Dodger
March 16th, 2008, 02:36
Hi you Maniacs.
WellтАжmy pre-holiday preparations are now in full swing as the launch date to Adventure #20 grows nearer. Only two more weeks to go, which marks almost four months since my feet have touched sand or felt the straps of my tattered sandals, and I canтАЩt wait. Actually, itтАЩs not the sand I miss so much, itтАЩs HIM, but I thought that sentence sounded nice.
Some of you probably remember my most recent escapades where I bonded with (married) my Thai BF (Su), and some of you havenтАЩt the foggiest. So for anyone reading this that may be in the fog, IтАЩll give you a little summary:
I hit the ground running in LOS about 9 years ago, butterflyтАЩd my ass off for 7 of those 9 years to the point that the very first time I heard the phrase тАЬHelicopterтАЭ it was being used in conjunction with a boy who was describing ME to others. IтАЩve had a dozen STLтАЩs (short time relationships) with various boys, a five year stint with a boy I referred to as Boy Special, dated a few non-working college type boys in places far off the beaten tourist track, and actually wrote a book on the subject which now sits on a shelf in my office straddled between a few framed pictures of HIM.
I know that you all have your own opinions (perspectives) about having LTRтАЩs with working boys, and my words here are not meant in any way to sway you from those opinions, just simply a means for me to express my own. IтАЩm also not suggesting, or promoting the fact that having a LTR with a working boy is the way to go, because, quite honestly, I think for most farangs, itтАЩs not the way to go.
Getting away from places like PTY, BKK and Phuket during my visits provided me with a much broader and deeper understanding of Thai culture, and this is something that I would recommend to anyone, especially farangs who plan on spending a lot of time in LOS, or already reside there. More specifically, anyone who wants to have a relationship (STR or LTR) with a Thai boy, outside of the routine of just offing them from a bar stage for a 1,000 baht hit in the hay. Once I started to understand their true natures I realized that there is absolutely no difference between the тАЬworking boysтАЭ and the тАЬnon-workingтАЭ boys except the clothes they sometimes wear and the amount of money they have to help support their families.
I havenтАЩt spent 4 months of every year for the past 9 years living and experiencing LOS without understanding a few things about the failure rate of LTRтАЩs between a farang and a Thai boy, althoughтАжand this will probably be tough for a few of youтАжI really could care less. The more I learned about them and myself through this fantastic journey, the more I came to realize why so many of these relationships fail so miserably. And I just said that with the full understanding that my relationship could fail miserably as well, although wonтАЩt allow the failure rate of others to steer my boat.
Not only did I marry a working boy, I married a fu*king maniac (just like me). HeтАЩs not at all the type that I was inclined to be with for any long period of time, nor do we share much in common. I like the discovery channel тАУ he likes cartoons, I like pop/rock music тАУ he listens to that weird Isaan folk junk, I prefer eggs & bacon in the morning тАУ he eats smelly fish with hot peppers, and the list goes on. As far as any intellectual conversationтАжforget it. If I mention the Swiss Alps he looks up in the sky and thinks IтАЩm talking about the craters on the moon, if I mutter a word about the economy, he looks in the cabinet to see how much rice is left in the bag and searches for change in his pockets. He doesnтАЩt even know where my country is located on a globe. He doesnтАЩt even know what a тАЬglobeтАЭ is! But for some strange and totally unexplainable reason I love him.
He is a ladyboy, tried and true, and a crazy one at that. I watched him transition over the years from a cute effeminate boy тАУ to a cute effeminate boy who started dressing a little feminine тАУ to a cute effeminate boy with small hormone induced tits who now alternates between dressing like a boy and a girl based on the alignment of the stars in the universe.. His moods also alternate between boy and girl. Once we spent a day walking up a small mountain that parallels the rice paddyтАЩs near his village. He was wearing a pair of baggy blue jeans and plain t shirt and had an old blue bandana wrapped around his forehead to keep the perspiration from running in his eyes. We were both hot, sweaty and filthy by the time we returned to his home. Two hours later he emerged from his house wearing makeup, a very short multi-colored mini-skirt, a pair of matching semi high-heeled shoes and a skimpy top that highlighted his small but noticeable tits. His gate changed from walking like any other boy, to walking like a formal runway model on TV, and he did this without even the least amount of concern in front of his entire family. There he was, standing on the front porch of his parents modest dwelling surrounded by rice paddies with a water buffalo posed in the background, looking like Ms.Teen Model. What really amazed me is not one single person, including his mother and father, showed any indication of interest in this whatsoever, not even the buffalo..
He is a truly amazing person, with a psycological fingerprint as complex as the universe and a personality as bright as the stars. In true nature, he is extremely shy which would appear to discount all the things IтАЩve said about him thus far, although, over time, he has learned to cope with his surroundings in a manner where his true shyness is usually concealed. His motives in life are quite clear, as is the case with most Thai boys (and girls). He wants to receive good merit from his family and the other members of his village, and be allowed to live a life as a member of the family and the villageтАжperiod!
ItтАЩs always been my opinion that in order to have a true relationship with a Thai boy, you first have to understand the dynamics of the family circle. I tried to describe my thoughts on this a while back on another thread and will try to do it again. In the West when a couple bonds they place themselves in the center of a circle. Around them in that circle are the parents and family members of both parties. In a str8 relationship, as the couple have children the circle grows, but again they (the couple) always remain at the center. In Thai culture (similar I expect to other Asian cultures), the parents of the Thai boy (or girl) are firmly positioned in the center of the circle. When the Thai boy bonds with a mate, regardless if he bonds with a farang or Thai, his mate simply enters the circle and the position of the parents never, and can never, be altered. ItтАЩs also my opinion that if a farang wants to bond, or just have a meaningful LTR with a Thai boy, he must find a way of bonding with the boys parents and other family members as well, or suffer the consequences of never being able to truly bond with HIM. The alternative of course, is if the boy youтАЩre with doesnтАЩt have a family.
I met SuтАЩs mother and father 2 1/2 years prior to our bonding and stayed with them and the other family members on several occasions in their village in Isaan. I learned as much as I could about them, their habit patterns, their beliefs, their life styles, and most importantly, about the true nature of Su. After a while it became clear to me that this is where his TRUE HAPPINESS resides. This is his mission in life. This is what theyтАЩre all about, nothing moreтАжand nothing less.
I also believe that he second most critical factor, in our relationship anyway, was the TRUST factor. This was at the root of every fight we ever had and the source of several break ups along the way as well. Neither one of us really ever trusted each other, even after living together for months at a time.. I know thatтАЩs sad to say, but itтАЩs the truth.
A pivotal moment in our relationship occurred, ironically, when we had both reached our darkest moments. I had a long and sincere talk with Su about our future together, and then wrote a long and sincere letter to his mother and father explaining the same points I was making to Su. We were at a point that we were either going to finish with each other permanently, or some major change (or miracle) had to occur. A few days after this confrontation, Su left PTY and returned home. He called me 3 days later and asked me to come up to his village. He went on to explain that his mother and father read the letter and wanted to talk to me. He expanded on this by saying that he wanted the same thing that I wanted and was willing to make THE CHANGE if I was. And thatтАЩs pretty much the transition weтАЩre both going through at this stage.
Su, never left his home village after my return home after the last holiday and shows no interest in ever returning to the bright lights of Pattaya again. This, in-and-by-itself is nothing short of a miracle as far as IтАЩm concerned. He went from a life of gold necklaces, parties, late-night discos, not to mention his addition to yaba, and, at least so far, hasnтАЩt looked back. We talk on the phone daily and he seems to enjoy handing the mobile to his mother or father, both of which have learned a few new English phrases. He avoids doing farm chores like the plague and has evolved into being the cook, not only for his direct family members, but the other villagers who work collaboratively in the same farm fields. His spends most afternoons either being captivated by the PayStation2 Game I gave him before I left town, or helping his mother and his sister collect fruit and vegetables for the evening feast. This may sound like the ultimate boredom to many (including me), but he seems to be content..
His parents take him on routine visits to the village monks. IтАЩm not sure if this is part of his rehabilitation from yaba, or just the extra luck they feel he needs in his relationship with me (LOL), but, whatever the reason, it seems to be helping things along. His voice sound healthy and his spirit seems to be flying. ItтАЩs becoming obvious that, after our bonding and SuтАЩs transition back to a normal life, that this has positioned him in a much higher standing in his village. Evan his father, who, for all practical purposes, totally alienated himself from Su years ago after realizing his son was of the feminine nature. Last month they worked on a project repairing SuтАЩs motor bike together. The TOGETHER part is significant here. Su also described how his father now takes him to the market when they shop for food, this being an invitation that never came in the past. All-in-all, SuтАЩs been doing his part тАУ now, itтАЩs my turn.
IтАЩll be returning to the Land of Oz in 2 weeks and for the first time in 9 years, wonтАЩt be renting the condo in Pattaya. No more luxury bath or ocean view balconyтАЩs, just a backpack and a basic room at the one-and-only hotel in the remote town of KantharalakтАжand I couldnтАЩt be happier. Regardless of what our futures hold, this trip is going to be nothing short of fantastic. We plan to travel a considerable amount which is something we really havenтАЩt done together before. He wants to go to Chiang Rai and Chiang Mai to visit relatives on his fatherтАЩs side of the family, and I want to spend a week or so on one of those floating house boats on the River Kuai near Kanchanaburi. We also plan to visit PTY to see friends and spend a few nights getting blasted at the disco, although wonтАЩt be staying there for very long.
Is this post a testament to some kind of successful long-termed relationship with a Thai boyтАжabsolutely not, as IтАЩm fully aware that things could change over-night. IтАЩm just simply choosing to express how happy I am right now - in this moment in my life. And whatтАЩs life really all about anyway? IsnтАЩt it just a continuation of those separate little moments?
Mai pen rai
WellтАжmy pre-holiday preparations are now in full swing as the launch date to Adventure #20 grows nearer. Only two more weeks to go, which marks almost four months since my feet have touched sand or felt the straps of my tattered sandals, and I canтАЩt wait. Actually, itтАЩs not the sand I miss so much, itтАЩs HIM, but I thought that sentence sounded nice.
Some of you probably remember my most recent escapades where I bonded with (married) my Thai BF (Su), and some of you havenтАЩt the foggiest. So for anyone reading this that may be in the fog, IтАЩll give you a little summary:
I hit the ground running in LOS about 9 years ago, butterflyтАЩd my ass off for 7 of those 9 years to the point that the very first time I heard the phrase тАЬHelicopterтАЭ it was being used in conjunction with a boy who was describing ME to others. IтАЩve had a dozen STLтАЩs (short time relationships) with various boys, a five year stint with a boy I referred to as Boy Special, dated a few non-working college type boys in places far off the beaten tourist track, and actually wrote a book on the subject which now sits on a shelf in my office straddled between a few framed pictures of HIM.
I know that you all have your own opinions (perspectives) about having LTRтАЩs with working boys, and my words here are not meant in any way to sway you from those opinions, just simply a means for me to express my own. IтАЩm also not suggesting, or promoting the fact that having a LTR with a working boy is the way to go, because, quite honestly, I think for most farangs, itтАЩs not the way to go.
Getting away from places like PTY, BKK and Phuket during my visits provided me with a much broader and deeper understanding of Thai culture, and this is something that I would recommend to anyone, especially farangs who plan on spending a lot of time in LOS, or already reside there. More specifically, anyone who wants to have a relationship (STR or LTR) with a Thai boy, outside of the routine of just offing them from a bar stage for a 1,000 baht hit in the hay. Once I started to understand their true natures I realized that there is absolutely no difference between the тАЬworking boysтАЭ and the тАЬnon-workingтАЭ boys except the clothes they sometimes wear and the amount of money they have to help support their families.
I havenтАЩt spent 4 months of every year for the past 9 years living and experiencing LOS without understanding a few things about the failure rate of LTRтАЩs between a farang and a Thai boy, althoughтАжand this will probably be tough for a few of youтАжI really could care less. The more I learned about them and myself through this fantastic journey, the more I came to realize why so many of these relationships fail so miserably. And I just said that with the full understanding that my relationship could fail miserably as well, although wonтАЩt allow the failure rate of others to steer my boat.
Not only did I marry a working boy, I married a fu*king maniac (just like me). HeтАЩs not at all the type that I was inclined to be with for any long period of time, nor do we share much in common. I like the discovery channel тАУ he likes cartoons, I like pop/rock music тАУ he listens to that weird Isaan folk junk, I prefer eggs & bacon in the morning тАУ he eats smelly fish with hot peppers, and the list goes on. As far as any intellectual conversationтАжforget it. If I mention the Swiss Alps he looks up in the sky and thinks IтАЩm talking about the craters on the moon, if I mutter a word about the economy, he looks in the cabinet to see how much rice is left in the bag and searches for change in his pockets. He doesnтАЩt even know where my country is located on a globe. He doesnтАЩt even know what a тАЬglobeтАЭ is! But for some strange and totally unexplainable reason I love him.
He is a ladyboy, tried and true, and a crazy one at that. I watched him transition over the years from a cute effeminate boy тАУ to a cute effeminate boy who started dressing a little feminine тАУ to a cute effeminate boy with small hormone induced tits who now alternates between dressing like a boy and a girl based on the alignment of the stars in the universe.. His moods also alternate between boy and girl. Once we spent a day walking up a small mountain that parallels the rice paddyтАЩs near his village. He was wearing a pair of baggy blue jeans and plain t shirt and had an old blue bandana wrapped around his forehead to keep the perspiration from running in his eyes. We were both hot, sweaty and filthy by the time we returned to his home. Two hours later he emerged from his house wearing makeup, a very short multi-colored mini-skirt, a pair of matching semi high-heeled shoes and a skimpy top that highlighted his small but noticeable tits. His gate changed from walking like any other boy, to walking like a formal runway model on TV, and he did this without even the least amount of concern in front of his entire family. There he was, standing on the front porch of his parents modest dwelling surrounded by rice paddies with a water buffalo posed in the background, looking like Ms.Teen Model. What really amazed me is not one single person, including his mother and father, showed any indication of interest in this whatsoever, not even the buffalo..
He is a truly amazing person, with a psycological fingerprint as complex as the universe and a personality as bright as the stars. In true nature, he is extremely shy which would appear to discount all the things IтАЩve said about him thus far, although, over time, he has learned to cope with his surroundings in a manner where his true shyness is usually concealed. His motives in life are quite clear, as is the case with most Thai boys (and girls). He wants to receive good merit from his family and the other members of his village, and be allowed to live a life as a member of the family and the villageтАжperiod!
ItтАЩs always been my opinion that in order to have a true relationship with a Thai boy, you first have to understand the dynamics of the family circle. I tried to describe my thoughts on this a while back on another thread and will try to do it again. In the West when a couple bonds they place themselves in the center of a circle. Around them in that circle are the parents and family members of both parties. In a str8 relationship, as the couple have children the circle grows, but again they (the couple) always remain at the center. In Thai culture (similar I expect to other Asian cultures), the parents of the Thai boy (or girl) are firmly positioned in the center of the circle. When the Thai boy bonds with a mate, regardless if he bonds with a farang or Thai, his mate simply enters the circle and the position of the parents never, and can never, be altered. ItтАЩs also my opinion that if a farang wants to bond, or just have a meaningful LTR with a Thai boy, he must find a way of bonding with the boys parents and other family members as well, or suffer the consequences of never being able to truly bond with HIM. The alternative of course, is if the boy youтАЩre with doesnтАЩt have a family.
I met SuтАЩs mother and father 2 1/2 years prior to our bonding and stayed with them and the other family members on several occasions in their village in Isaan. I learned as much as I could about them, their habit patterns, their beliefs, their life styles, and most importantly, about the true nature of Su. After a while it became clear to me that this is where his TRUE HAPPINESS resides. This is his mission in life. This is what theyтАЩre all about, nothing moreтАжand nothing less.
I also believe that he second most critical factor, in our relationship anyway, was the TRUST factor. This was at the root of every fight we ever had and the source of several break ups along the way as well. Neither one of us really ever trusted each other, even after living together for months at a time.. I know thatтАЩs sad to say, but itтАЩs the truth.
A pivotal moment in our relationship occurred, ironically, when we had both reached our darkest moments. I had a long and sincere talk with Su about our future together, and then wrote a long and sincere letter to his mother and father explaining the same points I was making to Su. We were at a point that we were either going to finish with each other permanently, or some major change (or miracle) had to occur. A few days after this confrontation, Su left PTY and returned home. He called me 3 days later and asked me to come up to his village. He went on to explain that his mother and father read the letter and wanted to talk to me. He expanded on this by saying that he wanted the same thing that I wanted and was willing to make THE CHANGE if I was. And thatтАЩs pretty much the transition weтАЩre both going through at this stage.
Su, never left his home village after my return home after the last holiday and shows no interest in ever returning to the bright lights of Pattaya again. This, in-and-by-itself is nothing short of a miracle as far as IтАЩm concerned. He went from a life of gold necklaces, parties, late-night discos, not to mention his addition to yaba, and, at least so far, hasnтАЩt looked back. We talk on the phone daily and he seems to enjoy handing the mobile to his mother or father, both of which have learned a few new English phrases. He avoids doing farm chores like the plague and has evolved into being the cook, not only for his direct family members, but the other villagers who work collaboratively in the same farm fields. His spends most afternoons either being captivated by the PayStation2 Game I gave him before I left town, or helping his mother and his sister collect fruit and vegetables for the evening feast. This may sound like the ultimate boredom to many (including me), but he seems to be content..
His parents take him on routine visits to the village monks. IтАЩm not sure if this is part of his rehabilitation from yaba, or just the extra luck they feel he needs in his relationship with me (LOL), but, whatever the reason, it seems to be helping things along. His voice sound healthy and his spirit seems to be flying. ItтАЩs becoming obvious that, after our bonding and SuтАЩs transition back to a normal life, that this has positioned him in a much higher standing in his village. Evan his father, who, for all practical purposes, totally alienated himself from Su years ago after realizing his son was of the feminine nature. Last month they worked on a project repairing SuтАЩs motor bike together. The TOGETHER part is significant here. Su also described how his father now takes him to the market when they shop for food, this being an invitation that never came in the past. All-in-all, SuтАЩs been doing his part тАУ now, itтАЩs my turn.
IтАЩll be returning to the Land of Oz in 2 weeks and for the first time in 9 years, wonтАЩt be renting the condo in Pattaya. No more luxury bath or ocean view balconyтАЩs, just a backpack and a basic room at the one-and-only hotel in the remote town of KantharalakтАжand I couldnтАЩt be happier. Regardless of what our futures hold, this trip is going to be nothing short of fantastic. We plan to travel a considerable amount which is something we really havenтАЩt done together before. He wants to go to Chiang Rai and Chiang Mai to visit relatives on his fatherтАЩs side of the family, and I want to spend a week or so on one of those floating house boats on the River Kuai near Kanchanaburi. We also plan to visit PTY to see friends and spend a few nights getting blasted at the disco, although wonтАЩt be staying there for very long.
Is this post a testament to some kind of successful long-termed relationship with a Thai boyтАжabsolutely not, as IтАЩm fully aware that things could change over-night. IтАЩm just simply choosing to express how happy I am right now - in this moment in my life. And whatтАЩs life really all about anyway? IsnтАЩt it just a continuation of those separate little moments?
Mai pen rai