Smiles
August 26th, 2006, 06:35
This month it became less than one year before I hit official retirement. The actual date of my Big Move to Thailand is not set in stone yet, but suffice to say it will not be earlier than Sept 1/'07 nor later than sometime in November/'07. The latter date is added as I certainly will have some important things to wrap up here, as well as a side trip of a week or so in Paris and another of the same general time span in Adelaide Australia to visit some of the very few relatives which still seem to be hanging around alive-and-kicking on Glenelg Beach or in the shadows of Ayres Rock.
Hua Hin city and it's beach's & environ awaits me and my love/tirak Suphot, and it is him I wish to celebrate a little here today. I usually post an annual love letter to him on the Board, but seem to have neglected that recently. Much of the distracting crap which has gone down on these Boards in the last year has been partially my own fault (for being unable to let it go ... it became too too personal) and I have neglected the real reason why I care about Thailand so much ~ and as a kind of interim substitute, why I enjoy the banter on these Boards so much. It's really all about him.
Sometimes I think many of the members on this Board are speaking of Men from Mars rather than Thai men ... so much do the cliches and generalizations about them get bandied about ~ sometimes quite thoughtlessly. But cliches often have elements of truth to them, or at least they start off that way, but there is a point where cliches should be recognized as such, and abandoned as useless, or at the very least, unhelpful.
I would like to say about my guy that he is as far from the generalizations as I can imagine, and I can thank my lucky stars for that. A relatively uneducated farm guy from the dusty back roads of Surin, he can hold a conversation (in English) which incorporates touches of a profound and intuitive understanding of the human heart (Thai hearts and farang hearts) and a deep street-wise psychology which invariably leaves me with very little counter argument.
Unlike the presumption of over-arching materialism and a skin-the-punters game-playing dialectic which many experienced farang butterflies apply to all Thai guys (and let it be acknowledged that that is often the case in Pattaya/Silom/Patong GoGo bar scenarios), I'd like to introduce to you a Thai man (now 39 years old this month) who has been completely honest ~ (though in one instance rather late I will admit :blackeye: ) ~ in a relationship now in it's seventh very happy year.
His "job", as he sees it, is to "take care" of me: even though my protestations that I can take care of myself can sometimes be loud. His "job", as he sees it, is searching for ways in which to "make Dawit happy": even though I complain (quietly) that him loving me is good enough.
I asked him once if he thought that after living together for long term we would inevitably start to "fight" more often, or become angered at the small things in relationships that us westerners seem to fall into: he said he found it very difficult to even contemplate getting angry with me. He leaves the hot heart ('jai rawn') up to me! He prefers the happy heart ('sabai jai') and is quite bemused at my natural moodiness: I once got frustrated with his lack of interest in sex one slow evening, and got quite angry and told him I just wish ~ goddamnit! ~ he'd throw me on the bed and rip my clothes off and bla bla bla bla. His immediate response was to initiate a spontaneous and very loud laughing fit . . . so infectious that all I could do was join him! Better than sex, this was :clown:
Not once in seven years has he pointed to some item in some shop window that he would wish me to buy for him.
Not once has he mentioned his socks have holes in them (I noticed a few pairs in such a predicament and we went off to Central for a sock and underwear spree ... but it was my suggestion).
I could go on and on about this gentle and uncomplaining kind of acceptance-of-one's-lot which Suphot maintains as his steady companion. He is not without envy, but it incorporates none of the mean-spirited jealousy which is so often the case, and is quite proud of his abilities as a relatively successful farmer in a very dry and arid corner of Thailand.
But enough is enough. You may well get the picture that not only do I love Mr Suphot but I admire him as well. And I feel lucky to have met him ... and even luckier that we are still together after all these years, and that we will very soon ~ now less than a year to be precise ~ be attempting a good old-fashioned middle class existence together.
Kuhn Suphot striking some poses (employing 3 different variations of the Thai Smile):
Sitting on a railing on a small dock on the River Kwai, just upstream from Kanchataburi
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Thailand_2005/rimkwai8.jpg
In a window framed by a lovely red flowering tree at the King's Palace (C. 1915 or thereabouts) just outside Hua Hin.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Thailand_2005/huahin1.jpg
At a Buddha festival in his village in Surin. That's Supot's brother Tuantong in the sunglasses.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Thailand_2005/Family/villagelife3.jpg
Cheers ...
Hua Hin city and it's beach's & environ awaits me and my love/tirak Suphot, and it is him I wish to celebrate a little here today. I usually post an annual love letter to him on the Board, but seem to have neglected that recently. Much of the distracting crap which has gone down on these Boards in the last year has been partially my own fault (for being unable to let it go ... it became too too personal) and I have neglected the real reason why I care about Thailand so much ~ and as a kind of interim substitute, why I enjoy the banter on these Boards so much. It's really all about him.
Sometimes I think many of the members on this Board are speaking of Men from Mars rather than Thai men ... so much do the cliches and generalizations about them get bandied about ~ sometimes quite thoughtlessly. But cliches often have elements of truth to them, or at least they start off that way, but there is a point where cliches should be recognized as such, and abandoned as useless, or at the very least, unhelpful.
I would like to say about my guy that he is as far from the generalizations as I can imagine, and I can thank my lucky stars for that. A relatively uneducated farm guy from the dusty back roads of Surin, he can hold a conversation (in English) which incorporates touches of a profound and intuitive understanding of the human heart (Thai hearts and farang hearts) and a deep street-wise psychology which invariably leaves me with very little counter argument.
Unlike the presumption of over-arching materialism and a skin-the-punters game-playing dialectic which many experienced farang butterflies apply to all Thai guys (and let it be acknowledged that that is often the case in Pattaya/Silom/Patong GoGo bar scenarios), I'd like to introduce to you a Thai man (now 39 years old this month) who has been completely honest ~ (though in one instance rather late I will admit :blackeye: ) ~ in a relationship now in it's seventh very happy year.
His "job", as he sees it, is to "take care" of me: even though my protestations that I can take care of myself can sometimes be loud. His "job", as he sees it, is searching for ways in which to "make Dawit happy": even though I complain (quietly) that him loving me is good enough.
I asked him once if he thought that after living together for long term we would inevitably start to "fight" more often, or become angered at the small things in relationships that us westerners seem to fall into: he said he found it very difficult to even contemplate getting angry with me. He leaves the hot heart ('jai rawn') up to me! He prefers the happy heart ('sabai jai') and is quite bemused at my natural moodiness: I once got frustrated with his lack of interest in sex one slow evening, and got quite angry and told him I just wish ~ goddamnit! ~ he'd throw me on the bed and rip my clothes off and bla bla bla bla. His immediate response was to initiate a spontaneous and very loud laughing fit . . . so infectious that all I could do was join him! Better than sex, this was :clown:
Not once in seven years has he pointed to some item in some shop window that he would wish me to buy for him.
Not once has he mentioned his socks have holes in them (I noticed a few pairs in such a predicament and we went off to Central for a sock and underwear spree ... but it was my suggestion).
I could go on and on about this gentle and uncomplaining kind of acceptance-of-one's-lot which Suphot maintains as his steady companion. He is not without envy, but it incorporates none of the mean-spirited jealousy which is so often the case, and is quite proud of his abilities as a relatively successful farmer in a very dry and arid corner of Thailand.
But enough is enough. You may well get the picture that not only do I love Mr Suphot but I admire him as well. And I feel lucky to have met him ... and even luckier that we are still together after all these years, and that we will very soon ~ now less than a year to be precise ~ be attempting a good old-fashioned middle class existence together.
Kuhn Suphot striking some poses (employing 3 different variations of the Thai Smile):
Sitting on a railing on a small dock on the River Kwai, just upstream from Kanchataburi
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Thailand_2005/rimkwai8.jpg
In a window framed by a lovely red flowering tree at the King's Palace (C. 1915 or thereabouts) just outside Hua Hin.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Thailand_2005/huahin1.jpg
At a Buddha festival in his village in Surin. That's Supot's brother Tuantong in the sunglasses.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v18/sawatdeephotos/Thailand_2005/Family/villagelife3.jpg
Cheers ...