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Dodger
July 15th, 2007, 23:52
I never get out of bed this early on a Sunday morning. I just woke up during the tail-end of a dream that had me perspiring, and IтАЩll spend the rest of the day thinking about how it ended.

My BF, who IтАЩll refer to as Tape, was standing in front of the large mirror in our bedroom brushing his hair and doing those little self-smiles the boys do when theyтАЩre flirting with themselves. Two other boys, who were total strangers to me, were sitting on the foot of my bed taking their clothes off in a slow and seducing manner. The scene was apparently set for a little manage aтАЩquad, as my BF remained focused on his smiles in the mirror.

The first boy stood up for a minute to undue his belt buckle and just let his black hip-hugger jeans fall to the ground. A second later, his skimpy white bikini briefs were flying through the air aimed at a lonely looking wooden chair sitting in the corner of the room. He had a face like an angel, long shoulder-length jet black hair, a slim and perfectly defined body and a masterpiece between his legs that hug low and heavy, with a shiny pink tip protruding from itтАЩs dark brown uncut shell as if it were about to come alive and start eating everything in the room. The second boy, who was also a doll, appeared a bit shy, but followed the same routine until he was standing in front of me naked with his half-hard cock bobbing in the wind.

Every cell in my body seemed to be captured by the magnet of these two angels. I wanted them so bad at that moment that I almost forgot that Tape was standing in the same room тАУ within arms reach тАУ watching my every move in the reflection of the mirror.

The plan, I think, was for all four of us to get tangled up together, but Tape just remained in a firm stance in front of the mirror. When the two boys started undressing me I felt this flurry of emotions. Not just sexual exhilaration, but more surprisingly, a mixed sense of confusion and regret. I love my BF and had never shared him with anyone before. I thought that he loved me and wouldnтАЩt want to share me either. Was this going to be the sexual highlight of my holiday тАУ or an episode that I would regret the rest of my life?

I was being torn in half at that point. I could tell by the glances of Tapes expression reflecting in the mirror that he was bothered by this. ItтАЩs when he finally turned away from the mirror and walked towards the bed to join us that I saw the truth. He was smiling, but it was the wrong kind of smile. Thai boys have a thousand different Smiles, each being a true reflection of their inner-most emotions at that precise moment in time. To know the true meaning of a Thai boys Smile, you have to see inside his soul. This particular Smile is what IтАЩll categorize as, the тАЬAcceptance & Complacency SmileтАЭ. He was not happy, or even in agreement with the situation, although willing to accept his role with humility and focus-on тАУtask.

The final decision was mine, and mine only. In a mega-second I had to decide which way it was going to be. Go for the gold, and become entangled in the arms (and legs) of these beautiful boys, or not. I remember pulling away from the shy boy who already had his lips around my cock тАУ and the other, who was chuk waowing a few inches away from my face, and I just sat there. Tape had sat next to me on the bed and already had his shirt buttons undone. I just looked at him. I could see behind his Smile тАУ and I believe he could see behind mine. I took him in my arms and we remained locked in each others holds until the two boys had enough time to get their clothes back on. We started kissing passionately, although it wasnтАЩt sexually passionate kissingтАжit was a desperate type of passion.

So, there you have it. My entire Trip Report in one simple DreamтАжLOL.

I always believed that dreams are significant. Well, at least this one was for me, because, after thinking deeply about each phase of the dream, I could see a direct parallel between my subconscious emotions in the dream тАУ and the feelings and emotions I experienced consciously during my last holiday. I wanted to Butterfly, but didnтАЩt want to lose HIM.

The plans he and I had for this past holiday were wonderful, almost beyond description. A wedding next to the waterfalls of Koh Han, a joyous celebration with his family and friends in the jungle setting of Si Saket, a fly-away honeymoon at a romantic seaside bungalow on Koh SamuiтАжdoes it get any better than that? Well, unfortunately, none of that happened. IтАЩm still smiling mind you, although IтАЩm afraid itтАЩs another one of those тАЬAcceptance & ComplacencyтАЭ types againтАжfor a while anyway.

This would be a lot easier to explain if I could just blame it all on him, but silly lies wonтАЩt get me anywhere. The fact is, I blew it, and I blew it almost immediately upon my arrival in LOS. Two days after our reunion in PTY, I pulled a brilliant stunk and left a karaoke bar with another boy, who I then took back to my condo for sex. To make matters worse, it was a friend of Tapes. When I consider all the experience IтАЩve gained over the years with Thai boys, I find it hard to believe I was that stupid. Having sex with another boy on the eve of my wedding, in-and-by-itself, wasnтАЩt the end of the world, at least the way I approach things in life, but by doing this with a boy who was within my BFтАЩs circle of friends was a disaster. After spending months telling his family and friends about his wedding, he now had lost total face with everyone around him.

Tape was angry with me and the boy who I slithered out of the club with. He packed his things and left the condo immediately. All this time I was worried about him having relationships with other people, or going off with farangs for money, or having another BF on-the-side, whatever, and it turned out to be me that bit the big cookie.

We stayed apart for a few days following this episode which was one of the darkest periods of my life. His friends kept telling me to go see him тАУ that he was depressed and wanted to see me, but this was a hard nut to crack. When I heard that he went back to work again as a waiter at a local gogo bar it felt like someone had just stabbed me in the chest with an ice pick. Then I became angry. I felt that if this is what he wantedтАжfine, I would just start to enjoy myself on the Butterfly path again and be done with it. Easily said, but not easily done.

Before launching on my Butterfly crusade, I went to a beer bar where a few of his closest friends worked to have a drink. No, actually, I didnтАЩt go there for the drink, I just went there to get the scoop on what Tape was doing. His friends circled me, and with a real sense of concern and seriousness, encouraged me to go see him. They said that Tape, after spending a few days sitting inside his room, decided to work as a waiter, although had no intentions of going off with a farang for fear of really losing me forever. I know тАУ I know, weтАЩve all heard this shit a thousand times over, but for some reason it made sense to me. Tape and I were at a very critical junction, and a mistake by either party at this point would off-set any possibilities of us getting back together again.

I talked to several of my farang friends, including a few who are probably reading this now, who informed me that they saw Tape working again, although he was just serving drinks and spending most of his time sitting on a chair outside the place with a sulking look on his face. After hearing this I decided to make the first move, one in which I would deeply regret.

When I walked into the bar I spotted him sitting with two of his friends in the corner. At first glance, he appeared depressed looking, and was postured sitting on a stool with his head hung low, and he wasnтАЩt dressed for the place at all. IтАЩve always loved his taste in clothing, as he never walks out of the condo without making a fashion statement, but this night was different. His hair looked as if it wasnтАЩt even brushed and he was wearing an oversized bar T shirt that didnтАЩt even look pressed. He was definitely not having a good time.

I took a seat on the other side of the bar away from the action and ordered a drink. The mamasan immediately trotted over and started urging me to buy Tape a drink. I turned down the offer and said I wasnтАЩt staying long. Then Tape did something that really blew me away. Here I am hoping that heтАЩd come dashing across the bar with tears streaming down his face тАУ like the blonde did in the movie South Pacific when her French lover returned from the war - and fall into my arms, but conversely, he walked straight over to a farang who was seated directly in front of me, and started snuggling up close to him. WowтАжwhat a great time I was havingтАжLOL.

I quickly finished my drink (actually, I gulped the fucking thing down so fast I had it dripping off my chin) and smiled at the mamasan (that A&C smile again), as and walked out the door. I was no more than a few steps from the place and two of Tapes friends started tugging on my arms to stop. They were babbling things likeтАжplease you come backтАжhe only do to make you jealousтАжhe cry too much for youтАжblah, blah, blah. I tried to look as if I was not bothered by the scene I just witnessed and politely declined their offer.

The next morning my phone rang at 8:00 AM and it was him. This was a real shock, as he normally doesnтАЩt even open his eyes until 11:00 AM, and thatтАЩs only to make a trip to the bathroom so he can go poo poo without me hearing him with the music on. He asked me тАЬkhun sabaidee maiтАЭ, and I told him, not too sabaidee. He asked me if I was alone and I told him I was. He sounded relieved and asked me if he could come to see me, and I said тАжmost definitely.

We talked for several hours which led to us getting back together again, but the next few weeks were on-again тАУ off-again. We also had to explain the circumstances to his parents when they came to visit us which resulted in another very dark moment. Not only did my BF lose face when I cheated on him, but his family was now about to lose face back in their village. The people in those small towns in remote areas like Isaan donтАЩt have a lot to look forward to in life. They just seem to survive day-by-day, moment-by-moment, focusing on tending to their gardens and feeding their families in a repetitious cyclic existence. When something special happens, like when a farang from Neptune lands his spacecraft in their rice paddy for the purpose of throwing a party for the neighborhoodтАжthatтАЩs something they donтАЩt easily forget. Well, due to our decision to postpone our wedding until April of next year, his family was placed in a very embarrassing situation.

IтАЩve had a lot to deal with lately, but try to stop myself from feeling bad for myself considering how much IтАЩve hurt those I love so much.

Before all the nay sayers and trolls (is there a difference?) jump on the bandwagon with your whips drawn, IтАЩll tell you straight out that IтАЩm fully aware of the potential pitfalls of having a relationship like this and wonтАЩt gain any value from hearing about how foolish my actions are. I know I live 10,000 miles away from him тАУ I know heтАЩs old enough to be my son тАУ I know he earned a living as a prostitute, and really donтАЩt care This is my life and I will live it the way I see fit.

After we got the admissions to the family out of the way and a few more good fights under our belts, things seemed to start improving incrementally. We started buying more food at the grocery store and eating out less often. We took a trip up North to visit the family and enjoyed the time we had together in an environment away from the glittery lights of Sexville. The highlight of our time together was a trip to Koh Samet. IтАЩm not sure if it could compete with the type of highlight I moistened my sheets with in that dream last night, but it was splendidтАжLOL I decided to splurge and rented an ocean front bungalow at the remote and exclusive Aou Prao Resort. I donтАЩt even want to tell you how much it cost for fear that youтАЩll really think IтАЩve flipped my lid. But it was worth every satang.

I sat one morning alone on the rocks writing him a letter. I guess after a few days of solitude trying to unravel the emotions of the past month, it just seemed natural to try to put my feelings into words. I laid the letter next to the bed while he was still sleeping and moseyed up to the lodge for an early morning breakfast. An hour later he came walking down the path that leads to the lodge which was a wonderful sight. It was obvious that he didnтАЩt partake in the routine ritual of spending an hour in front of the mirror тАУ as his hair made him look like a chicken that just popped out of an egg and he was wearing a pair of my shorts which fit him like a tent. He was also wearing my favorite T shirt that reads тАУ тАЬHeтАЩs the Gay Guy, IтАЩm Only With Him for the Bucks.тАЭ He was just beautiful.

He had read the letter. I knew it the minute he sat down. He gave me another Smile тАУ only this time it wasnтАЩt the A&C type, it was, what IтАЩll call, the PRK (Phum Ruk Koon) type. After the countless times weтАЩve had sex together, this morning in our lives would mark the first time that we had made love to each other. And if that sounds corny to you, and IтАЩm sure it does, so be it.

HeтАЩs now attending school in Ubon Ratchathani and riding his motorbike back to Si Saket on the weekends to visit his family. We talk on the phone every week and count the days until weтАЩre together again. Up until recently, going to school and living a normal life with his family was just a dream. But I guess behind all dreams is the possibility of a reality just waiting to happen.

And, by-the-way Spike...this is really me.

Mai pen rai

Wesley
July 16th, 2007, 00:12
I cried the whole way through, and now I think I will go to bed and cry some more. And Yes there is a huge difference between having sex and making love. You have made me realize after all these years the Tin man still has a heart!

Wesley

July 16th, 2007, 01:00
Very nice thanks for sharing.
I to had to wipe a tear from my eye.

catawampuscat
July 16th, 2007, 01:16
This report reminds me of Tricky Rich, who married a Thai guy and took him to live with
him in the UK. He wrote deep profound and very personal reports of the ups and downs
of the relationship.
Since Tricky Rich has not reported in for a long spell, I wonder if he was able to overcome the
age differences, cultural differences etc. and if things are working out well.
Of course, it is absolutely none of my business but it might be helpful to Dodger who is also
planning to go the marriage route.
It is going to be a non stop roller coaster and quicksand but it sounds like Dodger can handle
the strum und drang and survive. :cat:

July 16th, 2007, 01:43
Before all the nay sayers and trolls (is there a difference?) jump on the bandwagon with your whips drawn, IтАЩll tell you straight out that IтАЩm fully aware of the potential pitfalls of having a relationship like this and wonтАЩt gain any value from hearing about how foolish my actions are. I know I live 10,000 miles away from him тАУ I know heтАЩs old enough to be my son тАУ I know he earned a living as a prostitute, and really donтАЩt care This is my life and I will live it the way I see fit.

I don't usually join these forums, but after reading your story I had to post a reply. You could not of said it better, you go.... Thankyou for your story, my boyfriend and I are going thru the same thing. He came from the same background and the same type of village (which I had the pleasure of visiting). And now I am proud to annouce that he is in his first year at Assumption University. His family loaded up in a pickup and drove from Khon Kaen to Bangkok to see him at his university for the first time. He told me with tears in his eyes how proud his mother was of him and how see cried when he showed her around the campus. All 8 of them spent 10 hours with him and then they took off back to Khon Kaen, with his mother with a full heart knowing her one son out of 5 children will make somthing of his life. I will be visiting him in Bangkok soon and then I am going ahead of him to Pattaya for a few days to wait for him to come during days off school. I will keep your story in mind as I will only look and not buy the boys. I will wait for the one I love. Thanks again for a wonderful story. Lenny

July 16th, 2007, 02:22
OH NO!! who let you back on here - hahahahah

nice report dodge

July 16th, 2007, 03:49
Another amazing trip report by Dodger. The single biggest reason why i won't fall into another relationship there. I just can't stop looking at all the gorgeous guys there. A cute guy with a great smile and long hair and I loose all sense of right and wrong and loyalty. We can all say its the boy cheating with another farang and we dismiss our own activites but when we finally meet a boy and then lose them due to our own stupidity it really hits home just what the real problem is. I have been there and most of us have but in your case you seem to have been given a second chance, I wish you the best and hope the wrong has been righted.

bucknaway
July 16th, 2007, 04:37
Thanks Dodger. I enjoyed your trip report... I am one of those guys that thinks every relationship is due to fail and I stopped trying to have one for myself. I have had my heart broken and I have broken a few hearts myself. I promised myself not to put myself or anyone in a hurting way ever again.

Your story reminds me of a guy who loved me with all his heart and I pretended to love him back. I cheated on him without a second thought and even when he knew the truth, he was willing to overlook it all just to stay with me. And when I told him I was going to go to Thailand, He gave me $500 slipped in a card with a note telling me of his love and trust and wishing me a restful vacation.

July 16th, 2007, 07:20
Thank your Doger, my eyes are still blurred.

I think I understand you situation completely. I have been with a young man for three years now and on this last trip something similar happened.

Your wrote:


After the countless times weтАЩve had sex together, this morning in our lives would mark the first time that we had made love to each other. And if that sounds corny to you, and IтАЩm sure it does, so be it.

Not corny at all. For me it was the same.. A day in the surf at Koh Chang, dinner on the beach under the stars with the sound of the surf as a gentle symphony in the back ground, and a walk and talk that took us back to the room. Not a night of sex, but a night of love. And, from the night onward it was a different relationship.

Maybe we should have seen it coming, maybe he did, but sometimes I am to slow in affairs of the heart. A few days later back in Pattaya at a very special dinner at BrunoтАЩs, it was clear that we were committed to one another in way that is special and rare.

He is now out of the bar scene, he is in school (he is so cute and handsome in his school uniform) and we are planning a long life together. I have no idea where this is going, but on the next trip he wants me to meet the family. Only time will tell where we end upтАж

Best wishes and good luck to you.

bao-bao
July 16th, 2007, 07:35
Thanks for this latest installment, Dodger. It was a wonderful read.

Everyone's different. Some couples thrive on calamity, some rarely disagree on anything.

You may have a number of stormy stretches ahead, but I wish you both the best on your search for your private cove of marital bliss at some point.

I'll be looking forward to further updates here.

July 16th, 2007, 09:59
interestng read, most definitely, but life does go on in the issan village, party or no party, but from what I have seen is that the nellies love the melodrama, love living their lives like it's one big soap opera--reads like one of those victorian love novels that we know is just a bunch of mush that in the real world doesn't exisit.

Just taking one example, if all these plans had been made and all was in love,--spent months telling the boys's family about the waterfall wedding and fly away honeymoon and then on the eve of the "wedding" all it took was the looks of a lad from a karoke bar to make Dodger forget all that and run for the sex--oh, that bodes well for the future--better stay away from all karoke bars in the future!

Aunty
July 16th, 2007, 10:04
Well as a cold arctic bitch, I'll leave the blubbering to the others thus inclined.

My honest opinion after reading the above, Dodger, and let's face it if you post to a public forum you have to expect some honest feedback.

You cheated on your fiancee a few weeks before your wedding with one of his best friends.

You'll get no sympathy from me mate. You're a heel.

July 16th, 2007, 13:48
Thanks for the update Dodger, I wish you both all the very best for the future.


G.

PeterUK
July 16th, 2007, 14:37
You have a gift for vivid, humorous description, Dodger. The boy whose 'hair made him look like a chicken that just popped out of an egg' - I love it!

Wesley
July 16th, 2007, 16:11
deleted as is the poster

And yet another one from the Christmas troll, surely I will run out of adjectives before to long, it was well written, in fact I thought his style and intense feelings were good enough for at least a gay Thailand movie . Certainly if they can take the driveling script of two Gay cowboys who were in the beginning a little more than horny, they can take a book written by dodger as well and make a real love story out of it instead of having quite so blunt of an ending as was for the Cowboy movie.

Wesley

jonwesley
July 16th, 2007, 18:58
Good luck Dodger from someone who has been a relationship for 12 years with a Thai man I can tell you it's going to been a bumpy ride but worth it. John

bao-bao
July 16th, 2007, 20:33
For those with enough class to do so, please forgive me repeating myself:

Late-teenagers can be cute visuals, but no male is worth taking a SECOND look at until they are into their mid-twenties, at least. Those in their late twenties are more interesting still (inasmuch as life experiences have begun to shape them), and the early thirties are the beginnings of relationship material, in my humble opinion - speaking as a person a bit over 50 - although "mental equality" is vitally important, too - and I'm not referring to IQs.

A generalization there, but from what I've experienced and observed it seems to hold true more than trying to build something lasting with a male that hasn't yet established who he truly is.

The larger the difference in ages between the two, the more potential problems there are, although that difference is less important as time goes by; those 20 + 35 are going to find things much more of a challenge than a couple of 35 + 50 (age usually bringing some wisdom to the equation).

As much "fun" as many here think it would be, I seriously question the wisdom of a 55 year old trying to establish a "lifelong" relationship with a 23 year old (and, in most cases, their touch with reality).

I certainly wish the best to anyone who wants to try it, but it's a long paddle on rough waters in a leaky canoe.

Smiles
July 16th, 2007, 20:55
" ... my BF remained focused on his smiles in the mirror ... "
I like that part. Did I get laid?


And thanks for the story dear Dodger. You can be quite disreputable at times ~ as are most nymphos ~ and find it difficult to say "mai oww" to even the most flighty or casual dalliance. But your sense of humour, irony, and 'self' save the day for me. I wonder if Tape will see it in similar terms at the end of the day?

Cheers ...

Dodger
July 17th, 2007, 06:33
I'd like to thank all you guys (and girls) for your comments on this thread - regardless of the nature of your response.

Before I do my usual babbling, I'd like to take a minute to thank you Circuskid for your comments. It's always nice to hear a new voice among the rafters of Sawatdee and hope you continue to participate in our discussions actively.

I can't say that I was surprised at the types of responses I received on this thread, as I've been observing the broad spectrum of personality traits exhibited by our members for a long time now, and didn't find one single response to be out of character for the personality of the person posting his response.

I live my life with a passion, and try to approach everything I do with an open mind and a willingness to learn more. I rarely, if ever, condemn other people for their decisions in life, and rarely, if ever, allow another persons opinion to guide my ship.

If a gay relationship lasts for two years in my country it's cause for celebration, as most fail within the first 6-18 months. I've never been in one of these relationships and admit that I still have a lot to learn, but what I won't make the mistake of doing is defining the root cause of these failed relationships on the AGE factor - for the mere fact that the vast majority of these failed gay relationships involve couples who are in the same age bracket. There's also no doubt in my mind that the attraction of a much younger guy to an older mate is motivated by financial security. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. I guess that then leaves the question open as to how a relationship like this can mature successfully over time, assuming that the elder in the relationship is motivated primarily by emotional and sexual gratification. Well, who knows. I certainly don't have the answer. At least for YOU I don't have the answer, but for me, it's worth exploring....I love a challenge.

Let's just take a look at the challenge:

- I'm 51 - he's 21
- I was raised in a fast paced modern city on Neptune - he was raised in the jungle
- I was driving a car at age 16 - he was struggling to tug the water buffalo from the muck in the rice paddy
- I read the newspaper - he reads cartoon soap operas
- I listen to Jeff Beck - he listens to Isaan jungle racket
- I wake up with the sun - and he doesn't wake up, he evolves from a cocoon when the sun reaches it's daily peak

Ok...there must be some compatibilities;

- I enjoy cooking - he enjoys cooking
- I have sensitive feelings - he has sensitive feelings
- I want a relationship with a younger guy (for my desires) - he wants a relationship with an older guy (for his desires)
- I prefer the top - he prefers the bottom
- I watch his cartoons because he enjoys them - he hums along with Steely Dan because he knows I enjoy them
- I pretend that I'm a great lover - he pretends that he believes me

And both lists could go on-and-on.

I received a personal message today from an anonymous member who shared some interesting insight on this topic. He has been in a steady relationship with his partner for over 20 years, and there's an age gap between him and his partner of 43 years. He happens to be the younger person in the relationship. He stated that his motives at first were centered on financial security, although transitioned over time to a deep and lasting friendship and love affair. He now supports his partner financially, who is now in his eighties.

My older brother was once married to a girl named Janet who had all the answers. She self-appointed herself as my older sister and mentor and continuously lectured me about how WRONG I was about every thing I did in life. From what I understand, she tackled 3 more husbands after my brother parted ways with her, and she now has a half dozen kids and lives alone on State welfare. One afternoon my brother walked into the house holding a baby pig. Of course everyone thought this was hilarious. I walked up to him and asked him what was going on - and he said he got it for Janet at the County Fair. I said...Good Swap.

Nobody got it.

Mai pen rai

Bob
July 17th, 2007, 06:36
As usual, thanks for the posting, Dodger. I can strongly relate to some of your expressions of various feelings but, then again, I'm not brave (dumb?) enough to post those type of feelings on a board such as this (before I get lambasted for that comment, I only mean to desparage the 3-4 idiots that are allowed to roam these halls).

As to JB's comments that you must choose between monogamy and butterflying, I don't know if I buy that fully. For 6 years, I've been 98% faithful to one Thai bf but I do want occasionally to butterfly (sometimes, when we're a little pissy with each other, the attitude grows exponentially). Whether I should want to do that is irrelevant to me....I just acknowledge that I occasionally have the desire. I just haven't done it.....well, that's sorta true if you ignore the rare occasional massage with happy ending I have gotten. But, when one sees the occasional stunner that friggin' rings your libidinal bell, what the hell am I supposed to want to do (stay inside, don't look, and ice down my dick???)?

Best wishes for you and Tape however it turns out (actually, life's kind of fun not knowing the ending, right?).

ChrisUK
July 17th, 2007, 07:35
Well, Dodger, you really had me going with your opening "Dream" scene. It had my own mind whirling about the relationships I have had and wondering how many guys I had let down one way or another. As I read on with the real story, I couldn't help sighing and thinking how glad I am in letting guys know at appropriate times that I am butterfly. This puts any friendship/relationship at the most appropriate level for both of us from the start. I'm glad I frequently bump into you on our visits as you always give a good impression of how to enjoy yourself. I remember the last report you made before travelling to your "wedding" last visit and commenting to you in Sunee how interesting and surprising your plans were, then learning it was not going to happen.

In a sense, I almost wish you hadn't given so much detail, but on reflection it's good to read how we can follow a path that just isn't right. I know I've done it plenty of times. I know you, as do so many others, that you're basically a butterfly and I say "good for you". So am I but, like you, I don't rule out any possible developments in the future. I like to keep all my options open while at the same time knowing my 'wanderlust' will probably never leave me. Nearly all my relationships of more than a few days have ended up getting messy and giving me and them grief.

We are who we are and I doubt if many of us change fundamentally, especially later in life, but I hope that we can see the effect we have on others, even if it's disguised by the 'Thai smile', - "acceptance and complacency" as you say, or maybe "resignation".

Having said that, thanks very much for opening your heart out once again and informing us of your exploits, especially after this episode. We can all learn from it.

x in pattaya
July 17th, 2007, 20:28
I wish you all the best X in your attempt at happiness, whether it be real or infatuation I hope it last forever

It's not an attempt dearie. I am happy and it's real.

We have settled into a relationship which suits us both. It's not some classic, predefined relationship which fits some mold designed by someone else and it probably would not appeal to everyone, but then I think the problem a lot of people have is that they try to establish some Ozzie & Harriet, Father Knows Best, hetero-esque, pseudo marriage, which is bound to fail.

It could hardly be an infatuation which is, by definition, a short-lived passion. Passion is bound to fade and, unless there is something substantial to replace it, the relationship which inspired the passion will also pass. We don't have irrational passion. We have grocery lists, medical insurance, wills, times when our shows are on TV and we are not to be bothered, shared dental appointments.

It wouldn't appeal to many, but it suits us to perfection.

I notice you said you dump "boys" after they turn 26 and start to look like you. How sad that the relationship depends on looks only and has a "sell-by" date stamped on the bottom of the package.

Anyone establishing a relationship with a Thai male has to understand that after a few years the farang will still have a number of options. With the proper bankroll, the replaceable and disposible companions are available as long as the ATMs are online. Those options don't exist for the Thai guy you claimed you loved and cared for. There have been times when we've been truly pissed at each other and times when I think how hassle-free my life would be if I were on my own, but he's never going to be replaced by the latest model to roll off the assembly line.

Whether or not it's love, we're happy and it's real, and it's sure nothing to do with infatuation.



I hope it last forever. It almost has.

Wesley
July 17th, 2007, 21:54
Generally, the truth is X that after they graduate they get a job go to Germany for a higher education or, in some way dump me. I guess after a while I just get used to that and assume they are going to move on. This one does seem to be different he says I am an interesting man a very interesting man. Becoming a doctor he came from a well to do Kyrgyz family. I tried to let him go a few weeks ago. He would not have it. He made it clear he didn'tтАЩt want my money that if he needed money all he had to do was ask his Mom and dad. So, maybe I got a winner this time, if so I will stick with it as long as I am able to remain here which I hope in many ways, is forever. It was the one that I loved so much that changed me, we had been together for a long time like 4 years, and I had bought him everything he needed. I went to America on business. When I came back someone on the top floor had left his water running all day and every apartment was ruined under that one so, he had to moved and when I arrived I moved into his apartment with him it was a small one room Soviet style apartment. We were happy. When my apartment was ready again we moved back and 3 weeks later he told me he had been to the German embassy and had obtained a scholarship to go to the Berlin University. In a matter of days he was gone. I could not stand in the way of such an opportunity for a person from here to get a way out was the greatest desire for everyone here. Since then maybe rightly so, I have been a bit skeptical.

I am now with Bahtiar, my current mate and love, he wanted to go to Issikul for the summer and his parents paid for it. Before he left, I gave him a laptop and we went shopping, by the time he comes home I will be in America. He says he will have a gold ring waiting for me when I get back during Christmas No one in the bar will dare to go home with me that knows him. So I have not really tried to bring anyone home. There has been opportunity I guess, but so far I am by myself. With any luck this will be my last, truthfully, I guess that is up to him. He is 26 cute and speaks very good English. He has no problem with me paying the bills but refuses to take more than I offer. He does not smoke or drink, neither do I. I might occasionally have a Corona Extra but, I never get drunk. I just like this one kind of beer and I don't care to drink more than one or two. If I knew how with out taking 3 pages I would post his picture. I may know a round about way to do it f I can, I will. So, wish me luck old man. Hopefully this is my last one. My pattern may be ending. It was never me that ran them out they graduated found that with an education they could get out of this impoverished country and left me here with my work. If this one does not I will be surprised, a doctor gets about 9 dollars a day here so, if he stays good for me, if not I still have my work. I plan to expand into the Philippines next year if all goes well here. I now have people in place that would allow me to leave for extended periods of time to open new businesses in other places. If Bahtiar stays then I guess I will too. I am not a Butterfly at heart, I was with my wife for 8 years a man for 8 years and I can't think of any relationship that didn't last for at least 4 years. So, for a gay guy I have been much luckier than the rest.

The only one I left was the one that was with me when my father died and I had to go home to be with him while we waited for him to die. I stayed at his bedside for almost a year and most of that time in the hospital. Then there was the family Estate to take care of which was large, a lot of land and huge house with 5 bedrooms and a kitchen as large as some homes. Over the years the rest of the kids had borrowed from the estate. I never had when He died it had been all left to me. Every square inch and dollar was mine to keep. I had a good Job waiting for me to go back to when I wanted it. Instead I came here and here I guess I will remain.