Young Man's Burden (3) - A Bar Boy Perspective

Interesting commentary.

I did not ask him whether he has gone to bed with any men. 'Some customers ask to sleep with me, but they have to pay extra for sex. I say they can sleep with me, but I must be fully clothed,' he said.

He claims he has bought himself a small self-protection device which he can use to apply an electric shock to people if they get too eager.

'It's common, for bar boys to have such things,' he said.

Highlights the need to discuss with the boy your preferences in advance of the off.


bkkmindscape.blogspot.com/2008/01/young-mans-burden-3.html (http://bkkmindscape.blogspot.com/2008/01/young-mans-burden-3.html)

[fedssocr]

I believe the boy in question works in a bar that caters to women mainly and some men, which explains the part about charging the men more.

[lonelywombat]

I believe the boy in question works in a bar that caters to women mainly and some men, which explains the part about charging the men more.

That sounds like Cartier to me

[Dodger]

Joe...

Frankly, every line in the guys story sounds like total bullshit to me. How many bar boys have you guys ever interacted with who insist on sleeping with you with their clothes on? How many bar boys charge extra for sex, when the service itself is totally about sex? How many of you guys have ever had a bar boy slip into your bed with a stun gun at his side?

This guy is probably suffering from depression because he's getting too old for the business he's in.

Oh well...there's my two cents worth anyway.

[Wesley]

Joe...

Frankly, every line in the guys story sounds like total bullshit to me. How many bar boys have you guys ever interacted with who insist on sleeping with you with their clothes on? How many bar boys charge extra for sex, when the service itself is totally about sex? How many of you guys have ever had a bar boy slip into your bed with a stun gun at his side?

This guy is probably suffering from depression because he's getting too old for the business he's in.

Oh well...there's my two cents worth anyway.

Amen, the story sounds like complete "bull*&^%" to me. I have never been to a boy bar, that is clearly a boy bar and had this to happen. if it did I wold send him home with no tip and complain to the mamasan the next night.

Wesley

Agree that the comments sound like BS, but also plausible that someone in the scene not wanting to be there might make such statements.

I have never encountered such a situation and would make sure before I left the bar that my guest had no such special requirements.

I have yet to come across any boy that was packing a taser or any other weapon. A definite red flag for sure.

Ditto, ditto....pure Bull Shit. Never had an experience that was anything like this. Any boy that behaved like this would be tossed out the door by most customers and most likely fired by the bar when reports of his behavior got back to them.

[thaiworthy-old]

I will believe many things, but not this time. He seemed rather arrogant actually.

[piston10]

I can understand some of these reactions, but in the context of SF's blog post, and some previous ones of his on the same boy, I find them a bit off-beam. It's absolutely clear from a daily reading of this blog that SF is a kind, sympathetic man with some psychological understanding (and some wit, to boot!), and that this boy is in a deep depression. The boy's late-night conversations with SF are the nearest thing a penniless Thai boy is going to get to the therapy he almost certainly needs. And I think SF knows what he's doing. Agreed, the sleeping with customers fully clothed and the electric shock device are fantasy - nothing more than what, in self-protection, the boy would like to do. But this so-called 'bullshit' is exactly the give-away that someone professionally trained would use as a jumping-off point for trying to help him. In many ways it tells you a lot of what you need to know in order to get started. The boy keeps breaking into tears, is edgy, difficult to deal with; and is no doubt in a private hell of his own. That much is obviously clear to SF. He does not challenge the truth of these fantasy comments, but listens, and wryly shares with his readers that he has his doubts about them. Whatever, the story of this boy should not be read as a challenge to us to say what we would do if we came across a boy who refused to take his clothes off or electrocuted us in bed with a stun gun. We would all react differently (in self-protection, perhaps?), but some of these reactions might not be particularly helpful to the boy.

[Aunty]

He's pulling our tit. And after reading such drivel it's evident someone thinks we have a very big tit to pull too!

[Brad the Impala]

I can understand some of these reactions, but in the context of SF's blog post, and some previous ones of his on the same boy, I find them a bit off-beam. It's absolutely clear from a daily reading of this blog that SF is a kind, sympathetic man with some psychological understanding (and some wit, to boot!), and that this boy is in a deep depression. The boy's late-night conversations with SF are the nearest thing a penniless Thai boy is going to get to the therapy he almost certainly needs. And I think SF knows what he's doing. Agreed, the sleeping with customers fully clothed and the electric shock device are fantasy - nothing more than what, in self-protection, the boy would like to do. But this so-called 'bullshit' is exactly the give-away that someone professionally trained would use as a jumping-off point for trying to help him. In many ways it tells you a lot of what you need to know in order to get started. The boy keeps breaking into tears, is edgy, difficult to deal with; and is no doubt in a private hell of his own. That much is obviously clear to SF. He does not challenge the truth of these fantasy comments, but listens, and wryly shares with his readers that he has his doubts about them. Whatever, the story of this boy should not be read as a challenge to us to say what we would do if we came across a boy who refused to take his clothes off or electrocuted us in bed with a stun gun. We would all react differently (in self-protection, perhaps?), but some of these reactions might not be particularly helpful to the boy.

Thanks for these thoughtful comments.

[allieb]

What a pile of fucking shit. Any boy who behaved like that with me would be out the door and not even the taxi fare home. I think the whole story is a piss take. Has anyone ever encountered a bar boy like that in Thailand ? I don't think so, It's a buyers market. If I had wasted money on drinks on someone like that in his bar beforehand I would probably go back and make a scene

piston10 wrote:
some of these reactions might not be particularly helpful to the boy.

On the contrary if he is for real he needs to wake up and find out what reaction he will get to this behavior

[Brad the Impala]

What a pile of fucking shit. Any boy who behaved like that with me would be out the door and not even the taxi fare home. I think the whole story is a piss take. Has anyone ever encountered a bar boy like that in Thailand ? I don't think so, It's a buyers market. If I had wasted money on drinks on someone like that in his bar beforehand I would probably go back and make a scene

piston10 wrote:
some of these reactions might not be particularly helpful to the boy.

On the contrary if he is for real he needs to wake up and find out what reaction he will get to this behavior

I can see that Piston's comments have gone straight over some people's heads. This kind of reaction must be a discouragement to thoughtful posting. Perhaps that explains why so many of the thoughtful posters move on.

[Lunchtime O'Booze]

"He claims he has bought himself a small self-protection device which he can use to apply an electric shock to people if they get too eager. "

where does he work ?..this is just the sort of thing I need ( with 2 extra strength kumagra) to get me up and going..

[allieb]

What a pile of fucking shit. Any boy who behaved like that with me would be out the door and not even the taxi fare home. I think the whole story is a piss take. Has anyone ever encountered a bar boy like that in Thailand ? I don't think so, It's a buyers market. If I had wasted money on drinks on someone like that in his bar beforehand I would probably go back and make a scene

piston10 wrote:
some of these reactions might not be particularly helpful to the boy.

On the contrary if he is for real he needs to wake up and find out what reaction he will get to this behavior

I can see that Piston's comments have gone straight over some people's heads. This kind of reaction must be a discouragement to thoughtful posting. Perhaps that explains why so many of the thoughtful posters move on.

If you think that this board should be full of thoughtful posters it's time for you to move on. If we were all the same we would all chase the same boy, eat the same food ect. It's the hotch pot of different types of posters that make life interesting on this board

[Aunty]

"He claims he has bought himself a small self-protection device which he can use to apply an electric shock to people if they get too eager. "

where does he work ?..this is just the sort of thing I need ( with 2 extra strength kumagra) to get me up and going..

And it can double as a pacemaker! :cheers: Marvellous!

[Aunty]

I can see that Piston's comments have gone straight over some people's heads. This kind of reaction must be a discouragement to thoughtful posting. Perhaps that explains why so many of the thoughtful posters move on.

Brad, I have some some international business contacts based in Lagos, Nigeria. I know of some investment schemes there that would be just perfect for you. You could make a lot of money, Brad. Serious money, but you must keep it strictly to yourself at this time to maximise the profit. Would you care to contact me via PM? Thanks babe.

[dave_tf-old]

If you think that this board should be full of thoughtful posters it's time for you to move on. If we were all the same we would all chase the same boy, eat the same food ect. It's the hotch pot of different types of posters that make life interesting on this board

We ALL know that it's the Thai who are all the same.

Some people (not saying any of this hotch pot fits the bill) who might say "I've never really known a bar boy who..." might just as well stop with "I've never really known a bar boy."

[PeterUK]

Brad, I have some some international business contacts based in Lagos, Nigeria. I know of some investment schemes there that would be just perfect for you. You could make a lot of money, Brad. Serious money, but you must keep it strictly to yourself at this time to maximise the profit. Would you care to contact me via PM? Thanks babe.

I can see no indication in the extract that the boy is inventing sob stories for monetary gain. He seems genuinely disturbed to me. I don't know what a reading of the whole story reveals, but as things stand I see no reason to jump to conclusions. Just the kind of lazy stereotyping, Aunty, that you were accusing others of only recently.

[Aunty]

Brad, I have some some international business contacts based in Lagos, Nigeria. I know of some investment schemes there that would be just perfect for you. You could make a lot of money, Brad. Serious money, but you must keep it strictly to yourself at this time to maximise the profit. Would you care to contact me via PM? Thanks babe.

I can see no indication in the extract that the boy is inventing sob stories for monetary gain. He seems genuinely disturbed to me. I don't know what a reading of the whole story reveals, but as things stand I see no reason to jump to conclusions. Just the kind of lazy stereotyping, Aunty, that you were accusing others of only recently.

I never said he was.

When I left school many many years ago, my first job (before I went to university) was with the equivalent of your DHSS. Based on my experience of working there, it appears I know a thing or two more about sob stories than you and some of the other naive posters here!

[naklua]

I believe the boy in question works in a bar that caters to women mainly and some men, which explains the part about charging the men more.

That sounds like Cartier to me

If that should be a reference to Cartier Boys in Pattaya, it sounds rather strange to me. During my last two holidays in 2007 I only had very good experiences with the guys working there. I offed about 10 different Cartier-guys (some of them more than once) and each of them was well above average regarding sexual performance, personality and looks. The issue in question here - money - was never a problem with these guys, as they did not demand more than boys from other bars and I even got the impression that they were comparatively modest (they never specified how much the wanted to charge me and never made a funny face when I handed them the money after work was done - this is in contrast to some other boys during the last years, who were (very) sometimes not satisfied with the amount offered; interestingly this dissatisfaction did negatively correlate with their enthusiasm in bed...). Furthermore some of them were genuinely gay (of course one can never be 100% sure about this, as even some people themselves are unsure about their sexuality...) and therefore it would make more sense for them if they charged the women more (just to prevent any missunderstanding: the guys in question were not ladyboys).

[piston10]

The author of the blog Bkkmindscape, from which the OP took the original references to the boy Kew, has commented on this thread in his blog - an interesting filling out of the story that anyone interested should read. However, he is puzzled by my reference to SF, as well he might be! Clearly I confused him with the author of gayboythailand. My defence would be that I read both blogs and there are some similarities in the situations of the two bloggers and the way they relate to their Thai neighbours. However, this cannot be an excuse for my carelessness. I apologise to members for the mistake, and especially to the two authors. As I had re-read the posts on Kew just before posting, I know that I had BKKDreamer firmly in mind when I wrote, even though I typed 'SF'; so I don't want to change anything I said about him.

I find it interesting that BKKDreamer is totally realistic and down-to-earth about Kew's faults and motives, but still maintains his sympathy for the boy - 'his sad life in Pattaya'. A very humane ambiguity of feeling.

I find it interesting that BKKDreamer is totally realistic and down-to-earth about Kew's faults and motives, but still maintains his sympathy for the boy - 'his sad life in Pattaya'. A very humane ambiguity of feeling.

It seems the only way to me. Isn't this a Buddhist concept? To be able to see opposing points and and accept them all as being real?

The guy could have some choice about who he went with. If he doesn't like doing it he should stop doing it. Everyone, everywhere has a sob story, all of them I'm sure quite genuine. However dwelling on negatives and continuing to assist them to occur is hardly intelligent, or fulfilling.

I don't believe there is any need for people to sell themselves if they don't want to, there are plenty of other jobs in Thailand if one cares to look and in my experience Thais are incredibly inventive in their quest for baht and they know how to make it last.

[allieb]

I don't believe there is any need for people to sell themselves if they don't want to, there are plenty of other jobs in Thailand if one cares to look

No jobs that pay an average of 1,000 Baht an hour though (average short time rate) And I hope there are no smart asses out there that say "oh but sometimes bar boys don't get customers for a few days" Truth is that 7 or 8 customers in a month, (7 or 8 hours work) will pay what they would have to work 180 hours for in a respectable job.

[Brad the Impala]

I don't believe there is any need for people to sell themselves if they don't want to, there are plenty of other jobs in Thailand if one cares to look

No jobs that pay an average of 1,000 Baht an hour though (average short time rate) And I hope there are no smart asses out there that say "oh but sometimes bar boys don't get customers for a few days" Truth is that 7 or 8 customers in a month, (7 or 8 hours work) will pay what they would have to work 180 hours for in a respectable job.

Just for balance, for how many hours would a go go boy have to be at his place of work being ogled and fondled? Say 6 hours a night, 30 nights a month, why Mr Watson, that's 180 hours, and doesn't include the hours outside the bar with his customer.

A nice follow-up from the original blog story:

bkkmindscape.blogspot.com/2008/01/kew-barboy-reaction-2.html (http://bkkmindscape.blogspot.com/2008/01/kew-barboy-reaction-2.html)

[Aunty]

My word, that makes Brad and Peter look like dumber turkey gobblers than even I thought they were!

[PeterUK]

My word, that makes Brad and Peter look like dumber turkey gobblers than even I thought they were!

My reading of the follow-up post is that Kew is a boy who tells tall stories as a kind of compulsion. He does it, we are told, 'to boost his standing and elicit sympathy'. He clearly has a low opinion of himself. Any financial gain, as when someone pays for the drinks while listening to him, is a small part of it. He does not fit my idea of a typical, coolly calculating conman (as Aunty at least implied with his Nigerian scam reference) but comes over, as I said before, as a disturbed person.

[Brad the Impala]

My word, that makes Brad and Peter look like dumber turkey gobblers than even I thought they were!

Is turkey gobbling something that you do when the sheep are too fast for you?

[Aunty]

My word, that makes Brad and Peter look like dumber turkey gobblers than even I thought they were!

(as Aunty at least implied with his Nigerian scam reference)

Rubbish!

Anybody with half a brain would realise that I was having a none to subtle dig at Brad's woeful naivety. If he was prepared to swallow this 'boy's' story he'd swallow anything, even a Nigerian scam!

Jeez Louise!

[Brad the Impala]

A series of posts that are a perfect example of the significant difference between reading and comprehending.

[PeterUK]

Rubbish!

Anybody with half a brain would realise that I was having a none to subtle dig at Brad's woeful naivety. If he was prepared to swallow this 'boy's' story he'd swallow anything, even a Nigerian scam!

Jeez Louise!

Very well, Aunty. So if the boy is not 'pulling our tit' for financial gain, as you now deny that you were implying, and he is not psychologically disturbed, as I read it, then what exactly is the explanation for his behaviour? Try to say simply what you mean this time without hiding behind a barrage of insults, which I can assure you are water off a duck's back to me.

[Aunty]

Rubbish!

Anybody with half a brain would realise that I was having a none to subtle dig at Brad's woeful naivety. If he was prepared to swallow this 'boy's' story he'd swallow anything, even a Nigerian scam!

Jeez Louise!

Very well, Aunty. So if the boy is not 'pulling our tit' for financial gain, as you now deny that you were implying, and he is not psychologically disturbed, as I read it, then what exactly is the explanation for his behaviour? Try to say simply what you mean this time without hiding behind a barrage of insults, which I can assure you are water off a duck's back to me.

Christ you're thick and I've had enough of your mind numbing stupidity. Pulling your tit (our, my, there tit), dumb ass, means taking the mickey, pulling your leg, having you on, telling porkies, got it? It has nothing to do with financial gain. Now piss off and go and play with your tonker toys you silly big girl.

My word, that makes Brad and Peter look like dumber turkey gobblers than even I thought they were!

My reading of the follow-up post is that Kew is a boy who tells tall stories as a kind of compulsion. He does it, we are told, 'to boost his standing and elicit sympathy'. He clearly has a low opinion of himself. Any financial gain, as when someone pays for the drinks while listening to him, is a small part of it. He does not fit my idea of a typical, coolly calculating conman (as Aunty at least implied with his Nigerian scam reference) but comes over, as I said before, as a disturbed person.

I think Peter is pretty close. The boy is a "Fable-ist". He's not a con man or disturbed. He just likes to spin Large Yarns out of small truths.
You can find many Farang versions sitting in beach chairs at Jomtien.

[PeterUK]

Christ you're thick and I've had enough of your mind numbing stupidity. Pulling your tit (our, my, there tit), dumb ass, means taking the mickey, pulling your leg, having you on, telling porkies, got it? It has nothing to do with financial gain. Now piss off and go and play with your tonker toys you silly big girl.

My, did you almost spontaneously combust writing that? Try to keep these message boards in perspective, you silly old tart.

"He's not... disturbed" (kenc)

Sorry, kenc, but when someone habitually tells tall stories about himself, to the point that he half-believes them himself much of the time, that represents a level of confusion of reality and fantasy that most psychiatrists and the like would deem disturbed behaviour. Certainly Aunty's view that the boy was just teasing or pulling the leg, which is a fully self-conscious, deliberate act, is way off beam. It displays 'woeful naivety', in fact.

[thaiworthy-old]

I think Peter is pretty close. The boy is a "Fable-ist". He's not a con man or disturbed. He just likes to spin Large Yarns out of small truths.
You can find many Farang versions sitting in beach chairs at Jomtien.

Kenc, I think you are absolutely spot on. A lot of Thai boys are prone to exaggeration. And it may not be unique to Thai boys; we all like to spin yarns about the fish the got away. That's all this is, nothing more, IMHO.

Conversely, I can easily imagine a farang bragging about the boy with the 12" c*ock that he got for 500 baht.

[allieb]

a farang bragging about the boy with the 12" c*ock that he got for 500 baht.

A 12'' cock dosen't exsist in Thailand so everybody would know thats a lie

I knew a boy that came very close to that once.
It was a sight to behold.
It got away!