Meeting Couples in Chiang Mai

Hi,
Westerner and Thai here. Been together 13 years, and in Chiang Mai for 6.
Problem is, we left all our "couples" friends back in Bangkok when we moved, and have found it difficult to make friends with other couples here.

Hey, not looking for THAT kind of friendship - get your mind out of the gutter!

Just looking for other couples to have a drink with, share joys and tribulations of life in CM and being a cross-culture couple, or just BSing.

Any suggestions?

[Bob]

Never thought about that idea although sounds like a good one. If the two of you have been in CM for 6 years and you haven't made acquaintenances yet with other couples, my first impression would be that it must be pretty difficult to do (or, possibly, you two don't get out much!).

Obviously, you need to meet the other couple(s) first and I suppose the best place to do that is where other couples hang out (wherever the heck that place might be!). I'd suggest you stop by Soho bar and explain your dilemma to the owner as I'm sure he'd have some good suggestions.

Most of us temporary visitors don't have that much time, concentrating on enjoying the vacation with whatever friend we may have at the moment. I usually am in Chiangmai 2-3 times a year for 2-3 weeks at a time and have spent all of my time with the same friend I've known for 5 years. We've met a few couples in the area and usually hook up for an event or dinner once or twice a year; yet, it's fair to say we simply do our own thing, take a side trip or two, and don't look to find other couples to meet.

I've read that the Chiangmai expats club has really grown although I don't know if gay couples are attending. I"ve thought that I would like to participate with the club (or at least give it a look-see) once I start spending 3-6 months in year in CM. Maybe you ought to attend a meeting and see what's up with the expats club.

[TrongpaiExpat]

we left all our "couples" friends back in Bangkok when we moved

I'm still in BKK, can I have a few of your couple friends? All my Farang friends are butterflies and it makes the BF a little nervous.

Nice to have a CM resident posting. We seem to be loosing residents.
There was one Nong Khai resident posing but it seems the crazies chased him off.

Why did you move out of BKK?

[catawampuscat]

Farangs who drag around their Thai bfs,when they go out with groups of other farangs just don't get it..It is very boring,even if
the boy can follow the language and usually the food is also torture for the boy..The other farangs usually ignore the Thai boy and he usually
is miserable and must harbor negative feelings towards the farang who forces hem to stay together at all times..

If a farang can find another farang or two with Thai bfs , then it all works, that is if the boys like each other..
Even in the West, couples have a tough time as usually one half of one couple doesn't like one half of the other and it is very tricky to make it
work for all four people..Good friends are tough to find in the best of situations but good couple friends are a real feat and no wonder our friend
in Chaing Mai is having a difficult time.. choke dee krup...

[TrongpaiExpat]

The cat is correct, on this one.

It goes the other way too. My BF has this friend that rotates 3 or 4 Farangs on various extended holidays. They are all Euros and when the BF and I go out to dinner with them, the Thai boys chat up and storm and me and the other farang just stair at each other. I am thinking all the time, what a miserable peice of shit you are and he must be thinking the same about me, but I know something he does not. Your cute little BF has a few other farangs in the closet that you do not know about.

For every dinner I put the BF through with one of my farang friends, I figure it's worth it to let him invite some of his friends out with us at least two times.

Yes, I understand the "making couples click" thing.
One advantage of having been together so long is that I'm fluent in Thai and my partner is fluent in English. We've spent plenty of time overseas as well as here.
So, I can pitch in with his friends and he can pitch in with mine, but, of course, singles have a different interest in "going out" than we do. Though an evening looking at Spiderman at the New My Way is entertaining, it's not much for conversation!
But, we know it can work. To give an example, a friend of my partner (a Thai) got married in Israel recently (to another man, silly), and they came for a two+ week visit. We had a great time doing Ankhang, Luang Prabang, Spiderman, dinners, and just "hanging out".
So, I think it's possible, but most likely the trouble we're having is the cultural one you mention - the "couples" we meet tend to be rather more "tentative" than "committed".
Or maybe we're just too old and settled (my partner would tell me to speak for myself! 555)
I guess I could call him my "husband", as he could me, since we were married in the States a couple of years ago (that and $1.50 will get you on a bus there...)

[catawampuscat]

This forum covers Pattaya and BKK extensively and Phuket and Chiang Mai only rarely, especially Chiang Mai..
It would be great if this forum had a few more active posters from Chiang Mai would could advise us and update what is happening
with the hotels, restaurants, bars etc.

I have often wondered how extensive the gay expat community is in Chiang Mai, as we hear so rarely about the scene there,
from those who reside in Chiang Mai..My impression from one trip a few years ago, was that the Brits composed most of the
English speaking community and they seemed more elderly and less sex obsessed than the ones in Pattaya.. Anyone will some thoughts
about living in Chiang Mai versus living in BKK or Pattaya?? :cat:

Living in Chiang Mai is definitely a slower life than BKK or Pattaya. Haven't lived in Pattaya, but lived in BKK for more than 5 sooty years.
Biggest adjustment was not looking at my watch anytime I wanted to go anywhere to see whether traffic allowed!

My impression is that there are a lot more "settled" folks here, both Gay and straight bi-national couples. Lots of networks of church groups for the breeders - the missionary crowd is thick here historically - but not much social life for the Gay crowd.

The Gay bars tend to be "show" bars or "off" bars, with the exception of Soho across from Central Kad Suan Gaew. Even so, the sidewalks pretty much roll up here between midnight and one.

The expats I know are really diverse - East and West European, English (the English aren't REALLY European yet, are they?), a spattering of North and South Americans. I don't really see any leaning toward one group or another - it's just that the elderly English gents are more generally out pubbing! Best way to see a cross-section is to go shopping at Tops supermarket at Kad Suan Gaew - everyone ends up there eventually.

But, if you're not looking for daily strip shows or clubbing into the wee hours, Chiang Mai is a great place to live. Traffic is tolerable, people are generally friendly, the food is good, and you get get just about anything you crave from overseas. Not much "roughing it" here anymore! Prices are going up, of course, especially in the nicer areas.

An area especially worth checking out is the area around the Amari Rincome Hotel, at the end of the Super Highway on the way to Doi Suthep Temple. This is the "Niman" area, and it's become chock full of great pubs, coffee places, sandwich shops, boutiques, etc. Not Gay, but quite "mixed". Lots of CMU students, so the crowd is a bit "high so" as they say here.

Beautiful countryside, if you are into that sort of thing. Mae Hong Son not far away, Doi Inthanon, even only a couple of hours to Chiang Rai (the Golden Triangle and $5 visa runs to Burma).

If you come to CM, you have to come and stay a bit and just settle in. Don't come here for booze and sex, come here for coffee and romance. Maybe that should be the new slogan instead of "Rose of the North"?