How difficult is it to date long term seriously in Bangkok?

[supcasrem2]

I'm moving from the UK to Bangkok next spring for a year, I'm 30, looking to date around my age or older.

Just wondering how open Thai guys are to dating and not just sex?

If so, what apps are best for dating?

[cdnmatt]

Depends on you. Are you an asshole, or a good hearted guy? Do you understand Thai culture? Do you know the language at all?

Humans are humans, so of course Thai gay guys are open to long term dating / marriage / whatever. I lived with a Thai guy for 4.5 years before in Khon Kaen (north east Thailand). All humans want love, so that's no worries.

[latintopxxx]

u make no mention of the Thai guy...are they all kind hearted genuyine guys...or do some like to take their partners onto walks on high balconies...or convince their foreign partners with their undyoing love to invest in property in the Thai partners name...etcetera...ad nauseum

[pong]

Canucky matt has it rough but as such is right.
Forget apps, thats for short time partners for some fun, try real meets.
Start to learn -also read- Thai now right away. IF any of those modern time thingies will work for you, it will be the only in Thai ones.
Latin always, always overcharges it and likes to play the naughty boy. But in essence the warning is right: in Thai-farang relations it will be expected of the whitey to cough up in most cases-be lucky in that for str8 this will even be much more the case. Really equal relations are said to not exist at all in Thailand here-or this may be some western disillusion. If you happen to have scored some ´teach the phaasaa angkrit=/en/ language or the like job-do not expect to be able to live a rich person´s life on that.
For some amusing reading and long time struggles in how to cope with live in TH and with Thaiguys-on a minimal outlay: christianpfc.blospot.com

[cdnmatt]

in Thai-farang relations it will be expected of the whitey to cough up in most cases-be lucky in that for str8 this will even be much more the case. Really equal relations are said to not exist at all in Thailand here-or this may be some western disillusion.

Depends on how you view it. Yes, if you're a white dude from the West, then you're going to be expected to be the bread winner. Wages and social mobility aren't exactly the greatest in places like Thailand, Laos and Cambodia.

However, by no means does that mean they're just taking advantage of you and taking the piss. They take care of you, just as much as you take care of them. That is if you treat them properly, and find a good one.

Only real recommendations I can give in this regard are spend some time to learn the language. I can recommend starting here:
https://www.amazon.ca/Thai-Beginners-Benjawan-Poomsan-Becker/dp/1887521003?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&psc=1&smid=A3DWYIK6Y9EEQB

There's also intermediate and advanced books, but even once you've gotten through the advanced book you're still not going to know Thai all that well and will still have quite a bit of learning to do. One of those things you just need to live there for a good while to learn and pick up. I lived there for 8 years, and I'm still far from fluent, although I can get around in Thai just fine.

Learning some Thai won't only help you get in good with the cute guys there, it's also going to help you not get scammed. If you hop into a tuk-tuk and start chatting up the driver in Thai, they're going to be far less inclined to try to get some extra baht out of you.

Other recommendation I can give is leave your pre-conceptions of what a relationship is at the door. If you have some magical dream in your mind about this beautiful, romantic, loving, and committed gay relationship with this gorgeous Thai guy, then yeah... that's just not going to happen. Not saying it's not worth it, because it totally is, but it's just going to work out totally different than what you have in your mind, that's all. It's a culture thing.

Oh, and don't be a controlling asshole, as you might find yourself being one of those infamous flying farangs. Your Thai BF might decide to test your flying ability by throwing you off the 22nd floor of a building, haha. It happens.

[Dodger]

Just wondering how open Thai guys are to dating and not just sex?

Thai boys who are "working" (bars or apps) don't care if you have sex with them or not as long as it doesn't effect their tip at the end of the night.

Non-working Thai boys enjoy dating just as much as guys in the West (with or without sex). If you're more interested in this type of arrangement try to meet boys well-away from the working scenes. If your using the apps I would suggest only contacting boys who list "looking for friends" in their profile, and leave out information about their penis size or sexual preferences. At least then you have a chance of meeting someone genuine who would enjoy dating you.

Now that I think about it, I can't think of even one single time in the past 20 years that I dated a Thai boy and didn't end up having sex with him that night - regardless of how the "date" was framed when we got together. But take what I just said with a grain of salt because my behavior in Thailand from day-one has been utterly disgusting...LOL

[bkkguy]

I would always suggest a consultation with Dear Uncle Go - his advice may be getting a bit long in the tooth but there are always some valuable pointers!

[latintopxxx]

Having met a few mixed couples its the foreigner (usually white, but on the odd occasion chinese or arab) that plays the role of sugar daddy, the Thai is always younger/cuter, sugar daddy pays, everyone is happy and smiling and professing ever enduring true love...as long as sugar daddy has cash...really simple really. During one long vicioius gossip session at Babylon an older american depressed me with his tales of woe, of the fortune he lost when he met his true love (30 years age gap) and they bought a villa on the outskirts of Bangkok in the Thai cuties name, new furniture and appliances.....only for various Thai family members to slowly shift in, he ended up in the smallest back room and when he strenuously objected was physically kicked out of the villa...it wasnt his anymore and no Thai lawyer would even listen. He was still living in Thailand but making do with less and styiull hoping to regain control of his villa.....

[cdnmatt]

Latin, that's simply not true in all cases. Here's a story for you...

Sept 15th, 2016, I woke up to realize my left eye had also went (right eye went a few weeks before that). My Aussie friend and his BF picked myself and Leo up and took us to the emergency room at the local international hospital. I remember the day clearly, because it was the first day I was fully blind in both eyes.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to go blind? Leo stuck by my side through the whole thing, and I'm sure is the reason I'm such a confident blind man today.

I'll never forget that period. The private hospital room was nice, and even had a sofa which Leo slept on that first night. The next morning he had to go back to Laos though, because his VISA was expiring that day, so he had no choice.

That night one of the nurses came in and explained to me that they're transferring me to the ICU, because they couldn't allow a newly blind person to stay alone during the night. I decided fuck that idea, I'm going to go back home to be with my dogs, and discharged myself. They had no choice but to let me go, so called my Aussie friend to pick me up. His BF dropped Leo a message on Line to let him know what's up.

I get back home, and about 3am that night I hear my gate opening. I freak out because I'm brand new to being blind, and have no idea who it is. Turns out it was Leo. Instead of staying in his village for a week to take care of his parents like was the plan, he did a u-turn at the border upon hearing that I discharged myself, in order to take care of me.

He stuck by my side like none other while I figured out this whole blind thing. Even during the times we were poor, he stayed with me. We're still good friends to this day and talk regularly.

You may want to take a look in the mirror and reflect on how you treat people you meet before you make such judgementss against them.

[latintopxxx]

oh yeah right...ALL Thai cuities hook up with fat old farangs old enough to be their grandfathers out of love and/or sexual attraction...and the cash has nothing to do with it.....and please define POOR???? In Canada poor probably means you havent got a washing machine or cable TV...in Thailand poor equals living on the streets being nibbled on by rats and cockroaches while you sleep.

[cdnmatt]

Well, as stated above if you're the white dude from the West and in a long-term relationship with a cute Thai guy, you're going to be expected to be the bread winner. Wouldn't exactly expect them to start pitching in for rent or the grocery bill any time.

However, that hardly means they're all money grubbing lowlifes as you imply. It's not like they incessently bitch and moan for you to buy them a car or build them a house or anything remotely like that. From my experience, many of them are totally happy to live a modest life in a rented house, eat standard market food, et al.
n

[latintopxxx]

i have no personal experience with that so can only assume that for a change u r not over exagerating the kind caring qualities of the average thai cutie...I guess having a stable safe home with all the necessities of life like food and booze is l;ike hitting the jackpot forn the average poor Thai

[pong]

There are seemingly not that many such very poor Thai lads anymore anyway. All these old-time sob stories of ´mama die, pah only drink, have to sell buffalo´ also seem to have faded away, or at least i hardly ever hear them and I always try to set up some interesting conversation and speak enough of Thai for that. But thats mostly msg-guys as I shun those go2x bars in overpriced Silom. Many are simply students (I check that, know enough of mahavitalayai), from far way, who also have to do some work on the side and to whom this looked better as serving in restrt or some odd hrs in a 7. Some are indeed also a bit on the lookout for more steady relation, but who can blame them for that. Plus that its also a time-honored very long time custom for Thai student girls to try to stick to a sugarcane-daddy type sponsor-the guys just imitate. LIke about 99,99% of this gay bisnis model is simply imitation of the str8 world.
As I still kept the romeo account alife through the yrs without much using it, I noted that as its now set to BKK again there seem to be quite a few on the lookout-or at least they state that- for longer time relation. Thats for back to the question.

[pong]

I would always suggest a consultation with Dear Uncle Go - his advice may be getting a bit long in the tooth but there are always some valuable pointers!

Oh dear-OMG. Does this khun lung still exist? How long ago was that? Thai Rath or some other nangsue phim (news ppr?) Well-at least one has to know reading Thai to get the message..........
Somehow now that I see this I kind of remember there was also some older ladyboy/katoey offering all sorts of mostly quite funny advice, but with also a gain of seriousness in it?

[christianpfc]

Once you have eliminated the fakers and the moneyboys, there are some decent boys I met who are looking for a relationship. It is rather I who is not looking for a relationship.

[Armando]

Having met a few mixed couples its the foreigner (usually white, but on the odd occasion chinese or arab) that plays the role of sugar daddy, the Thai is always younger/cuter, sugar daddy pays, everyone is happy and smiling and professing ever enduring true love...as long as sugar daddy has cash...really simple really.
That's the stereotype from one whose activities are purely for sex. But it's simply not true in some cases. I know of three couples where the Thais have university degrees and business ventures which give them a greater income than the farang. Keep an open mind. And don't rule out the apps but be very selective. Remember, too, that Thailand remains difficult for many younger Thai business professionals. It they work for a company, the vast majority will not want their colleagues to know they are gay. That can lead to discrimination including lack of promotion possibilities. It's one reason you will not find more than a few Thai professionals in the western gay venues. They will go to the mixed gay/straight bars and clubs around Soi Thoonglor which have gay sections.

[Artemis]

I think Tinder would get you better chance to find Thai guys who interested in dating and not just sex.
The biggest issue would be language barrier, but I have a friend who is dating a Thai guy who speaks 0 English and they're getting along just fine.
You can start from making new friends with local guys. Go to regular bars (not the one with boys who work there only for money)
One thing I learn from getting new friends from gay bar in Bangkok is that all the local gay circles are connected.

[latintopxxx]

tinder????????

[pong]

One thing I learn from getting new friends from gay bar in Bangkok is that all the local gay circles are connected.
Yes-right They will even gladly pass you on if they feel some other friend fits you better! Both happy- Thai friendliness