Unlimited Hook-ups & Boyfriends/Partners Too?

[Dani69]

Errrrm im confused ? :idea:

[francois]

Sorry to be confusing. I guess I just wonder if you can have a cute guy anytime, at your convenience, for whatever amount of time, an hour, a night, a week, you want him, and a different one anytime you want one, why do so many people have long term partners?

To each one to his own taste. You did mention you had a partner in the US. Why?
Some things just happen. But if you have a partner your life as a butterfly will be more difficult and your partner may be jealous.
Better to just be free both financially and love wise and have fun.

[x in pattaya]

Anything is possible, but you may want to wear a med-alert bracelet with your blood type and organ donor preferences indicated.

Obviously the willingness to share you will depend on how deep his emotional attachment to you is. :withstupid:

If he has an even deeper economic attachment to you he may be less able to see the humor in your butterflyism. :violent1:

[bing]

You ask a good question about having a long term relationship when there are so many to choose from. I think the answer depends on choice. If you like many partners then many guys will be you choice, but if you like to have a good time and find a Thai Friend who is to your liking, and is clean and likes the things you like, then you are a good candidate for a Thai BF. And if you find that being with one really nice guy makes you happy, then you stick with him. Then you can sleep easy and not worry if the new one will rip you off while you sleep. I started out with the choice of many guys and have found that i like a few that I see each year. The boy i liked best has gone to Germany to learn German with his farang friend. I had know him for 7 years, he is 29 now and I wish him good things. That German man who took him to Germany has a gem and he knows it. I have another frind who is 30 now that I have known for even longer who does not work bars anymore, but has good job in hotel management. I had helped him with English classes with Mim at NS travel. Last time I was in town he took off a week from the hotel to be with me full time. Not sure if this answers your question about why go with one when you can choose from many. It has crossed my mind that it is likened to finding a real Rolex in the offerings of many fake Rolex watches, when you find the real Rolex watch, why would you settle for a fake one. (not perfect analogy as even the fake ones are fun.)

[allieb]

Brandon

I have been in a reltionship for more than 20 years, its certainly not monogamous. It was at first for about a year or two until the magic wore off. I Find that sex and love are in no way connected. I used to cheat secretly and so did my partner we both chose to look the other way but it was still distressing to both of us. It took many years to be able to come clean and finally come to Thailand together and both do our own thing quite openly. Its great to have lots of new sex and still live with a person who knows you well and who you love as a person and not for the sex.

Whats the point of making an issue, life is to short get out and fuck all you can. Your boyfriend dosen't seem to be able to but were his sexual health a bit better then my bet is he would do the same either secretly or openly.

I'm sure I am goint to get some mad fags at my throat for this next statement but its my own opinion that no gay relationship is monogamus, if anyone says it is then he's a fool or he's lying, one or the other or both are at it. Men are by nature hunters, even camp men .

[allieb]

Brandon
Why be on your own? You have been with your partner for 21 years what wrong with having him as a partner and getting your sex outside? You must love him to have stayed with him that long

[allieb]

Brandon

Take him to Thailand for a holiday and get him a fabulous massage by a good looking Thai boy. It my be that this kind of body contact will satifsy him as much as the the full works would satisfy you. Other than that how about living between the two places.

I'm sure I am goint to get some mad fags at my throat for this next statement but its my own opinion that no gay relationship is monogamus, if anyone says it is then he's a fool or he's lying, one or the other or both are at it. Men are by nature hunters, even camp men .

Why would someone disagreeing with you make them a "mad fag"? You are entitled to your opinion, as Brandon is to his lifestyle. What you are totally unable to do with any justification, however, is to comment on any gay relationships other than your own or those you personally know about. I am not knocking your relationship or your lifestyle, so I think that your calling me a fool or a liar just because my relationship differs from yours is uncalledfor. My Thai partner and I have been together monogamously for nearly 6 years and I have farang friends living here who have been together, similarly, for longer.

You and Brandon are the ones who are losing out, in my view, not me or those like me, but fortunately we all have different needs and wants.

[Wesley]

My Lover and I addressed this today, in-fact, We both agreed to keep an open relationship. I am gone a lot and he works a lot. I love him, he loves me and with out jealousy we can both love each other and sleep with others. This may change. Honestly, I hope it does, I prefer monogmaous relatiosnhips. But , it seems illogical to be gone on bussiness to the USA for 3 months at a time while he is left alone is asking more of him than I should. So, he made the choice. I simply agreed.

Wes

My Thai partner and I have been together monogamously for nearly 6 years.Everyone else is safe then!

[Smiles]

" ... he pretty much lost interest in sex (doesn't even j/o). He's seen doctors, he's on meds, had minor surgery, seen therapists, psychiatrists, we've seen therapists & psychiatrists & nothing works & they don't know what's up ... "
The answer to that one can probably be found here: << condoms-t16865-75.html (http://www.sawatdee-gay-thailand.com/forum/condoms-t16865-75.html) >>

In answer to the first question ... all of those choices you mention.
Difficult to see a reason why you have trouble imaging that there are not the whole gamut of 'types' of Thai/Farang relationships in Thailand as there are everywhere else.

The range is something like this: From pure and utter butterfly sex tourist in Thailand short term >>>>> through live-in pure butterflys who like it that way >>>>> through butterflys who would like to have something more permanent >>>>> to theoretical monogmists who keep trying but can't get there >>>>> to guys who've found a monogamist, happy, fullfilled relationship with a Thai man. Sounds like a pretty common general description to me, and takes in just about everyone.

Cheers ....

Enjoyability is limited only by the thickness of your wallet.Confucious say?

i think most guys here who have a longterm thai boyfriend also have other interests and enjoy the fun that can be had so easy. a steady thai boy might live with you, help with house chores and provide companionship. bar boys might just give a chance to experiment more with different types of boys and sex.

[Bob]

I'm a Dom with several NSA (no strings attached) subs. Our relationship is they come in, strip, kneel on the floor and wait for instructions, and will do absolutely anything I tell them to, sexual or not.

I can collar one of my subs, which is putting a silver or gold collar on him and signing some documents, and he becomes my property, and usually a collared sub or slave (in a Master/slave) relationship give all their material possessions and money, as well as the right to make all decisions affecting his life, to his Dom or Master. Often, but not always.

I go to parties with other Dom/sub(s) or Master/slave(s) combos and the sub or slave must do whatever he's told, so if a friend thinks he's good looking I can give my sub, or one of them, to my friend to use for a defined period of time, or even make the sub a gift. I can acquire them the same way.


To each his own, I suppose, but all I can imagine is Junior Sample (Hee Haw) in a sumo-style leather jock strap whipping some swastika-adorned skinhead at a KKK brunch in Tennesee. With that thought, I need to get to a wat somewhere soon and hope that Buddha will cleanse my mind.

[Aunty]

As someone who is incapable of love, is elderly and alone, I envy you.

Oh don't get too down to it Colonel. You should look on the bright side! There's always razor blades! :cheers:

As someone who is incapable of love, is elderly and alone, I envy you.Oh don't get too down to it Colonel. You should look on the bright side! There's always razor blades! :cheers:I hear you store yours up your ass. :idea:

i think most guys here who have a longterm thai boyfriend also have other interests and enjoy the fun that can be had so easy. a steady thai boy might live with you, help with house chores and provide companionship. bar boys might just give a chance to experiment more with different types of boys and sex.

Sadly, to me, your view is not an unusual one. Two of my partner's friends are in a similar position, living with a farang who thinks of them as "a longterm thai boyfriend" while playing the field - in one case behind his Thai boyfriend's back (so he thinks), in the other quite openly. In neither case is the Thai boyfriend doing the same.

In the first case the boy stays at home while "his" farang goes to the beach to meet his liaisons; he considers that he was very lucky as he had a brain infection (which sounds like meningitis, but I am not sure) and his farang took him to his home country to have an operation which almost certainly saved his life. The operation resulted in some minor and barely noticeable facial nerve damage which he is now more conscious of than ever, as he thinks that is why his farang finds him less sexually attractive. He resigns himself to this on the basis that he is still alive, for which he will always be grateful, and that he is well looked after for being what is he considers essentially a maid and guide.

In the second case the farang is perfectly open about it, using the second bedroom at the house, and chooses his overnight partners from bars in his Thai b/f's presence. He makes the point that his b/f is "more important" by letting him sit in the front seat of the car when they drive home while the overnighter sits in the back. He accepts it as just the way many farangs are, and is happy to at least have the dog for company.

Both have told my partner that their farang b/f's behaviour has reduced them, in private, to tears although neither would let their partner know their true feelings about this as they genuinely care about them too much.

[allieb]

I'm sure I am goint to get some mad fags at my throat for this next statement but its my own opinion that no gay relationship is monogamus, if anyone says it is then he's a fool or he's lying, one or the other or both are at it. Men are by nature hunters, even camp men .

Why would someone disagreeing with you make them a "mad fag"? You are entitled to your opinion, as Brandon is to his lifestyle. What you are totally unable to do with any justification, however, is to comment on any gay relationships other than your own or those you personally know about. I am not knocking your relationship or your lifestyle, so I think that your calling me a fool or a liar just because my relationship differs from yours is uncalledfor. My Thai partner and I have been together monogamously for nearly 6 years and I have farang friends living here who have been together, similarly, for longer.

You and Brandon are the ones who are losing out, in my view, not me or those like me, but fortunately we all have different needs and wants.

Gone Fishing

If your 6 year relationship is for real then congratulations and I take back what I said and do not include you as a fool or liar and I hope it lasts. I am in no position to comment on your partnership as I don't kow you or you partner. However what I am saying is that I have also known, as you, many people who have been in long partnerships and who insist that they are monogomous, only to see or hear of, one or the other at it when their partner is away or not with them for some reason.

What do you do in this case? Do you aproach and tell the cheater not the cheat or tell the cheated that his partner is cheating? Thus exposing a fool or liar.

You can speak for yourself but unless you can are with your partner 24 hours a day you will never know for sure. If however your partner is 100% faithful and has been for the 6 years you are a very lucky man. I don't think that there are many lucky men out there. (my opinion) How do I come to my opinion? Out of dozens of so called monogomus partners I have know in my years on this planet, most have ended up with one getting caught cheating. The ones that didn't either didn't cheat or didn't get caught. I will never know for sure.

[quiet1]

In the second case the farang is perfectly open about it, using the second bedroom at the house, and chooses his overnight partners from bars in his Thai b/f's presence. He makes the point that his b/f is "more important" by letting him sit in the front seat of the car when they drive home while the overnighter sits in the back. He accepts it as just the way many farangs are, and is happy to at least have the dog for company.

Both have told my partner that their farang b/f's behaviour has reduced them, in private, to tears although neither would let their partner know their true feelings about this as they genuinely care about them too much.Thank you for posting these stories; they make me think a lot about people staying together because of feeling or finances (I've seen a lot of sayings, here and other places, that when the farang's money runs out so does the boy, which I'm sure is not universally true). This kind of thing isn't uncommon in the U.S.

I don't know what the emotion is, but if the boy's heart is broken by his farang's behavior of bringing guys home right in front of him, it sounds like he has a lot of emotion for the farang. But most of what I read is that these relationships are more monetary-based than love-based. I can understand how a 60 year old can easily develop lots of emotions for a 20 year old, especially since he probably started out with the boy based on the boy's looks, but do young (not underage) Thais find 60-year old farangs physically attractive? I'm assuming that physical attraction would need to work both ways for a couple to develop a deep, long-term relationship, especially if it was monogamous, since ideally they would meet most of each other's needs.
An equally possible reason contributing to the tears and private frustration is the "loss of face" concept. Face is a BIG part of life in Thailand.

Even though the farang referenced above gives his Thai partner the honor of the front car seat on the drive home, he may suffer humiliation (loss of face) being at the bar, sitting beside his farang as he chooses his trick for the evening.

To Brandon, there are cultural differences such as "face," that you learn as you go while living in Thailand. It shows up in various facets of everyday life here.

I'll summarize another cultural perspective that someone once posted here (sorry, but I can't remember who, or I would attribute the source):

A farang living in Pattaya had an HIV+ Thai partner, and took care of the partner, including paying medical costs. The upcountry family learned of the boy's plight, physically removed him from Pattaya and took him back upcountry where, due to lack of adequate medical care, the boy's condition quickly worsened and he died. A westerner could easily think "How cruel of that family! How horrible the suffering of the Thai boy!" However, the Thai (Buddhist and family-centric) perspective is that: (a) a sick Thai should be home with his family and (b) suffering in this life prepares the soul for a better life next time. We in the west are raised in the primarily Christian perspective whereby this life is all we get, so we have to make the most of it, extending it as long as possible, even if by medical machines and devices. Buddhists, however, "know" that there is more than this current lifetime, hence a totally different perspective.

I'll risk going out on a limb and speculate that some Thai's willingness to submit to unsafe practices (whether driving like a maniac on a moto-sai without a helmet, or engaging in risky sex without a condom) may be influenced by the notion that there is another life after this one, and if s/he endures suffering in this life, it will guarantee a better life next time. I'm not saying it's a major driving determinant in deciding to engage in unsafe sex, but it's a subtle idea always in the back of their mind.

You can speak for yourself but unless you can are with your partner 24 hours a day you will never know for sure. If however your partner is 100% faithful and has been for the 6 years you are a very lucky man. I don't think that there are many lucky men out there. (my opinion)

Allieb, thanks for the congratulations.

I normally try only to speak for myself - I get less confused that way! And I do know for sure, much as I know that the sun will come up every morning - I don't need to see it to know.

Lucky? Yes, without any doubt. Every day that I wake up, every time I see him, every second we are together, I know that I am the luckiest guy in the world, bar none. That's not being smug or conceited, its simply being honest.

And, sadly, I'd agree with you - I don't think there are many lucky men out there either.

hate to say this but i think there are just as many thai boys doing the same or worse to falang boyfriends who consider them long term. as far as i can tell if it is out in the open then it is the choice of each person in the relationship to decide if they are happy or not. if not there is always someplace else to go. anyhow i think that these experences are normal in thailand where thais dont see sex as emotional and falang are here to be butterflies. who is to jusge any one relationship or how it works? not me.

hate to say this but i think there are just as many thai boys doing the same or worse to falang boyfriends who consider them long term. as far as i can tell if it is out in the open then it is the choice of each person in the relationship to decide if they are happy or not. if not there is always someplace else to go. anyhow i think that these experences are normal in thailand where thais dont see sex as emotional and falang are here to be butterflies. who is to jusge any one relationship or how it works? not me.

Is it any difference in farangland? I saw plenty of guys fucking around behind bf's backs (not literally) in Sydney. Maybe where you come from all gays are living in happy little relationships?

[Khor tose]

Thanks, quiet1. Of course I don't have an understanding of face but I think a longer visit, more like 6 months instead of 3, as people have suggested, would be needed for me to even see a few examples or begin to understand what I'm seeing. I'm also going to have to lose the baggage of the Dom/sub perspective on sex!

I asked about face and got a lot of very interesting and very insightful answers: Check out this thread.

http://www.gaytingtong.com/viewtopic.ph ... 221#p17221 (http://www.gaytingtong.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=2909&p=17221#p17221)

Brandon Your query on whether Thai boys find older men attractive? I guess some genuinely do but for the most I think not. Tourist who turn up often get the wrong impression. They think they have suddenly become more attractive and that the pretty young things in tight jeans is hanging on their every word because they are God's gift.Not true economics dictate a lot in Thailand. There is no shame in prositution, the shame is in being poor.

Young men look for young men. If they say I love you "Pom rak khun" they mean I love you like my father. Does any 50 year old guy really believe that he is God's gift? Its about money and security. When you get called Papa you will understand.

There is no place like Thailand is it the water? Why is Thailand so very Gay? Well no British or French Laws outlawing homosexuality ever existed there; no Christian or Islamic sanctions, so nothing is taboo. The lady boys have done much to pave the way for Gays in Thailand. Without control from Moralist and without prohibitive laws the country has developed rather uniquely.

Still despite all this my take is Over all the boys would not go with the older ones if they have a choice!

If you have money you can work miracles and wonders in Thailand. So just enjoy it for what it is. Just pay if you have to and enjoy its cheaper in the long run!

Two of my partner's friends are in a similar position, living with a farang who thinks of them as "a longterm thai boyfriend" while playing the field - in one case behind his Thai boyfriend's back (so he thinks), in the other quite openly. In neither case is the Thai boyfriend doing the same.So exactly the same sort of thing as happens everywhere else in the world!

Brandon I get a bit lost with all the talk on Sub and Doms. I suspect there are some in thailand but that practise is not widespread. Asians don't look at things in those terms. In Thailand you pay you can call your self whatever you want. I havent come across anything on Thai boys in to spanking.

Why is Thailand so very Gay? Well no British or French Laws outlawing homosexuality ever existed there; no Christian or Islamic sanctions, so nothing is taboo.

Totally wrong, although I will grant that this is a common misconception.

The legal position of homosexuals in Thailand is as clear now as it has always been:

Sodomy was decriminalized in Thailand in 1956.

Homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder until the 1954 law was amended in 2002. Openly gay homosexuals and transexuals were exempt/barred from military conscription under this law until 2005.

The religious (Buddhist) position is equally clear, officially barring openly gay men from becoming monks.