Sending money home to Mom

[bing]

Dodger-- I hear what you say about many of the guys sending money home to Mom and Dad, who have trouble rubbing coins together. I like bar boys, no shame in making a good living, since they are working hard. I am not one for doing gold or phones. Yet last visit after a week or so of my usual passing on of baht to my favorite young man, I noticed he had a new phone which he proudly showed me one evening. Lots of lights, bells and whistles. While they send lots home, it is a status symbol to have the latest phone on the market. I think they gain much face with friends when they whip out the newest version and let others look on it with envy . Heck, I almost wanted one. He was so glad when we went to Cabbages and Condoms for a final semi-romantic dinner. He was able to call out favorite motorbike boy for our ride home. The boy on the bike was waiting for us as we exited the restaurant. In the talk of the credit card people, the moment was priceless. I am sort of glad to know he had enough to send home and to get his new toy. By the way, If you like the sound of the surf pounding on the shore as you partake of late evening dinning experience, I can whole heartedly recommend Cabbage and Condoms. The only admonition is that you don't take the table the waiter offers, it will be in the main dinning area. You want to go to the area by the surf outside. If you don't make this a memorable event which will warm your heart in the months that follow, you don't have a romantic scale higher than that of a piss ant. At least that is the way I remember the place. But then again, I really do like pounding surf. It could be the G&T or in this evenings version Gin and orange juice, but I really do enjoy keeping an eye on all your postings, well there are a few posting more fit for the pottie than the fine cultured folk of this forum.

I like bar boys, no shame in making a good living, since they are working hard.

Working hard? Surely you're joking? If bar boys work hard, what do you call their brothers and sisters doing twelve-hour shifts in sweat shops?

The sweat shops that bar boys work in are the crotches, arm pits and asses of fat smelly old Farang. I think I would prefer 12 hours of manufacturing or construction labor to the hours of acting like I was having a great time in a bar fondling some drunken smelley old goat and telling him how handsome he was....and then having to get naked with the smelly old goat for an hour or two all the while pretending to be turned on. Bar boys work very hard indeed for their money.

The sweat shops that bar boys work in are the crotches, arm pits and asses of fat smelly old Farang. I think I would prefer 12 hours of manufacturing or construction labor to the hours of acting like I was having a great time in a bar fondling some drunken smelley old goat and telling him how handsome he was....and then having to get naked with the smelly old goat for an hour or two all the while pretending to be turned on. Bar boys work very hard indeed for their money.
The per hourly rate more than makes up for such unpleasantness for lots of people, so go cry a river for the poor suffering prostitutes somewhere else.
What does that factory job pay? Even 20 baht an hour?

The sweat shops that bar boys work in are the crotches, arm pits and asses of fat smelly old Farang. I think I would prefer 12 hours of manufacturing or construction labor to the hours of acting like I was having a great time in a bar fondling some drunken smelley old goat and telling him how handsome he was....and then having to get naked with the smelly old goat for an hour or two all the while pretending to be turned on. Bar boys work very hard indeed for their money.

Dear Soi 10 Tom,

I never fail to understand the people, not only on this forum but also those who you meet and greet in Pattaya and Bangkok who suddenly start taking a "holier than thou" attitude, when they descended on to these shores for exactly the same reasons as stated above.

Furthermore, those casting these stones, are usually the ones who find fault with every Farang in Pattaya and Bangkok, with the exception of themselves, whom they have promoted to the "Champion of the down trodden prostitute"

Prostitution, is to the Thais, the cheap get out and the lazy way, although the families have no problem at all "living off the proceeds"

There are boys in this town where I am right now,who assisted Tam's brother, without being asked only yesterday, clearing the Land in preparation for a new building we are doing and there were approximately 8/9 boys with not a baht between them, who grafted all day.

They were given, their food from the local restaurant, four bottles of white whisky and packets of cigarettes thrown in the middle of the area where they sat on the floor eating.

The laughed and sang into the early hours and disappeared off home, having enjoyed their day with their pals.

These are the boys who will not go work in the bars, some feel they are not good looking enough and some find the very thought of it disgusting.

They feel they are richer living like they are without the necessity for super duper phones,pieces of gold.

They are also not lying, cheating, stealing and murdering lonely old foreigners,in Bangkok or Pattaya who come to Thailand seeking what can be best described as the "very difficult" the love of a teenage boy, who is not particularly interested.

Many of the bar boys just want to tell a sob story so they can get as much money as possible and be out with their mates with the new motorbike and phone pulling the birds and pretending he is wealthy to the local Thais earning a living emptying dustbins, tending the land or in supermarkets on minimum wages.

VERY LITTLE IS GETTING SENT HOME BY,NOT ALL,BUT A LOT OF THEM.

That is why the Thai Karaokes and Disco's,catering for their own, are usually packed full.

The go work in the bars, because, as far as they are concerned "it is fast easy money"

They have options and they don't have to do it.

When you were 17/18 years old and you wanted something, you saved up from your wages for it,it was slow, took time, but you appreciated and looked after it the day you went and purchased the item you desired!!

You knew the quicker ways to get it, stealing, selling yourself, but most of us chose not to do it that way.

I don't particularly fall for most of their stories any more.

All the best,

Agreed. Bar boys make up the least ambitious, least driven, least diligent, and least motivated segment of Thai male society. To think that they work hard to send money home to Mom is a real laugh. These boys would last about two seconds in a "real" job.

When one grows up in poverty and suddenly sees a way to make a lot of money and have the things they never had sure they will do it for awhile. But the boys in bars only last a short time before going back home and starting familes and thus starting the whole cycle over again.

[Lunchtime O'Booze]

they sound just like you and me ! ( except I used to get mum to send me momey)

[

The per hourly rate more than makes up for such unpleasantness for lots of people, so go cry a river for the poor suffering prostitutes somewhere else.
What does that factory job pay? Even 20 baht an hour?


That's about the correct rate that they pay in the factory Raksiam!

They can push it to even less if you are unfortunate enough to be Cambodian or Burmese working in Thailand.

[francois]

"They were given, their food from the local restaurant, four bottles of white whisky and packets of cigarettes thrown in the middle of the area where they sat on the floor eating." quote by kquill

No doubt your intentions were honorable, kquill, but giving whisky and cigarettes to young men is questionable especially for one who is a cancer survivor. Did you not have your larynx removed due to cancer? Is that not caused by cigarettes?
Alcohol and cigarettes are the leading cause of mouth cancer, throat cancer, lung cancer, etc.

.

The subject of sending money home and the other options Thai lads had or not for working in the bars or selling their bodies came up in recent weeks. I agree 100% with kquill's post--I said something very similar to what he wrote and was told by Dodger and a few others that I was wrong about the poor Thai angels who are forced to work as prostitues.
A few snippets from that previous thread but on the same topic as this thread:

DODGER WROTE:
Most working of the boys send the money they earn directly to their impoverished families which is the primary reason they do this kind of work to begin with. The cell phones and gold chains are simply tokens they receive from people like us, and even these material objects get traded-in (sooner or later) for cash which makes it's way back to the family.

AUNTY WROTE:
How come one rarely sees gogo boys with University degrees, or boys from well off families working in the bars, if prostitution was just a simple matter of another employment choice open to everyone.


Some of what I wrote:

If you'd (referring to Doger's post) said, SOME working boys..., I'd have agreed with you, but I think you believe too quickly their stories that they need the money to send to sick mama, or the water buffalo has died, etc. Also, the choices for employment are not limited to the extremes of working in the fields for a few satang or selling your body in a go go bar. There are plenty of other very honorable otptions for employment--what do you think the vast majority of the other millions do in this country--many poor work several jobs, bell hop, cleaning rooms/swimming pools, delivering water/ice, waiting tables and tons of other tourist-related service jobs that have nothing to do with toiling in the sun or working as a prostitute.

And you actually believe the material things actually get traded in so the lads can then send the money back to their homes--they get traded in to pay off gambling debts or to pay off other loans, or to finance a trip to the disco or to buy that motorbike or new mobile phone they have had their eye on and could never afford until some farang bought them the easily pawnable Thai gold chain.


I add now: Certainly, you will not see many poor Issan lads with university degrees--not uncommon for the poor in any country to struggle with education and all other aspects of life. Prostiution is certainly an employment option open to every one--but usually only the poor select it as the better off have a great deal more options, but that does not mean that the poor only have choices to toil in the fields or become prostitutes--as kquill said, it is "fast and easy money"--millions of other poor Thai, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Americans, British, Indian, etc, make other choices that involve a lot more work and effort. As Kquil said, why some farang come here and suddenly portray the working lads as if they are in some kind of forced servitude--a sexual slavery from which the poor angels cannot escape--it must help them with their conscience to think that the money they give the lads for easy sex is really going home to help mama feed the sick buffalo rather to the lad's gambling and disco habits.

[Bob]

Based on my experience, there is no doubt that many of the boys occasionally send a small percentage home - but I doubt if more than half actually do that. Just guessing on the percentage of boys that do it but I have no doubt that it's not an uncommon practice.
And I doubt if the opposite is untrue either - many go home when the money is gone so they can share the meager wealth (and food) at home.

[bing]

An observation. It seems we state the facts as we know them, and that can have great variance as to how many and how well we know specific individuals. If I sound like I know a great many young guys in Thailand, I would say naa naa naa. The guys I do know I have known for several years, one from 2001 and the other for 4 years. I have also known several others but not nearly so well as my two special friends. I have spoken to parents of both on the phone, not much English for them and not much Thai for me. On my last visit, my friend was going to back to Chiang Mai to celebrate his mother's birthday and was chipping in with his father and brothers to get her a ring. While I was appraised of the party being planned, I was not hit up to contribute to it. My other friend had an eye problem and did go home for some time to be with him Mom while recovering. He is back in Pattaya now working full time in hotel not a bar. He says he is too old for the bars now. He is still cute to me. I still chuickle when I think of being cajoled into the big temple on South Soi by Day/Night with my friend, he wanted us to have a Monk bless us. The water the Monk sprinkled on us did not turn to steam as it hit us so I guess it was a good experience. I know when I am not in Pattaya they are open to meeting other farangs, and it is my hope they meet only the best of visitors. A sentiment I have to all forum members is to have a great holliday and take good care of those who make a real effort to see you enjoy every minute. I'll repeat my thoughts on vacations, "Spend on vacation and save when at home."

[Shuee]

i find this issue of sending -taking money home to mama very interesting, & i am astonished how quick regulars of mine last trip would be spending the money i gave them on a dailey basis.

i think that they spend it as soon as they have gained it, becuase for some, if they dont it will get stolen from other lads sharing their room.
i have also been in some of the pits that they sleep in, & anyone can just walk in, the doors are open, but then some paying more for room have locks on them....
Then for some to set up a bank account is just too much effort.

so i think too that very little if not any goes home to mama, but if the bs has a few baht left on the day he's going back home, this will of course be handed over to the parents, or will it?

…. that’s an very unhappy relationship. Most Thai love to have some money but the money doesn’t like to stay with Thai people.

Most employees in industrial areas or tourist spots are from up-country, usually having a farming related background. In any farming area cash is a very rare. Farmers have house, food and some work. But getting paid on a regular basis happened only to civil servants. Even factory workers in Thailand are never sure about pay of regular wages.

Sending 2 or 3000 TBT home is a hell of a lot of money for avarage Isaan families. Demand of cash is also pending on seasons. During planting season they need money otherwise they could not afford plants and helpers. During harvesting season they need some otherwise they need to borough on harvest which equals up to 25 to 40 % interests.

Not many farmers own there grounds. If they live on rented grounds a large share of the farming income belong to the landlord. This kind of farmers does just have the work, all the risks, but nothing else.

My Supervisor is lucky. He inherited some land which was sufficient to raise an extensive family (he is the youngest of 14) properly. Therefore he needed to take care of his parents and pay them a certain monthly allowance like a pension. In order to raise his parents allowance he needed to work somewhere else where he got paid in cash. This wasn’t easy for him but he could manage.

He saved money like hell and invested any TBT thoughtfully and he had a good hand. I liked his style and admired his hard work and surely helped him out sometimes. His parents are very proud of Supervisor.

What I did or what I am doing is usually pre-financing some work he/we liked to have done – and he uses some of our budget to extent his farm and from harvests results we extend our house. Not all do have this option but he is using it in a very unique style and I love any move of it.

I am aware that some people around Supervisor are pushing him to squeeze some more money out of me. Some are even not ware that I can follow there conversation even in our special Lao dialect. I don’t deal with anyone local directly. Of course, there are friends who know and we chat in Lao together.

Once Supervisor had enough of all this and especially one particular neighbour so he bought some deeds from a bank as soon as he knew tat his unbearably neighbour was late with credit payments. Supervisor added the new small farm to his estate and asked a well known middle ranking police officer to remove his neighbour – while I have been away for two weeks. All villagers where happy to see our nonsense neighbour go but turned out to be fare more polite to us afterwards. Another lesson learned.

Be sure. Most people working away from home do fear nothing more but a phone call from home. Any call is a silent reminder of support needed of a strict demand for cash in case of emergencies. The economic prosperity of Khorat, Udon, Ubon, Pitchit, and many other regions are financed from cash which has been generated in Bangkok, Phuket, Pattaya, Chiang Mai or Hua Hin. And the recipients know that some sources are dubious but they will not ask more about.

"They were given, their food from the local restaurant, four bottles of white whisky and packets of cigarettes thrown in the middle of the area where they sat on the floor eating." quote by kquill

No doubt your intentions were honorable, kquill, but giving whisky and cigarettes to young men is questionable especially for one who is a cancer survivor. Did you not have your larynx removed due to cancer? Is that not caused by cigarettes?
Alcohol and cigarettes are the leading cause of mouth cancer, throat cancer, lung cancer, etc.

.


Francois,

I didn't give them anything, these were given by Tams Father and brother


Also, thanks for letting me know about how you contract Throat cancer, I thought it was from dirty water or blow jobs.

I've just read your post!