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Smiles
February 20th, 2008, 12:58
On goes the experiment (as I so coldly declare it) in living long-term with a Thai partner.

We gladly ~ now thankfully ~ eschewed the opportunity to shack up in a gay paradise, but chose instead quiet little Hua Hin, a beach resort on the Gulf of Thailand about 3-4 hours drive, or bus, or train down south from Bangkok.
HH is hardly sleepy, yet does not include the crappy air and traffic congestion of Bangkok, nor the lousy beach and ocean water of Pattaya. It is also within reasonable traveling distance of these places, both of which we enjoy in small doses.
Phuket was considered (long ago) but discarded as just too far away from the rest of Thailand for ease of access.

Hua Hin is fairly 'straight' in character, and the main part of the economy is certainly tourism (mostly northern Europeans with smatterings of Americans & Canadians). Gay life here is centered around 7 or 8 gay venues, all small, and being comprised of host bars and (so-called!) show bars (see an earlier post for names and short review: http://www.sawatdee-gay-thailand.com/fo ... 13998.html (http://www.sawatdee-gay-thailand.com/forum/short-run-down-of-gay-bars-in-hua-hin-t13998.html) ).

The central tourist theme here (by a long shot) is The Beach . . . it goes along the coast from town for miles, and is clean, swimmable clear waters, often deliciously wave-ridden. The constant winds off the Gulf make for relatively cool days under the umbrellas, and the swimming here is as pleasant as one could wish considering this is a town beach, as opposed to some tropical lonely little bay getaway and beach where one can relax in solitude.

Our relationship has traveled apace further, and more telescoped in dynamism than it ever did while on 6 or 8 week holidays as has been the case these last 7 years. 'Reality' kicks in insofar as a million little things are concerned ... and some not so little: like finances (have to watch it, I'm retired, but hardly rich), what-to-do with ones time (an ongoing & sometimes stressful journey), "getting along" (me a minor neurotic tight-ass, him a music-blaring underwear-leaving free spirit) ... and more.
But, "it just gets better" right now seems to be the working phrase. My (and perhaps his) fears that it would be the opposite have largely dissipated and the accumulated anxieties (collected like used plastic bags during the months before departure last year) begin to float pleasantly away like the thinnest of gold leaf in a gentle wind.


Here are a few photos of days in our new Hua Hin home. I hope you can enjoy:


Khun Pot in his cups at the Look Narm Music Bar just outside town.
A very large barn of a place, it's packed to the rafters each and every night (hrs: 7 - 4am ... nothing really gets going until 11) with boozing Thai folks and the odd farang poking his head in with girl or boy friend. Food is very good (try the smoked pork bits with a tomato chili sauce ... to die) and by 1am it's dancing-on-chairs-time.
WE have a half bottle of whiskey sitting with our names on it there right now, so . . . maybe next week.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Photos%20from%20friends/looknarm31.jpg


Getting snuggly in Look Narm. Finally a decent photo of myself with the old man. Thais are ridiculously photogenic and tend to (unconsciously?) make their farang partners appear like a old 10-pointers unexpectedly caught in the headlights. But this one isn't half bad, so vanity allowed me to include it.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Photos%20from%20friends/dp.1.jpg


Mr Pot has a part time job working at our landlords beach consession up the beach. There's a method to his madness though .... this job allows him to sweet-talk up customers for his tour guide & transport business. He just put a fancy-dancy cover and seat combination on the truck a few weeks ago, and business is good right now during Hua Hin's high season. (He also snagged a 500 baht fine one day for operating without the proper 'tax' for his truck . . . "cost of doing business" in his view).
It helps very much at the beach that his english is very good, and he has a smile that lights up a room (thanks to 'Bob' for that thought!).


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Photos%20from%20friends/p.1.jpg


A working fishing boat, in a fishing village, just south of town. The road along the ocean south of Hua Hin (all the way to Chumpon ... as far as we have traveled so far) is loaded with tiny little bays, often with quite charming small beaches. We've found a few already, and will start to explore more over the next year.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Hua%20Hin%20Thailand%201/boat1.jpg


A shot in the beautiful and sweetly minimalist old royal palace just up north almost to Cha Am. This place is worth a visit (and more ... I've been 4 times now and love it every time) and is never over crowded.
Built in the early part of the last century, it was the King(s) of Thailand summer home for some years. It went into complete ruin in the 1930-1950's, but has now been totally restored ... and a terrific job they did of that.

A hauntingly peaceful place built right on the ocean, it's dimensions and scale are of a human proportion (unlike so many palaces), and it's colours (a light blue/turquoise and an ethereal yellow) sooth the mind.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Hua%20Hin%20Thailand%201/IMG_1109.jpg


Our home. A townhouse located just outside the main part of town .... 6 or 7 minute walk to the beach ... 4 minutes from 3 gay host bars ... 5 minutes from downtown. Scammed a good deal with 2 stories, 2 bath & bed, parking. A little front driveway which does double duty as a nice garden (it's bigger now, this photo was taken in early January) and many an argument as to whether it was meant for my plants, or his car! No winner as yet . . . it's a share.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Hua%20Hin%20Thailand%201/IMG_1078.jpg


I'll go out and take some photos of each one of the gay places here in the next few days (such is the luxurious time I have)and attach them to the other thread.

Cheers ...

Dodger
February 20th, 2008, 15:53
Smiles...

Wonderful Pictures!

In picture # 2 you and Suphot have bubbles coming out of your ears - what in the hell were you guys drinking?


mai pen rai

Dodger
February 20th, 2008, 15:55
Hey...

I just noticed the white strings around your wrists. Did you two tie-the-knot by any chance???

February 20th, 2008, 17:02
Smile...You da man!

catawampuscat
February 20th, 2008, 17:08
Nice thread Smiles and I hope you don't find opening up your life on this forum disappointing..
I recall a recent thread by Rainwalker about his life and he got sideswiped with rather nasty comments..

I do admire how you go where others fear to tread.. Even though we often butt heads, I do find you
among the more interesting posters and look forward to your observations on a part of Thailand, most of us
do not get to check out on our own..

Relationships are a bitch sometimes and it is encouraging to see when one works out (or is working out).
All too often, posters tell us about their relationships when things are going well but don't update us when things
change.. The "divorce rate" is very high here and it is uncommon for multi-year successful relationships to last..

There are many that do last but far more crumple, due to unmet expectations, the stress of 24/7 life styles and the vast
abundance of very available gorgeous guys to distract one from ones true love, especially when problems
and financial needs overtake the more pleasure able and sensual aspects of the relationship.. choke dee krup! :cat:

Smiles
February 21st, 2008, 12:31
Thanks for the words Cat.
I would hope that posting topics regarding the lesser-visited places in Thailand may go a bit of the way toward encouraging folks who visit this Board to also take some side trips to places like Hua Hin (and many others), which do not have the built-in and easy/lazy luxury of a large number of gay places spread out willy-nilly in front of ones nose ~ soi after soi after riotous soi ~ in which to cavort day-in and day-out.

This Board, like the others, is populated with essentially two 'types' of gay men ... the 'Butterflys' and 'Everyone Else'.
The former for the most part inhabit the three tips of the gay golden triangle: Bangkok, Patong, and Pattaya, and off boys 'till the cows come home for their entire holiday. This group also includes a fair number of Thailand expats who live permanently in Thailand and who indulge themselves in the same fashion. And for them, certainly no disparagement meant or implied from this corner, (though the group gets better prices) :blackeye:

The latter (i.e. 'everyone else') are probably looking for a different experience overall, with the gogo, host, and show bars of the above-mentioned cities only a part of it, rather than the whole enchilada.
These folks are, (1) also living longer-term in Thailand and already in a serious, longterm relationship, (2) hoping/looking for something along those lines, (3) seeing only a specific Thai guy and staying with him the whole trip, but not necessarily "serious" (yet!).
It is amongst this latter group that you'll probably find more interest in Thailand parts away from the beaten track ... places where finding a Thai guy to have sex with every night is not a "given", or possible, or even desired: Places where doing that is difficult, or a big challenge, or a task where much work is needed.

I hope starting topics of this nature (i.e. about places where "gayness" is hardly the criteria) will encourage many folks to indulge as well. Out there in unobvious places they may even find an unbeatable relationship (as I think I have) quite outta the blue . . . and believe me, not much trumps that!

But I agree with Cat ... happenings such as that are not ubiquitous, and certainly not easy. But they do happen.

Cheers ...

TrongpaiExpat
February 21st, 2008, 13:08
I have posted quite a few travel reports to places that are not on the "gay golden triangle" only to watch them drop down and off the page faster than a lead weight in water. Sometimes I just don't bother. Part of my motivation for posting some details of these trips is to encourage others to do the same but it has not been working. Just about every month, the BF and I take off for somewhere in Thailand and getting some first hand reports, tips and advise could be useful.

An other topic that I would like to see more posts is on Thai/Farang relationships. What were the problems and how did you deal with them. Conflicts over money, living together and monogamy would be interesting but I understand the reluctance to get too personal and suffer the attacks of those who are hear only to make fun of and denigrate posters.

bao-bao
February 21st, 2008, 14:43
I have posted quite a few travel reports to places that are not on the "gay golden triangle" only to watch them drop down and off the page faster than a lead weight in water. Sometimes I just don't bother. Part of my motivation for posting some details of these trips is to encourage others to do the same but it has not been working.

I wouldn't chuck it all in just yet, TE... I've met a number of board members this trip who have read posts here every day for a long while but have never posted once themselves. Don't think stories aren't read just because we don't get much of a response to them online.

I hope to make time to get photos and stories posted again after I'm back home. I've certainly had experiences this trip that I never thought I'd ever have: serving ice cream to 40 or so kids in Kho Pai slum, sleeping in a residence above a "common folks" medical clinic and visiting a "loom" where 10+ go-go boys are housed by their club boss, just to see where they are after the clubs and discos close.

So, keep posting. And Smiles - thanks for the story, by the way. See you and Pot tomorrow dinnertime.

dave_tf-old
February 21st, 2008, 16:33
Adored the photos and the text accompanying them. Especially loved the one of Pot on the beach. Buckets of hippy love to the both of you. I hope life provides me another chance to come and share some time with y'all.

Side note to Trongpai: I read and take notes, smile and imagine myself tagging along. I remember your first faltering experiences with great fondness and can't help but be glad for you that your steps are surer now--so please don't stop reporting them.

catawampuscat
February 21st, 2008, 17:02
Trongpai, the problem is that almost none of us has been to some of the provinces you report on and therefore can add
little if anything to your well thought out postings.
Sometimes, someone ask for info on some province (there are at least 77 of them), and then they get irritated that
no one responds..

Many of us are very provincial and rarely leave our comfort zones. There are Jomtien based farangs who never come to
Pattaya at night and many others who only go to Sunee Plaza or the Boyztown area and never check out other places..
There are some characters, who go so far as to only sit in one bar and at one table and if possible the same chair everyday..
Look for a couple of gin bottles on a table in a Sunee Plaza open air bar but just look and don't you dare sit down at that table..
You see, it is rented monthly by a couple of regulars who paid a few thousand baht a month just to have no one else sit at
their table.. They are working on a system to keep the same plastic chairs, but to little avail as yet..

Some of us (ex-pats) have our favorite bar stool and get there early to hold our place and some are a little more adventure loving and get
out of the rut.. It is a great idea as it is eye-opening and reminds us why we love our little nooks and crannies so much.. :cat:

TrongpaiExpat
February 21st, 2008, 18:34
Cat: Your describing Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_disorder)

pronto
February 21st, 2008, 19:21
Don't think stories aren't read just because we don't get much of a response to them online.

Very right, bao-bao. Reading posts such as the ones that you, TrongpaiExpat and Smiles write are my most enjoyable reading on the forum and what I look for. Please do keep up the excellent 'word pictures'! Thank you !!

February 22nd, 2008, 00:45
Thai/Farang relationships. What were the problems and how did you deal with them. Conflicts over money, living together and monogamy

After 5 years: "none, so I haven't had to"; "none so far / on the horizon (he gets a pension in the event of my demise)"; "none, but I would prefer him not to starch my underwear"; and "not a problem, except that his wants may be more frequent than mine, but at least no time is wasted explaining what those wants are".

Sounds complacent? Probably, but why not? I prefer to see myself just as very lucky.

Wesley
February 22nd, 2008, 09:07
Bravo ,bravo, Encore.Encore, more more.

Wes

Brad the Impala
February 22nd, 2008, 09:56
Trongpai, the problem is that almost none of us has been to some of the provinces you report on and therefore can add
little if anything to your well thought out postings.


When a poster takes the trouble to make a detailed post about his experiences/travels/relationships, it would be nice if anyone appreciates that post, just to make a small response noting that. You don't have to feel that you are adding to the thread.

That also has the added benefit of keeping the post on the front page, where it is more likely to be read, and appreciated, by others.

February 23rd, 2008, 12:46
I rarely log in to the forum, but your pictures and description of Hua Hin are compelling. Makes me want to do more exploring with my boyfriend ... perhaps find a place like that to try the "experiment" Wish you the best. Thanks for your post.

February 24th, 2008, 09:16
I have posted quite a few travel reports to places that are not on the "gay golden triangle" only to watch them drop down and off the page faster than a lead weight in water. Sometimes I just don't bother. Part of my motivation for posting some details of these trips is to encourage others to do the same but it has not been working. Just about every month, the BF and I take off for somewhere in Thailand and getting some first hand reports, tips and advise could be useful.

Another topic that I would like to see more posts is on Thai/Farang relationships. What were the problems and how did you deal with them. Conflicts over money, living together and monogamy would be interesting but I understand the reluctance to get too personal and suffer the attacks of those who are hear only to make fun of and denigrate posters.

I am SERIOSLY considering breaking down and sending Spiky my $25 to start a blog of my adventures. Trongpai and Smiles certainly have enough material to hold their own mini forum. I know if I started a topic of "Fun Things I've Seen in
Chainat" it would disappear pretty fast. Not yet, but maybe soon.

Spiky, you're getting closer and closer to another night out for dinner!