The topic tonight is love

I find myself very hesitant to post on this subject, but in fact I am in love, and have been for four years or so.

What is more, the feelings of love are growing stronger with each passing day, each passing year...not weaker.

I wish I could provide more details of this wonderful boy -- let's call him Aod -- but getting to know him has been a real voyage of discovery -- discovering him and myself as well.

The most outstanding features of Aod are that (1) he looks 17 but is actually 23 (2) he is not interested in sex (3) he is of mixed hill-tribe and Chinese parents.

The results of (1) are as follows: he has been able to return to high school, and is now about to enter his senior year -- at the age of 23 (2) when we are walking around in one another's company, I get a lot of glares as someone obviously involved with a teenager. This is especially likely if he is wearing his school uniform.

Number (2) will probably strike most readers here as Utterly Strange. But it's Aod. He sincerely thinks that there a lot of things in life which are more interesting and important than sex. He doesn't hate sex, but sees it as utterly normal and not very important.

Have I mentioned that I love him?

And the really amazing thing is that he loves me back. When he's going home, it's almost always his idea for hugging and kissing. On top of that, he is utterly loyal. He goes out to party at nights, and undoubtedly people try to pick him up, but see (2). He likes friends, and music, and his family, and me.

A completely wonderful person. My luck is running very, very well right now. If something were to happen to him, I don't know what I would do.

... from throwing up in the loo

oh my God, happy you, love is great, not to be explained, just a fealing. :cheers:

... from throwing up in the loo

Was it all that fruitcake?

[francois]

Not to rain on your parade Henry, but your love affair seems to be a risky adventure. Love can blind one's judgement as many will tell you.
The aspect of his lack of interest in sex is a warning sign, is it not?
You do not mention your age? If you are of the "age of gold", good luck!

Hmm.. Personally, I'm extremely cynical when it comes to these types of issues, but I also think it's quite cruel to try and burst someones happy bubble, so I shall refrain from commenting. Your obviously both very happy, which is the main thing. But I'd like to ask, if sex doesn't play a part in your relationship, do you see it more as a father/son type of relationship, rather than a gay relationship? And ultimatley, do you love him like a son, or like a partner?

I've had sex with Aod dozens or hundreds of times. He enjoys sex, and is very good at it. I especially like it when the cum hits his face.

BUT he does not see this as very important. Buying school uniforms for his younger brother is more important.

Do you disagree with him? :-)

[Bob]

... from throwing up in the loo

Ah, you're always so mushy and emotional, mon Colonel! Are you sure you aren't a...a....a...girl?

Are you sure you aren't a...a....a...girl?Yes, I'm a closet bulimiac

[globalwanderer]

I am another cynic based on experience, but based on what you have written I have no doubt you love him.

You comments about his view on sex would worry me if he was my friend... if he sees it as not very important maybe he sees it as not very important to tell you if he has sex when he goes out partying. And the fact that it is 'almost always' his idea for a hug before going home to the family hardly show 'love' is reciprocated.

I am sure buying school uniforms for his younger brother is more important to him than sex. Do I disagree with him, no, his younger brothers education is more important than sex any day, but you imply you paid for the uniform which raises the question of what else you are paying for, and how much.

And I do wonder why you chose to make this post which was bound to attract negative comments.

I do not know either you or Aod, and I truly hope that what you have is good, but.....

Are you sure you aren't a...a....a...girl?Yes, I'm a closet bulimiac

Aaaaaaaaach, hominterm will never be a perfectly normal human being ( that statement have multiple meanings ! :clown: ) and some traumas Homi just can't ever shake . :flower:

If Henry is happy then i am happy for him... I do just wonder why he decided to post....

Well, they do say that when your in love you want to shout about it from the rooftops. It's not something I know too much about though. :(

[globalwanderer]

If Henry is happy then i am happy for him... I do just wonder why he decided to post....

Well, they do say that when your in love you want to shout about it from the rooftops. It's not something I know too much about though. :(

sorry to hear that... but I'd be interested in Henry's response. I know how difficult it is to decide to post personal matters

"He loves you in the Asian way." Maybe so. He's half-Akha and half-Chinese, so that makes him Really Asian, though Not At All Thai.

Thanks for the stereotypes, I guess! Is it true that ALL ASIANS (or MOST ASIANS) have little interest in sex????

And, by the way, that "little interest in sex" means that he has been utterly faithful to me. Is that something bad?

Anyway, I look forward to reading all of YOUR descriptions of your boyfriends! :-)

Anyway, I look forward to reading all of YOUR descriptions of your boyfriends!The Moderators rushed to advise me that they have insufficient bandwidth for me to provide even potted biographies of the current list of mem'sahibs

[globalwanderer]

"He loves you in the Asian way." Maybe so. He's half-Akha and half-Chinese, so that makes him Really Asian, though Not At All Thai.

Thanks for the stereotypes, I guess! Is it true that ALL ASIANS (or MOST ASIANS) have little interest in sex????

And, by the way, that "little interest in sex" means that he has been utterly faithful to me. Is that something bad?

Anyway, I look forward to reading all of YOUR descriptions of your boyfriends! :-)

I don't believe any one was trying to stereotype ASIANS. I think many are worried about whether you know what you are into. 'little interest in sex' and 'utterly faithful' do not mean the same thing. IF he has been utterly faithful then that is good.

If you want to read about my boyfriend then please go to the link at the bottom of the post. I chose to go public for reasons I posted at the time on the board, which should be obvious. I do not claim he was a saint however, despite what he might have claimed.

[francois]

Henry, it does seem you have an ideal relationship, a semi-platonic one with lots of sex even though sex is not an important factor. I can and do understand and respect that type of situation. If your relationship does not overwhelm your finances then you are indeed a fortunate man. But however if you are emptying your treasury to finance your love, then I think your love will cease when the coffers are empty. If this relationship is costing you more than you can afford then you will know it is not built on love, but on money.

[globalwanderer]

Oh and don't give cash... if the younger brother needs school uniform, go buy it. etc

I have been living in Thailand for some 20 years. That does not make me an expert, but it does make me discount the "advice" of people who don't live here.

And also some people who DO live here, the prime example being "Homintern." He heard the word "love" and vomited.

As for me, I'm enjoying the company of the best boyfriend I have EVER had. And that list of former boyfriends includes Ridha from Tunisia, Najib from Morocco, Brian from Palo Alto, Suthat from Lopburi, Nasser from Teheran, my former lover from Wiang Pa Pao, etc.

You are not dealing with a virgin here! :-)

Aod is the BEST boyfriend I have ever had!!! And I love him more each day!

Now, tell me about yours...

[Brad the Impala]

I especially like it when the cum hits his face.

BUT he does not see this as very important. Buying school uniforms for his younger brother is more important.


Is this really an either/or situation?

By the way, I am happy that you are happy.

[francois]

If you have been living in Thailand for 20 years, Henry, then you know more about it than most of us, including myself. I do think you have something to crow about. Good for you.

My boyfriend? Lust at first sight; affection for 8 years; friends forever, I hope. For me, the best ever, a good good boy! And the sex, oh la la!

Francois

[bigben]

Henry darling........

If you are for real......I wish you all the best in your four year relationship.

But I cannot understand why so many of your prior posts talk of former boyfriends and being that you just joined our little forum 10 days

ago....Why did it take so long for you to join and share these wonderful stories?

[puckered_penguin]

I have been living in Thailand for some 20 years. That does not make me an expert, but it does make me discount the "advice" of people who don't live here.

As for me, I'm enjoying the company of the best boyfriend I have EVER had. And that list of former boyfriends includes Ridha from Tunisia, Najib from Morocco, Brian from Palo Alto, Suthat from Lopburi, Nasser from Teheran, my former lover from Wiang Pa Pao, etc.

You are not dealing with a virgin here! :-)

Aod is the BEST boyfriend I have ever had!!! And I love him more each day!

Now, tell me about yours...

Why did all your previous relationships breakdown?

Now, tell me about yours...

Variations on a theme of "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" :flower:

[TrongpaiExpat]

Congratulations Henry, I think. Say, Henry did you used to post on this board under a different name or are you new?

[Aunty]

If something were to happen to him, I don't know what I would do.

Well I guess you could always take up flying.

I find myself extremely fortunate. I don't expect a young thai guy to fall in love with me (being an old fogey) nor would it happen in the west. Ergo it would be foolish of me to reciprocate!

However, eighteen months ago when I was seriously ill in Chonburi Hospital and the only farang there, a thai guy who was visiting his mortally ill friend smiled at me every time he passed my bed. Finally, sadly after his friend had died of a brain tumour, he was leaving for the last time and asked me for my telephone number.

Two weeks later he telephoned me and he came to see me from BKK. Realising that I was on my own he stayed with me for 8 days and looked after me until I flew home. We kept up correspondence and when I returned to Thailand this winter we met each other often. Sadly I had to return home early as I was ill again. However he rings me every week as I do.

When I regain my strength I am sure we shall meet again.

Oh, I forgot to say that he is 38 and holds down an excellent and well paid job in BKK ( have to force him to let me pay for meals etc). He says that he has never had another relationship and just likes me very much.

What could be better!

[pronto]

But I cannot understand why so many of your prior posts talk of former boyfriends and being that you just joined our little forum 10 days ago....Why did it take so long for you to join and share these wonderful stories?
What !?
So... you feel Henry was required to have begun posting here some time ago? Why? Perhaps he's similar to me --- not feeling it necessary to post in an addictive manner, sharing the entirety of his diary. Your view sounds a bit.... 'uppity'.

[yaraboy]

18 months into a relationship with a 30 year old Lao guy. Wonderful in that we have so much in common. All of my 'special friends' in the past lacked that element of near complete commonality. Also we have projects which we are working on. I am aware that everything changes but living in the moment is appropriate for me. Financially there has been a commitment but not more than I can afford. Money is not really an issue and the family being middle class is not on the receiving end.

I was a happy helicopter until this guy came into my life but possibly you get what you need and not what you want in life

.... have been for four years or so. .... The most outstanding features of Aod are that ... he looks 17 but is actually 23 .... he is of mixed hill-tribe and Chinese parents..... he has been able to return to high school, and is now about to enter his senior year -- at the age of 23 .... when we are walking around in one another's company, I get a lot of glares as someone obviously involved with a teenager. This is especially likely if he is wearing his school uniform.

You do indeed sound extremely lucky, however a couple of questions spring to mind.

If he looks 17 now, and you are aware of a lot of glares, what was the reaction four years ago (when, presumably, he looked 13) ?

If he has been able to return to high school, and is now about to enter his senior year, how has he managed to do this on an ID card which shows his age as 23? He would be eligible to join adult education at 23, at the level he left school as shown in his school leaving certificate, but not regular high school irrespective of how old he looks.

I am aware that many rural Thais (including my own Thai partner) are registered with their date and year of birth being incorrect by as much as one or two years, often being registered when they need to go to school, and this could well apply to someone who is half Chinese and half Akha, but if he is only registered as 17 now (and so eligible for high school) that would mean that when he started school / was first registered he was actually 11 but was registered as only 5, which seems a touch unrealistic (and that is the best case - alternatively he could have been 6 and registered as a newborn baby!!).

Maybe I have a suspicious nature (I prefer "analytical"!), and there is some other explanation, but it does sound a little strange.

You do indeed sound extremely lucky, however a couple of questions spring to mind.

If he looks 17 now, and you are aware of a lot of glares, what was the reaction four years ago (when, presumably, he looked 13) ?

If he has been able to return to high school, and is now about to enter his senior year, how has he managed to do this on an ID card which shows his age as 23? He would be eligible to join adult education at 23, at the level he left school as shown in his school leaving certificate, but not regular high school irrespective of how old he looks.

Questions, questions! For one thing, he did not look 13 four years ago. His looks haven't changed much, and the thing which really fools a lot of people is the simple fact that he is short. Most Thais are a head taller than he is. ("No matter what I eat, I don't get taller and don't gain weight!" as Aod puts it with a hearty laugh.)

His Thai ID card shows his age as 23 and he has a passport. He entered 10th grade in a regular private school two years ago when he was 20, and the school certainly put up no fuss. As a matter of fact, there was a moment of hilarity a couple months later when some other students managed to steal a look at his ID card and confronted him with his true age -- he had been gliding by, claiming 17. If there is a rule or law saying that regular private high schools may not admit students who are 20, we are blissfully unaware of it, and the school is happy to have him & his tuition fees.

Anyway, next year is college! Do you think there is some law or regulation stating that universities may not admit students over 23? :-0 I don't think so!

My guess is that more students his age do NOT return to high-school because they would be so conspicuous. He isn't, and has a lot of friends.

This does remind me of years ago in a California prep school when a student showed up in the 10th or 11th grade who was 21 years old. There was about 5 minutes of surprise, and then he just joined in with the other students.

There have been a number of people wondering "why I posted this." Probably because I had thrown in my opinions on go-go bars, taking boys off, and (yawn) the proper amount to tip. I began feeling a minor concern that the major part of my life had not even been mentioned. So I decided to mention Aod even though I suspected a number of people would throw up. And it's just one more bit of evidence to consider when The Old Hand swears to you that it is IMPOSSIBLE...IMPOSSIBLE...for a farang to have a relationship with a Thai boy. Pardon my French, but horse puckey. The big age difference probably means that you need to give each other lots of free space and independence: that works for us because we each like these things.

I find it quite fascinating that a number of gay farang have affairs and whatever with Thai boys, and never once does the word "love" appear in their conversation! :-0

I think Aod's doing a wonderful job of making sure I don't get bored, and we do not "blunt the fine edge of seldom pleasure."

And very good luck to YOU!

Now I have to get back to doing that free volunteer work that I don't actually do! :-0

[Diec]

I completely can understand Henry. My BF and I have been dating for over 9 months now. I am 66 and he is 19. In Thailand, age has no relevance and we are completely in love with each other. He is wise beyond his years and I am young at heart so we get along famously.

I remember on one trip he asked me to go with him to visit his parents in his small village of Issan. It was the best thing I have ever done. When we finally arrived to where his parents lived, it seemed only a few minutes later that the entire village formed a parade to come meet us. It was quite a site seeing the young children jockeying for a better position to see an actual "farang" in real life. There were many "ooh's and ahh's" as they got to see what a white man looks like up close as most in the village have never seen a white man before. It was as if we were royalty! Needless to say my boyfriend was very joyous at the attention we were receiving, as I enjoyed it myself.

Mama (which is how I called my BF's mother even though she was younger than me) had been preparing food the entire day for our arrival. Finally after what seemed like hours, the villagers went back to their homes to let us celebrate my BF's coming home. The entire family was there: brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and grandparents. We feasted on the most scrumptious meal I have ever eaten! Mama is a good cook. Some farang may have picked and chose what to eat, I was able to eat everything since I have very much so adapted to the Thai lifestyle. The only thing that took time to get used to was kissing my BF in front of his family. I would never have done if my BF's father had not encouraged it by forcing our lips together with his hands.

I will make a long story short and let you all know that when we left Issan, we started to talk about marriage (his idea and not mine at the time) I could not refuse...on my next trip to Thailand we intend to become husband and husband. I never knew I would ever feel this kind of bliss at my age but I have.

Congratulations Henry...this will let the "nay sayers" know that true love can be found in Thailand as you and I are living proof!!

I completely can understand Henry. My BF and I have been dating for over 9 months now. I am 66 and he is 19. In Thailand, age has no relevance and we are completely in love with each other. He is wise beyond his years and I am young at heart so we get along famously.

I remember on one trip he asked me to go with him to visit his parents in his small village of Issan. It was the best thing I have ever done. When we finally arrived to where his parents lived, it seemed only a few minutes later that the entire village formed a parade to come meet us. It was quite a site seeing the young children jockeying for a better position to see an actual "farang" in real life. There were many "ooh's and ahh's" as they got to see what a white man looks like up close as most in the village have never seen a white man before. It was as if we were royalty! Needless to say my boyfriend was very joyous at the attention we were receiving, as I enjoyed it myself.
Mama (which is how I called my BF's mother even though she was younger than me) had been preparing food the entire day for our arrival. Finally after what seemed like hours, the villagers went back to their homes to let us celebrate my BF's coming home. The entire family was there: brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and grandparents. We feasted on the most scrumptious meal I have ever eaten! Mama is a good cook. Some farang may have picked and chose what to eat, I was able to eat everything since I have very much so adapted to the Thai lifestyle. The only thing that took time to get used to was kissing my BF in front of his family. I would never have done if my BF's father had not encouraged it by forcing our lips together with his hands.
I will make a long story short and let you all know that when we left Issan, we started to talk about marriage (his idea and not mine at the time) I could not refuse...on my next trip to Thailand we intend to become husband and husband. I never knew I would ever feel this kind of bliss at my age but I have.

Congratulations Henry...this will let the "nay sayers" know that true love can be found in Thailand as you and I are living proof!!

First I smiled, then I laughed

[Smiles]

This experience of a farang going home with his boyfriend rings false to me. It sounds overly sentimental, overly romaticised, overly unreal.
I've been to my guy's family village in Surin many times. Although certain things in this post are probably somewhat true, the overall description and 'mood' seem quite over the top both in terms of what I've experienced (and my guy's family is nothing if not 'typical'), and what I've read from the experiences of others on this board.

Cannot call this post a lie (i.e. "anything can happen" I suppose), but there seems to me to be some severe exaggeration going on here.


" ... I remember on one trip he asked me to go with him to visit his parents in his small village of Issan. It was the best thing I have ever done. When we finally arrived to where his parents lived, it seemed only a few minutes later that the entire village formed a parade to come meet us.

I doubt the 'whole' village' (or even a small part of them) would come out breathlessly to greet just another farang. These villages are loaded down with farangs making their first visits to their girlfriend's (with the odd boyfriend tossed in) parents. Usually they're too busy, or too distracted, or too uninterested (and who wouldn't be?) in such an occasion. A few close relatives might show up, but usually they live next door, or down the soi a bit ... all within easy walking distance (free whiskey, free food).
To envision a hoarde of villagers (many of who will be fighting with the parents anyway over petty land encroachments and run over dogs) racing through the dusty roads by motorbike and pickup truck to come take part in a farang's family visit is, frankly, laughable.


It was quite a site seeing the young children jockeying for a better position to see an actual "farang" in real life. There were many "ooh's and ahh's" as they got to see what a white man looks like up close as most in the village have never seen a white man before. It was as if we were royalty! Needless to say my boyfriend was very joyous at the attention we were receiving, as I enjoyed it myself.

My guy has young nephews, neices out the ying yang. Some of them have shown up off the cuff (i.e. wandering through the neigbourhood anyway) when I've arrived, but none of them have made any moves akin to "wonder", or "jockeying" to see (and touch the hem) a sweaty unkempt farang step out of a dusty pickup all dishevelled and desperately wanting a shower above all.
They see lots of 'white men' in his very small village ... at least 3 farang own homes and property there, speak excellent Thai, and live with the girlfriends they met in Bangkok. I doubt there is much difference between my guy's Isaan village, and the Isaan village alluded to in Diec's description.
Thai folks already have a quite beloved royalty ... and it's not a soon-to-be-gone farang showing up for dinner.

The only thing that took time to get used to was kissing my BF in front of his family. I would never have done if my BF's father had not encouraged it by forcing our lips together with his hands.

I cannot imagine in a thousand years a Thai father doing this.
First of all, kissing full on the lips does not come natural to Thais, and certainly not for country folk. Secondly, I cannot think of any circumstance where a Thai father would feel any overwhelming urge to press together the lips of a complete stranger and his young son. The closest a Thai parent (almost always the mother, not father) would probably come to this would be the old string-on-the-wrist ceremony . . . and this would denote good luck and a peaceful Kwan for the farang, not marriage with their son.

I do not mean to denigrate the experience of meeting a boyfriend's parents. The first time I met them we all had a great time (after I'd showered!), and looking back on it I wouldn't have missed it for anything. Each time I go back the atmosphere is more relaxed than the last. I've made good friends with both of my guy's brothers, and one of his sisters. I'm 'Uncle Dave' to little Tareo, his sister's young boy ... which I must admit often makes me feel all warm and squishy.

But in all the years of going to Nangmud, I've never experienced anything like the fairy tale above.

Cheers ...

[globalwanderer]

I'm with you Smiles. Yes friends appear... free whisky as you said. the rest of the village, business as usual. My guys village does not have farangs living there and some of the young kids may not have seen many farang and they act shy at first...certainly no oohs and ahhs.

IтАЩve been to different parts of Isan many times.
I too am with Smiles on this.

Diec: maybe you were laden down with Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh, Buffalo and Black Label all packed into the new pick-up truck as a gift for the family? Did Mom like the new mink coat?
As for marriage тАж are you heavily insured and look close to death?

Keep away from the Sang Som bottle before logging on to Sawatdee :drunken: or maybe get a job writing for Mills & Boon

[francois]

But in all the years of going to Nangmud, I've never experienced anything like the fairy tale above.

Cheers ...

Nothing like a good fairy tale with a happy ending! I must agree some of the above posts are overly sentimental and overly exaggerated which construces a good story.

[Dodger]

I'm with Smiles on this...

The only way I can see a father of a young Thai boy pressing his sons lips to those of a 66 Y/O farang is if he's mau mak mak, and even then, it would be extremely unlikely.

My BF and his parents are meeting me at the Suvarnabhumi Airport next week and it will be very difficult not to embrace him upon our first meeting, but I know he would be uncomfortable with this - being so public. But once we're in the hotel alone together all bets are off.

Dodger, Smiles, etc, I 100% endorse what you have said - this is absolute fantasy! My partner's village is very small and "out of the way", so no farangs actually live there, but by no means was I looked on as some sort of alien being when we have been there - once when we went to the village he had moved to we were chased by a childhood friend on a bicycle, but only as it had been over 10 years since they had last met and the interest in me was zero!

23 year olds in high school - actually it is not allowed (it would not be allowed in most countries), but if he can get away with it good luck to him. I still find it more than a little surprising, as by attending adult education classes he could graduate considerably earlier, eg 2 years instead of 3 even if he only attended classes at weekends. There is, obviously, no age restriction at Thai universities.

My suspicions were aroused primarily by the repeated request for details of others' relationships, as personally I can see no possible reason why I would want to go into specific details about my own relationship and sex-life here; I think my partner would be singularly unimpressed if I did and would, quite rightly, see it as a betrayal of trust.

The big age difference probably means that you need to give each other lots of free space and independence: that works for us because we each like these things.

I do not necessarily agree with this or the oft repeated view that relationships with ex bar-boys are any different than those with Thais (or anyone else) in highly paid professions; I do not always succeed, but I try not to look down on others because of their job, background, "status", etc, and just to judge them as individuals - hopefully they do me the same courtesy. There is some 20 years difference in age between my partner and I, but although we give each other as much "free space" as we need, more often than not this means 24 hours a day together. Fortunately we have similar interests and enjoy doing similar things (preferably together) - I think this would be the case in most conventional relationships, so I do not see that it should necessarily be any different here.

As for love - he first told me that he loved me after we had been living together for three years. It did not change our relationship, but it was very nice nevertheless! Love means different things to different people (as Prince Charles said in one of his few intelligent remarks - "whatever love is") and it is impossible to either quantify or test. I honestly feel we are in love, but it could equally well be symbiosis - whatever it is, it makes me happy and that's good enough for me!

Smiles, I agree 100%--I also have a longtime Thai friend living in a smaller community near Roiet in the Issan region and nothing of the sort would ever happen as you detail. Neither that post or the first post (most likely the same person posting under different names) is anything more than a desire to "crank up" a discussion--which is not necessarily a bad thing--it revisits the whole issue of older farang and younger Thai and what happens in those relationships--not that that hasn't been discussed so very many times here and on other boards.

I also agree that even in a private school they would not allow a 23 yr old in the "10th grade"--with students so much younger--no private school in the Chonburi province would and smaller villages up north would most likely not even have a private school as an option.

Dodger, Smiles, etc, I 100% endorse what you have said - this is absolute fantasy! My partner's village is very small and "out of the way", so no farangs actually live there, but by no means was I looked on as some sort of alien being when we have been there - once when we went to the village he had moved to we were chased by a childhood friend on a bicycle, but only as it had been over 10 years since they had last met and the interest in me was zero!

23 year olds in high school - actually it is not allowed (it would not be allowed in most countries), but if he can get away with it good luck to him. I still find it more than a little surprising, as by attending adult education classes he could graduate considerably earlier, eg 2 years instead of 3 even if he only attended classes at weekends. There is, obviously, no age restriction at Thai universities.

My suspicions were aroused primarily by the repeated request for details of others' relationships, as personally I can see no possible reason why I would want to go into specific details about my own relationship and sex-life here; I think my partner would be singularly unimpressed if I did and would, quite rightly, see it as a betrayal of trust.

Well, I am really of two minds about answering your post. You seem a little confused about two very different stories. I'm NOT the guy who had the fantasy trip to Isaan.

Have you ever had the experience of being called a liar by someone completely unknown to you? It seems we're stuck with two different "I say it's so" assertions. My assertions mingle with the rest of my completely truthful story, including the fact that Aod was here for two and a half hours while we sweated through his English homework for his make-up classes. (He failed some of his ten courses.) And you assert that this is simply not allowed. He's 23, so he can't be in high school.

What is your proof? Are you quite sure that you have considered the rules for public versus private high schools? Quite sure?? Are you really VERY sure that people aged 18-20 cannot enter the 10th grade?

Now, to continue to another very interesting point: the choice of a "real high school" over Adult Education (which has now been grandly renamed to Outside Education). This was something that got discussed at great length between Aod and my former bf, who is now a university graduate. Basically, the former BF insisted, over and over again, that if you want to go to college, sooner or later you have to be able to do college-level work. And the Thai Adult (whoops, Outside) Education is not the place to accomplish that goal. Think about it for a minute: in Outer Education you'll be spending a maximum of 6-10 hours in class, with the burden of the work put on you as homework. In a real school, you'll be waking up every morning at 6:30, hustling off to classes, and spending a minimum of 5-6 hours per day in a learning environment. This makes a huge difference in educational accomplishment. Aod comes from a hill-tribe background, but his accent is almost completely gone, and his Thai is becoming really fluent.

Aod used to be in Outside Education. When he showed me his English homework for the first day of 9th grade, I was horrified. At first, I couldn't figure it out! And then suddenly I understood it (having taught ESL myself). The teacher had asked his students to conjugate three very different sentences ("Babi is a deer," "John works ever day," and "I can speek English") through the following "conjugations" -- negative, positive past tense, negative past tense, past perfect, negative past perfect, past continuous, negative past continuous, negative question tag, etc. So the answers might begin: "Babi is not a deer," Babi was a deer, Babi was not a deer, Babi has been a deer, Babi has not been a deer, etc. All of this in a class where at least half the students did not know their A-B-C's!!

By the way, the spelling mistakes in the teaching materials are typical.

But how ANYONE could be expected to learn English in Outside Education is a mystery to me. I suspect it's like a fancy GED, American-style. Everyone passes, and nobody learns much.

At the "real school," the spelling and grammar mistakes continue, but they aren't so important. The poor over-worked khruu is dealing with a class of 46 students, which means the students almost never speak. But it's much, much better than the stuff on offer at Outer Education, where the teachers are paid even less, and burdened with much more.

So we shall see when it comes to college time. I am absolutely sure that Aod is getting an education -- his Thai handwriting is now extremely fast and fluent. He understands a little bit about computers &c. A nearby friend chose the other road, and went into college after "graduating" from Adult Education. Can he do the work, or not? We shall see.

I agree with you about posting intimate details. I have not posted his name, his city of origin, his photograph, or the name of his school, and have no intentions of doing so. I also have not posted MY real name!

But still, to my way of thinking, real love and happiness arise from just such small daily events -- working on homework together, dealing with family issues as they arise, and just generally enjoying one another's company.

I can boast about one thing: Aod came in first, by a long margin, in the "English conversation" final exam. He is, at long last, beginning to speak English -- which shouldn't be too hard for a guy who already speaks his hill-tribe language, a smattering of Chinese, Thai, and kham mueang!

The reason you heard me asking for others to tell me what they were up to was that, at the time, it seemed like a reasonable alternative to just (ahem) jumping on the original poster with nasty attacks.

My apologies as my reply a couple of days ago seems to have disappeared in transmission.

Henry Cate:

You seem a little confused about two very different stories. I'm NOT the guy who had the fantasy trip to Isaan.

I was aware it was two different stories, hence my replying in two different paragraphs.

Have you ever had the experience of being called a liar by someone completely unknown to you?

I am not calling you a liar, nor did I. Given your further information I have no reason to think that you are posting anything other than "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth"!

I did not say that "He's 23, so he can't be in high school". What I said was "23 year olds in high school - actually it is not allowed (it would not be allowed in most countries), but if he can get away with it good luck to him.". What is allowed and what happens here, as I am sure you know, are not necesarily the same thing!

What is your proof? Are you quite sure that you have considered the rules for public versus private high schools? Quite sure?? Are you really VERY sure that people aged 18-20 cannot enter the 10th grade?

I had checked this some time before with the Chonburi board of education, with whom I have checked it again. It applies to all schools licenced in Thailand, public, private and international, Thai or international corriculum. I am quite sure. VERY sure. VERY, VERY sure. 100%. Positive. Certain. No ifs, no buts, no exceptions - no matter how young an adult looks they are not allowed to be educated alongside schoolchildren. Any school doing so could lose its licence and the individual concerned could have his graduation papers invalidated - note I said could, not would.

If it is working, and you can get way with it, then good luck to you (as I said before!)