Having the blues, my love went home again :(

[sjaak327]

Yeah, it sucks. My Lao boyfriend of 4 years, today went back to Bangkok. He has been with me again for 90 days (the 4th time since october 2006). Except for 8 days, which I had to spend abroad for work, we have been together for this somewhat extensive period (in fact, it's over before you know it).

Each time, he going home is something I dread. Especially when I come home to an empty house. Nobody to cook for me, no thai/lao music from sanook.com, nobody telling me to put the TV volume down, because the woman next door might complain, nobody to nag me about going to the local bar at 10 PM sharp. Just silence.

The immigration laws in the Netherlands are to blame for all of this. I know he can do an exam, which would enable us to get a provisional stay. Without him passing the exam, he cannot apply for provisional stay, and needs to apply for a tourist visa (90 days in NL, 90 days out and the cycle continues).

From the first time he came to visit me, he did learn Dutch, and this time around, he was offered a job (he isn't supposed to be working on a tourist visa, but we have taken this risk), and his Dutch improved beyond belief, apparently it's much better to be forced to use it in the flesh so to speak, as from a bunch of books. Anyway, it's bloody silent in my appartment, and while he is still in the air, no phone contact either. Of course in 7 weeks, I'll be going to Thailand (and Laos, Cambodia and maybe Malaysia this time), so we can be together again for 3 weeks, then it's anoter 3 weeks and he will be back in the Netherlands. Counting the days already.

Just a whinge from a silent appartment.

Know how you feel. My BF has just gone back to Thailand. Couldn't find him a job in UK, even as a cleaner. I probably just don't know the right places to look, but we'll have another go next year. In UK, you don't have to take the test until you apply for the indefinite visa after 2 years. The test here is just damned silly. I wouldn't pass without plenty of study first, nor would most of the native population. samples: how many members of the sScottish parliament are there? What was the population of Wales in 2005? What proportion of first time voters cast their vote in the 2001 general election? In what year did married women gain the right to divorce?

Kind of puts all the griping about Thai immigration requirements for farangs in perspective, don't ya think?

[Lunchtime O'Booze]

"Each time, he going home is something I dread. Especially when I come home to an empty house."

does he take the furniture with him ??

I'm serious-I had a friend in Tangier in Morocco who had to have every stick of furniture , stereo, TV etc. cemented in place as his Moroccon overnight visitors always left in the morning with a momento.

[PeterUK]

his Moroccon overnight visitors always left in the morning with a momento.

Momento: a souvenir acquired on the spur of the moment. I like it.

[Beachlover]

ROFL... "left with a momento"

[quote="Homesick"In UK, you don't have to take the test until you apply for the indefinite visa after 2 years. [/quote]

Things seem to change constantly, but isn't the "test" you refer to for British citizenship rather than for a visa?

You have to take the test either to get citizenship or indefinite leave to remain. It is possible to get a second extension of stay visa without passing the test, but you would be expected to have tried and failed and be after more time to try again. Moreover, each visa cost 600 pounds (1,200 dollars), including the initial 3 month visa to come to the UK in the first place (plus another 150 pounds or so for an x-ray and medical). You also have to come to Bangkok twice (submission + interview) so there are tavel and accomodation costs as well. Getting indefinite leave to remain in UK will cost overall at least 2,500 pounds, maybe more.

" Nobody to cook for me,"

Oh you poor thing! i suggest you get of your butt and learn to cook then, is he your house boy? NO!! i see he's your boyfriend! So if its a relationship you should cook for him too or is that too low a job for you dude.
I suppose you have him scrubing out the toilet and taking the garbage out then when hes done you might have him washing your smalls, oh and what are you doing meantime???? I would imagine laying on your sun lounger with a pims in one hand and a property news in the other. :albino: heheheheheheheheeh : :faroah:

[sjaak327]

Kind of puts all the griping about Thai immigration requirements for farangs in perspective, don't ya think?

At first sight, yes, but looking a little bit further, once you have obtained provisional stay, you can work (without workpermit, and no restricted occupations), you can own land, you can even vote (for instance for the city council).

So even though the initial hurdle is much bigger, once you're in, you are treated as a proper citizen.


does he take the furniture with him ??

LOL, that made my day, no he didn't, it's not an empty house in the strict sense, just more empty then before.



Oh you poor thing! i suggest you get of your butt and learn to cook then, is he your house boy? NO!! i see he's your boyfriend! So if its a relationship you should cook for him too or is that too low a job for you dude.
I suppose you have him scrubing out the toilet and taking the garbage out then when hes done you might have him washing your smalls, oh and what are you doing meantime???? I would imagine laying on your sun lounger with a pims in one hand and a property news in the other. heheheheheheheheeh :

We do most things together, except cooking, as it's his profession not mine, I mean I suck at cooking, he doesn't. Some things you do together, and some things are left to the one that does them best. (I mean if there is a computer problem, I fix it, not my boyfriend, just to name a thing).

Luckily he has made me some kapow kung (three portions), put if in the freezer, so the only thing I need to do is cook the rice, which I'm sure I'll manage.

Kind of puts all the griping about Thai immigration requirements for farangs in perspective, don't ya think?

At first sight, yes, but looking a little bit further, once you have obtained provisional stay, you can work (without workpermit, and no restricted occupations), you can own land, you can even vote (for instance for the city council).

So even though the initial hurdle is much bigger, once you're in, you are treated as a proper citizen.



Get real! A farang can come to Thailand without any qualifications whatsoever, and stay forever as a visa runner without any qualifications whatsoever.

"Once they've obtained provisional stay"....don't make me laugh. It's hard enough for a Thai just to get to most Western countries as a simple tourist. The hurdles they must jump to be able to stay there permanently are extremely daunting.

How many farangs do you know who would be able to pass a Thai equivalent (in Thai, of course) of the test that Thais must take to obtain permission for provisional stay? Don't make me laugh.

[sjaak327]

Get real! A farang can come to Thailand without any qualifications whatsoever, and stay forever as a visa runner without any qualifications whatsoever.

"Once they've obtained provisional stay"....don't make me laugh. It's hard enough for a Thai just to get to most Western countries as a simple tourist. The hurdles they must jump to be able to stay there permanently are extremely daunting.

How many farangs do you know who would be able to pass a Thai equivalent (in Thai, of course) of the test that Thais must take to obtain permission for provisional stay? Don't make me laugh.

Not many I would assume, but that's not my point, my point is ONCE they are on provisional stay, so AFTER they have jumped all the hurdles, they are treated like first grade citizens.

In Thailand, unless you obtain Thai citizenship, (only a few dozen people each year, manage this), you are still pretty much a vistor. Many occupations are limited to Thais only, you cannot legally own land (some loopholes not withstanding) and as far as I know, voting in any election is also not on the boards.

Oh you poor thing! i suggest you get of your butt and learn to cook then, is he your house boy? NO!! i see he's your boyfriend! So if its a relationship you should cook for him too or is that too low a job for you dude. I suppose you have him scrubing out the toilet and taking the garbage out then when hes done you might have him washing your smalls, oh and what are you doing meantime???? I would imagine laying on your sun lounger with a pims in one hand and a property news in the other. Isn't that why straight men get married? It's certainly why some of my poorer friends married (poor = couldn't afford a servant and a mistress)
I've always assumed those in favour of gay marriage wanted the same model for homosexuals :idea:

I would consider you lucky to have your bf for 90 days. I have moved to Thailand to be with my bf, because he couldn't come the USA....not for even a plane change at LAX!! So, enjoy your 90 days!!

Not many I would assume, but that's not my point, my point is ONCE they are on provisional stay, so AFTER they have jumped all the hurdles, they are treated like first grade citizens.


You're absolutely right. I think Thai immigration should change its rules -- both for tourist visa, long-term stays, and naturalization -- to mirror the more advantageous ones you are talking about. I'm sure the farang population would be happy to jump those hurdles so that they could vote here, or work as an umbrella maker (one of the "restricted" professions, along with making alms bowls, knives, and hats). All this being able to stay in Thailand forever with no qualifications whatsoever is for the birds. We want the right to make umbrellas, dammit!

"You're absolutely right. I think Thai immigration should change its rules."

What were your qualifications when you moved to Thailand?

"You're absolutely right. I think Thai immigration should change its rules."

What were your qualifications when you moved to Thailand?

I'm not sure what it matters; I was being facetious, you see. Despite how easy it is for a farang to simply show up and stay unfettered in Thailand until the day he dies, sjaak laments the fact that he can never legally work as an umbrella maker, until he becomes a naturalized Thai -- those pointing out the fact that foreigners are always "second class" until naturalized.

If you really wish to know, though, I was initially brought here on a work contract.

"If you really wish to know, though, I was initially brought here on a work contract." So like me you were the classic ex-pat worker, the token white face to do the real work while the locals take all the credit?

"If you really wish to know, though, I was initially brought here on a work contract." So like me you were the classic ex-pat worker, the token white face to do the real work while the locals take all the credit?

I'm not sure I'd say that. I've always done as little work as I could get away with.

"I'm not sure I'd say that. I've always done as little work as I could get away with." So you cheated on your work contract?! Good on you!

"I'm not sure I'd say that. I've always done as little work as I could get away with." So you cheated on your work contract?! Good on you!

Absolutely not! How dare you imply such a thing!

I simply gave them what they contracted for -- and not a smidgen more.

This is so sad. Maybe you should go and live in Laos.

[allieb]

Get real! A farang can come to Thailand without any qualifications whatsoever, and stay forever as a visa runner without any qualifications whatsoever.

"Once they've obtained provisional stay"....don't make me laugh. It's hard enough for a Thai just to get to most Western countries as a simple tourist. The hurdles they must jump to be able to stay there permanently are extremely daunting.

How many farangs do you know who would be able to pass a Thai equivalent (in Thai, of course) of the test that Thais must take to obtain permission for provisional stay? Don't make me laugh.

Farang usually have the most sort after qualification to stay in Thailand, MONEY. On the other hand governments like the Dutch and British make the Thais as you say jump hurdles simply to insure that they are employable and that the don't become a financial liability on social security benefits.

As for tourist visas I cant speak for Thailand but where I live The British consulate is tough with South East Asian applicants even the ones who apply to travel with their employer. The percentage who run away in the UK is extremely high. I took 4 of my Filipino staff to The UK on an assignment for our employer. whilst there they told me they were approached by other Filipino's encouraging them run and go to a safe house. I'm glad to say I didn't loose any.

Farang usually have the most sort after qualification to stay in Thailand, MONEY.

Er, there is absolutely NO money qualification for a farang to be a visa runner. He can come in with no money, and basically stay with no money until his dying day. This is not an option for Asians wanting to stay on legally in the West.

Money alone will also not get a farang a work permit, permanent residence, or (eventually) Thai citizenship. Money alone will pretty much get you retirement status -- but you have to be of a certain age, and you will not be able to work legally.

[thrillbill]

What I understand about the Netherlands... they accept "refugees" with open arms...maybe you can make up a story saying your Laos boyfriend is a political refuge of Laos or he's gay, so he isn't accepted in communist Laos... (or maybe he should say he's Arab and be accepted there as a refugee :bounce: )

What I understand about the Netherlands... they accept "refugees" with open arms...maybe you can make up a story saying your Laos boyfriend is a political refuge of Laos or he's gay, so he isn't accepted in communist Laos...

Do you really think the Dutch authorities are that stupid? Like maybe they're hanging out in those wacky tobacky coffee shops during their breaks?

[sjaak327]

What I understand about the Netherlands... they accept "refugees" with open arms...maybe you can make up a story saying your Laos boyfriend is a political refuge of Laos or he's gay, so he isn't accepted in communist Laos... (or maybe he should say he's Arab and be accepted there as a refugee :bounce: )

Not anymore, and that's putting it mildly. No bullshit story opportunity I'm afraid. It's not the end of the world either, will be in Thailand, Laos and Cambodia together with him in about 6 weeks, and he will be back here in October already (you can only re-enter the Netherlands on a schengen visa 180 days after first arrival).

As for me living in Laos, that's not going to work, I have a good job here, which for obvious reasons I don't want to give up. And for my boyfriend, job opportunities in the Netherlands are also looking far better then back in Laos. He basically can start the day he arrives here. His boss is very satisfied with the work he has done, and has offered him employment already :)

But back to topic Can blue men sing the whites? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bq3WnqiTEk)

[aarancam]

I met a lovely bloke from Laos in Thailand recently and plan on bringing him to Oz for a month. I've already sent $200 to cover the cost of the visa, but now he say's he needs $700 for the title deeds to his property or he won't be able to come.I don't mind paying this but is he taking the piss? Any help in getting a Laos national to Oz for a month would be gratefully recieved

[Nirish guy]

You do know that this OP ( just like the other one you posted about the other day too) was originally posted in 2008 right ?

[cdnmatt]

Well, since the guy who obviously can't read, since he keeps asking the same question after receiving tons of helpful replies, I'll reply...

Yeah, I have to experience this every month for about a week, but I'm getting used to it now. My guy just went back to Laos on the 16th due to my persistence. He VISA didn't expire until the 20th, but he came into my room Friday morning, and I convinced him to go back that morning. Go back today, or go back in 4 days, you have to go back, so might as well go enjoy the weekend with your friends instead of hanging out with the boring blind guy.

After you're so used to being together, it sucks being alone. I don't eat, don't shower everyday, and just don't care as much. When together, I shower once or twice everyday, because when he hears the shower turn on, he always magically shows up in the shower with me, so that's always a nice incentive. :) Plus I'm always in the kitchen every night cooking up kickass dinners, because I love to cook, but it's no fun cooking for yourself.

[bobsaigon2]

Re: The course of true love...Aarancam: What's going on? You've already got two threads (no, now it's 3, plus this one makes 4) running about how to bring your Lao boy to OZ and you've received every piece of advice available on this planet, but now you go to an eleven year old thread (and a 9 yr old thread) ....to ask how to bring him to your country

The only possible conclusion is that you are a troll of the most persistent variety, or severely intelligence-challenged, or suffering early-onset Alzheimer’s, or perhaps a combination of the three.

[dab69]

[QUOTE=sj

As for me living in Laos, that's not going to work, I have a good job here, which for obvious reasons I don't want to give up. And for my boyfriend, job opportunities in the Netherlands are also looking far better then back in Laos. He basically can start the day he arrives here. His boss is very satisfied with the work he has done, and has offered him employment already :)[/QUOTE]

God I would love to live and work in the Netherlands...

[gerefan2]

Plus I'm always in the kitchen every night cooking up kickass dinners, because I love to cook, but it's no fun cooking for yourself.

Good point. That made me realise how difficult it must be for blind people to cook. By feel?

[cdnmatt]

It's really not that bad. Again, just search Youtube for "masterchef Christine Ha", and you'll see. She's blind as a bat, and went on to win the whole competition.

Granted, at first it was a bit rough, and there was a 50/50 chance of the food ending up on plates, or being thrown against in the wall in pure frsutration. Just simple things like mincing garlic or chopping veggies takes some getting used to, but you don't really have a choice in the matter. Either you figure it out, or you settle for microwaveable 7/11 dinners every night.

Nowadays, I'm back to being a good cook again, and probably even better than I used to be. Obviously, I can feel the difference between an onion, potatoe, carrot, bell pepper, broccolli, etc... so that's no problem. There's only a couple real issues.

1.) Freezer has to be perfectly organized, because all those packages of meat are the same size, and once frozen, I can't feel the difference between what's what. Really, I can'Really, once frozen, I can't tell the difference between minced pork or chicken breasts.

2.) Sprices. Sale, pepper, chilli powder, and Montreal steak spice are all in unique bottles, so easy to feel those out. Red pepper flakes are in a small bag, so easy again. Soy sauce, oyster suace, fosh sauce, cooking oil, and dishwashing soap are all totally differently shaped bottles, so again, no problem.

However, for about the ~30 spices I have, they're all in the same size and shape of bottle, so aside from smell, I can't distinguish them. We tried to find a label printer that prints those little black strips with embossed letters, but couldn't find one here. So fuck it, I just go off smell when I'm alone, and bug the shit out of Leo when he's here. I just tell him what spices I need, then line them up in a row in alphabetical order, so I don't get them mixed up.

Aside from that, cooking is the same. Just use woks instead of frying pans, so you don't throw food all over the place. Eat out of bowls or tupperware containers instead of off places for the same reason, etc. No big deal. :)

[justaguy]

LOL an 11 year old thread. You are in luck because about over a year ago I changed username, so I am in fact the original OP. But I have already given you advice, which you choose to ignore completely, so not going to repeat that advice. Fact is he can leave Laos without the land ownership document just fine. It is for you to figure out how to get him a visa to Australia.

Personally I would never dream of bringing a guy home after just meeting him for a few weeks. And if I read the original thread right a bar boy at that, something I would never consider.

This particular Lao guy went to Holland for the first time after a full two years of relationship, and several months spent together both in Thailand and Laos.

One year after this thread, he got his provisional visa, and six years later he obtained permanent European citizenship.

[FarangRuMak]

There are a few tried and tested ways to get into Britain or to return to Britain; spend a few years fighting for ISIS and you'll get back in like the 400 before you did OR grow a beard, live in Calais for a while and let the SJWs convince everyone you're a child.

[Smiles]

Why does Aramaframafromadam (or whatever his handle is) do this? Has he ever responded with an answer to a few queries regarding him answering 10-yr-old threads? He seems to just carry on, very old thread after very old thread, quite obliviously ... kind of like Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump.

[justaguy]

There are a few tried and tested ways to get into Britain or to return to Britain; spend a few years fighting for ISIS and you'll get back in like the 400 before you did OR grow a beard, live in Calais for a while and let the SJWs convince everyone you're a child.

Really ? I thought you indeed could remain in Britain, but not as a free man.

[aarancam]

Probably a combination of the last two. I searched Laos and got an old thread. I'm crazy in love though!

[bobsaigon2]

You searched Laos and got an old thread? No, you searched and got two old threads.

You're crazy in love? Maybe delete "in love". But no matter. Professional help is available.