topjohn5
November 3rd, 2008, 11:15
Here is a little test I made for all you reprobates out there. I saw something similar to this sometime ago online but with very few items listed. My list is however significantly more robust than the one I saw. Many of you will think this is stupid and, that maybe because youтАЩre an old poop! But, for others, this is just a harmless bit of fun.
All you have to do is total up your 'offenses'. No duplicates, please! If I allowed duplicates, with a couple of those that are listed, you just might be in the poor house.
Then post your fine online. If youтАЩd like to break it down to the sexual and non-sexual fines, please do so. You don't have to confess your answers, just the total amount of your fine. And, yes I am aware that there are 4 items (first 2 on each list) that if you answer yes to the fine it will be known to all board members based your total (due to the fine amount)тАжтАжтАж.thatтАЩs part of the fun!
Also, please give me your suggestions for fines. I may add them to my list at a later date. And, as if I didnтАЩt need to tell you, the fine level and the item listed is totally arbitrary and capricious (actually, IтАЩm sure that they are not all in their proper order yetтАжif there is such a thingтАж).
The total fine could be as much as $4999.75. You can argue with the item and the fine amount if you want but, IтАЩm sorry, thatтАЩs the fine!
Sexual Fines (sub-totals $2583.25):
Masturbated -- $0.25
Ejaculated 5+ times in one day -- $3
Went skinny dipping or nude sunbathing in a public place -- $5
Played strip poker -- $5
Gave or got a visible hicky (love bite) -- $5
Watched porn with a date -- $10
Crossed dressed in public -- $10
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $10
Gave money to a stripper -- $10
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Used toys while having sex with someone else -- $15
Had cam sex online -- $15
Hit on someone of the same sex you work with -- $15
Had anal sex -- $15
Gave oral and they came in your mouth -- $20
Made a nasty home video -- $20
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Participated in a circle-jerk -- $20
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Had sex outdoors -- $20
Had sex with someone later that you first met online -- $20
Had sex in a sauna or steam room -- $20
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $20
Had sex with someone 20+ years older than you -- $20
Had sex with someone 20+ years younger than you -- $25
Had sex with your best friend (who was not your significant other) -- $25
Been in the same room while someone else was having sex (not just masturbation) -- $25
Lied to your significant other about the sex being good -- $25
Gave/got oral in a car while one of you were driving -- $25
Had sex with a felon -- $25
Had sex with someone you work with (not your boss or subordinate) -- $25
Had sex at the place you work -- $25
Discussed graphic sex acts with your parents -- $25
Restrained (tied up) someone and then had sex -- $25
Had sex in a church -- $25
Pretended, to get a date, to be someone or something you are not -- $25
Posted your nude pics on a public web site -- $25
Been given a тАЬpity or charityтАЭ fuck by a date -- $30
Been restrained (tied up) by someone and then had sex -- $30
Been hit-on by one of your parents friends -- $30
Cheated on your significant other -- $35
Had a threesome -- $35
Worked in a porn store -- $35
Have downloaded illegal underage porn -- $40
Paid for sex with hooker -- $40
Posted someoneтАЩs nude pics online without their permission -- $50
Supported financially more than 1 bf/gf at the same time -- $50
Had sex with 3 or more different people in one day -- $50
Had sex in a тАЬdarkroomтАЭ -- $50
Been тАЬoutedтАЭ -- $50
Had sex with your boss or with your direct subordinate -- $50
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Had sex in a public bathroom -- $50
Did scat -- $60
Been to a sex club -- $60
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $60
Been a sex tourist -- $60
Went streaking in broad daylight in a public place -- $60
Had anal sex, raw, with a non-long-term partner -- $65
Been in love with a hooker -- $65
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $70
Participated in an orgy (4 or more people where the focal point is not as one group) -- $75
Saw your parents having sex -- $80
Had sex for money (you were a hooker) -- $85
While still married you came out to your spouse -- $90
Had illegal sex with a minor -- $95
Had sex with someone who was under the influence and they couldnтАЩt resist -- $100
Participated in some form of incest -- $100
Had sex with an animal -- $100
Non-Sexual Fines (sub-totals $2416.50):
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Mooned someone -- $1
You did karaoke and you really shouldnтАЩt -- $5
Been in a public food fight -- $5
Entered a movie without a ticket -- $5
Said; тАЬletтАЩs get togetherтАЭ and didnтАЩt mean it -- $5
Cheated on a test -- $5
Borrowed something and didnтАЩt return it -- $5
Been publicly drunk -- $10
Lied on your taxes -- $10
Bought fake trademarked goods -- $10
Smoked pot -- $10
Have copied software without a license -- $10
Did a line of coke -- $15
Been in a bar brawl -- $15
Grew pot -- $20
Did graffiti -- $20
Hit your significant other -- $20
Took ecstasy -- $20
Had an auto accident that you caused -- $20
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Killed a mammal for sport (not human) -- $20
Snuck something through customs -- $20
Been drunk at a company party or event -- $20
Stole something worth more than twenty dollars but less than $500 -- $20
Plagiarized something -- $20
Wrote a bad check on purpose -- $20
Broke something and didnтАЩt tell them or lied about it -- $20
Dropped acid or used magic mushrooms -- $25
Lied to a doctor to get drugs -- $25
Drove drunk -- $25
Bitch-slapped someone in public or been bitch-slapped -- $25
Faked your report card -- $25
Had to have someone send you money because you were in trouble -- $25
Had a public screaming fight with someone -- $25
Had an auto accident and failed to report it -- $25
Borrowed money to gamble with -- $25
Lied to the police -- $30
Drove faster than 100 mph (161 kph) on a public road -- $30
Smoked crack or did heroin -- $35
Been arrested and тАЬbookedтАЭ -- $35
Beat up someone in public-- $35
Carried an illegal weapon on you -- $40
Hacked into someoneтАЩs email account -- $40
Spied on someone or paid to have it done -- $40
DidnтАЩt file your taxes -- $50
Participated in a dine and dash -- $50
Got drunk at work or, went to work while still drunk -- $50
Declared bankruptcy -- $50
Been foreclosed on -- $50
Been fired for cause -- $50
Lost something worth more than $1000 -- $50
Lied to a Judge -- $55
Evaded a subpoena -- $60
Evaded serving in the military -- $60
Stole something worth more than a $500 -- $65
Evaded the police -- $65
DidnтАЩt pay your child support -- $65
Bugged someoneтАЩs computer, phone, home or office -- $70
Illegally entered a country -- $75
Spent over 6 months in jail -- $80
Been in a religious cult -- $85
Sold drugs illegally -- $90
Counterfeited money or an important document -- $95
Killed a human -- $100
Had a 2nd family at the same time or been married to two people at the same time -- $100
Broke a law(s) that if caught would put you in jail for at least 10 years -- $100
Okay, now tally up your answers, and post your fine (possible total of $4999.75)!!!
All you have to do is total up your 'offenses'. No duplicates, please! If I allowed duplicates, with a couple of those that are listed, you just might be in the poor house.
Then post your fine online. If youтАЩd like to break it down to the sexual and non-sexual fines, please do so. You don't have to confess your answers, just the total amount of your fine. And, yes I am aware that there are 4 items (first 2 on each list) that if you answer yes to the fine it will be known to all board members based your total (due to the fine amount)тАжтАжтАж.thatтАЩs part of the fun!
Also, please give me your suggestions for fines. I may add them to my list at a later date. And, as if I didnтАЩt need to tell you, the fine level and the item listed is totally arbitrary and capricious (actually, IтАЩm sure that they are not all in their proper order yetтАжif there is such a thingтАж).
The total fine could be as much as $4999.75. You can argue with the item and the fine amount if you want but, IтАЩm sorry, thatтАЩs the fine!
Sexual Fines (sub-totals $2583.25):
Masturbated -- $0.25
Ejaculated 5+ times in one day -- $3
Went skinny dipping or nude sunbathing in a public place -- $5
Played strip poker -- $5
Gave or got a visible hicky (love bite) -- $5
Watched porn with a date -- $10
Crossed dressed in public -- $10
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $10
Gave money to a stripper -- $10
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Used toys while having sex with someone else -- $15
Had cam sex online -- $15
Hit on someone of the same sex you work with -- $15
Had anal sex -- $15
Gave oral and they came in your mouth -- $20
Made a nasty home video -- $20
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Participated in a circle-jerk -- $20
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Had sex outdoors -- $20
Had sex with someone later that you first met online -- $20
Had sex in a sauna or steam room -- $20
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $20
Had sex with someone 20+ years older than you -- $20
Had sex with someone 20+ years younger than you -- $25
Had sex with your best friend (who was not your significant other) -- $25
Been in the same room while someone else was having sex (not just masturbation) -- $25
Lied to your significant other about the sex being good -- $25
Gave/got oral in a car while one of you were driving -- $25
Had sex with a felon -- $25
Had sex with someone you work with (not your boss or subordinate) -- $25
Had sex at the place you work -- $25
Discussed graphic sex acts with your parents -- $25
Restrained (tied up) someone and then had sex -- $25
Had sex in a church -- $25
Pretended, to get a date, to be someone or something you are not -- $25
Posted your nude pics on a public web site -- $25
Been given a тАЬpity or charityтАЭ fuck by a date -- $30
Been restrained (tied up) by someone and then had sex -- $30
Been hit-on by one of your parents friends -- $30
Cheated on your significant other -- $35
Had a threesome -- $35
Worked in a porn store -- $35
Have downloaded illegal underage porn -- $40
Paid for sex with hooker -- $40
Posted someoneтАЩs nude pics online without their permission -- $50
Supported financially more than 1 bf/gf at the same time -- $50
Had sex with 3 or more different people in one day -- $50
Had sex in a тАЬdarkroomтАЭ -- $50
Been тАЬoutedтАЭ -- $50
Had sex with your boss or with your direct subordinate -- $50
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Had sex in a public bathroom -- $50
Did scat -- $60
Been to a sex club -- $60
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $60
Been a sex tourist -- $60
Went streaking in broad daylight in a public place -- $60
Had anal sex, raw, with a non-long-term partner -- $65
Been in love with a hooker -- $65
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $70
Participated in an orgy (4 or more people where the focal point is not as one group) -- $75
Saw your parents having sex -- $80
Had sex for money (you were a hooker) -- $85
While still married you came out to your spouse -- $90
Had illegal sex with a minor -- $95
Had sex with someone who was under the influence and they couldnтАЩt resist -- $100
Participated in some form of incest -- $100
Had sex with an animal -- $100
Non-Sexual Fines (sub-totals $2416.50):
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Mooned someone -- $1
You did karaoke and you really shouldnтАЩt -- $5
Been in a public food fight -- $5
Entered a movie without a ticket -- $5
Said; тАЬletтАЩs get togetherтАЭ and didnтАЩt mean it -- $5
Cheated on a test -- $5
Borrowed something and didnтАЩt return it -- $5
Been publicly drunk -- $10
Lied on your taxes -- $10
Bought fake trademarked goods -- $10
Smoked pot -- $10
Have copied software without a license -- $10
Did a line of coke -- $15
Been in a bar brawl -- $15
Grew pot -- $20
Did graffiti -- $20
Hit your significant other -- $20
Took ecstasy -- $20
Had an auto accident that you caused -- $20
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Killed a mammal for sport (not human) -- $20
Snuck something through customs -- $20
Been drunk at a company party or event -- $20
Stole something worth more than twenty dollars but less than $500 -- $20
Plagiarized something -- $20
Wrote a bad check on purpose -- $20
Broke something and didnтАЩt tell them or lied about it -- $20
Dropped acid or used magic mushrooms -- $25
Lied to a doctor to get drugs -- $25
Drove drunk -- $25
Bitch-slapped someone in public or been bitch-slapped -- $25
Faked your report card -- $25
Had to have someone send you money because you were in trouble -- $25
Had a public screaming fight with someone -- $25
Had an auto accident and failed to report it -- $25
Borrowed money to gamble with -- $25
Lied to the police -- $30
Drove faster than 100 mph (161 kph) on a public road -- $30
Smoked crack or did heroin -- $35
Been arrested and тАЬbookedтАЭ -- $35
Beat up someone in public-- $35
Carried an illegal weapon on you -- $40
Hacked into someoneтАЩs email account -- $40
Spied on someone or paid to have it done -- $40
DidnтАЩt file your taxes -- $50
Participated in a dine and dash -- $50
Got drunk at work or, went to work while still drunk -- $50
Declared bankruptcy -- $50
Been foreclosed on -- $50
Been fired for cause -- $50
Lost something worth more than $1000 -- $50
Lied to a Judge -- $55
Evaded a subpoena -- $60
Evaded serving in the military -- $60
Stole something worth more than a $500 -- $65
Evaded the police -- $65
DidnтАЩt pay your child support -- $65
Bugged someoneтАЩs computer, phone, home or office -- $70
Illegally entered a country -- $75
Spent over 6 months in jail -- $80
Been in a religious cult -- $85
Sold drugs illegally -- $90
Counterfeited money or an important document -- $95
Killed a human -- $100
Had a 2nd family at the same time or been married to two people at the same time -- $100
Broke a law(s) that if caught would put you in jail for at least 10 years -- $100
Okay, now tally up your answers, and post your fine (possible total of $4999.75)!!!