Trouble brewin' - guaranteed

[PeterUK]

With a dramatic little flash and exploding sound my kettle announced its retirement from active service today. I muttered a few expletives and went to check the guarantee card - still comfortably within the warranty period. Off I went to Home Pro in central Pattaya where I had bought it, the merest suspicion in the back of my mind that this might not be a simple matter to sort out. At the repair desk everything went smoothly for about five minutes - forms were filled in, reassuring looks given. Then the first brow furrowed and I was told that because Home Pro was only the dealer I would have to go elsewhere for the repair. My argument that I thought I was already at a desk labelled 'repairs' was met with a counterargument so convoluted that I have already forgotten it. I was given directions, even a little hand-drawn map, to the requisite repair shop off Third Road. After half an hour of searching high and low with an increasingly frustrated motorcycle taxidriver, I returned to the Home Pro repair desk a little angrier than when I had left. 'Yes, hard to find,' chuckled the same young guy who had drawn me the map. He advised me to try Numchai electrical instead. Well, for goodness sake, everyone knows where that is, up by Index on Sukhumwit Road, why hadn't he told me that in the first place? He gave me an apologetic look. 'So this time there will definitely be no problem?' I said with just a hint of menace. He nodded enthusiastically.

At Numchai's service department I was told that my brand of kettle was not one they could fix, Home Pro was always doing this kind of thing to them. Sportingly they agreed to diagnose the fault for me. A short wait and then I got the bad news - a shorting heating element, the kettle equivalent of a coronary thrombosis. It would cost over 1000 baht to replace the element; if I took it back to Home Pro they should be able to send it to Bangkok under the guarantee and I might get it back in a couple of months. Then again, suggested the helpful Numchai assistant, noting my look of horror, I could always buy a new one at Numchai instead. I confess this option had crossed my mind - the alternative of possibly killing someone at the Home Pro repair desk would be emotionally gratifying but in all likelihood fraught with future complications. So I did as advised and am now the proud owner of a spanking new kettle. Naturally, it comes complete with guarantee.

[Smiles]

:blackeye: :blackeye: :blackeye:

Greetings Peter,

As an unreconstructed masochist I find myself quite looking forward to winding myself around the convolutions of day-to-day Thai life ("The REAL Thailand"???? That elusive bitch). I know, I know . . . it get's "tired" real quick!

Tell me Peter, in your experience does the same dynamic regarding, er, 'interesting' guarantees, also hold true for gogo boy "offs"? If so, is there a Pattaya 'OFF' OFFice?

Cheers ... and happy boilin'

[wowpow]

Well yes there does seem to be some warranty when you 'off' a guy. I took one guy, I knew, from Boyz Boyz Boyz and we went with friends to eat at White night. He said he had already eaten so I ordered a drink for him. When I went to the loo he got a tiny amount to eat not realizing that it was a buffet and I had to pay the full, albeit modest, amount for his tiny mouthful.

Then we went back to the hotel and he declared that he was very tired and wanted to go to sleep. I told him he had to go home if he had to sleep so he did and without a tip. I went back to Boyz x 3 and told Mamasan and he gave me back off fee back!!

When a Thai has to sleep he HAS to sleep.

Who says money can buy sex ?.

Well yes there does seem to be some warranty when you 'off' a guy. I took one guy, I knew, from Boyz Boyz Boyz and we went with friend to eat at White night. He said he had already eaten so I ordered a drink for him. When I went to the loo he got a tiny amount to eat not realising that it was a buffet and I had to pay the full, albeit modest, amount for his tuny mouthful.

Then we went back to the hotel and he declared that he was very tired and wanted to go to sleep. I told him he had to go home if he had to sleep so he did and without a tip. I went back to Boyz x 3 and told Mamasan and he gave me that off fee back!!

eaten already - translates to been offed already today lol?

[PeterUK]

his tuny mouthful.



So was it a tuna salad he was sampling then, or are you thinking more along the lines of 'if music be the food of love...'? Anyway, I once tried that boy warranty thing. I had offed a boy from Cockpit (this was some time ago!) and he appeared to suffer a complete physical and nervous breakdown upon arrival at my room. Genuinely concerned, I sent him home with a few kind words. When I went back to Cockpit to get my refund the following evening, I found that the bar had closed. I had offed the boy on its very last night. I have a strong feeling that the boy had known something I didn't.

Might it have had something to do with your housekeeping skills?

[PeterUK]

Might it have had something to do with your housekeeping skills?

Nah, but I do have chronic halitosis and fart like a camel in musth.