What do the boys think of us - customers

Let us have go at it guys

CF, FIIK, WTF are three expressions that spring to mind. I don't care what anyone thinks of me - men, boys or some other example of humankind

[Wesley]

CF, FIIK, WTF are three expressions that spring to mind. I don't care what anyone thinks of me - men, boys or some other example of humankind


As if everyone didn't already know that great truth. Homiturd.

I think most like us are different, I think some may be looking for love, some just money for home , some may even enjoy the sex, I think if they are treated well and with respect they return the same in kind. I have rarely been with a guy more than once that I did not get a call when I got home with a word of thanks, one has kept up with me for now over 6 years. We still email each other and are good friends. I treated him like a friend and lover not just another boy and I got the same in return. I think they are quite human. I susupect they talk about us like we do them. I think we are not just all ATM's. Some of the guys suely tell the others you are a cheap skate or a good tipper. And Some may even mention how the sex was. We do, I expect they are no different.

Great contribution Wesley. Thanks

[Smiles]

" ... I think they are quite human ... "

:cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: I'm sure 'The Boys' would appreciate that observation.

Cheers ...

" ... I think they are quite human ... "

:cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: I'm sure 'The Boys' would appreciate that observation.

Cheers ...

Whilst I am certain Wes that your statement above cane out in a way that wasn't quite what you had intended it to, having the somewhat warped sense of humour that I was blessed with, I must be honest with you in admitting that the way your words did come out, brought more than a chuckle to me, in fact being even more honest with you, I am still in the process of wiping the tears from my eyes. http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk216/ThaiRakThai/4955076.gif


Thanks for the great laugh you gave me Wes in starting my day, even though I know it wasn't intended on your part.


Choc Dee mate, http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk216/ThaiRakThai/4955933.gif


George.

I've been with BF almost 4 years now and he's just started to open up.
Believe me, you really DON'T WANT TO KNOW!

Ignorance is bliss.
Just enjoy Thailand for what it has to offer.

And don't make TRUTH a fetish.

I don't know or care what they think of me. But I know what I think of them: they are prostitutes and nothing else.

...having the somewhat warped sense of humour that I was blessed withIf there was a Trade Descriptions Act in Thailand, George, they'd be after you like a shot
I've been with BF almost 4 years now and he's just started to open up.That's an image that takes some getting over

[Wesley]

" ... I think they are quite human ... "

:cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: I'm sure 'The Boys' would appreciate that observation.

Cheers ...

My intent... you old fart was to say the guys hurt cry and get thier feelings hurt like any one, just becase they are go go boys dosen't make them any less human as some seem to treat them as a piece of red meat to be devoured then shit out. Although my wording was a bit comical, Im sure with your brilliant intellect you wre able to understand my intent.


Geroge glad you got a gpod laugh although at my expense honesstly I really need to read my stuff more closely if I know Smiles is going to read it behnd me looking for any reason to comment. I am glad he has a good time . I like the old fart


Wes

We are customers, someone from whom they can obtain advantage. I don't say that in a negative way. That is simply what the arrangement is.
In general I would say that wherever that 'relationship' goes from there it is still reliant on advantage.

That's not to say that you can't be friends, get to know each other a bit, and maybe you will meet a boy who sees a genuine advantage in you and wants to be with you.
It's probably better for you not to see every nice boy as a genuine advantage.

I am a romantic and I want to fall in love, to have a limerance relationship with someone, (one where they love me back the same).
In reality I think this is not possible with a person who is more than 1/2 my age. Yet I continue on and enjoy the sex, learning along the way; to enjoy the sex. And to be open to, but not starving for, something more.

Sometimes, boys can be quite channelled on the money thing and fail to notice anything more. Because that's what underlies the relationship and it's virtually a pattern of thinking.

And they live in comparative poverty. They would certainly be considered poor where I come from so, the moneys good if you can get it. Homosexuality is not such a taboo. No problem in what they do. (Yet they are still not gonna tell mum and dad, generally, what they do;which demonstrates just how acceptable homosexuality is).

Anyway, I don't think it's an easy life so it must have nice rewards sometimes.

They think of us as walking ATM's. The more they stroke us the better the return.

For safety, I will just go with the comments of my current boyfriend, who is not exactly a blabbermouth. (He is, much more, the master of non-verbal communication.) But he has told me that he was reluctant to become my friend because he had already concluded that farang were lying assholes.

This included, in particular, all those fly-by-night gay tourists who become enamored of a Thai boy and then begin making extravagant promises. ("I will bring you to live in Germany!" "We shall fly around the world!" "I'll put you through medical school!"). The "problem" here was that the boy was actually listening, and listening carefully. He did not yet have enough experience to automatically dismiss such nonsense from people who would disappear two days later. (The average tourist spends three days in Chiang Mai.)

Well, we've been together for about four years now -- he's getting ready for college next year. And I think one of the genuine turning points for him was when he met my FORMER boyfriend, and suddenly realized I was not all talk with no deeds.

In fact, we may even be travelling to Europe during the next term break. There are a few advantages to turning 62, and one of them is that U.S. Social Security kicks in. I most DEFINITELY want to take him to Florence!!!! Doesn't that sound like fun?

[Wesley]

" ... I think they are quite human ... "

:cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: I'm sure 'The Boys' would appreciate that observation.

Cheers ...

You old fart, do you catch everything, I feel like I have to get my secretary to proof read my posts.

Wes

[Brad the Impala]

I most DEFINITELY want to take him to Florence!!!! Doesn't that sound like fun?

It was fantastic fun! I have been before, but my pleasure this time was quadrupled by showing Florence, and Lucca, Venice, Lake Garda etc to my bf this year. His appreciation and enthisasm thawed even this jaded old fart and enabled me to see it all again with new eyes.

I have always loved Florence, and Italy, and hope that he will enjoy it as much as your guy?

Any suggestions as to where to stay in Florence?

[Brad the Impala]

I have always loved Florence, and Italy, and hope that he will enjoy it as much as your guy?

Any suggestions as to where to stay in Florence?

We were there in August, and as there were too many tourists to make ourstay comfortable we stayed in a simple B&B that was fine
for one night, that I wouldn't wholly recomend ! Easy to do better, I think if you stay for longer. If you are going in High Season, you may find, as I did certainly, that less publicised places like Orvietto and Luca pay greater dividends. That said we did find an entertaining gay bar in Florence called Piccolo.

[Beachlover]

I've been with BF almost 4 years now and he's just started to open up.
Believe me, you really DON'T WANT TO KNOW!

Ignorance is bliss.
Just enjoy Thailand for what it has to offer.

And don't make TRUTH a fetish.

Takes 4 years to open up??!! that's half a decade...

[Beachlover]

We are customers, someone from whom they can obtain advantage. I don't say that in a negative way. That is simply what the arrangement is.
In general I would say that wherever that 'relationship' goes from there it is still reliant on advantage.

That's not to say that you can't be friends, get to know each other a bit, and maybe you will meet a boy who sees a genuine advantage in you and wants to be with you.
It's probably better for you not to see every nice boy as a genuine advantage.

I am a romantic and I want to fall in love, to have a limerance relationship with someone, (one where they love me back the same).
In reality I think this is not possible with a person who is more than 1/2 my age. Yet I continue on and enjoy the sex, learning along the way; to enjoy the sex. And to be open to, but not starving for, something more.

Sometimes, boys can be quite channelled on the money thing and fail to notice anything more. Because that's what underlies the relationship and it's virtually a pattern of thinking.

And they live in comparative poverty. They would certainly be considered poor where I come from so, the moneys good if you can get it. Homosexuality is not such a taboo. No problem in what they do. (Yet they are still not gonna tell mum and dad, generally, what they do;which demonstrates just how acceptable homosexuality is).

Anyway, I don't think it's an easy life so it must have nice rewards sometimes.

I think if you do fall into a genuine relationship with a boy half your age... ie. in late teens or early 20s... it's likely they'll ALSO want to see you as an older male role model type figure. This is something most boys crave.... to have guidance, support and the knowledge that they'll be taken care of. They might also want someone they can "push the limits" and experiment with.

Having said that, I have zero experience in any of this.... so anyone with experience can override my suggestion.

We are customers, someone from whom they can obtain advantage. I don't say that in a negative way. That is simply what the arrangement is.
In general I would say that wherever that 'relationship' goes from there it is still reliant on advantage.

That's not to say that you can't be friends, get to know each other a bit, and maybe you will meet a boy who sees a genuine advantage in you and wants to be with you.
It's probably better for you not to see every nice boy as a genuine advantage.

I am a romantic and I want to fall in love, to have a limerance relationship with someone, (one where they love me back the same).
In reality I think this is not possible with a person who is more than 1/2 my age. Yet I continue on and enjoy the sex, learning along the way; to enjoy the sex. And to be open to, but not starving for, something more.

Sometimes, boys can be quite channelled on the money thing and fail to notice anything more. Because that's what underlies the relationship and it's virtually a pattern of thinking.

And they live in comparative poverty. They would certainly be considered poor where I come from so, the moneys good if you can get it. Homosexuality is not such a taboo. No problem in what they do. (Yet they are still not gonna tell mum and dad, generally, what they do;which demonstrates just how acceptable homosexuality is).

Anyway, I don't think it's an easy life so it must have nice rewards sometimes.

I think if you do fall into a genuine relationship with a boy half your age... ie. in late teens or early 20s... it's likely they'll ALSO want to see you as an older male role model type figure. This is something most boys crave.... to have guidance, support and the knowledge that they'll be taken care of. They might also want someone they can "push the limits" and experiment with.

Having said that, I have zero experience in any of this.... so anyone with experience can override my suggestion.

Well, I've had some experience, and have enjoyed it. I am well aware that many people on this board have a very hard time believing that a younger guy can love an older guy. But what about the poor boy who grew up without a genuine father? In this case, they may definitely be looking for an older guy, someone who has time to spare for them, who cares about their problems, and will help them fix their bike. And, in this case, it is not helpful to try to dress like a teenager or appear younger than you are. They aren't looking for that. They can find all that easily in their own peer set, and generally know just how shallow it is, even if it is fun.

Another thing I don't think we appreciate is that the sex can be really fun for them. It's not based on your beauty, but frequently on the thought, "Do you have any idea how g*d-dammed sexy it is when you realize that you are the Absolute Ideal of your partner, and you know you are the star of the show, and that just about anything you do turns him on?" :-)

There is also a genuine human tendency to like those people whom we need. Put all of this together, and genuine limerence can result. I am currently trying to deal with this ( :-) ) with a young man who is not my lover. I've known him for a long time, he's a happy and very sexy young guy, a Burmese refugee who openly confesses his attraction to both sexes -- he is also dynamite in bed and keeps saying that he loves me.

Maybe he runs around bad-mouthing me to all of his buddies, but somehow I doubt it. :-)

[joe552]

What does this word " limerence" mean?

What does this word " limerence" mean?

It's a fancy-pants term for "erotic" or "romantic," which actually used to mean the same thing!

[Marsilius]

But "erotic" and "romantic" are adjectives.... Whereas you used "limerence" in your previous post as a noun. So I, for one, am none the wiser (and not even any better informed!)

[joe552]

So all my life I've been searching for "limerence" - no wonder I'm still alone. How easily does that translate to Thai?

What does this word " limerence" mean?

It's a fancy-pants term for "erotic" or "romantic," which actually used to mean the same thing!

For someone who professes some knowledge of linguistics and to be a teacher of English, this is woefully and totally incorrect.

Limerence was a term coined in the 70's by the American psychiatrist Dorothy Tennov. It is summed up as "a powerful and constantly distracting and obsessive infatuation" involving preoccupation with the "love object" bordering on obsessive compulsive disorder and "a remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in the limerent object and to avoid dwelling on the negative or render it into another positive attribute". It is hardly "erotic" or "romantic", particularly as sexual interaction in this condition is generally a fantasy; while it sounds remarkably like what HC has it may not be what HC wants to have - particularly as Tennov cosidered that limerence is inherently temporary, lasting no more than three years!!

But "erotic" and "romantic" are adjectives.... Whereas you used "limerence" in your previous post as a noun. So I, for one, am none the wiser (and not even any better informed!)

How could you be better informed? Is that possible?

I don't think so.

[Marsilius]

But "erotic" and "romantic" are adjectives.... Whereas you used "limerence" in your previous post as a noun. So I, for one, am none the wiser (and not even any better informed!)

How could you be better informed? Is that possible?

I don't think so.

For anyone who is unaware of the reference, F.E. Smith, first Earl of Birkenhead (1872-1930), was a barrister who was well known for his dry wit. After he had once given an account in court of a very complex case, the rather slow-witted judge responded to him: "I am sorry, Mr. Smith, but I regret that I am none the wiser." "Possibly, my lord," F.E. Smith replied, "but you now are better informed."

Let us have go at it guys

Put it this way. You are 20 years old, away from home, no money, and a fat old foreigner offers you money to go with him.

What would you think?

"Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, as long he only visits twice a year"

If you want the truth why not ask a prostitute in your own country? They think about the money.
It pays the rent, it buys the drugs etc etc etc.

Let us have go at it guys

Put it this way. You are 20 years old, away from home, no money, and a fat old foreigner offers you money to go with him.

What would you think?

"Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, as long he only visits twice a year"

If you want the truth why not ask a prostitute in your own country? They think about the money.
It pays the rent, it buys the drugs etc etc etc.

Well, let's put it another way. You're 20 years old and a refugee from the Burmese government (or rural poverty), and you have tentatively decided that you need an older and wealthier mate to be your "patron." (Think Godfather: padrone.) You have, perhaps, some friends who have sucessfully managed this transition: life is not a bed of roses for them, but at the very least they have a secure place to go to, a place to sleep, a TV, good clean food to eat, access to school fees and -- not least -- they have an older guy who loves them, and who is available for questions night and day.

You have been told that one of the surest and fastest ways to make this happen is to go to work as a bar-host, which advertises your availability. You soon learn that a lot of the customers are completely uninterested in you and your story, and you start to get disillusioned. But then one of your buddies pulls it off and "goes off forever." You hear reports back that he's happily in college now.

And then, over a period of 2-3 months, it happens to you. To your surprise, it's a nice Thai boy from a rather wealthy family, but he's serious and you slowly realize that you are too. In another year or three, you may even find that you have been "RUINED!"


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"O 'Melia, my dear, this does everything crown!
Who could have supposed I should meet you in Town?
And whence such fair garments, such prosperi-ty?"
"O didn't you know I'd been ruined?" said she.

"You left us in tatters, without shoes or socks,
Tired of digging potatoes, and spudding up docks;
And now you've gay bracelets and bright feathers three!"
"Yes: that's how we dress when we're ruined," said she.

-"At home in the barton you said 'thee' and 'thou,'
And 'thik oon,' and 'the├дs oon,' and 't'other'; but now
Your talking quite fits 'ee for high compa-ny!"
"Some polish is gained with one's ruin," said she.

"Your hands were like paws then, your face blue and bleak
But now I'm bewitched by your delicate cheek,
And your little gloves fit as on any la-dy!"
"We never do work when we're ruined," said she.

"You used to call home-life a hag-ridden dream,
And you'd sigh, and you'd sock; but at present you seem
To know not of megrims or melancho-ly!"
"True. One's pretty lively when ruined," said she.

"I wish I had feathers, a fine sweeping gown,
And a delicate face, and could strut about Town!"
"My dear a raw country girl, such as you be,
Cannot quite expect that. You ain't ruined," said she.
---Thomas Hardy