bucknaway
November 19th, 2006, 05:51
After landing in Bangkok and walking around I came to notice that there were a lot of women, holding babies and expecting charitable donations from the passers-by. It somehow it seemed to lack the feeling of truth. These women were out there every day. I even seen one woman get up, hand the baby to a different woman who took her place to beg. During my time there I did not give any of the begging-baby-mamaтАЩs a single satang.
I did give money to some of the people I felt were in genuine need, or what I felt was a true need. One night after DJ station, I went to the McDonalds on Silom Road. I sat at the window as I ate. I noticed a woman and child sleeping on cardboard just outside the big window. She had an arm over the sleeping child who seem to be having a restless sleep. He seem to be ready to push his mother away with his feet at any moment.
I decided that once I finished eating I would give a few hundred baht for the child and mother. As I was debating on how much to give, a Farang woman left the restaurant and went to the mother and child and gave them some money. She had to wake the mother to do it. Once seeing that I decided I would save my money for a different charity case.
I looked at them again and notice a suspicious young character hovering about them. He would look at them for a bit, turn his head and look around and then back at them in a manner that told me he was thinking of doing somethingтАж Maybe even steal the money just given to them.
I finished my meal and walked outside and headed straight to him. He backed up a little as I approached him but once I stuck out my hand, he stuck out his hand as if waiting for a handout. I did not give him any money but I did shake his hand and say hi. I donтАЩt remember what his response was so I have to guess it was nothing memorable.
The guy was in true need. I looked him over in the quick way that gay men can look at another guy and sum him up in an instant. I noticed his hair was not neat but you can tell he made an effort with it. His clothes were not fresh or clean but not filthy or repulsive and he did not smell. His hands were dirty as were his fingernails. The sneakers were old and worn and his pants were too long and the hems were becoming ragged. His face showed stress and I could not help but notice that if he were cleaned-up, he would be one handsome guy.
While shaking his hand I asked him if he was hungry. He shook his head yes and repeated the word тАЬhungry.тАЭ I told him I will buy him something to eat. тАЬWhere?тАЭ he asked me and I told him anyplace. He pointed at McDonalds and I was a bit surprised thinking he would prefer Thai food. I smiled, told him he can eat here if he wants to, walked to the door and held it open for him. We got to the counter and under the bright light, I could not help but again think how handsome a guy he must be. His skin was a smooth brown, He features were masculine and his hair was thick and with a bit of a curl. I would have helped him even if he were not a looker but this guy was very good looking.
He looked at me as if waiting for something to happen. I pointed to the menu on the counter and told him to order anything. He pointed to a value item and the clerk seemed to wait for my ok. Once I was sure he was getting the full meal with drink and fries, I paid for his meal. I again shook his hand and gave him a couple hundred baht in his hand.
He looked at me and I could only describe the look as the embodiment of WOW, THANKS! AND GOD BLESS YOU! And as he looked at me I noticed tears rolling down his cheeks, then came the lip quiver and BOOM! He began to cry! I have shown acts of charity to many people during my time on earth but I have never felt a more genuine life effecting moment than the one I was experiencing at that moment.
I looked at the clerk and she seem to be confused by what just happened and I did not know what to do at this point. I placed my hand on his shoulder, gave him a warm smile and told him to have a good night and I walked away.
I had hoped to see him again but I did not see him anymore during my weeks in Thailand. That single event changed me. It was my plan to drop a few baht, give myself a warm fuzzy feeling and go on about my holiday. It didnтАЩt happen that way. I am still haunted by that encounter.
Some may joke that he was crying because I was cheap with my money or because he was being forced to eat at McDonalds and all that but for me it was one of those moments in life that stay with you. That single event changed me. I canтАЩt explain it to you, but I can say that I put a lot more thought into my acts of kindness. When I think of helping anyone, I see that guys face, the tears, the trembling lipsтАж the cryingтАж..
(On the old board, a poster use to post about what he would do to help some of the guys in the gogo business. I enjoyed his posts because he told a very good story and it gave me some insight about the plight of people I took for granted. His posts also helped to understand what a tip could do. Because of his posts, I would often tip guys who I felt would not get any tips or get very few tips. Another poster attacked him and he stopped the posts that I once found so enjoyable and informative.)
I did give money to some of the people I felt were in genuine need, or what I felt was a true need. One night after DJ station, I went to the McDonalds on Silom Road. I sat at the window as I ate. I noticed a woman and child sleeping on cardboard just outside the big window. She had an arm over the sleeping child who seem to be having a restless sleep. He seem to be ready to push his mother away with his feet at any moment.
I decided that once I finished eating I would give a few hundred baht for the child and mother. As I was debating on how much to give, a Farang woman left the restaurant and went to the mother and child and gave them some money. She had to wake the mother to do it. Once seeing that I decided I would save my money for a different charity case.
I looked at them again and notice a suspicious young character hovering about them. He would look at them for a bit, turn his head and look around and then back at them in a manner that told me he was thinking of doing somethingтАж Maybe even steal the money just given to them.
I finished my meal and walked outside and headed straight to him. He backed up a little as I approached him but once I stuck out my hand, he stuck out his hand as if waiting for a handout. I did not give him any money but I did shake his hand and say hi. I donтАЩt remember what his response was so I have to guess it was nothing memorable.
The guy was in true need. I looked him over in the quick way that gay men can look at another guy and sum him up in an instant. I noticed his hair was not neat but you can tell he made an effort with it. His clothes were not fresh or clean but not filthy or repulsive and he did not smell. His hands were dirty as were his fingernails. The sneakers were old and worn and his pants were too long and the hems were becoming ragged. His face showed stress and I could not help but notice that if he were cleaned-up, he would be one handsome guy.
While shaking his hand I asked him if he was hungry. He shook his head yes and repeated the word тАЬhungry.тАЭ I told him I will buy him something to eat. тАЬWhere?тАЭ he asked me and I told him anyplace. He pointed at McDonalds and I was a bit surprised thinking he would prefer Thai food. I smiled, told him he can eat here if he wants to, walked to the door and held it open for him. We got to the counter and under the bright light, I could not help but again think how handsome a guy he must be. His skin was a smooth brown, He features were masculine and his hair was thick and with a bit of a curl. I would have helped him even if he were not a looker but this guy was very good looking.
He looked at me as if waiting for something to happen. I pointed to the menu on the counter and told him to order anything. He pointed to a value item and the clerk seemed to wait for my ok. Once I was sure he was getting the full meal with drink and fries, I paid for his meal. I again shook his hand and gave him a couple hundred baht in his hand.
He looked at me and I could only describe the look as the embodiment of WOW, THANKS! AND GOD BLESS YOU! And as he looked at me I noticed tears rolling down his cheeks, then came the lip quiver and BOOM! He began to cry! I have shown acts of charity to many people during my time on earth but I have never felt a more genuine life effecting moment than the one I was experiencing at that moment.
I looked at the clerk and she seem to be confused by what just happened and I did not know what to do at this point. I placed my hand on his shoulder, gave him a warm smile and told him to have a good night and I walked away.
I had hoped to see him again but I did not see him anymore during my weeks in Thailand. That single event changed me. It was my plan to drop a few baht, give myself a warm fuzzy feeling and go on about my holiday. It didnтАЩt happen that way. I am still haunted by that encounter.
Some may joke that he was crying because I was cheap with my money or because he was being forced to eat at McDonalds and all that but for me it was one of those moments in life that stay with you. That single event changed me. I canтАЩt explain it to you, but I can say that I put a lot more thought into my acts of kindness. When I think of helping anyone, I see that guys face, the tears, the trembling lipsтАж the cryingтАж..
(On the old board, a poster use to post about what he would do to help some of the guys in the gogo business. I enjoyed his posts because he told a very good story and it gave me some insight about the plight of people I took for granted. His posts also helped to understand what a tip could do. Because of his posts, I would often tip guys who I felt would not get any tips or get very few tips. Another poster attacked him and he stopped the posts that I once found so enjoyable and informative.)