July 9th, 2007, 20:29
I always love reading Sunbelt Asia's business offerings...it's so much fun to read between the gushing lines. Take this one for example:
This Restaurant is located in the gay area of South Pattaya, and is surrounded by numerous hotels, bars, go-go bars and other eateries. The owners are reluctant to sell, having been in the business for only three months in what has been the low season. They must return to their European homeland however, and consequently the restaurant has been placed on the market. Monthly rent is very low at only 6,000 baht, on an almost brand new three year plus three year lease contract. No key money is applicable, and the restaurant is all ready to start making good money once the high season starts (results have not been spectacular as yet, due to opening in low season, but the restaurant is already profitable). Total floor space measures 80 square metres, and the menu provided at present consists of predominantly Italian and Thai dishes. A small patio leads into the open fronted dining area, and the upper floor of the two storey building features two rooms with en-suite bathrooms that could be used for owner accommodation or staff quarters. (BKK12925)
Total Investment To Own: 750,000 baht.
My reading makes the story more like this:
This half-though-out grease pit is in Sunee Plaza, surrounded by cheap sex tourist fleabag flop houses, pedo bars, and rat-infested full English breakfast fry-up joints. The owners made a terrible mistake opening the place three months ago, at the beginning of low season, and are already broke and desperate. Actually, they had no experience in the restaurant business, but thought it might keep them in enough cash for the occasional 100 baht tip to the underage, glue-sniffing juvenile delinquents who frequent the area. They were tragically wrong, and have decided to cut their losses and return to Europe, as the police are now on to them and they've run afoul of the local mafia. But before doing so, they thought that they might be able to find a sucker stupid enough to pay them for their "investment" that has turned out to be a total disaster. Monthly rent is 6,000 baht, which gives one an ample idea of what a hovel the place is. No key money is applicable -- the landlord knows there's a sucker born every minute, but isn't foolish enough to expect to find someone so brain dead that they'd give him key money for a hole just short of collapsing. Results have not been spectacular -- as a matter of fact, they've only served one meal, and the customer contracted ptomein poisoning. The resulting court case is just one more reason the owners have decided to flee the country. Nevertheless, they have devised a set of fake books to make it look like the place has made a small profit (a prominent member of the local Rotary Club gave them a hand). Total floor space is roughly the size of a walk-in closet, and the menu consists of spaghetti covered with Rosa brand tomato ketchup, and simple Thai dishes that the waiter fetches from a street stall round the corner. The place is an unairconditioned concrete box, which necessitates the open-front lay-out. The upper floor features a two rooms which are so dismal and cockroach-infested that no one has dared sleep in them yet, but they could surely be used as a dormitory for illegal Laotian waiters chained to metal beds with no mattresses.
Total investment to own: 750,000 baht (Bwahahaha!)
This Restaurant is located in the gay area of South Pattaya, and is surrounded by numerous hotels, bars, go-go bars and other eateries. The owners are reluctant to sell, having been in the business for only three months in what has been the low season. They must return to their European homeland however, and consequently the restaurant has been placed on the market. Monthly rent is very low at only 6,000 baht, on an almost brand new three year plus three year lease contract. No key money is applicable, and the restaurant is all ready to start making good money once the high season starts (results have not been spectacular as yet, due to opening in low season, but the restaurant is already profitable). Total floor space measures 80 square metres, and the menu provided at present consists of predominantly Italian and Thai dishes. A small patio leads into the open fronted dining area, and the upper floor of the two storey building features two rooms with en-suite bathrooms that could be used for owner accommodation or staff quarters. (BKK12925)
Total Investment To Own: 750,000 baht.
My reading makes the story more like this:
This half-though-out grease pit is in Sunee Plaza, surrounded by cheap sex tourist fleabag flop houses, pedo bars, and rat-infested full English breakfast fry-up joints. The owners made a terrible mistake opening the place three months ago, at the beginning of low season, and are already broke and desperate. Actually, they had no experience in the restaurant business, but thought it might keep them in enough cash for the occasional 100 baht tip to the underage, glue-sniffing juvenile delinquents who frequent the area. They were tragically wrong, and have decided to cut their losses and return to Europe, as the police are now on to them and they've run afoul of the local mafia. But before doing so, they thought that they might be able to find a sucker stupid enough to pay them for their "investment" that has turned out to be a total disaster. Monthly rent is 6,000 baht, which gives one an ample idea of what a hovel the place is. No key money is applicable -- the landlord knows there's a sucker born every minute, but isn't foolish enough to expect to find someone so brain dead that they'd give him key money for a hole just short of collapsing. Results have not been spectacular -- as a matter of fact, they've only served one meal, and the customer contracted ptomein poisoning. The resulting court case is just one more reason the owners have decided to flee the country. Nevertheless, they have devised a set of fake books to make it look like the place has made a small profit (a prominent member of the local Rotary Club gave them a hand). Total floor space is roughly the size of a walk-in closet, and the menu consists of spaghetti covered with Rosa brand tomato ketchup, and simple Thai dishes that the waiter fetches from a street stall round the corner. The place is an unairconditioned concrete box, which necessitates the open-front lay-out. The upper floor features a two rooms which are so dismal and cockroach-infested that no one has dared sleep in them yet, but they could surely be used as a dormitory for illegal Laotian waiters chained to metal beds with no mattresses.
Total investment to own: 750,000 baht (Bwahahaha!)