What should a Boy call us Farangs

[Dodger]

After reading the post entitled: тАЬBOYFRIEND OR BOY FOR RENTтАЭ I found myself daydreaming a bit and asking myself what the proper names for us farangs would be based on a working boyтАЩs perspective.

Based on the nature of the responses in the BOYFRIEND OR BOY FOR RENT post, it appears that the many of you agree that a farang should refer to these boys as either Rent Boys or HoтАЩs, or more specifically, as Prostitutes or Whores. Some of you also seem to get annoyed when a farang (like me) uses the term Boyfriend in place of one of these more logical and intellectual characterizations.

I wish I had a better command of the Thai language, as it would be more fun to be able to list the different names (or characterizations) the Thai boys have for us, but I guess IтАЩll just have to improvise. They also give us names (and characterizations) by the use of body language, hand signals and a myriad of different smile types, which makes this task a bit more difficult, but here goes:

THE SHORT TIME HARRY
The farang who bounces from bar-to-bar and-boy-to-boy like a mechanical wind-up doll. HeтАЩs OK for a one time hit and a decent tip, but donтАЩt even bother telling him your name because heтАЩs only interested in your number. If you comb your hair differently and wear a different style of under pants on the stage the next night, you may just fool him into thinking youтАЩre someone else and get lucky for a second off. Not likely, but itтАЩs worth a chance.

THE SLEEPING BUFFALO
The farang who asks the mamasan a million questions about your sexual identity and the services you will provide, then gets you home and doesnтАЩt have the stamina to pull his own zipper down. If youтАЩre lucky, he may even fall asleep before heтАЩs completely disrobed. Usually a decent tipper, but pull those grey hairs of your teeth before you return to the bar.

THE WANDERING CASSANOVA
The farang who thinks heтАЩs a sexual magnet on the same level as Brad Pitt when he stumbles into the bar. HeтАЩs an easy target because he truly believes that you are turned on by him and usually responds to all this attention by leaving big tips. Be careful though, because this is the guy who likes to pull your cock out in front of everybody as a show of his sexual prowess. Easy to spot, because he wanders around the dusty sois of Sunee Plaza draped in gold and diamond decorations and a skin tight silk shirt appearing as if he just left a Liberace concert.

THE DRUNKEN NAZI
The farang who spends his afternoons fondling 9 y/o boys in the back alleys, and then stumbles around drunk at night wearing filthy clothes and smelling like the back end of an elephant. DonтАЩt even bother taking a shower when youтАЩre with one of these clowns, just brace yourself for a long night. This guy is going to blame you for stealing his watch when he sobers up the next morning, so you may as well just take the dam thing anyway. These guys are also terrible tippers, and will sometimes try to stiff you all together, so ask him up front how much heтАЩs going to pay you. Just hold your nose tightly and remember, youтАЩre doing this for momma.

THE COUNTRY GENTLEMAN
The farang who acts very jaidee, dresses neatly, and conducts himself in a polite and conservative manner. This farangтАЩs a good bet because he tips over-the-average, doesnтАЩt expect too much in the sack, and may even buy you a new mobile before he leaves town. He doesnтАЩt have the desire or staying power to stay up late at night, so itтАЩs a safe bet that youтАЩll have his tip money in your pocket and be off to the karaoke while itтАЩs still early.

THE KINKY KOYOTE
The farang who appears as normal as the guy next door, but once the door to the room is closed, he transitions into a fucking lunatic. This farang is a real bottom-dweller and somehow escaped the clutches of his psychiatrist to make the trip to LOS to unleash his sick and perverse acts on anyone in his path. It doesnтАЩt matter how much he tips, itтАЩs not worth itтАжnot even for momma.

END OF LIST

Well, I guess I could keep this up all night, but IтАЩm starting to get drowsy.

Yes, the boys read us just like we read them, and tag us with these types of names and characterizations without us even knowing it. I guess the reason they donтАЩt call us by these names is to avoid offending us. Even after a long night of entertaining the Sleeping Buffalos and dodging the Kinky Koyotes, they just resign themselves to giving us a polite wai and a friendly smile as they make their way to the noodle stand for a bite to eat.

My boyfriend spent 2 ┬╜ years earning a living in the cesspool of characters I just described and has earned my deepest respect for having endured it. You can refer to him as a Rent Boy, a Ho, a Prostitute or a Whore all you want, but it may be a good idea not to do it in front of me.

Mai pen rai

DELETED

[jolyjacktar]

Nice one Dodger. Brought a smile to my face

[Smiles]

" ... THE DRUNKEN NAZI: This guy is going to blame you for stealing his watch when he sobers up the next morning, so you may as well just take the damn thing anyway ... "
Best description I've heard in some time. And GREAT advice. :cheers:

Cheers ...

[Beachlover]

LOL... love it Dodger... thanks!

Like the "walking casanova" description... these are everywhere (not just in Thailand).... they get on my nerves because they look at me like a piece of meat and expect you to think they are nothing else but sexy...

lol... "remember you're doing this for momma"...

The end of the sleeping buffalo description... *shudders*

[thrillbill]

I agree... aging ATM machine; stupid water buffalo; or "rich farang"or "sexy man" (NOT)

Have you ever heard us farang called " a good #uck"?

I guess the reason they donтАЩt call us by these names is to avoid offending us.

They do - it is just that we are generally not party to their "chats", just as they are not party to ours, and their descriptions are rather more imaginative. I am reliably informed that "Walking Wallet" and "Walking ATM" are very much the farang interpretation of what they think, no more.

Try "tao sunee" or "tao jomtien", or the more general "farang khee-nok" as starting points.

In most cases 'stupid' would suffice

[Smiles]

" ... "Walking Wallet" and "Walking ATM" are very much the farang interpretation of what they think, no more ... "
Probably more true than not. Our cliches about "knowing" Thai guys make us chuckle (I guess), possibly feel somewhat superior in certain instances, but I doubt they contain much more truth than that. I have experienced (yep, 'first hand') much more evidence of loyalty, protection, and tenderness (towards myself) than I have toward the Walking ATM syndrome.
Most Thai guys beyond 20 or so (a number taken out of a hat, so little should one make generalizations here) can easily exhibit levels of depth and sincerity which are quite warming (perhaps even foreign to some of you by the sounds of it), without an extra few baht being the bait.

If some farangs insist on not believing that, and stick to the easy, more cliched expectations, then they are the losers.

Cheers ...

They love a good kind hearted farang , these tend not to settle in Thailand ! :clown:

[yedo111]

They love a good kind hearted farang , these tend not to settle in Thailand ! :clown:

They told me I was nice farang with a good heart until I told them I stay Thailand long time. Still a good heart but suddenly its more complicated for them when I stay here long time .
I wonder why.....

[Smiles]

" ... They told me I was nice farang with a good heart until I told them I stay Thailand long time. Still a good heart but suddenly its more complicated for them when I stay here long time . I wonder why ..."
Because you lied?

Cheers ...

[catawampuscat]

I have heard from several sources where the man knows English and Thai languages fluently, that most times you would not
want to hear what the Thai boy says about the farang.
To our faces they call us phom puey and tell us we look like we are pregnant with baby due any minute. If you are really fat, then they
tell you you must have twins in the oven.
We console ourselves that the Thai boys actually like obese men just like we believe age is not a factor and they actually find
men in their 60's and 70's sexually desirable. Fact is that if they can't handle the fat and wrinkles, they get out of the business fast..

Since most of their customers are old men and when you are 18 or 22, even 40 is an old man but when the farang is older than your
own father and sometimes older than your grandfather, of course he is old.
The jerks who think they look 10 years younger than their actual age are still old to the boys and one old fool I knew,
actually had a face lift to look younger but the boys said why did he do that?,
he is old already!

I don't believe the boys talk too much about our weight and age as old and fat are commonplace but do talk about how cheap or generous
the farang is.
The vast majority of us are vanilla and relatively undemanding (based on my knowledge of hundreds of farangs over the years, but not scientific)
but the exceptions are discussed, especially if brutal or cruel and if hurt a boy, it will be known and you will be lucky not to beaten by a gang
of his friends (fortunately quite rare, again unscientific observation).

I was in a beer bar recently where a farang complained to the owner that a boy he had offed before didn't want to sit with him for a drink and
he wanted to know why. The farang owner told him that the boy probably had a date later that evening with another customer, which might have
been the case but it appears to this observer that the farang was a disgusting asshole and the boy was repulsed by the sight of him.. His attempt to
get the boy in trouble with the boss is just more evidence but his appearance was rank..

To sum it all up, the Thai boys are exactly like the farangs..
Some speak well of everyone and never bitch and some bitch bitch bitch and never stop complaining about the food, the prices, the boys, the
heat, the traffic, the loudness, the well you get the idea :idea:

[Dodger]

Cat...Quote:


I have heard from several sources where the man knows English and Thai languages fluently, that most times you would not
want to hear what the Thai boy says about the farang.

I agree.

In retrospect, the Thai boys we interact with are no different than young boys in any other country or culture when it comes to this. Us, as the older adults, are viewed as being off-the-mark...behind-the-times...past history...boring...living in another sphere. This being the case, they would naturally talk about us (and categorize us) in somewhat negative terms for this very reason. I remember reading something by Kahlil Gibran once where he said that adults should not try to teach the young, but conversely, observe them, learn from them, and allow them to guide us, as life moves forward, not backwards. Admittedly, this is a tough proposition, especially when you're hooked on one and trying to build some type of relationship, and he flips on the cartoons in the morning, when all you want to do is sip a cup of coffee and read the newspaper, but that's just the way it goes.

Not all Thai boys talk bad about all farangs. I think the term "jaidee" is somewhat understated, or misunderstood by some farangs. We all know that "money" is a huge factor, and the term "jaidee" is used commonly when a farang tips generously, but I believe the Thais see someone as being truly jaidee, when he (or she) acknowledges the reality of their existence and makes an effort to help them. Not for anything in return, but just to help them out of the goodness of his (or hers) heart.

I offed a boy once for 5 days to take him home to visit his family up in Chang Rai. My motives, at first, were aimed solely at having a few days of wild sex up in a cooler climate and splish splashing in a few of those waterfalls along the way. This, being my first exposure to true Thai life styles really set me back a bit. His family was beyond poor. For our welcoming dinner they served a bowl of these little red beans they picked off of a bush somewhere and a few bowls of rice. They just sat around staring at me, probably wondering what a Martian like me was doing there in the first place. I asked the boy what we could do to show his family a good time when we were there, and he responded by saying his father would love to see the ocean. Well, it turned out that the ocean he was referring to was actually the Mekong River, which was only a two hour truck ride from where we were sitting. I aborted my plans for spending all my time alone with the boy doing the wild thing, in place of spending the next four days hosting the entire family to a trip to the Mekong. I loaded them on a long boat and we spend the first day exploring the river. Then we crossed into Laos, visited an ancient Burmese style wat, and ended up having a small feast at some little thatched-roof restaurant along the shore.

I purchased a few gifts for them along the way and had all the kids running around with squirt guns. I slipped the boys father 2,000 baht for his pocket before we departed. No big financial donation...no new house...just a little money to help make life a bit easier for the next week or so.

When the boy and I returned to PTY - I met him later that night in the gogo bar where he worked. When I first walked in I noticed a completely different type of smile on his friends faces. The mamasan and a few of his friends immediately came to sit next to me filled will comments about how nice it was for me to do that for the boys family. I had never heard that term "jaidee" used as frequently, and earnestly, as it was that night. I left the bar with a sense that this is what they are really looking for. Not necessarily a big spending farang with an open wallet..not a walking ATM, but just someone who understands their hardships and has the compassion to want to help a little.

Most of the farangs I've met (not scientific, but just based on my own experiences) could care less about how the Thais actually live, and only exist to feed their own hunger. They visit (or live) in Thailand taking what they want or need in a mist of fog totally blind to their surroundings. They view the working Thai boys simply as "whores" and insist on rationalizing, intellectualizing, minimizing or totally de-focusing from the real issues. I also believe (again, not scientific) that what goes around - comes around, and when the boys refer to a farang as being "a walking ATM'", it's my opinion that these are the guys they're talking about. What better characterization is there for the Short Time Harry than..."a walking ATM. ? I think the boys are spot on. There life goes again, refusing to move backwards.

[Brad the Impala]

Excellent Dodger!

Actually it's my experience that when a group of guys who work in the bars gather to chat, they are as likely to talk about their current and planned "giks", as they are about their customers, and probably talk in more detail about the giks.

[catawampuscat]

Nice to agree with Brad again and kudos to dodger on his story of his trip to see the boys family and his generous
help to a very poor family. jai dee indeed !! :cat:

[Beachlover]

I offed a boy once for 5 days to take him home to visit his family up in Chang Rai. My motives, at first, were aimed solely at having a few days of wild sex up in a cooler climate and splish splashing in a few of those waterfalls along the way. This, being my first exposure to true Thai life styles really set me back a bit. His family was beyond poor. For our welcoming dinner they served a bowl of these little red beans they picked off of a bush somewhere and a few bowls of rice. They just sat around staring at me, probably wondering what a Martian like me was doing there in the first place. I asked the boy what we could do to show his family a good time when we were there, and he responded by saying his father would love to see the ocean. Well, it turned out that the ocean he was referring to was actually the Mekong River, which was only a two hour truck ride from where we were sitting. I aborted my plans for spending all my time alone with the boy doing the wild thing, in place of spending the next four days hosting the entire family to a trip to the Mekong. I loaded them on a long boat and we spend the first day exploring the river. Then we crossed into Laos, visited an ancient Burmese style wat, and ended up having a small feast at some little thatched-roof restaurant along the shore.

I purchased a few gifts for them along the way and had all the kids running around with squirt guns. I slipped the boys father 2,000 baht for his pocket before we departed. No big financial donation...no new house...just a little money to help make life a bit easier for the next week or so.

When the boy and I returned to PTY - I met him later that night in the gogo bar where he worked. When I first walked in I noticed a completely different type of smile on his friends faces. The mamasan and a few of his friends immediately came to sit next to me filled will comments about how nice it was for me to do that for the boys family. I had never heard that term "jaidee" used as frequently, and earnestly, as it was that night. I left the bar with a sense that this is what they are really looking for. Not necessarily a big spending farang with an open wallet..not a walking ATM, but just someone who understands their hardships and has the compassion to want to help a little.

.

Wow... I really enjoyed reading this, thanks Dodger. Sounds like you've had some amazing experiences and insight in Thailand. I would love to get to right out into the real villages and countryside of Thailand.

Haha... I like the image of splish splashing in a few waterfalls along the way.

[Beachlover]

Dodger... you should write a book or something about your experience in Thailand. You have some amazing stories to tell... and some very un-PC insight too! Maybe write a story like Silom Farang has in his blog (not complete). I love reading about the stuff you've done and experienced.

Deleted duplicate post

Most of the farangs I've met (not scientific, but just based on my own experiences) could care less about how the Thais actually live, and only exist to feed their own hunger. They visit (or live) in Thailand taking what they want or need in a mist of fog totally blind to their surroundings. They view the working Thai boys simply as "whores" and insist on rationalizing, intellectualizing, minimizing or totally de-focusing from the real issues. I also believe (again, not scientific) that what goes around - comes around ...

Dodger, one of the truest things I have read on this board - sadly also true about many (but by no means all) of those posting here.

[Khor tose]

Cat, Dodger thank you for taking the time to put down your thoughts. I've learned from both of your articles, and completely enjoyed them. You are very introspective Cat, and you are a real sweetheat Dodger. Thanks again.

[joe552]

Very good piece, Dodger, thanks. Had a similar experience with the first (and only) guy I fell in love with in Pattaya. Second or third visit he took me for a week up in Sisaket with his family (me staying in a hotel, tho') them taking me out every day to drive sometimes a couple of hours to a particularly interesting spot. Saw Preah Vihear with them (including the grandfather - amazing). Our leaving reminded me of pictures I've seen of emigration from Ireland during Famine times in 1840s. My gift was a тВм500 motorbike for his father. We then went on to spend a few days in BKK (just the 2 of us). We'd already stopped having sex, since he'd admitted he preferred girls, so we went to a couple of girlie bars - had great fun!

I've lost touch but still hope to track him down when I'm there next month.

[yedo111]

A 500тВм motorbike for his father. And he's not your BF , he's straight ?

If you do this just to be popular with the family, what will you gain from this personally?
Maybe a smile from all the family members , its easy when you show them money.

[joe552]

Yedo, I don't give gifts to "gain personally". The family had already been very kind and welcoming to me, and the few days I spent with them are among the best I've ever had. My friend was a great companion - the only Thai guy I've met with whom I could laugh and joke. Even if I don't manage to see him again, I'll always value the time we spent together.

Yedo, I don't give gifts to "gain personally". The family had already been very kind and welcoming to me, and the few days I spent with them are among the best I've ever had. My friend was a great companion - the only Thai guy I've met with whom I could laugh and joke. Even if I don't manage to see him again, I'll always value the time we spent together.

A lot of people seem to think that gifts are given to "gain personally." The proper word there would be "bribe."

But, beware! A lot of Thais seem to have the strange idea that gifts are actually given to them. If you buy a guitar for a boy, and later discover that he sold it, you may get angry -- and thereby demonstrate that the gift was not really given.

Ditto ditto ditto for gold chains etc.

[globalwanderer]

Yedo, I don't give gifts to "gain personally". The family had already been very kind and welcoming to me, and the few days I spent with them are among the best I've ever had. My friend was a great companion - the only Thai guy I've met with whom I could laugh and joke. Even if I don't manage to see him again, I'll always value the time we spent together.

A lot of people seem to think that gifts are given to "gain personally." The proper word there would be "bribe."

But, beware! A lot of Thais seem to have the strange idea that gifts are actually given to them. If you buy a guitar for a boy, and later discover that he sold it, you may get angry -- and thereby demonstrate that the gift was not really given.

Ditto ditto ditto for gold chains etc.

spot on

If I give a Thai a gift, then it his to do with as he wishes, including sell ...

[jimnbkk]

The answer in my mind is to never give a Thai boy anything but money. No matter how badly they say they want something (cell phone for example), chances are they'll sell it. And, they won't get anything like you paid for it, so you get more bang for the buck (so to speak) by just giving them money.

[Alaan]

Well i have to partially disagree with jimnbkkas..as i think not every gift will be sold if it is something actually useful.... i have sometimes given gifts in the past... the largest was on my last visit and that was to give my friend a refridgerator for his room... i spent quite alot of time in his room during my visit and it was something i felt he would find useful..no going back and fore to buy bags of ice.. able to stock up on water/cola/milk without having to go to the shop everytime to get cold versions.. especially as [unusually]there was no shop closeby. I spoke with him first about what kind of gift would be most appreciated and he was delighted with the fridge.

To another very good friend i gave a standard desk/floor fan..it cost Bt399 we used it when sitting outside his room for watching the world go by with a beer or when playing our guitars in comfort and with little mozzi disruption.. a year later he still has it and it works fine.

One other gift i have given is a cd/dvd/vcd player which hooks up to the tv..a few hundred baht.. and now worth its weight in gold as far as my friend is concerned..he would NEVER sell it.. for most thai boys music and movies are a way of life and they cannot afford to go to the Cinema complexes too often.. they can invite friends round.... chip-in for a few cheap beers and have an enjoyable night.... so you can give a gift that is very useful that if they had the money instead would probably not think of buying themselves..yet when they do have an item such as the cd/dvd player they wonder how they could have ever lived without it.

The point of these gifts being ......in the case of the fan...... it is eqivalent to 2 hours enjoyment at a disco and the dvd less than the cost of an evenings entertainment with friends so the value/enjoyment per baht i think is good value..especially as when they have cash..there is the usual pressure from friends to use it for sanook. At least these types of gifts last a long time and would not usually be considered for selling. When i am visiting thailand on holiday i think nothing of shelling out bt3000-bt5000 for a night at Hollywood and Dude... about 5 years worth of fridge use.

I don't often give gifts...and none of the above were asked for or demanded, but if i feel a guy or a situation warrents it and is appreciative i will sometimes offer something to make their time in their room a little more bearable. But i do agree with globalwanderer that once you have given the gift........ you have to accept that you do so unconditionally....... it is their's to do with as they wish. But that is only my opinion.