Advice please - is this a new scam?

A friend of mine who does not post here came to me for some advice recently, and agreed that I could post a summary to gain the board's collective wisdom.

He has lived here for a couple of years, and a year ago finished a 6 month relationship with a bar boy from Sunnee because the boy was stealing from him.
Now the boy has contacted him again, asking for help as he has aids.

My friend met the boy briefly and remarked how thin and listless the boy looked. The boy wanted money to pay for treatment, but my friend was not entirely convinced that the situation was genuine. He advised the boy to seek help from local organisations, and to get treatment from Dr Phillipe.

More requests for money followed, including one to pay for travel to N. Thailand "to say goodbye to parents"

My friend refused all requests for money, and saw the boy again a couple of nights ago in passing in Sunnee. The boy is still working, and now says he has to wait for the results of another test.

So, what do you think? Another scam, or could it be genuine? Is this just a new variation on the sick buffalo we haven't heard of before?


One thing that worries my friend is that the mama-san knows about the apparent aids condition and yet is still offing the boy to unsuspecting customers.

[jimnbkk]

First, take him to a doctor and get an AIDS test run on him. Not too expensive, and will answer your question.

If he has AIDS, then only you can decide how much or even if you want to help him.

My question: What bar? I want to make sure I don't go to that place when I'm visiting in February.

More requests for money followed, including one to pay for travel to N. Thailand "to say goodbye to parents"I particularly liked this touch. I recall a bar boy staying with me a few years ago who fired off email requests to all of his patrons ("You are my boyfriend, the others are just customers - because you don't give me enough baht") for money for blood transfusions for his mother. This was a quite regular need; she had to have a blood transfusion at least once a month, as I recall - it was his blood she used
:idea:

[bing]

When one has been ripped off, it sort of kills the relationship, but adding HIV to the equation, brings out a supporting gene in me. Having him tested does sound like a starting point, whether I would pump in a lot of finances would certainly depend on the depth of the feelings one might have for the young man. I have two friends I care for, but the stealing would be a factor that would tend to leave me cold. If he does have a case
of the virus, I think I would be a soft touch, if I could get past the stealing consideration. Good luck in seeking a solution. Hope you post your findings.

[travelerjim]

[quote="gwm4asian"]A friend of mine who does not post here came to me for some advice recently, and agreed that I could post a summary to gain the board's collective wisdom.

He has lived here for a couple of years, and a year ago finished a 6 month relationship with a bar boy from Sunnee because the boy was stealing from him.
Now the boy has contacted him again, asking for help as he has aids......

So, what do you think? Another scam, or could it be genuine?"

gwm4asian:

In my opinion....only ONE choice!

Have the boy see Dr. Philippe in Pattaya - the HIV/AIDS expert with HEARTT 2000.

The Pattaya Gay Festival supports his HIV/AIDS work each year by donations
of millions of Thai baht to his medical treatment and care of HIV/AIDS patients.

"HEARTT 2000"

[ Help Ensure AIDS Rescue Together in Thailand ]

1,596 Patients with HIV-AIDS seen / helped till 01.01.2008..

www.heartt2000.org (http://www.heartt2000.org)

If at all possible - go with the boy on the appointment with Dr. Philippe.
Dr. Philippe can determine what the REAL story and condition is of the boy.

Get the name & Doctor who has performed past tests on the boy showing he has HIV/AIDS virus...
That will help Dr. Philippe.

That way - you know the truth...and with Dr. Philippe's good advice, help and possible treatment,
the boy can obtain helpful medical care & treatment.

If the boy fails to see Dr. Philippe, then you have your answer!

Dr. Philippe's e-mail address is:

philippe.seur@gmail.com

Dr.Philippe Seur

154/14 M.10 Thappraya Road Soi 5

Interhouse Village. Pattaya City.

T.Nongpreu

A.Banglamung

J.Chonburi 20260.

THAILAND.

Thai.Mobile : 081.920.12.18. ( or 66.81.920.12.18 . from abroad )

Tel/Fax: 038.252.920. ( or 66.38.252.920 . from abroad )

Hope this helps find out the real truth ...
and can lead possibly to the boy getting treatment.

TravelerJim

[Bob]

While being reluctant to offer advice, your friend might want to first consider if he is or isn't going to help the boy. If the answer to that question is "no", then probably best to walk away. If it's "yes", I support the advice given by Jimbk and Traveler Jim (verify the situation and then decide what to do). Best of luck to him.

P.S. While I'm sure this doesn't have to be said, I trust your friend has also been tested.

[allieb]

I agree with what everybody has said so far. Establish first if he is telling the truth as stealing and lies go hand in hand, then decide what to do. I think if the boy does have aids your friend will help or he wouldn't be asking advise, the concern is there already.


My question: What bar? I want to make sure I don't go to that place when I'm visiting in February.

Jim Re- your question.
It doesn't really matter what bar he works in if you practice safe sex. Do remember there must be a hell of a lot of boys with HIV still working the bars we don't know about. Chances are we have all offed them

[Lunchtime O'Booze]

if he is ill-help him out. It's only money. In fact help him out even if he isn't ill.

Forgiveness will do wonders for your karma. ( donate to heart2000 as well)

Is the question, "How far is it from thief to scam artist?... Or how far one is willing to go with the game?"

This reminds me of the time Cho, who spoke excellent English, told me he had a brain tumor and needed an operation.
I said, "Okay, tomorrow we will go to American Hospital. They will shave your head, cut off the top of your skull, cut out the tumor and sew your skull back on. You will look sort of like Frankenstien--But cute ... sure. Your hair will grow back in about a month...maybe. Okay?"
He thought a long minute and said, "Maybe you buy me a clock radio, instead?"
That was ten years ago. He's just fine, just as sly--And just as adoreable.

If it's a scam, the num will find an excuse not to go for the HIV test--And know he's not trusted. Does your friend care?

Bus fare to from Peetown to North Thailand isn't all that much. Your friend could offer Num a 24 hour deal: "I will buy you a bus ticket & I will to help you pack--Then I'll take you to the bus ... (And put you on it!)"
No compromises.
No modifications.
No "money for Mama." (Since Mama will be happy to see him--And take good care of him.)
If he--Actually--gets on that bus, you may kick in a "farewell gift" ... Up to you.

[Smiles]

I'm with Edith on this one 100%. (Though hardly as cynical, mean-spirited, or sticky shit).

Cheers ....

[Lunchtime O'Booze]

which one of us wouldn't do the same in their place ??.

and who the hell is usnutrition ??..what a creepy name.

If it is a scam it is not a new one; I was made aware of it and posted about it on this board around three years ago.

I do not want to deter your friend from getting involved, far from it, but my view then, and now, is that if your friend wants and can afford to get involved he must realise fully what getting involved personally means, and that he may well find himself going through the emotional stress that others posting here are clearly going through. Only if he is prepared for that and can deal with it financially and emotionally (once he has seen a verified test), then get involved, go with him for treatment / tests / specialists, etc. If he wants to help the individual, but does not want to become emotionally involved, then arrange to pay for his treatment directly (plus other expenses, if he wants to) but only on the condition that the boy leaves him alone (although in practice this could more distressing if the boy visibly needs treatment but comes to him for more help). If he is not prepared for at least some level of involvement and stress, then he should step away now.

With all due respect to travelerjim, he does have a choice and that choice should be respected; he should not feel obliged to become involved because of a six month relationship that ended a year ago after the boy stole from him. Not everyone can deal with the stress and emotion that this involvement may lead to and he should become involved only if he wants to, not because he feels obliged or pressured to do so either by the boy or by his peers.

Whatever choice he makes he has my sympathy as he is in the unenviable position that he will suffer, through no fault of his own, whichever decision he makes.

[Nathan B]

My question: What bar? I want to make sure I don't go to that place when I'm visiting in February.

Why do you not want to go to a bar where a boy may be HIV+? You surely don't think any bar in Pattaya is HIV free? You take precautions to keep safe, don't you. Or maybe you can tell if he's HIV+ just by looking?

[Lunchtime O'Booze]

I've never left a relationship on a sour note-even when it's the other party at fault.

Of course many Thai lads try it on-it's a tough life after all and despite the claim they have farangs lined up non-stop it just isn't true. Most see the each relationship as perhaps the one ( even if they aren't "in love").

I've even helped out ex-lovers after they have stolen from me ( including those in the West). Try it sometime-you will be surprised when 10 years later a person rocks up to and expresses gratitude and you realize he was once that handsome boy you were mad about. I feel privileged to now be acquainted with half a dozen exes..I expect them to turn up at my funeral and sing a song at my wake (..OK ..one or two may dance on my grave..whatever turns them on !)

One of my dearest friends now is a lad who burgled my flat in London..he was so overwhelmed when I remained his friend and came to his aid years later that he would virtually do anything for me.

Particularly in Thailand -you need friends, not enemies. :boxing:

[thaiguest]

I had the harrowing experience of bringing a young (22 yr. old) boy for his first test for hiv. We went to one of the clinics on Soi VC. I paid the fee; only about 800 baht. The attitude of the doctor (Thai) was to me shocking at the time "yes, he HIV positive, 800 baht please, he no more sex".( He also had advanced syphilis which I got treated in a local hospital.)
I then brought him to Dr. Phillippe who did a more detailed examination and now he's one of his long term patients. He does not need any retroviral drugs at the moment but will need them down the road.
The only one upset in this scenario was me. When I sat with the boy in the Soi VC clinic and when he got his first result, I became very upset but my friend was not at all upset and indeed was confused by my reaction.
Since then I've supported him vis.a.vis travel costs to Dr. Phillippe's surgery, accomodation etc. but he, in the meantime, has gone back to school and couldn't care less.
I'm the only one in this whole story who's upset- Amazing Thailand!

[Lunchtime O'Booze]

"I'm the only one in this whole story who's upset- Amazing Thailand! "

that's because Thais have a much more c'est la vie attitude than us from the West. When you don't have much in the way of material possessions it's a bit like you have less to lose..even when it's your life.

[Dodger]

Gwm...

If the boy has lost a lot of weight...is still turning tricks in Sunee...and is pumping you for money, I'd put the probability at around 99% that he's addicted to Yaba.