Latest news on my HIV+ boyfriend

Since the forced breather has allowed me to calm down I've decided to update the situation with my HIV+ boyfriend.

The last time I posted about him I was more optimistic than I had been for a long time that he would be able, eventually, to work again and support himself. He was living in his home village but local prejudice forced him to move. The Police had to be called to remove one woman who continually stood outside his house and shouted abuse. Even his relatives made him feel an outsider. He visited an aunt and found separate crockery with his name on for him to use and they wouldn't eat in the same room as him. He's a gentle, kind and caring guy who just can't understand why people are so unkind to him.

Anyway a couple of months ago he moved into a new apartment on the other side of Ratchaburi and started a training course at a local college.

His health is not good, not only due to the HIV but also due to separate heart and stomach problems. I was very worried whether he would have the stamina to cope with the course and look after himself (he lives alone).

At first everything went well and he was enjoying his course which is when I was so optimistic about his future at last.

Unfortunately last week he developed a high fever, acute diarrhoea and was bringing up blood. He refused to go to a local doctor as he didn't want anyone in the area to know his HIV status. He goes once a month to hospital in Bangkok and tried to get an appointment but couldn't and it soon became apparent that he was too ill to travel. He treated himself from the local 7/11 shop and managed to suppress the symptoms enough to get to a doctor just outside the immediate area.

He's now been diagnosed with meningitis (a continuing problem right from the start) and pneumonia. Hopefully he'll be transferred to Bangkok on Monday.

I've visited twice this year and can't be there to see him him which breaks my heart. I'm next scheduled to be in Thailand for Christmas and I can only hope he'll pull through again as he has so many times.

People are probably fed up with me paying tribute to him but he remains the bravest person I've ever met who deals with each situation with a simple shrug of his shoulders and a matter of fact "no problem".

I tell him how proud I am of him and try to do what I can from a distance. In all the eight years I've known him he's never let me down, never disappointed me and has always been more concerned for my well being rather than his own.

I admire both of you. Must be very tough coping with this.

I will be there early october- if you can think of anything i could take for him or do please let me know.

[bao-bao]

This sounds a bit odd, but I enjoy the updates, Jon. I'm saddened that both of you are suffering because of this - obviously he much more dramatically than you are, but I can empathize with your wanting to be there and being unable to be. Don't worry about posting about it here... it's both a worthwhile reminder of the goodness in many people in LOS and a reminder to BE SAFE. Your headers are enough of a "heads up" about your topic. If people don't want to read the posts, that's their choice.

As to why your friend has separate dishes and other such nonsense, I would say that's most likely the ignorance of the uneducated, and that's true in LOS as well as the UK, the US, etc. Education is the key to this modern day plague, and the sad thing is there is rarely money put up to fund that education even when you CAN get it past the f**king religious right, fundamentalists and other brainless space-takers who won't allow people to learn how to avoid infection.

I hope your friend makes it to Christmas, also. He seems determined, and that counts for a LOT with "hopeless" diagnoses such as this. I wish you both the best, and will think of you both the next time I'm lighting candles and incense there.

[marc11864-old]

Sorry your bf isn't feeling well and that he's not had the support that he should from the people that he is closest too. hate to say it but when i was first diagnosed last year, i even had an HIV care management person tell me that i should wash my utensils with bleach. Mind you, this was in Charlotte, NC! WTF???

Anyway, i am very happy to see that he does have you there in his life. even small amounts can make all the difference.

Hang in there, and I'll say a prayer tonight for him.

Hugs

Marc

Hang in there, and I'll say a prayer tonight for him.


Why wait until tonite? No time like the present

God's Blessings on both of you Kun Jon

As always Jon it's good to hear your b/f is still hanging on in there. There is, sadly a lot of misunderstanding about HIV even among the educated.
Good luck and do keep us posted.

[allieb]

Very sad news my prayers and thoughts are with you. I know you said you have been twice this year already but by hook or by crook is there any way you could go now even for a few days. It sounds like he needs you.

Thanks for the replies and the kind comments. I'm in a position to update the situation as I've just spoken to my boyfriend.

He made it to Bangkok and has now seen his regular doctor at the hospital. The medicine from the local doctor improved his symptoms before he travelled and the fever has gone. It's not clear at the moment whether it's the meningitis that has caused the problems but he does have a dreadful headache which has always been a sign of it in the past. He's on a new medicine but will have to wait for the results of bloods tests tomorrow to know more. The doctor is worried that he might have picked up a new bacterial infection of some sort.

Typically he's checked himself out the hospital and is staying in a cheap hotel nearby and returns to see the doctor tomorrow.

The stomach problems are the result of a gastric ulcer and this has been a continuing problem for a long time. He shouldn't eat any spicy food which for a Thai isn't easy. The only farang food he likes, or will eat, is chicken soup so he's living on that at the moment and bland Thai food ie. rice.

I wish I could use his name rather than just "Boyfriend" or even post his photo but I can't risk him being identified so he will have to remain anonymous I'm afraid.