Santa Claus Is Coming To Town; 27 d├йcembre 2007

[francois]

For sure it's true, P├иre No├лl (Santa Claus) comes to Pattaya just after Christmas. Herein is r├йcent correspondance between he and moi.

Mon cher P├иre No├лl,

I want that you bring me a GI Joe action figure, r├йaliste & authentique, fabrique in America. Aussi give moi a thai-fran├зais dictionnaire, if you please.
What you do the autre 364 days of the year? You are occupied making toys, is it not?

Avec affection,
Petit Fran├зois


Dear Francois,
What kind of parents would name their kid, "Petit Francois"? I bet your gay. I'll fix you up with a Barbie doll and an ENGLISH dictionary.

All toys are made in China!
I have a condo in Pattaya where I escape from those insipid elves and find some real boys. During the day I unwind at the beach, drinking myself silly and leering at brown-skinned Thai boys in skimpy bikinis. At night I enjoy squeezing the asses of Thai boys in the go-go bars to see who is naughty or nice. The naughty ones get cell phones, gold chains and motorbikes. The nice ones get nothing; there's no coal in Thailand.

Listen kid, time for you to grow up and stop playing with dolls and start playing with other boys.

Ho, Ho, Ho,
Santa, aka P├иre No├лl, St. Nicholas, Sinterklas, Hoteisho, etc, etc

PS - Did you know Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of prostitutes?

[Lunchtime O'Booze]

Belgian humour has a style all of it's own.:dontknow:

and English Pedantics also

Nicholas of Myra

Also known as
Klaus; Mikulas; Nicholas of Bari; Nicolaas; Nicolas; Niklas; Santa Claus
Memorial
6 December
Profile
Priest. Abbot. Bishop of Myra, Lycia (modern Turkey). Generous to the poor, and special protector of the innocent and wronged. Many stories grew up around him prior to his becoming Santa Claus. Some examples:
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тАв Upon hearing that a local man had fallen on such hard times that he was planning to sell his daughters into prostitution, Nicholas went by night to the house and threw three bags of gold in through the window, saving the girls from an evil life. These three bags, gold generously given in time of trouble, became the three golden balls that indicate a pawn broker's shop.
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тАв He raised to life three young boys who had been murdered and pickled in a barrel of brine to hide the crime. These stories led to his patronage of children in general, and of barrel-makers besides.
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тАв Induced some thieves to return their plunder. This explains his protection against theft and robbery, and his patronage of them - he's not helping them steal, but to repent and change. In the past, thieves have been known as Saint Nicholas' clerks or Knights of Saint Nicholas
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тАв During a voyage to the Holy Lands, a fierce storm blew up, threatening the ship. He prayed over it, and the storm calmed - hence the patronage of sailors and those like dockworkers who work on the sea.
Died
c.346 at Myra; relics believed to be at Bari, Italy
Canonized
Pre-Congregation
Patronage
against┬аimprisonment; against┬аrobberies; against┬аrobbers; apothecaries; Apulia,┬аItaly; bakers; Bari,┬аItaly; barrel┬аmakers; boatmen; boot┬аblacks; boys; brewers; brides; captives; Cas Concos, Spain; children; coopers; dock┬аworkers; druggists; Duronia,┬аItaly; fishermen; Fossalto,┬аItaly; Greece; Greek┬аCatholic┬аChurch┬аin┬аAmerica; Greek┬аCatholic┬аUnionl grooms; judges; lawsuits┬аlost┬аunjustly; Lecco,┬аItaly; Limerick,┬аIreland; Liptovsk├╜┬аMikul├бs,┬аSlovakia; longshoremen; Lorraine; maidens; mariners; Mazzano┬аRomano,┬аItaly; Mentana,┬аItaly; merchants; Miklav┼╛ na Dravskem polju, Slovenia; murderers; Naples,┬аItaly; newlyweds; old┬аmaids; parish┬аclerks; paupers; pawnbrokers; perfumeries; perfumers; pharmacists; pilgrims; poor┬аpeople; Portsmouth,┬аEngland; prisoners; Russia; sailors; Sassari,┬аItaly; scholars; schoolchildren; shoe┬аshiners; Sicily; Is-Siggiewi,┬аMalta; spinsters; students; thieves; travellers; University┬аof┬аParis; unmarried┬аgirls; watermen
Representation
anchor; bishop calming a storm; bishop holding three bags of gold; bishop holding three balls; bishop with three children; bishop with three children in a tub at his feet; purse; ship; three bags of gold; three balls; three golden balls on a book

http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintn01.htm

I had always thought that he came from Holland? - also well known for prostitutes.