Happy Christmas or is that halloweenie?

Pious Christians celebrate Xmas because it marks the birth of their supposed saviour others do it because everyone else is doing it and shop keepers just love the amounts spent on presents given to one another at this time, so everyone promotes it. The number of true practising Christians is quite small seen globally, and much of the shopping binge has little to do with тАШChrist-MassтАЩ, which is a religious ceremony promoting the sect of the baby Jesus. But who cares what they believe as long as the rest of us are having some fun and making money.
Usually a nice big meal with extras like pudding and tra la la cakes and stuff are swallowed all washed down with copious amounts of bubbly, this is when I abandon my secularist no faith policy and leap in head first. Everyone gets warm and fuzzy and drunk and stands all over their presents and wrapping paper, until they realise its Cartier and real diamonds and emeralds, then they have a weeping fit of booze related regret. Christians are not the only ones celebrating and weeping during this period mind, others are doing it too.

Apart from Christians, there are other faiths at this time of the year with their festivities: Hindus have just had their Diwali with lights and fireworks, Jews their Hanukah with whatever, Muslims have had an Eid and Americans have had a thanksgiving. For all the rest happy holidays and enjoy a few days off.

Chanukkah (2006) starts at sunset, 15 Dec and ends at nightfall, 23 December. There's a gift on each day (8), traditionally, gold, chocolate, dreidels, gold-foil-covered chocolate coins and gold-foil-covered chocolate dreidels. Today, anything goes gift-wise and many times the gifts are just for show, except for the chocolate stuff, are returned (NOT exchanged) ASAP after the neighbors have seen them.
The Polish celebrate on the 6th of January...shop them after-xmas sales! Do not believe those jokes.

... is the huge Santa displayed some years ago outside a Japanese department store. They knew about Santa Claus and Christiamty and crucifixes and came to a logical conclusion. Yep, Santa was on a crucifix. I recall a bar boy some years ago (the mem'sahib of his day) telling me that the name of the Christian Buddha was, yep, Santa Claus. A relative's wife (one of those ghastly Evangelicals but this time one focussed on American family values as well - doubly cursed) was telling me over Christmas lunch one year that Santa Claus had been in church that morning for the kiddies. I nearly threw up

Santa Claus had been in church that morning for the kiddies.
Ho-ho-ho, little boy! Com'er and sit on my face!"

Holy Angels Church has all the Arch Angels painted behind the alter.
One Christmas eve the well eggnoged congregation started singing Hark, the Harald Angels Sing. The kid in front of me turned to his mother and loudly asked, "Which one's Harold?"
His mother raised her palm and hissed sweetly, "Shadap, Billy!.... And stop swinging your god...blessed...rosery!"
A couple minutes later, as he resumed lassoing with his beads, I heard him say, "Hang on Jesus; here we go again!"
As the choir boys started down the aisle, dressed in red satin and white lace, a plastered closet-queen entered from the side door, staggered past the creech, winked at the plaster baby and said, "Smile, bitch, it's yer' birthday!" and to the choir, "Love yer drag!"
As the end of the service the priest said, "Go, and peace be with you."
Billy shouted, "Peace on you too father!"
Mama lowered the boom.

Santa Darts the Devil in the Ass.
I think you might get a kick out of this (Christmas) movie review:
http://www.geocities.com/sideorderofnin ... santa.html (http://www.geocities.com/sideorderofninjas/reviews/santa.html)
If I only saw it in print: didn't know it was a real movie review; I'd think a demented denizen of sawatdee wrote it.
(I wonder if Blockbuster has a copy....)

Wacky dutch gay Santa...Yo ho little kids yo ho!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6psq2NmVLM