Revisionist Islam

I'm wondering if any of our Moslem contributors can tell me whether there is a revisionist branch of Islam, like Liberal Judaism or the Church of England? By "revisionist" I mean one where gender-specific references have been removed and references to slavery have turned into dictums about the household help. I'm after an up-to-date rendering of Sura 23: 1-6, where all male Moslems are permitted to fulfill their carnal desires with any slave-girls whom they possess. If I recruit exclusively males from the South of Thailand as house staff ("My cock is Moslem" as a go-go boy once remarked, "and you too!") am I able to enjoy them unrestrained?

I'm wondering if any of our Moslem contributors

"Moslem contributors"? You better lay off the gin...you're losing it.

[bedbugy1-old]

hic hic

hic hicOh dear, another fuckwit for the {Ignore} list

completely sloshed most of the time. Think he is seeing little pink Muslims all over the place. He would be so lucky.

He's just gone for a stiff one.

I'm assuming this is one of the Colonel's little jokes, which means that quite a few people don't seem to share his quirky sense of humor.