Okay, my first trip. Should I arrange a date in advance?

[topjohn5]

Hi All,
I am arriving in early December and spending about a week in BKK and then 10 days in Pattaya before taking off for 3 weeks in the Philippines.
This is my first trip to Thailand and I am wondering the pros and cons of my potential actions. I am not interested in forming a long distance LT relationship at this point although I am single now and I could. I have been speaking to a couple of guys in BKK and Pattaya from various web sites and chatting with them. Some of them sound very interesting. Well, let me rephrase that last sentence....they sound and look very cute and hot.... The question is do I arrange a date with a local guy in BKK and another maybe in Pattaya for the times of my trip I am in each place? I kind of like the idea of having a guide/date for the first trip. I am not exactly sure if they are money boys or not.....but, I'm sure it will cost me either way, lol. Anyway, the alternative is to check out the bar boy scene and be more of a butterfly but I am affraid I will just off some one for the same amount of time anyway and the only advantage/disadvantage is I will know for sure that he is a money boy. And, if I were to arrange a date or two how would I get out of the long date if it doesn't work out and save face for the guy as well? Also, I have been chatting with a guy from Malaysia and I am concidering flying him to BKK for 1 week. That has an advantage/disadvantage as it has a definate end in BKK and then I am free to go to Pattaya alone.
Ravage me with your thoughts, opinions and comments please.

It's very personal: If you're a 'planning guy' and would like to plan every step during your stay here, than it might be good to take care of things ahead.
On the other hand, the number of cute and nice boys that are available 'just around the corner', is huge and it might give you a not very satisfied feeling, walking with your 'pre-ordered' friend through the areas in either BKK or PTT.
Boys offering themselves over the internet know how to sell themselves, but in reality they might appear to be a 'cold shower'.

For Thais, planning for December is a bit like planning for the next century, even a week ahead is a long way off, so any date you make now, may not work out. And remember that guys you meet online, may not look quite the same in real life, so flying some stranger from Malaysia is a gamble. Once in Bangkok, you'll be spoiled for choice, and online is still an option if you really need it.

I agree, why on earth would you fly someone into Thailand!! there are thousands already here and I never commit to someone until I see them in a public place where either party can walk away Come alone foot loose and fancy free and you'll have a great time

[topjohn5]

They are soooooooo f-ing cute damn.......I hope I can resist!!! Ugh!

Do you not enjoy the hunt???? looking for mr boy special.

My BF always says that the boys you meet on the net are never what you expect

Thai boys like farang tell lies

It is safer to meet bar boy as you have somewhere to complain if it goes wrong

Remember it is best to be sure[safe] than dead. The HIV status is a worry as many boys who have HIV want to infect farang

First of all, if they are able to spend the time with you during your whole stay they are most probably moneyboys. Even so I have a feeling that most of them you find on internet is looking for a LTR. In a big town like Bangkok I think it can be a good idea to make some arrangements before you come there, espcially if its your first time. But if it's not working it can be difficult to get out of it. Perhaps you should just tell the boy before that you going to stay lets say 1 or 2 nights. If you like him you can always "change your mind" and extend your stay. A good way to get to know the boy in advance is to chat using webcam. Then you see how the boy looks and behave and you get a much better idea if you going to like him or not.

I haven't been to Pattaya, but I dont think I would set up anything in advance in that kind of place. I've been to Phuket and I found it easy and convenient to get to know the boys on the beach where a lot of them spend their daytime. Some of them freelancers, others going to work in the bars in the evening. I think they are more relaxed when you meet them outside the bars, they play and jokes with their friends and you get a better idea if you going to enjoy their company or not then you will probably do if you just see them in the bars.

A very nice thing with dating on internet is that you can also meet "normal" boys that you not find in the bars. This boys normally work or study so the time they can spend with you is limited but if they want see you they are probably genuine intrested and you you probably dont have to pay them, even if you normally pay for food, drinks, taxi etc. You meet the boy in the evenings for dinner, movies etc and perhaps doing some trips if he have a day off but you also get time for doing things by your own. I have met some really nice boys this way and the arrangement suites me very good.

As mentioned in an earlier post, if you not go there before december it's probably a little bit to early to make any arrangemnets already now.

Good Luck!

I tried contacting a couple of guys on the net last year, before visiting SE Asia.

This was a complete waste of time as in the end I didn't arrange to meet anyone in advance.

When arriving in BKK, I was immediately smitten with the stunning selection of guys at Classic Boys.

Limit your preparation to finding out where all the good bars are & booking joiner friendly hotels.

[bao-bao]

They are soooooooo f-ing cute damn.......I hope I can resist!!! Ugh!

Just keep it in your pants another few weeks, topjohn5. Do some searches in the archives -- the stories are the same month after month, year after year. For someone single arriving in Thailand and looking to hook up with a guy, it's not only foolish (in my opinion) to book yourself up this far in advance, it's unfair to you AND the friends you are more than likely going to meet.

By unfair I mean if you book yourself up before arriving you're going to upset someone if you send your arranged friend packing because you meet someone who you click with after arriving here, either him by dumping him or yourself by sticking to your agreement and passing up what might be quite a catch.

Of course, that's assuming you're going to come into this arrangement without expectations and with an open mind for a culture, mindset and menu of social customs that will be difficult to get a grip on in one trip. The Thai are by and large a warm, wonderful and gracious group of generous folks, but you'll have a much better chance of meeting them someplace where company and affection are not listed on a menu, if you catch my drift.

I've built some friendships that I expect will last a lifetime; people who pay their own way, don't ask for anything other than my time, people I feel I could count on if I needed them. I've also met some who were less than honest, but keeping one's wits about them can often sort that lot out. Sound new friends out online while you're chatting - ask what's important to them in life. If they can't hold any kind of conversation past what the new phones are like, move on.

The Thai friends who have complained to me about how badly they're treated by Western men have to a man been trolling in the trash for relationships. I would offer the same advice to you, free of charge. Look for the type of guy you want in a place where such guys might be, and if it's relationship material you're after the odds are against them loitering in the third floor men's room in some shopping mall.

If I were coming here on my first trip and was in the market for hook-ups, I'd arrive footloose and fancy free. The unknown in this case is part of the excitement - don't cheat yourself out of it by jumping the gun.

As the song goes: "The obsession's in the chasing, and not the apprehending. The pursuit, you see - and never the arrest."

Besides... it's the rare person who comes to Thailand that can resist coming back.

You'll see! :cheers:

[Smiles]

Hi All,
I am arriving in early December and spending about a week in BKK and then 10 days in Pattaya before taking off for 3 weeks in the Philippines.
This is my first trip to Thailand and I am wondering the pros and cons of my potential actions. I am not interested in forming a long distance LT relationship at this point although I am single now and I could. I have been speaking to a couple of guys in BKK and Pattaya from various web sites and chatting with them. Some of them sound very interesting. Well, let me rephrase that last sentence....they sound and look very cute and hot.... The question is do I arrange a date with a local guy in BKK and another maybe in Pattaya for the times of my trip I am in each place? I kind of like the idea of having a guide/date for the first trip. I am not exactly sure if they are money boys or not.....but, I'm sure it will cost me either way, lol. Anyway, the alternative is to check out the bar boy scene and be more of a butterfly but I am affraid I will just off some one for the same amount of time anyway and the only advantage/disadvantage is I will know for sure that he is a money boy. And, if I were to arrange a date or two how would I get out of the long date if it doesn't work out and save face for the guy as well? Also, I have been chatting with a guy from Malaysia and I am concidering flying him to BKK for 1 week. That has an advantage/disadvantage as it has a definate end in BKK and then I am free to go to Pattaya alone.
Ravage me with your thoughts, opinions and comments please.
OK, here goes . . . to re-coin an old cliche: YOU TINK TOO MUCH!!! (And you don't make paragraphs within your posts, which makes them difficult to read, which makes them look like self-indulgent stream of consciousness, which just adds credence to my feeling that you tink too much.)
Quit tinking so much!

Cheers ...

[topjohn5]

Hi All,
I am arriving in early December and spending about a week in BKK and then 10 days in Pattaya before taking off for 3 weeks in the Philippines.
This is my first trip to Thailand and I am wondering the pros and cons of my potential actions. I am not interested in forming a long distance LT relationship at this point although I am single now and I could. I have been speaking to a couple of guys in BKK and Pattaya from various web sites and chatting with them. Some of them sound very interesting. Well, let me rephrase that last sentence....they sound and look very cute and hot.... The question is do I arrange a date with a local guy in BKK and another maybe in Pattaya for the times of my trip I am in each place? I kind of like the idea of having a guide/date for the first trip. I am not exactly sure if they are money boys or not.....but, I'm sure it will cost me either way, lol. Anyway, the alternative is to check out the bar boy scene and be more of a butterfly but I am affraid I will just off some one for the same amount of time anyway and the only advantage/disadvantage is I will know for sure that he is a money boy. And, if I were to arrange a date or two how would I get out of the long date if it doesn't work out and save face for the guy as well? Also, I have been chatting with a guy from Malaysia and I am concidering flying him to BKK for 1 week. That has an advantage/disadvantage as it has a definate end in BKK and then I am free to go to Pattaya alone.
Ravage me with your thoughts, opinions and comments please.
OK . . . to re-coin an old cliche: YOU TINK TOO MUCH!!! (And you don't make paragraphs within your posts, which makes them difficult to read, which makes them look like self-indulgent stream of consciousness, which just adds credence to my feeling that you tink too much.)
Quit tinking so much!

Cheers ...
Hahaha! Guilty! Paragraphs are overrated! I do love a bit too much Joyce, Beckett and Burroughs though and my fave is Kafka but he never really wrote pure stream did he, just in that style sometimes..... I will attempt to be more in the moment but doubt I will get there in one visit to Thailand, lol.... I usually achieve close to it in either sex or extreme sports which I truly love.

[Brad the Impala]

Remember it is best to be sure[safe] than dead. The HIV status is a worry as many boys who have HIV want to infect farang

Really? Where does your "information" come from?

Remember it is best to be sure[safe] than dead. The HIV status is a worry as many boys who have HIV want to infect farang

Really? Where does your "information" come from?

A red herring, no doubt.
I have heard the urban rumors of HIV + men who wanted to share the virus
with the HIV - men and even some HIV- men who were trying to acquire the virus and become HIV +.

This goes back quite a few years and seems to have been only a very tiny percentage.
It is absurd to think that Thai men want to infect farangs. :aaa:

[Patexpat]

[quote=.
It is absurd to think that Thai men want to infect farangs. :aaa:[/quote]

None the less you must be very stupid not to take the appropriate preventative measures, eh? Esp. here in Patters.

[Smiles]

" ... I do love a bit too much Joyce, Beckett and Burroughs though and my fave is Kafka but he never really wrote pure stream did he(?)... "
I don't know. Perhaps I should consult Mr Cate, who also drops names with the best of them.

Cheers ...

[thrillbill]

If you are fat and ugly, then maybe you should go that route and book your dates ahead of time. It's like ordering a shirt or a paDr of pants on line... the web sight can make the product look great, but once you see it and try it on, you may not like it. don't worry, if you are kind and not a monster, you'll meet someone "live" in LOS.

[topjohn5]

" ... I do love a bit too much Joyce, Beckett and Burroughs though and my fave is Kafka but he never really wrote pure stream did he(?)... "
I don't know. Perhaps I should consult Mr Cate, who also drops names with the best of them.

Cheers ...

Ummmmm, Smiles....I hardly think I am name dropping as I was responding to your comment about stream of consciousness writing. I found your comments very thoughtful actually and humorous for sure since you were chiding me about thinking too much (lol); "...makes them look like self-indulgent stream of consciousness, which just adds credence to my feeling that you tink too much." I actually picked well known authors on purpose so I didn't appear too thoughtful :geek:

[quiet1]

I have heard the urban rumors of HIV + men who wanted to share the virus with the HIV - men and even some HIV- men who were trying to acquire the virus and become HIV +.
Not that it necessarily applies to Thai "boys" and their prospective "clients," but the existence of "bug givers" (HIV+ folks) and "bug chasers" (those actively seeking unsafe sex with HIV+ folks), is not just a rumor. I've seen them on gay.com and gaydar, and I believe there are internet dating sites specializing in "givers" and "chasers." Not exactly my cuppa tea, so please forgive me if I screwed up the terminology and can't provide links to the sites off the top of my head...

[PeterUK]

I have heard the urban rumors of ... even some HIV- men who were trying to acquire the virus and become HIV +.


Yup, and I recall seeing a TV programme a few years ago about men who wanted to have perfectly healthy limbs removed just so they could be amputees. There is no desire you could come up with in your imagination which is so perverse and unlikely that someone somewhere doesn't actually feel it. Why, I hear that there are even men who prefer women as sexual partners...

[netrix]

... The question is do I arrange a date with a local guy in BKK and another maybe in Pattaya for the times of my trip I am in each place? I kind of like the idea of having a guide/date for the first trip. I am not exactly sure if they are money boys or not.....but, I'm sure it will cost me either way, lol. Anyway, the alternative is to check out the bar boy scene and be more of a butterfly but I am affraid I will just off some one for the same amount of time anyway and the only advantage/disadvantage is I will know for sure that he is a money boy. And, if I were to arrange a date or two how would I get out of the long date if it doesn't work out and save face for the guy as well? ....

I've only been to Thailand 4 times, for a 2 or 3 week stay each time. I've always met a
few guys online before arriving in both Bangkok and Pattaya, and have spent time with
them from a few hours to a few days. Some were money boys, some not. I've also met
guys at the bars, beach, etc. while out exploring on my own. Both approaches are fun
and I'd recommend anything that's fun.

I think you'll find that planning a long "date" of a week or more with one person you've
never met before might limit your options, and therefore your fun. If you're not looking
for the LTR, then why spend so much time with one guy? I think on you're first visit
you're pretty much required to be a butterfly anyway. Isn't it a regulation or something?
Save the week-long dates with one guy for your next trip after you've become addicted
and smitten by some boy and you're thinking about changing your whole life and moving
to LOS to live happily ever after.

[paulg]

I strongly advise against a week long attachment with someone you have yet to meet

It can be so restrictive and even a disaster if you have paid airfares and you do not get on

There are so many boys out there enjoy the chase and try before you buy

Just do not get so choosy you go to bed by your self

One of my friends who was violently against paying for sex, tried the boards and chat rooms and had a miserable time

he even was asked for money at babylon

Go for quantity on your first trip

[topjohn5]

Thanks for all the input gentlemen. I decided soon after this post that I would not get a long date for the trip.
I will not plan much and will sample the local guys both paid and not. I always can use the internet as a backup...
Thanks all, from this newby!