Oot's Journey Home - now www.ootandjame.com

[globalwanderer]

My Boyfriend, best mate, Oot passed away in a fishing accident new Years Day. I am writing this now as I have only just got back from the funeral near Trat. As he had been on the scene for 5 years some of you may have known him

Oot was only 20 and I'd only known him for 8 short months but we had supported each other in life for that period. He had worked for 5 years in the bars but I'd got him to quit in September. Over the last 5 years he had worked at many bars including Gentlemen, Wild West, Sunee and Jomtien. His last working months were at Crystal where his number was 22. He was always in the shows, and his special piece was Sex Bomb.

He had started English lessons and we were about to open a small business.

I was privileged to be part of the rites over the 5 days he was lying in the temple and will write my experiences up over the next few days



Somchay Pansorn (Oot) Born 7/11/2530. Died 1/1/2551

What a terrible disaster. My deepest condolences to you globalwanderer.

Time will heal a bit and that ache inside will ease.

I am sure that by writing here you are not bottling it up and that's good.




I DID NOT DIE -
by Rosalie Ferrer Kramer

Do not stand by my grave and grieve.
I am not there, I did not leave.
For IтАЩm that distant shining star.
IтАЩm all around you, never far

I am the sparkle in childrenтАЩs eyes.
I paint the blue in the autumn skies.
And in those cool sweet summer eves,
I hide in the shadows the sunshine weaves.

Yes together we laughed and cried,
But now I'm ever at your side.
For as long as I am in your heart,
We'll never really be apart.

So live your life and do be gay,
And look forward to that day,
When somewhere just around the bend,
We will surely meet again.

[daa raa]

I had the privilege of spending a night with Oot about a year ago. He was a very kind and caring young man.
Gobalwanderer I am very sorry to hear about your loss.

[globalwanderer]

What a terrible disaster. My deepest condolences to you globalwanderer.

Time will heal a bit and that ache inside will ease.

I am sure that by writing here you are not bottling it up and that's good.

thanks, only by talking and sharing can I start to heal. And I am sure many will be interested to read about being involved in a Thai funeral. And it's what Oot would have wanted

[bao-bao]

globalwanderer -

My sincere sympathy to you as well as balu. Writing things out often helps me, and I look forward to hearing your story about the funeral.

[catawampuscat]

In my years of living in Thailand, I have known many farangs and Thais, who have since died.
Motor bikes accidents, drug/alcohol overdoses, street brawls including guns and knives, suicides,
murders top the list of causes. Illnesses such as HIV-AIDS and others should be included.

The farangs are much older in general and many of the diseases of the elderly are their causes of death.
I believe many farangs decided to come to a place like Thailand when they know their days are numbered
and the end is near. Suicide is another cause for those of any age who suffer from the broken heart of illusion
and delusions being smashed by the ugly face of reality..

It is more tragic when a young person dies than when an octogenarian dies.
The Thais do not behave and treat death the same way as Westerners do. There are few tears at cremations and sometimes
it resembles an Irish wake, with alcohol soothing the pain and relaxing the mourners. They seem to celebrate the
deceased rather than bemoan.. They seem to accept the cycle of life and let go more easily.
Death is much more common in "3rd world countries" , where extending life on machines would not happen.
The fear of death seems much more prevalent in the West but this is just an opinion from this humble poster.. :cat:

[globalwanderer]

At oot's cremation there were plenty of tears from the Thais at the cremation and throughout the whole process. At the very end there were 12 of us in the crem, all with tear stained cheeks as they opened the furnace door and we though water on oot's burning body. Many of even close family could not bear to be there for that part and when I walked down from the crem and talked to people you could see that they all were grieving

[Aunty]

My condolences to you, Oot and his family. Perhaps when you feel up to it, you could give us a full account of Oot's funeral and his passing.

[globalwanderer]

My condolences to you, Oot and his family. Perhaps when you feel up to it, you could give us a full account of Oot's funeral and his passing.

I am currently writing up my diary from the notes I kept from the time I heard until I got back to Pattaya. It is my intention once complete to post it together with some photos of the funeral.

but bear with me it will take a few days!

The loss of a loved one is hard enough to bare if it is a dear friend who has lived a good life, but when your heart is extended to a young guy who tries his best to please you, because all he has is his heart and body to give, to the few who he becomes attached to, it seems to be much more heart breaking.

I would consider my self very street wise about life, having owned and run Night Clubs and Hotels and HostelтАЩs, but I too was devastated, as you may remember if you was reading this site around August this year, when my dear friend I use as my avatar, was taken from me, and all his friends, I could accept the fact he was dead, until I went to the Funeral to see his body burn, after the family had spent the morning preparing him to look as normal as they could, you could almost think he was taking a Nap, with his wonderful black hair glistening in the sun light. but to then watch as the Monks chanting and to see 8 of his handsome friends, bring out his body on a wooden stretcher not a box, to then witness the lighting the fire, on his Family Farm, it was just a bit to much for even me and every one else, the only persons not crying was the Monks, the person who says they do not cry, just has not been touched by an Angel as we have, some people are so hard hearted and ruthless they don't seems to have any feelings for any one, apart from them selves, and just use the boys as if they bought a bit of meat from the market, "The, Whats in it for Me, syndrome" but as we all know to receive real love, you have to be able to give it, with out wanting anything in return, same as you have to earn there respect, I did meet Oot before and he was truly a nice genuine guy.

Your loss will fade in the distance as the funeral has with me, but I was very lucky as if my Ole was giving his best friend to me, we use to go to see тАШDongerтАЩ (his nick name) Boxing, as he is the Champion Muay Thai boxer in Nong Khai, to look at, you would never know it, until he starts his ballet like dance ritual, in the ring and then like a stealth missile every punch counts and he wins, even though I like his hair long, he cant fight now and hopes not have to, as long as he is with me I hope it will be a long time, but we do have amazing fun together, traveling a lot and on one big holiday, I did not think of him as a potential lover, even though we use to laugh all the time together....I was very Interested in another stunning guy, I met in Nong khai, as I normally go for Trophy boys or stunners, but when I found out he was not carrying the right equipment and my boxer was, bingo it was real love.. from then onтАж.but he was the one who pushed me into a friendship and I must say, when I found out it was not only the part you can see on his body, that was amazing, but he is one of the most genuine, fun, protective, loving guys, you could ever wish for, I have not been so happy for a couple of years and also I have now found that my business has taken off again and my fortune is back on track thank god, so may be Ole is shinning down on us, as IтАЩm sure Oud will be for you, as your memories will only be good ones as time goes by.

Below I can share my experiences of the funeral with you, if you have not already read it before. some guys think its boring to read what farangs have to say about there beloved and are so cynical but the majority are with you all the way and read every word as i found when my Angel was murdered.

http://www.gaythailand.com/forums/index ... topic=1918 (http://www.gaythailand.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=1918)

Good luck with any future guy you meet, may be like me you might have a nice guy you would not normally go for, come up to you and say lets be friends. I like you so much, as with my new boy, who lost his mother and father together in a motor bike accident, so may be we helped each other with our loss, as IтАЩm sure you will when you write your boyтАЩs obituary, with love.

DonтАЩt worry I was not going to say anything about it on the forums, but a good friend who knows us both, wrote about it, as I thought it would be boring to go into details about a funeral and a Murder, as you read above, but I was gob smacked as I had over 100 messages and emails about it, so around the World there is many wonderful people, who will genuinely shower you with warm Interest. And Love.

[naklua]

I am deeply shocked to learn about Khun Oot's passing away.

Just two or three days ago I was talking to my Thai bf, who currently stays with me in Farangland, that I would like to see Oot again on our next trip to Pattaya planned for March.
My boyfriend and me have known Oot for quite some time, back from his Gentlemen days and also later, when he changed to work at Crystal where he worked out his body very nicely. Oot was always a very pleasant guy, most of the times on the rather quiet side. His personality did not change for the worse during the years as opposed to many other boys who work in the bar scene for a prolonged time. He was sensitive and gentle but also a enthusiastic when the time was right.
He was one of my all-time favourites, after having visited LOS for more than 10 years. My bf also liked him very much and the two came along very well.

Oot - I wish for you to rest in peace.

I too lost a wonderful boy to the dreaded disease a number of years ago. He was so full of life. Loosing the young is always so much more difficult because we feel they did not even get the chance to live. My deepest condolences to you globalwanderer and to his family and friends.

Dont know how you are coping with this. i would be totally useless.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us and may you find solace soon .

[globalwanderer]

So much to do, even in death Oot is keeping me busy. Last night offed three of his friends and went to play bingo, one of Oot's favorite past times then on to Hollywood before returning to Wild West about 1 for the Wild West/Crystal/Honey Boys New Year party for the boys. Drifted home in the late earky hours! Anyway here is the first part of my diary.

The Journey North

January 1st 2051 тАУ 1742hrs - The phone rings. Must be Oot I think as IтАЩd tried to call half an hour earlier. Unknown number, maybe heтАЩs out of credit and has borrowed a phone. I answer the phone. ItтАЩs his friendтАЩs sister. тАШYou know Oot go Sakon NakhonтАЩ she says. Yes I respond. тАШOot go fishing with my brother, have accident, they both dieтАЩ. In shock and disbelief I confirm that she meant he was dead. We are going north and his family will meet him there. Do you want to come? Yes I said, naturally. тАШOK we come your room in 20 minutesтАЩ 1807, a call. WeтАЩre here. I go down and am offered the front seat. The pick up is full of people. Nothing was sinking in. It was just not possible.

And so started a 14 hour journey north. Although I had only had a couple of hours sleep the previous night, sleep would not come. Every couple of hours we stopped for food and toilets. I could not face eating, but knew I had to so resorted to comfort food of Mars Bars and drinking coffee. My mind was alive thinking about my time with Oot, everything we had done. The good times and the bad. As did everyone in the car I kept breaking down. Everything we had planned for the future passed through my mind. The journey went surprisingly quickly.

At one of the pit stops I bought a notebook and pen as I knew if I did not write it down as it happened it would all become a blur. The decision to publish came later, I asked Oot and he seemed to say it was what he wanted. I realised that at a moments notice IтАЩd thrown a few things in a bag, jumped in a car with people I hardly knew to head the length of Thailand and had not told anyone. I quickly sent a couple of texts and my friend who lives in manila called me to chat. As he did at least once a day from then on during the next days.

Eventually at about 6am the driver said he needed to sleep for 30 minutes. I said, good idea, weтАЩve had enough accidents for this year. Whilst he slept I wandered away from the group and talked to Oot. We had made a pact many months ago to look after each other for ever. It was supposed to be me dead and him taking care of everything. It was less than 2 months since we had celebrated his 20th birthday with his family.

In some ways this talking seemed to calm me, and when someone said we go now, home in 2 hours, I felt calm and spent the time trying to prepare myself to be strong for whatever was to come. Not knowing what was going to happen or when I think would come to help me through the process. All I knew is that it would not be like an English Funeral.

I felt calm as we pulled up outside a temple and some of the people got out. His friends sister said, we nearly at my house, 1 kilometre and rested her arm on my shoulder. The grief returned. Oot was near, I felt it.

We got back in the car and drove the last kilometre. Except it was the last 5 kilometres and pulled outside a house. The balloons still festooned it, left over from New Year celebrations. Opposite was another house with people sitting around outside. Come we go my house see Oot they say. So we walk over and go upstairs. On the balcony there are two coffins, Oot and his young friend. We knelt by the coffin, took the lid off. A blanket covered his body. One of the sandals had come of his feet, they put it back on. I knelt, inconsolable, my hands touching his through the blanket. We put his Playstation and remote control car in the coffin. They offered to pull the blanket of his face so that I could see him. I said no. I was not ready for that yet; it was already more than I could bear. We just all knelt there in grieving. Our cheeks all tear strewn. We moved to the head of the coffin and burned incense for Oot. The lid was replaced. I tried to compose myself, stood and walk down stairs. One of his friends came over and said, come you need to eat. Oot wants you to eat. You did not eat on the journey. Though food was the last thing I felt like I knew they were right. After some food I spent the next hour or so wandering to a quiet spot to think and talk to Oot and then returning to kneel by the coffin.

Then someone said тАШOotтАЩs family hereтАЩ. I walked over to meet them, not sure what to say. Not knowing what would happen next or when. His sister hugged me. They went upstairs. I let them have a few minutes alone with Oot then went up and joined them. They took the cover from his face and now I was ready to look. Seeing his face I finally accepted he was not going to walk around the corner any moment.

We walked downstairs. His sisterтАЩs husband came to me and said тАШWe are taking Oot home Bo Rai, you are coming with usтАЩ. I was not sure whether it was a statement or a question. Not that it mattered. I had promised to look after him forever. This meant I had to ensure he got home safely.

We went into town to sort paperwork, buy some food for the trip and have something to eat. I was not hungry but accepted a beer. I could hear Oot jokingly sayingтАж you no drink too much beer you get fat. I no like. Only one I said.

We returned to the house then jumped in two cars to go visit the site of the accident. A flat peaceful looking lake not far from the house. We knelt and burned incense and thought of the two young lives so tragically lost.

We went back to the house. My bag was put in the minibus then oot was brought down the stairs, not an easy task and put on the back of a pick up then covered in a blanket. His belongings were loaded, a blanket put over the coffin and he was securely tied in.

His mother and sister got into the back seat of the pick up. They were handed a big bag of rice and a bag of 1bht coins together with a pot and incense sticks. I set off for the minibus, but his sisters husband took my arm and said тАШNo the family want you ride with Oot, it is what Oot would have wanted. DonтАЩt worry about your bag itтАЩs in the minibusтАЩ. And so it was, some nineteen and a half hours after receiving the call, having driven the length of Thailand that I was fulfilling my promise to look after him whatever, and see that he got home safely.

[krobbie]

globalwonderer, I cannot begin to tell you how sad I am that your lover and friend has died. I weep for your loss.

Thank you for the first instalment of your farewell to Oot. A moving and irrisistible account.

krobbie

[globalwanderer]

All the way home incense was kept burning in the cab and at bridges, junctions, police checkpoints and shrines the horn was sounded and 1 baht coins and rice were dropped from the car window by his sister.

As I sat there, I felt OotтАЩs presence and he was never out of my mind. It was as if he was saying тАШDonтАЩt worry I am looking down on youтАЩ. Every couple of hours we would stop of a drink, food or diesel. I always walked to the back of the pick up, touched the coffin and talked to him.

Shortly after midnight it was as if Oot sensed I was in need of sleep. As my mind suddenly seemed to calm and as I rested my head, I drifted off to sleep. I managed to get a couple of hours sleep, my first since New YearтАЩs morning.

We reached the Sukhumvit and stopped for the last time. I was on familiar territory. I knew the way know and knew where I was. I went back and told him heтАЩd be home in about an hour.

On arrival in Bo Rai we drove past his house to the temple and stopped outside the Sala, an open sided assembly hall. His father came over and greeted us. Preparations were started. A large container was placed on top of the dais at the end of the room. Obviously the coffin would be going in there. Oot was brought into the room. The lid was taken off the coffin and the blanket pulled back. A chance for those who had not travelled north to pay their respects. The end of a ball of white cotton was attached to his hand; the coffin was closed and then lifted and placed inside the box. The box was obviously refrigerated as it was then plugged in! The thread was then taken and wound round the Buddha. On turn we knelt before the coffin and burnt incense.

The travellers went back to his house, only some 200 metres distant, a path I would walk many times over the coming days. We showered and I was shown to a room and said you can sleep here if you want. I said no thanks, I donтАЩt feel tired, and anyway I want to do what Oot would want. And so it was agreed that I would sleep on the Sala floor with the family. They pointed at mats at the back of the Sala and said тАШthereтАЩs a pillow and blanket for you. When you want to sleep just go and lie down.тАЩ Then food was brought out and we all ate. Somehow, having got Oot back home the appetite came back.

At about 6, Oot took care again and my mind calmed and I went over and lay down. I set my alarm for 8 and quickly fell asleep. I woke up at 7.30 after a peaceful sleep. IтАЩd only slept an hour and a half but felt refreshed.

[globalwanderer]

The dais and coffin were being decorated with flowers and lights. I suddenly realised I had no idea of what was to happen when, or how long things would go one, or what was expected of me. And no one I knew who spoke enough English! Maybe not knowing was best. Always looking at my watching thinking another X hours/days until the cremation.

As the tallest person there I was asked to put the flower arrangement on top of the coffin.

People started putting money into envelopes and handing them to OotтАЩs mother. I knew from what I had read that this was donations to the costs. I knew I wanted to contribute, but how much. Did not want to appear cheap or give so much that the family felt I was trying to take over. I didnтАЩt even know how much the whole thing would cost, especially as I did not know how long or what was involved. As I was pondering his sisterтАЩs husband came over and said you want to come shopping with us. I said yes, something to do. As we drove into town he asked if I could help pay for the funeral. I said yes, of course, how much will it cost. He said maybe 30,000. I said OK, IтАЩll pay half. I had drawn 20,000bht on the journey north expecting there to be costs and wanting to be contribute to the costs. What was an embarrassing situation on both sides was resolved. We returned to the temple, I took 15,000 from my pocket and handed to him. I did not put it into an envelope as I had read that such contributions were often given to the temple after the funeral. I wanted to share the familyтАЩs burden. I said to him if it costs more tell me and IтАЩll give half. I want to be sure that we do everything right for Oot. The next baht I spent, other than on myself was to the taxi driver when I was back in Pattaya.

The gambling rings I had heard about had started. People playing cards and bingo. I smiled to myself, Oot loved bingo. Of course they were тАШhidingтАЩ behind a stack of chairs or playing in the kitchen.

I felt the need to be alone so I told OotтАЩs sister I was walking into town. IтАЩd already realised that I had just put my only clean shirt on. So I said I need to buy a shirt. IтАЩll drive you and look after you. No I said, itтАЩs only a short way and I need the exercise. Oot not like I get Pom-Pooy. I enjoy a walk everyday. Eventually she relented and off I went. Bo Rai is not a large place and the market is only a 10 minute walk anyway. From my previous visits I knew the only place likely to have shirts was near the market and was expecting to struggle to find farang size. I found some but then had to choose. Discounted anything with logos, but what colour. Eventually I chose two, one black, his favourite colour and one red the colour of his favourite team, Liverpool. Mind there was not that great a choice of shirts that would fit.

I wandered slowly back to the house dropped the shirts off and walked up to the temple. Lace curtains were being hung over the coffin. A photo of Oot was placed in front of the coffin with his name and dates of Birth and death written below.

Food was brought out and I was invited to eat. The first of many communal meals I would have sitting on the floor of the Sala with his family and friends. I was told one of the dishes was OotтАЩs favourite. I tried some. Very spicy but I ate it. Of course before we ate his father took a tray of food for Oot and placed it at the head of the coffin. A task he repeated every meal time.

About three I decided to go for a shower and grab some sleep. I set the alarm for 6.30. I did not want to sleep to long as I wanted to get a good night's sleep that night. I woke at 5.30, refreshed, showered and wanderer back to the temple. I was enjoying these walks, a time to reflect and talk with Oot.

Back at the temple everything was laid out for the monks. There were rows of chairs inside, but everyone was sitting on the chairs outside. Food was served again.

A red thread was tied round the thread on my wrist that had been attached when we went to the temple on his birthday. I knelt before the coffin and burned incense. I was asked to sit on the chairs inside the Sala. I looked around, apart from the local dignitaries who were sitting at the front, I was the only person inside who was not a blood relative. which members of the close family also did. At 7.45 8 monks came in and OotтАЩs sister came and sat next to me and said, just follow what I do. The chanting began. Then OotтАЩs sister brought out bowls and glasses of water and gave them to some of the guests. The final bowl was brought over and we held it together. OotтАЩs sister put her hand on my heart and said its OotтАЩs and tapped my heart. Then as the chanting started we slowly poured the water from the glass to the bowl. After the monks left, the bowls of water were taken and poured out under a tree.

The gambling resumed in the kitchen. The guests drift away and then a bottle of 100 Pipers is broken open. One of OotтАЩs brothers arrived from Pattaya and came over and sat next to me. He speaks fairly good English which most of the family do not. He explains that there are two more nights of the same and then we take Oot next door to the crematorium at 1300 on Sunday. We chatted about Oot and the last time we had birth talked to him by phone. His sister came over and asked if I wanted to go back to the house to sleep. I told her I was sleeping here with Oot until the cremation. She went and set out a pillow for me.

Eventually tiredness and lack of sleep got the better of me, and I wandered over and lay down. I was asleep almost before my head hit the pillow. IтАЩd just talked to him and told him I needed to sleep so maybe he was helping.

[globalwanderer]

The full diary is also on my website www.thaiwanderer.co.uk (http://www.thaiwanderer.co.uk). I am in the process of uploading photos of the whole expeience that Oot's (now also My) family requested I took

I woke about 7.30 the following morning, January 4th. Given only a thin straw mat separated me from the floor I had had a surprisingly good, uninterrupted sleep. Wandered down to the house for a shower. Before I could go upstairs, his brother brought out a massive bowl of scrambled eggsтАж so large in fact that try as I might I was defeated half way through, so I went up and showered.

Of course when I say showered I mean I went upstairs and poured cold water from a tank over my body, soaped and then rinsed... I actually find it more refreshing in the heat.

I came back downstairs and decided it was time to give some order to the jottings of the last few days, so I sat writing and drinking the large cup of coffee which had been set out for me. I started thinking about what to do тАШafterтАЩ. Decided IтАЩd reedit the videos we had done on our trips and around Pattaya into a new one to celebrate his life. That would, I decided, need more pictures of the town and temple. Good I thought, a task for me to do today to keep me busy, exploring the town with my camera. The long spells of inactivity were becoming the problem. It was at this point I decided IтАЩd post the diary, or at least an extract, on my www.thaiwanderer.co.uk (http://www.thaiwanderer.co.uk) website and dedicate the site to him.

Mid morning I wandered back to the temple and shortly after OotтАЩs sister asked me to go тАШmarketingтАЩ with her. I was puzzled then realised that if you went to the shops you went shopping, so if you went to the market you went тАШmarketingтАЩ. We drove to the local market and bought fruit, rice and vegetables. Even though my Thai is highly limited and could tell for the way they acted and the responses that they wanted to know who this strange farang in town was. One the way back we stopped at a shop to buy the families тАШplaqueтАЩ A sheet of card about 3ft by 4ft on which there was a large padded cloth symbol was mounted. His sister narrowed it down to 2, but could not decide which one. She asked me to choose for them. I looked. Help me I said to Oot. I tried to think which Oot would like and decided finally on the red one as red was the colour of Liverpool. She decided on the message which was written out and attached. We returned to the temple and knelt before the coffin burning incense as the plaque was hung next to the coffin.

Her husband joined us and we went out for some lunch. Noodles at a little tin shack just outside town. One return I decided I needed some exercise. I was eating far more than I normally did and could feel the weight going on. Oot and I had always joked with each other if either put a pound on. I told his family that I was off for a long walk as I needed to get rid of a few pounds as Oot would not want me to put weight on. So I went off, collected the camera and spent a couple of hours walking round town taking photos of anything and everything.

I went and showered about 5. I knew the routine now and that there would be food shortly and that the monks would return. Sure enough shortly after I arrived at the temple food was served. Another of OotтАЩs favourites, Red Curry, amongst the dishes.

The I was asked if I wanted to buy a plaque. Yes of course I said so we went back into town. Again I let his sister narrow down the choice to two. Picked an orange one with a star on it. And inscription was added тАШFrom Jame тАУ In my HeartтАЩ. We returned and knelt in front of Oot as it was hung alongside the coffin. His sisterтАЩs husband came over fiddling with his camera. Jame he said, you know why it no work? I took it, did the obvious, and checked the batteries. No response. Do you want me to bring mine from the house I said? Yes he said. So I did.

When I came back I offered it to him. No he said you take photos everything. My first thought was тАШGuide Me Oot, IтАЩve never been a funeral photographer before, I donтАЩt know what is inappropriate in Thai culture. You take everything he said. OK I though! Then the word тАШHelp!тАЩ screamed through my head. As took a couple of shots as the monks came in. Then he took me up to sit on the edge of the raised platform to take photos of the monks. He just kept saying. Ok can, no problem. The he gestured to take photos of the guests. Indicated I should walk around doing so. After the monks left I was asked to take various group photos in front of the coffin. Same tomorrow he said!

Another farang had turned up so I went over to play the host and talk to him. He was visiting his girlfriend for 4 weeks who he had just bought a house for on the outskirts of town. Although it was pleasant to talk to a farang, IтАЩd have chosen just about any other one! The conversation started with тАШSo which one is your girlfriend?тАЩ Before I responded his lady said to him - I tell you already, and pointed to the coffin and said His friend Oot, he die. He looks and turns back to me and said тАШAh but you live in Pattaya, there are many nice ladies, you must have at least one girlfriend.тАЩ Suppressing the desire to throttle the guy I just said no and moved the subject on for the sake of Oot and his family тАУ I did not want to cause a scene. The comments he was making made me wonder why he had ever visited Thailand. His girlfriend kept rolling her eyes at some of his comments and OotтАЩs family kept filling my glass of beer as fast as I was drinking it. I went of to the toilet and one the way back his brother saidтАЩ Come and have a whiskeyтАЩ. Much as I would have loved to leave the farang, I said thanks, but I need to look after your guest for you. You sure he said, with a knowing look on his face. I think the farang was obviously well known by all!!! Thankfully they left shortly afterwards saying heтАЩd be back for the funeral. ThatтАЩs all I need I thought and told Oot sorry but if he did come IтАЩd be avoiding him.

I went and joined the family one whiskey followed another. Another bottle arrived. Eventually I went over, said good night to Oot and lay down and slept.

Who was the friend that passed away with Oot? What kind of accident was it?

[globalwanderer]

It was the nine year old brother of his friend. They were fishing from a boat and it capsized. It seems that Oot died trying to save his young friend. Fishing was one of the loves of his life

[globalwanderer]

Woke at 8 and fell into my ritual. Folded the blanket and pillow and put it on the pile in the corner of the Sala and walked back to the house for a shower. As always someone offered to take me on the motor bike. No I said I like walking! I walk everywhere! Sat and ate breakfast of sausage and egg and updated my diary notes whilst I waited for the phone batteries to recharge.

His sister invited me to go marketing again and we bought the items required for the cremation ceremony. Lunch of Mango Salad on our return then I wandered into town to buy a couple more shirts and take some more photos. My daily routine was keeping me going.

Mid afternoon I was handed a pair of shorts and it was demanded that I handed my jeans over for washing. I realised that other than to shower I had not been out of them in 5 days. IтАЩd forgotten to throw clean trousers in the bag as I had hurriedly left. So I went and changed and returned to the temple in shorts and t-shirt.

His friendтАЩs family arrived about 6 from Sakon Nakhon, having been back to Pattaya to collect all his things and bring them to the family. The boxes were placed by the coffin. After dinner and the monks we sat drinking and chatting. His brother told me that the monks would return in the morning. What time we need wake up I asked. 6 was the answer. I decided an early night would be required as did everyone else and about 10 we all went over and lay down, leaving the gamblers to their cards and bingo I kept wandering outside to talk to Oot and to ask him to guide me tomorrow. I had no idea what was going to happen except that it would end in flames!

[globalwanderer]

I woke at 5, an hour before the time IтАЩd set the alarm. As every morning I went over and knelt before the coffin and lit some incense. Went and showered. My dirty clothes had been returned washed so I changed and went back.

Three of his young cousins appeared in monks robes and shaved heads and eyebrows, making merit for Oot. OotтАЩs father took Oot his final breakfast. Knocking loudly on the coffin as if to wake him. His sister said, come we go talk Oot about his breakfast. We went to the head of the coffin, tapped it lightly and then both quietly talked to Oot for a few minutes, then went and lit more incense.

About six a pick up arrived. If the question is тАШHow Do you fit 15 boys in a pick upтАЩ, then the answer is I donтАЩt know, but thatтАЩs how many of his friends from the bar appeared out of it. Looking at my watch I realised that they had all jumped aboard when the bars had closed and driven straight here. They waiтАЩd to his family and then me and then went and paid their respects to Oot. They then mucked in and helped with preparations. Some I recognised from the bars or from when I had gone to watch Oot play football, but others I could not place, after all IтАЩd probably not seen them clothed before!

I still was unsure of what would happen or what was expected of me, but I was sure that Oot would guide me through the day.

My camera was brought over and I was told to show a Thai woman how to use it as I would not be тАШavailableтАЩ to be photographer.

The boys come over and we line up for various group photos in front of the coffin.

A table was set up in the middle of the Sala. 7 large containers were placed on it. Chairs were set out as the previous night. Then a big bowl of rice was brought out and everyone queued up. I followed the cue and lined up. We were each given a plate of rice which we then went over and distributed between the 7 containers. I was then told to go and sit on one of the chairs near the front.

The monks came out. This time about 20 rather than the 8 that there had been every night and sat , the three young cousins were with them.. The sat in groups of 3 or 4. The urns of rice were taken up and placed in front of them and food was brought out from the kitchen. OotтАЩs friends go up to the monks. OotтАЩs sister beckons me, we go up to one group. Keeping one eye on what the boys are doing, we pass the rice and water to the monks. OotтАЩs sister places a plate of food onto the corner of the monks robe. IтАЩd seen enough to know what to do, and with OotтАЩs help I donтАЩt think I embarrassed him. We then returned to the chairs.

When the monks had finished eating the food was taken and placed on the floor. The monks took up their position in a line, his father went up and knelt in front of the Buddha and the chanting began. I was handed a pile of envelopes each containing money. Oot was not letting me off easily. At the appropriate time I was led up by his sister to kneel by his father. IтАЩd seen the ceremony 3 times know so knew roughly what to do. When nudged I went forward on my knees and presented the envelopes to the leading monk and waiтАЩd. The envelopes were passed. When all the monks, including the novices had an envelope we waiтАЩd again on went backwards on my knees expecting to return to my seat. But no, a hand took my arm and stopped me.

I was to remain there on my knees for the rest of the ceremony. The concentration I was doing on not doing anything wrong up there in front of his family and friends, wai-ing at the right time overcame the pain I felt in my legs.

The bowls and glasses of water were brought out and OotтАЩs sister and I poured the water out. Then it was over. We crawled backwards and stood again as the monks got up and left. Everyone then went and sat in a big circle on the floor round the food and ate.

The boys left in the pick тАУ up, I assumed to the house to shower and rest. I went and talked to Oot. Told him if I was expected to do anything else to warn me know. I went and walked to the house, to find it empty, went and showered and put on a clean black shirt. I wandered back. Preparations were starting. The door to the container had been opened, presumably to bring him to room temperature. His worldly goods were placed at the head of the coffin and attached by a thread to the Buddha.

A band appeared and started playing next to the coffin

I tried to keep myself busy. Just after 11 his sister said, come we house. We get in the pick up and drive to her house which is up on a hill out of town. It was where I had stayed the first trip to his home. As we approached I realised where his friends had disappeared to. We went into the house to find the boys, some sleeping, some chatting, and some changing. I recognised a few more from their now visible tattoos. I joked to Oot that whilst I knew he wanted to look after me, it was a bit soon to arrange a house of boys for me! Some were sitting drinking Thai Vodka. I was handed a glass, I took it and downed it in one. A mistake as this simply meant it was refilled and passed back to me.

They roused themselves, some changed to more appropriate, splashed water on their faces and we headed back to the temple.

We all went over and sat at the back.

[globalwanderer]

His sister came over with six pieces of cloth. These were handed to six of his friends and they were asked to sit on the chairs in the Sala. They were to carry his coffin the short distance to the crematorium when the time was right. I looked at my watch, 1230, half an hour to go. IтАЩll go to the toilet at 1250 I thoughtтАж donтАЩt know how long this could go on.

We were all given pieces of red thread. I tied mine round my cotton band. Strips of red cloth were tied round the handlebars of all the motor cycles present.

1245 the monks arrive and it begins, typical Thai reliability I thought.

It starts much as before, but then a collection bowl is passed round, I scramble and luckily have some coins. The paper flowers are handed to everyone.

Merit is made presenting the monks with gifts and of course the usual envelopes.

Then lengths of orange cloth were passed out to selected guests, Including 1 to me, one for each of the monks. At the due signal we went up, knelt before one of the monks and presented the cloth. This time I had no one to accompany me. I watched the others and did my best to follow asking Oot to help me. I returned to my chair at the back.

Suddenly the chanting stopped, everyone got up and moved back. I am at a loss as to what to do next. Thankfully his brother beckons me over so I go stand with him.

The coffin is brought out, 2 monks and the 3 novices lead the way, holding the white thread still stretching back to OotтАЩs hand inside the coffin. The are followed by his friend carrying a photo of Oot and relatives carrying monks robes for him.

As he passed everyone fell in behind the coffin. Some put their hand on the coffin to help him on his journey. We walked slowly the short distance to the Crematorium and then walked three times round the building anti clockwise. 1 Baht Coins wrapped in gold paper were thrown from the Crematorium by a member of the family after he passed and the kids scrambled to pick them up.

Firecrackers were set off as he passed. The saxophone player from the band played music.

I was concentrating on holding my composure. Glad to be near the rear. Not thinking about what was coming next. Trying to do the right thing for Oot.

The procession stopped and the monks went up the steps of the Crematorium. The Pall Bearers started to carry Oot up but he needed a push from some friends to make the final entry. Un-noticed his brother had come over and was standing next to me.

Everyone then went up the steps. There was only a small platform so it took time for everyone to go up, pay their last respects to Oot and the family and then walk down the side steps.

I can cope with this as I got nearer the coffin I thought. I placed my paper flower on the tray in front of the coffin, waiтАЩd turned , waiтАЩd to the family and made to go down. His sister took my arm and said тАШYou Stand HereтАЩ

[globalwanderer]

this has been the hardest part to write. But the process is helping me move on. I'll bring the diary up to date tomorrow whilst i load the photos to my site.


And so it was that I found myself, returning the waiтАЩs of the guests as they pass by. I said to Oot тАУ тАШyou did this on purpose, making me think I could stay in the background. I think he laughed.тАЩ Very mixed emotions. Do I want to be here? It must be what Oot wants I thought. Soon there were only about 12 of us left standing with the coffin. His sister and aunt, 2 or 3 of the boys, me and others somehow selected by fate and now rooted to the spot. Everyone was struggling to keep it together for Oot. Beyond the ring of people all I can see are the hills. The other guests are somewhere below. I canтАЩt tell what they are doing.

Then the coffin is opened, we all move forward and watch as the sheet is removed from his head, chest and hands. I put my arm round his sister and every one broke down. The tears flowed as the final preparations were made. His monks robes were put into the coffin. The paper flowers were put round the coffin and in the coffin. Accelerant was poured over him from two old whiskey bottles. A coconut is cracked open over his head than the milk poured on his face and chest.

No one wants to move but we move back and kneel. I was oblivious to anything outside the crematorium. I was passed a beaker of water as was one of the boys. Thought, oh we must be going to pour water again. I saw the boy hold it between his hands as we waiтАЩd, so I did the same. A semi circle of people somehow drawn to be there with Oot. The monks started chanting as Oot was pushed into the furnace. Farewell I said, but you arenтАЩt getting away that easyтАж IтАЩll still talk to you.

During the chanting another glass of water and bowl was brought forward. Holding each other, his sister and I poured the water again. I still had my beaker of water.

The chanting stops, we stand up. The monks leave. I survived the ordeal I thought. But I still have the glass of water. Maybe it was only in case his sister or I needed it.

No one moves to go. ItтАЩs not over I realise as the door of the furnace is over and everyone moves forward. Here I am in the middle of Thailand looking at a burning body is all I can think. Then his friend from the bar throws the water over Oot. I follow suit and the others take the beaker from us, refill it and do the same.

I notice that OotтАЩs right hand is raised as if waving goodbye. No one wanted to leave, but eventually the door was closed and we turned and walked down the steps. Suddenly it felt as if Oot was on his wandererings. Still there, but at peace.

Most people had left and the Sala was almost cleared. His friend came over and we chatted and promised to meet with the pictures. His friends from the bar came and said good bye. I walked back to the house with his brother. The monks will come this evening he said.

[Brad the Impala]

Very moving, thoughtful and vivid.

Thank you and sorry.

Thank you for sharing this farewell to Oot with us. Again my deepest sympathies.

[Bob]

Fascinating and sad. Thanks for sharing.

My deepest regard for you and Oot.

Thank your for sharing your story. I never knew Oot, but because of your very moving story my eyes are filled with tears and I wish you both the best in your journeys.

[globalwanderer]

Back at the house they started preparing for the monkтАЩs arrival. We listened to music. Eventually I decided to walk to the shop to be some credit for my phone. Half way there, a voice calls me. I look over and his father is sitting in a shop with a friend drinking some beer. They beckon me over and offer me a beer. I accept. We sit drinking and talking with my smattering of Thai and their smattering of English. Then about 10 minutes later his fatherтАЩs phone rings.тАЩ We have to go back house, the monks are comingтАЩ He says. I realise that had I not seen his father and had the beer, I would have missed the blessing of the house. I knew that Oot had arranged for me to be stopped and brought back.

A length of white card has been tied right round the house. We all kneel on the floor when the monks get there. The chanting begins. We did the water pouring again. This time I am on my own, but have done it enough to know the protocol. The lead monk then sprinkles us all with water before walking trough the house doing the same. Rice is thrown. We are down to family for this occasion.

After the monks left. Food was brought. I realised that I had not eaten since breakfast.

Only one more time his brother tells me. What time I say. 7. Ok IтАЩll set the alarm for 6.

His young sister finds the DVD I made of his 20th Birthday. By the end we were all laughing at the fun and games on that night just 2 months ago. It was the tonic we all needed, and reminded me that I could still see him and here his voice simply by putting.

We sat drinking whisky, eating and relaxing. We had done or best to send Oot off in the best way possible.

[globalwanderer]

I went to chat with Oot's brother last night. He told me, his friend in the UK had seen the news about Oot in my posting and had called him last night. That one kind deed makes the hard work of reliving the detail as I type worthwhile.

[globalwanderer]

Woke at 5.45 and the alarm goes at 6. Walk down and shower. One more temple trip this morning and at some point a trip back to Pattaya. 7.30 we get in the pick up and go to the temple. His sister offers me the front seat. No I said, let your mother sit there, I am not a guest, I am family and I jumped into the back of the pick up. Only the immediate family attend this morning. There are 7 of us. We make merit for Oot, wai and bow to the ground. We are kneeling in front of the monk. His mother and father do the water pouring, the rest of us linked by touch to them both. And itтАЩs over. Back to the house again.

His brother asks if he can come back with me in the taxi. Of course I say. Phone numbers are exchanged. We eat. I have a final walk into town.

I return. They are sorting OotтАЩs belongings. I recognise so much as things IтАЩd bought him. Some of the things IтАЩd just bought him still had the tags on, he had not had a chance to wear them. I was asked to take what I wanted for memory. Of course I wanted something, but it was difficult. His sister handed me some of his underwear. The ice was broken. I took his Liverpool Football shorts that he had worn the last time IтАЩd watch him play football, the trunks heтАЩd worn at the waterpark. Then they found his watch and a bracelet. We want you to have these she says. I take one of his baseball caps.

Then his youngest sister finds his badge. Do you know what this is, they joke. Yes I say, do you. They nod and we all smile. I hold his badge and think of him. If I had been asked what one of his things I wanted to remember him by it would have been his number 22.

I promised to visit in a couple of weeks to take the photos. They said visit anytime. Come for the 100 days and his birthday. We order a taxi and set off back for Pattaya and arrived at 2130.

Now the next step, one I had been dreading, going back to the apartment. WeтАЩd gone and chosen everything together when I bought and redecorated in October and his friends had done all the work. I knew his new year gifts would still be lying there, wrapped, on the table.

I opened the door and walked in, put my bag down. Not as bad as I expected. I took a warm beer and unpacked the things IтАЩd brought back. Put them together with a photo and the things heтАЩd bought me next to my Buddha.

OK I thought. Time to face the next hurdle. A trip to the bar. I took his badge, attached it to my shirt and jumped on a motor bike taxi. I walked in the bar, 22 was paying one last visit. Before I even got a chance to sit down 3 of our friends came over and hugged me. We then sat, drank and talked about Oot for an hour. The I said I am off to visit his other friends, IтАЩll be back.

Went back an hour later. I sat down, ordered a bottle of 100 Pipers for the boys and our chats resumed. I asked the three lads if theyтАЩd come with me the following night and weтАЩd do what Oot enjoyed. They agreed. I told the mamasan IтАЩd be there between 8 and 9 to off them. The whisky was finished, the bar had closed. I went home, happy in the thought that I still had many of our friends close when I needed to talk.

[Smiles]

Best regards to you in the future, and thanks for taking the time and effort to start, and then keep on adding to, this very sad thread.

You do know of course that it's not a 'final' journey. Oot will be back ... if not already.

As my guy says as an ending to all his letters ~ "take a good care" ... & cheers

[PeterUK]

The very best kind of writing, globalwanderer - simple, heartfelt and true. I hope it helps you in writing it as it helps us in reading it. It shows up most of what appears here for the trivia that it is.

[globalwanderer]

Best regards to you in the future, and thanks for taking the time and effort to start, and then keep on adding to, this very sad thread.

You do know of course that it's not a 'final' journey. Oot will be back ... if not already.



Yes i know. We have merely dealt with the physical. There will be rebirth. I went to the temple this morning with two of his friends to make merit for him, and am planning on going to travel to the 100 day ceremony with his brother.

[Aunty]

Thanks for your very moving posts, globalwanderer, and once again my condolences at your loss.

[globalwanderer]

Woke early and started working on typing up the diary and loaded the photos to the computer and trying to decide which ones to print for the family. In the end gave up as I could not choose so I loaded them all onto a thumb drive and walked to Photohut. I handed it to them they loaded it and asked if I wanted them all. I said yes, 3 copies of each. They did the necessary. OK they said. No, now I want some 8x12тАЩs. I set to going through selecting those to be enlarged. His friends in the bar had asked for some photos so I then went back and got more copies of some of the shots, particularly those with his friends in. In the end over 6,000bht. I said how long. Come back at 3 they said. Went and ate then wandered back about 3.45. The machine was still printing and the girls were standing putting the photos into wallets. After 15 minutes they were still printing so I left my shopping with them and went for a coffee. I was feeling hungry but I was meeting a friend from England at CherryтАЩs for dinner at 7 and did not want to spoil my appetite. Went back, the final photos were just printing and 15 minutes later I left with 4 bags of photos.

Went through and sorted the enlargements, the ones I wanted, the ones for his family and the ones for his friends. I put 1 set of photos and the duplicates and enlargements in a bag. Just before 7 I jump on a motorbike and go to CherryтАЩs. My friend arrives and we talk. The first time IтАЩd had a chance to talk at length to anyone in English. I showed him the photos and explained who was who.

Looked at my watch, it was quarter to nine. Sorry I said I have to dash, IтАЩve got three boys to тАШoffтАЩ. He laughingly saidтАж God, thatтАЩs quickтАж. And greedy. I explained the plans and wished us an enjoyable night.

I go to the bar and order a drink. For myself and the three lads and send them to get dressed. I get the photos out and they start looking through. I tell them to take any of the sets that they want or the enlargements. Some had asked for photos of Oot and IтАЩd printed a number of these in addition to the funeral shots. We finished our drinks and left. WeтАЩre going to play bingo they said so we took a baht taxi to Soi Buakhao. I put about 800bht down and we played until the money was gone. The first few boards we did not win, even though we had 16 boards between us. They said - have a word with Oot тАУ he should be helping us. I did, one of the lads won the next board. They selected beer as the prize which was opened, a small amount poured out for Oot and then we continued playing. We won a further 6 boards before the money was exhausted. We thanked Oot and told him to join us in Hollywood. We got to Hollywood and sat drinking Red Label. Then at a quarter to one they said we go back bar, there new year party for staff. And so we do and we sit there drinking beer and whisky until I donтАЩt know what time.

As we left the I gave them some money тАШfrom OotтАЩ and bar they organised me a taxi. Then they said do you want the three of us come sleep with you? If you no want to be alone in case ghosts come we come stay with you, as friends of Oot. I said no, IтАЩm fine, IтАЩll see you later. ItтАЩs at times like these you see who your true friends are, and those who are paper friends or only want what they can get. I may have lost Oot but I have gained a family and a host of friends who will look after me.

[globalwanderer]

I have decided that this will be the last days diary I will post on the forum. Those who wish to follow can do so on my website where I'll post. I'll let you know when the pictures are uploaded and I start posting them.

Thanks again for all the thoughts and wishes. If any of you see me round town, feel free to come over and chat. And if any of you lose someone in the future and need someone to talk to, just contact me.

Part 13 тАУ January 10th тАУ The Temple

Woke about 8 and worked on the diary. The lads call about 10, and arrive about thirty minutes later and we head off to the temple on Sukhumvit opposite the hospital. We stop at the shop outside to buy a monks bucket and some flowers and proceed inside. We go inside an make merit. They touch my arms as I pour water for Oot. I find these times soothing now that I know what to do! We then go across the compound and go through a series of rituals. Lighting candles, burning incense, pouring oil into the lamps, applying gold leaf to the Buddha statues and taking our fortune. You place a coin in the slot and when the flashing lights stop you go and collect that numbers paper. The lights stopped at 26 and I went to get the paper.

тАШYou fate obstruct, fortune is clearly unreachable. Your life, your luck is always a misery. YouтАЩre just like an oarsman paddling all through the day for daily earnings. YouтАЩre destined for a lonely life, hopeless to find any patron. DonтАЩt ever think of having a spouse if you donтАЩt want to get hurt. Your lost treasure would never be found. Make merit to make you happier. At least no rogue ever thinks of harming you.тАЩ.

I buy the lads amulets and then we are given a card with Thai verses. We go over to the main building and walk three times clockwise under it. I am told to dispel any ghosts that may be haunting me. Then we go and feed the fish.

I find these times calming.

We then went to the food court at Carrefour, somewhere that Oot and I had eaten often and had lunch.

I knew that both Oot and I were Saturdays children and had done some research as to the appropriate Buddha image. I spent the afternoon buying the image, a table etc and setting up the Buddha in my room. Now when I need to contemplate or talk with Oot I have somewhere to go, kneel, burn incense and think.

I continue with the diary, and with uploading photos and eventually get it up to date to last night. I sort out a set of photos for his brother, and as his football team was Liverpool the same as Oot, decided to take him the Jacket IтАЩd bought Oot as a surprise New Year present but had never had the chance to give him.

About 9 I walked into town. Had a beer where his brother works and handed over the photos and jacket, then went for a drink with his friends before heading home to sleep.

Globalwander:

My condolences to you and to Oot's family. I knew Oot only briefly at Crystal Boys when the bar first opened. However, I have known one of his brothers for many years. I received a visit on January 1 at my hotel from an older brother stating that he was waiting for family to come from Trat for the journey north to retrieve his young brother's body. We had Bangkok Air round-trip tickets from Bangkok to Chiangmai for January 3 through 6. Of course, Oot's brother was in a state of shock as he had just gone to work to be told by his boss that a telephone call had come from his sister in Trat - and our annual get-a-way from Pattaya was altogether irrelevant in light of the fishing accident. Oot's brother had already reserved 6 days off in early January and he was able to go home to Trat for a full week.

Not meaning to be derisive or uncaring at this time. but Oot's family has seen the loss of numerous members due to complications from acute alcholism as well as blindness from excessive long-term consumption of Lao-Khao. One of my hopes is that the remaining members of this lovely family find a way to stem their abuse of whiskey.

Again, my condolences as Oot was a wonderful young man full of life, love and energy.

[bing]

Hi Global, I too have been reading your saga. I'm sure many more have had their eyes glued to their monitors waiting for your next chapter. I salute your efforts to keep all of us updated. I have friends for many years in Thailand and yet much more superficial than your in-depth relationship. I hope all the young men in Sunee and Boys town find someone as loving and concerned as you. I have a comment on your trip to the temple. I'm not Buddhist, but do enjoy (if that is the proper term) being sort of dragged to the store close by the temple and getting a bucket of flowers and incense. I do recall the first time I had to sit on the floor and scoot up to the monk and be sprinkled with water. By the time I put some gold leaf on Buddha, clapping to get His attention, and holding the flowers and incense, I had the thought passing my mind that although I am not really into Buddhist religious practices, I am feeling good about all this. Going to the temple is not as stressful as being dragged into some Churches in the west. I don't know many places in society where a young guy could bring in a older friend and be welcomed and even sprinkled by a monk after reading the slip of paper given to him by my Thai friend. Again, Global best wishes and I'm sure you will find consolation in the knowledge you have done all you could to bid farewell to your good friend.

[adman5000]

Thank you for sharing with us. We all learn from it. Besh wishes in the future.

[globalwanderer]

Well I have finally got round to posting photos for those of you who are interested. It's a slow job and is going to take three or four days for me to get things how I want.

Thanks again for your thoughts and best wishes.

[globalwanderer]

I've finished uploading and posting the funeral pictures and they are now online together with a gallery of Oot's pictures.

Had a drink with his sister on the terrace at Cafe Royale. Got many funny looks from the lads who knew me who passed... My reputation ruined, seen having a drink with a lady!

The daily diary posts will continue and I'll update the trips with Oot section. Off up to see the family in a couple of weeks

[globalwanderer]

For those following the diary and updates the site name is now www.ootandjame.com (http://www.ootandjame.com). amend any bookmarks. (there must be some of you as it's at nearly 5000 hits which means 3500 since I started posting Oot's story The existing link will work for a couple of weeks until I redirect it.

www.ootandjame.com.amend (http://www.ootandjame.com.amend) is not a valid format for a URL. I tried www.ootandjame.com/amend (http://www.ootandjame.com/amend) and got a message saying no such address. Is there some page other than www.ootandjame.com (http://www.ootandjame.com) that you want us to start at?

[globalwanderer]

sorry, I missed the space. it should be www.ootandjame.com (http://www.ootandjame.com) . To be fair I have also been having some problems with teh DNS direct as well which is why i am running both domains in parallel until i have ironed everything out.