sex with a man, usually being fucked as their wives don't do that to them, and I don't know if that's just the story or if it's true, but they do seem to like being fucked.

As for being gay in America, I know this is off-topic re: Thailand but in general, the northern states in America are more tolerant and some even accepting of gays than the south, where racial prejudice is also fairly common (in my limited experience). Things are better than they have been, but right now many states are passing amendments to prevent two men or two women from being married. The high-profile gays & lesbians are high profile because it's so uncommon to have a famous person announce they are gay. In cities like Boston, Manhattan, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, and San Diego you can assume that whether you're gay or straight is unimportant in almost all situations, though if you are in a competitive bidding process it's safer to avoid the topic of sexuality if you're gay. In San Francisco, if you're not gay you're probably in the minority (I'm kidding but it's the best). Rural America, the South, and any other place where Evangelical Christians thrive is almost universally anti-gay and sometimes directly so. Evangelicals (and most religious in America) almost universally also believe that God(s) can "cure" people from being gay, and stirring up anti-gay feeling is a tremendously effective fund-raising tool for the religions ("Send in $20 today to fight the scourge of homosexuality. Think of the children.")

Barak is making, or intending to make, many gay appointments, and the best place to keep up with them is probably here (link below), as there is also a lively discussion as to whether these are token appointments or they have meaning. Speakers at Obama's inauguration include a famous and influential Evangelical Minister, Rick Warren, who explicitly says gays are the same as pederasts, cannot join his church, and can't go to heaven, as well as an openly gay Bishop.

http://www.towleroad.com/2009/01/report-obama-to.html
Although, I rarely read all your posts, they are like a reading dull book of which I do read books, but prefer to choose my own author, However, I am not bi, I am not Bottom and I only bottom for certain guys who One, really turns me on, two has a heart to go with his dick and three is not going to try and tell me what to do in bed. Usually I have little to say about posters. When I do its mostly tongue in cheek. However, I really think you could learn not to be quite so wordy in a forum and save the long stuff for a blog.Or I like Homi, could just put you on ignore. If I do that I tend to have to go back and take you off to find out why the next post makes no sense.

All the best!

Wes

[Wesley]

you are right in one thing, the whole board would agree, I do lack clarity, So, generally I stick to short posting myself, I am saying I could have endured for the sake of kids, should that have happened, my wife. I am a top in which will bottom for the right guy. I agree, I would and should not quote your whole post, it does seem to make long, longer which only serves to be better when you are talking about the male appendage. I do not dislike your posts, only that I find them quite long and maybe a blog would serve us better. However, we are all different and if you want to write page after page after page of intellectual drivel then follow your heart. I personally am not impressed. However I am sure X in Pattaya likely loves it, although I would never speak for him. As to me take me a grain of salt, most do. In the mean time I could put you on ignore but as I said I would then have to go back and un-tick your name when the rest of the thread did not make sense with out it. So, often the whole quote could be good not bad depending on if I really care to know what you have said.

So have fun, blog and give us a link to it and save some space.

All the best!

Wes

I'm in my early forties so it's never been a problem for me. But I know many guys in their sixties and older who married and had kids all the while playing on the side. When I meet any gay guy 60+ I oftentimes hear him talk about his grandchildren. I guess people found the pressure to conform too great back then.

[Wesley]

Actually Brandon they do have blog sites on this very forum in which you could use on your longer topics.

I did work in a gay bar as a second job for fun way back when. I ran the S&M shop there so I am not totally igorant of the subject matter. it was an interesting job and doing the leather work and fitting some of the things for sale was at times quite interesting. I did take a few Sailors off to treat them like they wanted but it was just fun for them I am afraid. However, I did enjoy the noise they made and as well the many positions you can find your self in when you wish to play that way.

All the best.

Wes

[Smiles]

" ... My friend (Lonelywombat) you have me confused with someone else ... "
Don't upset yourself over this Wit. Our Lonely Wombat has lived in a perpetual state of general confusion since first surfacing on this message board. I don't expect that to end anytime soon, and regard him now as a kind of board Mascot ... comforting to have around, but harmless.

Cheers ...