rural funeral costs

[thrillbill]

Strange question but my Thai BF's mother just passed away. I know he will be short of Baht since he just opened up a new shop...so I'll help to contribute. The family is as poor as temple mice (Issan area) so I know the funeral will be simple. My BF is the only single one in the family so since he is single, doesn't have kids (you know the picture) all of his two brothers and sisters expect HIM to have the cash. If anyone has an idea how much this should run, let me know. Thanks.

thrillbill Where are you in moment? In Thailand? Will you go there?

[thrillbill]

thrillbill Where are you in moment? In Thailand? Will you go there?

I live in Thailand...I have to work, can't take off. I know this is not a made up story, his mother has been sick the last 3 weeks and I have never seen him cry before like this.

sorry to hear that - try to go there than. It's your bf.

Strange question but my Thai BF's mother just passed away. I know he will be short of Baht since he just opened up a new shop...so I'll help to contribute. The family is as poor as temple mice (Issan area) so I know the funeral will be simple. My BF is the only single one in the family so since he is single, doesn't have kids (you know the picture) all of his two brothers and sisters expect HIM to have the cash. If anyone has an idea how much this should run, let me know. Thanks.

It will probably cost between 30 to 40K baht. Offer to pay 1/2 of it... That's being very generous. Tell your BF, his brothers and sisters MUST help with the rest of the money. Trust me they'll manage with or without you help!

sorry for my private mail to you but maybe we all have to much experience here in Thailand. So you should arrange to join the funeral. In respect to your Boyfriend. You will be his last family member and you should give him your shoulder.

I went to a funeral/cremation several weeks ago of someone from an upper-class Thai family.
What I found out was, wondering about the cost of a funeral, that the basic Buddhist based ceremonial part is free.

Things that make a funeral/cremation expenisve are: flowers, services, number of monks, number of days (usually 5), luxury of the auditorium, presence of food and drinks, etc.

This question appears in every forum once and a while and as soon as an expat is involved (directly/indirectly) the cost will go up.
If you're talking about an E-San funeral: basic, simple, respectfull, the cost would be around THB 10,000 - THB 15,000.
The funeral I attended was around THB 100,000.

[thrillbill]

thanks everyone who contributed their thoughts/info on this. All of the repllies were helpful and stuck to the subject.

[Maxx]

My ex Bf's Uncle died earlier this year in Udon,
The family poor Essan farmers managed to run up a bill of 300,000 Baht !
There were week long festivities where the whole Village came to a standstill!
The Italian boyfriend of one of the daughters is in for an unpleasant surprise when he will visit later in the year ! :blackeye:

My ex Bf's Uncle died earlier this year in Udon,
The family poor Essan farmers managed to run up a bill of 300,000 Baht !
There were week long festivities where the whole Village came to a standstill!
The Italian boyfriend of one of the daughters is in for an unpleasant surprise when he will visit later in the year ! :blackeye:

It's all about showing off and saving face - you don't have to be a part of this. They will dig your pocket as deep as you allow them to - so be smart don't allow yourself to be the cash cow. Remember - some of you are on a fixed retirement income. Before your bf (or gf) met you - somehow the entire family were able to make ends meet.

[Maxx]

YesI agree about the "Face'' issue. I was appalled at the extravagance ,They Catered to the whole Village for the entire week !
My ex B/f's role in this was to truck in copious amounts of alcohol twice daily for which he was amply rewarded.
I'm sure the knowledge of there being a Farang in the family was the main component in this extravaganza !

[globalwanderer]

I'd say you are talking in the region of 30,000 to 40,000 based on the cost of Oot's funeral which was a three day event. But it was not three days of festivities. There was the nightly ceremony with monks and food and soft drinks were provided. Similarly food was provided on the morning of the cremation. I contributed 15,000 as I felt that it was appropriate to contribute half what they expected to spend.

The rest family will find the rest of the money and they will cut the cloth to fit with the available cash, and everyone contributes, even if only the odd 20 baht. If you want to contribute, specify the amount and stick to it.. there will always be a reason why they need some extra cash. And make clear that you won't bail them out down the line if they borrow lots of cash to pay for an extravagant funeral! N asked Oot's family at the 100 day ceremony what they'd have done if I had not contributed to that, and the answer was they'd have borrowed the money and hoped to find a way to repay later.

[Marsilius]

No wonder these poor families never manage to escape from much above the poverty line.

This, it seems to me, is a good example of the ways in which most religions have hampered economic growth and development by looking down on the accumulation of capital for worldly ends and instead suggesting that any accumulated savings should be used for religious purposes (rather than invested in some wealth-producing economic enterprise).

The idea was first explored by Max Weber in his "The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism" - where he argued that the rise to economic and thus political power by the West resulted from the Protestant Reformation. Protestantism, he said, saw the act of becoming prosperous and accumulating, investing and growing man-made wealth as a mark of God's blessing and something to be encouraged rather than a misuse of "God given" resources (compare that to the Catholic church which had traditionally banned lending and borrowing capital, insisted that saving/investing surplus cash was bad and ordered instead that it ought to be invested in "good works" - charity, beautifying churches, financing pilgrimages, supporting economically non-productive monks, etc. - none of which actually increased the overall wealth of society.)

There are, it seems to me, a few lessons for Isaan's peasant society there!

[thrillbill]

..Protestantism, he said, saw the act of becoming prosperous and accumulating, investing and growing man-made wealth as a mark of God's blessing and something to be encouraged rather than a misuse of "God given" resources (compare that to the Catholic church which had traditionally banned lending and borrowing capital, insisted that saving/investing surplus cash was bad and ordered instead that it ought to be invested in "good works" - charity, beautifying churches, financing pilgrimages, supporting economically non-productive monks, etc. - none of which actually increased the overall wealth of society.)

There are, it seems to me, a few lessons for Isaan's peasant society there!
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Marsilius, interesting thought- there may be some truth to that. By the way (what I once learned while traveling in Turkey ) the early Christians did not believe in loaning money and charging interest; thus the Jews were the ones that became quite wealthy by loaning money with interest. To this day (supposedly) , Moslems are NOT to gain interest from banks or pay interest when borrowing...but there is a way they get around it.

Sometimes they wont accept your help . I have been to 2 funerals in a very poor tambon near sisaket and tried to contribute but was refused.

BS grandma and a neighbours 4 yr old son.

Most i was allowed to give to grandfather was 1000 baht after the ceremony was over and she was cremated. My BS also insisted i did this privately and not at the marquee where other villagers/friends gave small donations to grandad of what they could afford.

The 3 day party put on afterwards was phenomonal and must have cost a fortune but i was not asked to contribute in any way.( I was asked to marry many drunken women though lol ).

I probably indirectly paid for a lot of it before and afterwards without knowing or meaning to but BS kept his face by not asking directly. he was the main landowner in the area and employed most of the neighbours as pickers etc so he was seen to be doing his duty and i sat around with uncle and the kids while he went about doing it.

Whhile BS and I where staying in his village recently a middle aged man died from sickness. The family was very poor, but the whole village chipped in with gifts of food, money etc. There was a very simple ceremony that evening, followed by the cremation the next day. The whole village was fed before the service, but the cost was kept way down by gifts of rice, etc. Just a few monks, cost around 5K Baht.
I was not asked to contribute directly, but BS did.