Best opening sentence in a book

[cottmann]

"It has been called sperm, semen, ejaculate, seed, man fluid, baby gravy, jizz, cum, pearl necklace, gentleman's relish, wad, pimp juice, number 3, load, spew, donut glaze, spunk, gizzum, cream, hot man mustard, squirt, goo, spunk, splooge, love juice, man cream, and la leche."
In "Sperm Counts: Overcome by Man's Most Precious Fluid," by Lisa Jean Moore (associate professor of sociology and women's studies, State University of New York College at Purchase).

... it boosting the protein intake then? That was left for the next sentence maybe?

Cleopatera thought if kept her boobs perky.
Ann Miller used it as a beauty treatment (Facial). Best hot and... straight from the source.
Pearl, would whip it up with a little bar sugar (What else.): as a topping for lemon pie or chocolate pudding: schmuck schlag.

[krobbie]

Mariam Keyes - Anybody Out There? - Penguin

Mum flung open the sitting-room door and announced, "Morning, Anna, time for your tablets".



Miram Keyes writes hilarious stuff. My absolute favourite of hers is Rachels Holiday. It's pant wetting hilarious stuff. Treat yourself.

Cheers

[krobbie]

тАЬIt was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.тАЭ тАФ Anthony Burgess, Earthly Powers

"Once upon a time there lived in Berlin, Germany, a man called Albinus. He was rich, respectable, happy; one day he abandoned his wife for the sake of a youthful mistress; he loved; was not loved; and his life ended in disaster.тАЭ - NabokovтАЩs, Laughter in the dark

тАЬI planned my death carefully; unlike my life, which meandered along from one thing to another, despite my
feeble attempts to control it.тАЭ - Margaret AtwoodтАЩs, Lady Oracle



http://www.edrants.com/?p=2681

It was a dark and stormy night, the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind that swept up the streets (For it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the house tops and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled agains the darkness.
Edward George Bulwar-Lytton Paul Clifford


It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.
George Orwell 1984