Up to you!

[joe552]

One question before I arrive in Pattaya on Saturday (yippee!). How do I say 'up to you' in Thai? I don't speak Thai (know the odd word here or there) but would love to be able to turn this phrase back on a boy at some point. I occasionally find it irritating that I have to make all the decisions, or having made a decision, don't know whether he's happy with it or not. I did this last year - offed a boy for a few days, and on the 3rd said, tonight it's 'up to you', meaning you decide where we eat, where we go after dinner, the whole thing. It worked for a couple of hours then he ran out of ideas.

A minor quibble, I know, and can't wait to be back there.

[llz]

How do I say 'up to you' in Thai?
Taamjai khun or laew tae khun should do (the first one is easier as all three syllabs are middle tone)

[Bob]

I'm not sure if I've ever run into a Thai boy who didn't understand the English phrase "up to you!" So just say it in English (if you say it in Thai, I'll bet a small wager they won't understand you anyway as they'll be "listening" in English).

[joe552]

A good point Bob, and I probably wouldn't remember it anyway when the time came. Just being playful.

And when you do say it you will most likely get a huge smile and it will said right back. No - up to you! Or where you want go? They want you happy mak mak,

P.s - be prepared for karaoke & farm visits if you really mean up to you lol

Usually the boys use the phrase: "Up 2 you!", especially if you ask them on a night out: "Have you any idea where to go tonight?"

Well, if someone answers me with a sigh and an "up 2 you!", I'm over and done.
Of all Thai phrases, "Up 2 you" is the worst, most impolite and most disinterest showing phrase there is.

My friend is using the answer: "I don't know!" which means basically the same, but sounds a lot better.

[joe552]

Thanks Joseph, that's exactly my feeling about the phrase. While I quite like being in charge, it would be nice sometimes if the boys said what they mean. When I ask him where you want to eat and he says 'up to you', I know he doesn't really want to eat Italian. "I don't mind" would even be preferable. The point about saying it back to him in Thai was a little bit of revenge!

if only these damn natives would get a better appreciation of the nuances of the english language! I mean its usually only their third language, they should be able to do a bit better

Thanks Joseph, that's exactly my feeling about the phrase. While I quite like being in charge, it would be nice sometimes if the boys said what they mean. When I ask him where you want to eat and he says 'up to you', I know he doesn't really want to eat Italian.In my experience with Asians generally, "up to you" can mean at least two things. It can mean "Well, if that's what you really want ..." or it can simply mean what it says - "I don't mind, you decide". Either way it's a cultural thing, and with the Thais in particular, since you are doing the inviting that must mean you'll be doing the paying too. He who invites, pays - I learnt that a long time ago. So if you're paying, you get to choose, so "up to you". Even here in Singapore I don't ask yes/no questions any more because the Singaporeans will give me the same "up to you" answer more often than not. The best alternative I've come up with is "I'm thinking about eating Italian food tonight" followed by one of "Do you want to come?", "Have you tried/Do you like Italian food?", "Have you got another idea?". My Malaysian Chinese former boyfriend used to drive me crazy by asking me where I wanted to go (I still paid though!) and then always, but always, suggesting somewhere else (which is where we would finish up, naturally). In the end I would name the first place that came into my head where I did not want to go. It worked like a charm. But if you can't come to grips with the cultural sensitivities behind "up to you" then you won't get on very well in Asia - too confrontational.

[catawampuscat]

Many of us think we are being nice guys by asking the boys what they want to do, where
they want to go and if they are having a good time or like the food or they movie..

Except in rare cases, the boys want to please you, to go where you want to go, to do what you want to do and will tell you whatever they think will make you happy.
In the West, it is not considered impolite to bitch and carp about every movie we see, every meal we eat and every minor incident in our daily lives. Fortunately, the Thais will not tell
us how revolting we look but will poke fun at our ample girths. They will tell you they
like our hairy bodies and pull our arm hairs and think it is sexy.
I think they are just being polite and trying to make conversation.

If a Thai boy was honest about what he wanted to do, it would be to hang out with his
friends or his girlfriend and eating Thai foods rather than the relatively bland food most
of us enjoy nightly. They would certainly rather watch a Thai comedy than a Western
movie with subtitles unless it is an action movie like Spiderman.
Most Thais boys really don't want to sleep with snoring old timers, even with a/c and
a stock kitchen.

Most of the boys want to do what you want to do and hope that in doing so they will make
you happy, that you will want to reward for making you happy and most of the time it works
out just fine. Just don't try to be democratic about every choice of meal and activity and
it tires out the boys to try to figure out what you want.
Now, when the boy pays for the restaurant or the evening activities, then it really is up to them but this usually only happens in yours dreams and frankly you and I would not be the dream
lover in their bed, in my humble opinion anyway.. :cat:

[joe552]

God, do you lot HAVE to make everything such a big deal? My question was answered in the first reply, thanks Ilz!

I know enough about the boys that I just wanted once, for fun, to say 'up to you' in Thai. FOR FUN! Did you miss where I said I was being playful?

I don't need lessons in cultural differences, but thanks anyway.

[giggsy]

it could be worse joe. you could be in a bar in pattaya having to listen to it instead of reading it. oh.. just a minute.. you will be there in a couple of days wont you? doh!!

[bing]

I had a conversation with my Thai friend last time I was in town, after choosing where I wanted to eat for several days I asked him where he wanted to eat. I even mentioned that he was good about eating western food when I know he weould perfer Thai. His reply was, "you here short time, so you choose, I eat Thai when you not here." I ponder often how many times my Thai friends say just the perfect thing, to make music in my head.

[netrix]

one of my thai friends would always say with a laugh, "up to you, follow me."

My Thai friends will happily eat farang style with me. They eat 6 times a day compared to my 2-3 so get their fave Thai dishes anyway.

[anakot]

One of the most intriguing phrases in Thai...

I use 'Laew dtar kuhn' as my 'Up to You" which literally is something like "Already because you" and then sort of loosely translated into something like 'Its already been decided we're just waiting for you to agree with me (& the rest of the world).

So Netrix's 'Up to you, follow me' is right on the money!