Smiles
July 13th, 2007, 22:15
Read yesterday in The Globe (under 'Innovations') some bright bulb has come up with an automatic machine to distribute toilet paper to sitting customers while using public toilets.
The driving force behind the invention was the concept that the only part of a public toilet which allows uncontrolled use is often the toilet paper roll (i.e. one can greedily yank off as much as one thinks is needed to get the job done). So now ~ using the newly-installed device ~ one can pass a (free) hand across the ubiquitous photo eye and receive a specific number of toilet paper sheets.
And how many would that be, you ask? Well, according to surveys done, the average wiper uses 5 squares of paper per wipe . . . so 5 squares it is.
The short article did not go into detail about the invention, so it was not clear if one could continue to swipe the photo eye and receive countless numbers of 5-square lengths . . . or if the sitter is relegated to 5 squares only, and the dispenser (automatically) locks up until a 'new' sitter is detected (by weight perhaps?).
Now, let me confess here that 5 squares (only) is a number I am not familiar with vis-a-vis wiping my ass. I use much more than that blowing my nose.
Frankly, I think that the ultimate bottom line for using public toilets for sit-downs ( which by the way, I avoid where humanly possible) is that during the wipe-up phase one's finger tip(s) does not pierce the paper and enter the (dirty) anus unexpectedly and uncovered. Using 5-squares-only practically guarantees that this will happen if one is not using extreme and delicate caution.
This horror scenario at home would be at least private, and cleaned up immediately . . . with queasiness I'm sure, but little embarrassment. In a public loo? Think about it.
Personally, I don't measure my toilet paper needs by 'squares', but by 'length'. A 'long-as-yer-arm' length will normally suffice for a regular dump. Many arm lengths would be required for those more extreme moments, or, if your ass is very hairy and tends to "hold on" too tightly to the product. Out of modesty, I can hardly comment on the multiple pulls needed during the Diarrhea Dashs which regularly present themselves during trips to Thailand.
Recommendation for the Automated Toilet Paper Dispenser (in the 5-square configuration): D-
Cheers ...
The driving force behind the invention was the concept that the only part of a public toilet which allows uncontrolled use is often the toilet paper roll (i.e. one can greedily yank off as much as one thinks is needed to get the job done). So now ~ using the newly-installed device ~ one can pass a (free) hand across the ubiquitous photo eye and receive a specific number of toilet paper sheets.
And how many would that be, you ask? Well, according to surveys done, the average wiper uses 5 squares of paper per wipe . . . so 5 squares it is.
The short article did not go into detail about the invention, so it was not clear if one could continue to swipe the photo eye and receive countless numbers of 5-square lengths . . . or if the sitter is relegated to 5 squares only, and the dispenser (automatically) locks up until a 'new' sitter is detected (by weight perhaps?).
Now, let me confess here that 5 squares (only) is a number I am not familiar with vis-a-vis wiping my ass. I use much more than that blowing my nose.
Frankly, I think that the ultimate bottom line for using public toilets for sit-downs ( which by the way, I avoid where humanly possible) is that during the wipe-up phase one's finger tip(s) does not pierce the paper and enter the (dirty) anus unexpectedly and uncovered. Using 5-squares-only practically guarantees that this will happen if one is not using extreme and delicate caution.
This horror scenario at home would be at least private, and cleaned up immediately . . . with queasiness I'm sure, but little embarrassment. In a public loo? Think about it.
Personally, I don't measure my toilet paper needs by 'squares', but by 'length'. A 'long-as-yer-arm' length will normally suffice for a regular dump. Many arm lengths would be required for those more extreme moments, or, if your ass is very hairy and tends to "hold on" too tightly to the product. Out of modesty, I can hardly comment on the multiple pulls needed during the Diarrhea Dashs which regularly present themselves during trips to Thailand.
Recommendation for the Automated Toilet Paper Dispenser (in the 5-square configuration): D-
Cheers ...