Who Pays?? Does it matter?

[bucknaway]

When I was in Pattaya, I met a nice guy who took me to dinners, Temples, drinks and to bars. He was quick to pay and refused any attempt I made to pay.

Now I am in Bangkok and guys are paying my way into bars and buying me drinks and meals....

I did not ask them why they are doing this and I guess I should have... So I will ask you guys. Why are they doing this?

The guy in Pattaya is employed, has a nice car. The guys in Bangkok who have been doing this for me.... One guy said he works in a gogo. Another guy is a Sauna worker and I am not sure where the other guys work.

I don't think I look poor.......

I am asking this now because after having my way paid into DJ a few times, last night (Halloween Night) I met some guys and we were all going to Soi 6, I got in a cab with one Thai guy, he paid the cab and my way into the bar, gave me a kiss on the cheek and a grope and told me to have fun....

Your friends want the honor of paying for you, to show that they are financially sound, and that they are not interested in taking advantage of you. So enjoy! You should, of course, make an effort to pay every now and then.

[Aunty]

Your friends want the honor of paying for you, to show that they are financially sound, and that they are not interested in taking advantage of you. So enjoy! You should, of course, make an effort to pay every now and then.

OK, I just can't help it. Pay with what; money or meat?


(Way to go Bucky! The Thais' have obviously taken a shine to you. Enjoy it while you can. You'll be back home soon enough!)

PS. Oh by the way, can I grope you too if I pay for dinner? Or would you rather be desert? :cheers:

[PeterUK]

So I will ask you guys. Why are they doing this?


I don't think I look poor.......



They are doing it because they find you sexy and wonderful, which is clearly the answer you were angling for. Good luck to you, but try not to be so narcissistic.

[bucknaway]

Thanks guys for the input. I was not fishing for compliments. I was wondering if this was another cultural thing I was experiencing. I am still on shaky ground on the whole status thing and was wondering if this was in some way related...

[Monty-old]

When you get to my age You Will Pay For Everything.
So Enjoy & have a good time.while you can.
It will not last for ever, Old father Thai Time knows all.
But do be careful And TAKE CARE.

[allieb]

I think they want to pay to separate themselves from the usual money grabbing Thais. Also to show us that there are some who are not just after our ATM card

I have had this happen a few times to me. I think you should feel honored. Never forget that most Thais who have what is considered a good job in Thailand, earn nothing like what we do.

When Thais have bought a drink for me I accept with honer but I also make sure that they get back a lot more than they gave me during the course of the night.

[bao-bao]

I think they want to pay to separate themselves from the usual money grabbing Thais.

allieb, I'm going to figure you were speaking of the small faction of moneyboy-type locals and not "the usual" meaning younger Thai males in general. I'd say even the more hardened of the "bad seeds" are often nothing more than the product of a system begun by westerners seeking to play with their bodies, if not minds. If you'll forgive the Halloween reference on the day after, it's really Dr. Frankenstein's fault that the monster wreaked so much havoc.

THAT said, it's been my experience as a GWM over 50 that the friends I meet up with in LOS are a generous bunch overall, and pay for meals and expenses on a level that is equal to my paying, based on an ability to pay, period. You can read all over the web that our position in society, income level and status ALL play a part in the "who pays" debate.

This trip just ended I spent time with three old friends and three new ones. The doctor and dentist paid their fair share of tabs, the others a little less, but even the lowest paid of them still insisted on paying for things that wouldn't hobble him financially, and I graciously accepted.

I suggest we have to consider the circumstances on a case by case basis, and not assume about any individual Thai.

Just my two satangs' worth again.

[allieb]

Bao Bao

I do indeed mean the money boys farang often end up with and certainly don't mean young Thais as a whole. Although the kind of places Bucknaway visits on his vacation will have a majority of money boys and its a surprising to find ones who want to pay their way.

Concerning creating the monster. I don't think farang created these money boys, they were always there. I believe that there was a lively sex for sale market Thai to Asian before farang came along. Farang simply found it. liked the scene and and became majority customers.

hmmm.. In 3 years with my EX. he never ONCE offered to pay for anything LOL (other than a bottle of green tea from the 7-11 LOL)

Hey Bucknaway. When you open your eyes and look around Bangkok, Silom, 2, 4, anywhere, just imagine that all you see are a bunch of Thai boys out having a good time with their friends and you can get along with them on an equal basis; and you will and you'll have a great http://www.sawatdee-gay-thailand.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_colors.gif time. They are all generally genuinely intererested in foreigners, including yourself. In my experience Thais are more comfortable with foreigners than most other asians are. Age really doesn't make much difference either, not like in the west. Enjoy ur vacations here, hope u decide to stay eventually.

I did not ask them why they are doing this and I guess I should have... So I will ask you guys. Why are they doing this?


Being a middle class asian men here is my opinion:

It's likely that you are a good looking man and your asian friends are trying to impress you. Trying to impress someone you feel attractive is an interracial custom. Although it is common in many asian circles for one person to pick up the check when a group of friends go out together - however like most people we do not like to be taken advantage of and expect the other members of the group to reciprocate from time to time. It is considered crude by some for everyone to whip out their calculators and try to figure out down to the last penny who owes what at the dinner table. If this is done fairly and everyone takes their turn picking up the check from time to time, NOT only makes life simpler and easier, but everyone feels like the host on occassion.

So my advice is for you to INSIST on picking up the check from time to time.

Augie

Are you sure these are locals and not Japanese or HongKong tourists? It's ancestor worship holls, long weekend time now, you might have seen quite a few at the Babylon eg. They don't seem to be hanging around you from what you say, just sharing taxis etc. It could be face saving exercises.

[TrongpaiExpat]

Although the kind of places Bucknaway visits on his vacation will have a majority of money boys and its a surprising to find ones who want to pay their way.

Babylon and DJ Station? Money boys are far from the majority at these places. Every now and then some of the go go boys do visit these places on their days off and will have sex with you but it's on their terms, their choice and an exchange of money is not in the deal. Maybe if you leave together, dinner and drinks and maybe you pick up the tab if you want. Often the younger lower status one will make some attempt to offer to share the bill and with the expectation that your Will waive it off, other times he will insist, just go with the flow.


Some of these "money boys" have money. Some I know live off very generous stipends from very rich farangs. Some I know even off boys and pay.

Most of the money boys I know off girls rather than other boys.

But I DO want to make sure that my advice includes taking all usual PRECAUTIONS that I take EVERYWHERE.

Take minimum you need or are willing to lose in cash/creditcards in wallet whereever you go.

Lock valuables or put out of sight in your hotel room or apartment BEFORE you go out.

Don't let yourself get too inebriated.

[bao-bao]

I do indeed mean the money boys farang often end up with and certainly don't mean young Thais as a whole.

That's what I figured, allieb, sorry for the knee-jerk posting to your original comment. :blackeye:

I think maipenrai had it right on the nose... insist on paying sometimes if things seem out of balance to you. I've never had offense taken when I've done that, especially if I sense gallantry is exceeding their budgets.

Investing for the future?