That first time

[Oliver2]

Continuing my efforts to provide one non-Covid thread, I offer the following.

Here's an easy one. How many of us recall our first sexual experience in Thailand? mine was in August of 1995 and took place in Cockpit Bar, the site of which was later taken over by Throb.

After a journey of more than twenty hours, including four frustrating hours from Dom Muang on pre-motorway roads, I checked in at the Royal Garden and clutching my Thai Scene, forced my way along a packed Second Road to Boyztown.

Thai Scene claimed that Cockpit was "the most popular bar in Pattaya" and that's where I started my Pattaya explorations. I wasn't disappointed. There were fifty or so twinks on stage, dancing (yes, that really dates me) and I quickly picked out four or so possible companions. .

My choice was sweet-faced and smiling.

Much too shy to take him to Royal Garden, I asked for a short-time room and we were taken up a narrow staircase (it must have been next door to Le Bistro). I won't bore you with the details of what happened- I realise nobody on this forum would be interested, would they? - except to say that my companion failed to manage an erection, apologising most profusely, claiming that it was because he had had sex yesterday. Tyro I may have been but I didn't fall for that one.

I didn't care, so enchanted was I with this cute guy and with my first experience on Pattaya. I was new to gay sex; indeed my only previous experiences had been in the brothels of Amsterdam where the guys were experienced and professional, something my guy wasn't. I accepted that I couldn't have been much good at it myself and so manfully shouldered responsibility.

Everyone will be relieved to learn that this state of affairs changed very quickly.

I was exhausted after my long journey and the nervous excitement of my first night. Outside Moonlight, just along Second Road, I vomited, due to a combination of nerves and that smell from the sewer that many will remember.

The next morning was grey and humid. My first view of Pattaya Bay was from the third floor of the hotel. I didn't think much of it, comparing it to the white sands and the Caribbean blue sea of Grande Anse in Grenada where I'd been a couple of weeks earlier.

But then it hit me; so what? I'm in Pattaya. Tonight I shall be back in Boyztown and there were a dozen other bars and heaven knows how many willing young men to discover.

it was possibly the happiest moment of my life. But even better ones were to come.

[Brad the Impala]

My first time sex in Thailand must have been about 1970, I was a very young man. I was staying at the Suriwong Hotel in Patpong, Bangkok having been advised that that was the place to stay for “that sort of thing”. I had been in Thailand six months earlier, travelling with a friend. I had enjoyed myself so much without sex that I had determined to return on my own and to make sure that this time I also enjoyed “that sort of thing”.

I had the name and address of “The Lonely Boy Bar”(Silom Soi Four) which had been recommended to me and sounded like fun. However on the first night I was waylaid by a tout on the short walk from the hotel. Having ascertained that I liked “boys” he took me to a house where two young men were chosen, not by me, to have sex in a small room while I perched on a chair beside the bed. While the experience was weird and interesting, the situation was so utterly contrary to my previous sexual experiences, or life, that I wasn’t really stimulated by it.

Nevertheless rather drained by that and after a subsequent and abortive attempt to find “The Lonely Boy Bar” I decided to call it a night, and determined to find it on the following evening. To which ends I did a daytime recce to be certain I knew how to find it.

Entering it that evening I found myself in a rather dark space lit only, it seemed, by black light reflected off some rather garish wall paintings. It wasn’t a big space(one shophouse) but having entered through a door then black drapes, my hands were gently held on either side while my eyes adjusted! At the end of the room there was a small and also dimly lit bar, but it was the brightest thing in the room.

I was guided to a stool, rather high as I recall even for a six footer, where I ordered a beer while I got used to my surroundings. Looming out of the shadows or sitting on stools further down the bar were seven or eight young men, all neatly dressed in short sleeved white shirts with red bow ties. They were all looking at me and smiling. I was the only customer.

Then from behind the bar someone stood up and to my surprise it was a middle-aged westerner. He introduced himself and was clearly American. He explained the situation with the guys and the off fee(100 Baht I think), and introduced me to some of them, who were very eager to meet.

I bought drinks for several people and somehow narrowed the selection down to two of the guys. Unsure which to take I asked Howard, the American, for a recommendation, and he just sighed, shrugged, and said “take both”, so I did!

Back at the Suriwong we all stripped of and showered and had sex. The guys had no interest in each other, so it was all focussed on me or me on each of them. It was fantastic.

They left in the morning, and I said that I would come and see them again that night, but Subin came back in the afternoon unplanned. He had brought me a present. We ended up spending that night together just the two of us, and after a week or so we rented a small wooden house in Pratunam, Bangkok, and lived together for most of the next few years. The second guy from the bar also lived together with us much of the time, as company for Subin, but we never had sex with him again, which feels a bit weird writing that now(he wasn’t bad at sex when we had the threesome!) but Subin and I were just so focussed on each other.

You know what the old hands say to new visitors, “Don’t fall in love with the first guy you have sex with” well it doesn’t always turn out as badly as they say!

[latintopxxx]

...my 1st time was in the showers in a public swimming pool...will not mentionn my age...but i was simply a support sysytem for a penis that refused to rest...had no idea what to do with it...but older more experienced hands guided me and before long I knew what to do and was the belle of the ball/showers...if only i had been clever enoigh to charge for my services...would have retired long before my 21st

[Brad the Impala]

Seem to be a surprising number of virgins on this forum, although perhaps it was so long ago that it's hard to remember "The first time in Thailand"!

[Oliver2]

It may be that not many of us have sex....rather reassuring for me in that I'm still managing it twenty-six years after my arrival!

[Daveuk]

My first sexual experience resulted originally from a chance conversation with a stranger in a gay Manchester pub 22 years ago. I was there with a good friend, Tom, with whom I had spent several holidays in gay favoured European resorts such as Benidorm and where we had been several times and Plata del Ingles on the Spanish island of Gran Canaria. We started talking about going there again when the stranger butted in by saying “ that the best place for gay sex is definitely Thailand”. I asked him whereabouts in Thailand and the reply was “Pattaya” adding graphic detail of what was available and also with some useful travel information (this was a little before the internet had taken off). We decided to act on his recommendation and 2 months later found ourselves at Don Muang airport getting into a taxi rather tired from the long flight vis London.

The road trip seemed to take for ever on the non motorway roads but eventually at about 2 am we came into Pattaya with the driver asking “hotel” ?. We had no idea where to stay and asked him to find us a hotel - which he did with one near the girlie bar area of Soi7/8. On being shown to our rooms the Porter said “want lady”. Having engaged our tired brains we answered in the negative. We decided just to take a bit of air and wandered around the area ending up in a small empty bar on Second Road where we obtained welcome coffees. An older lady seemed interested to hear we had only just arrived and were soon to go back to the hotel to sleep. She enquired “not found lady” ? To which I informed her that we were gay. She then immediately informed us that we should stay near Boystown which was 2k up the road.

That was the sort of information we needed to have so next day about mid day we took a baht bus on Beach Road not realising that you need to press the buzzer to stop it. Locating BT we were impressed by seeing the gay bars and gogos there and in the surrounding sois. Our immediate task was to get a more suitable hotel and that was accomplished by booking rooms at the Ambience, where we had breakfast. Going back to our hotel for our bags we immediately returned and trundled them into BT to the Ambiance, passing a massage establishment which had just opened. Having checked in I announced to Tom I was going for a massage. He declined saying hat he wanted to relax a little and explore.

In the cubicle lying on the bed I was extremely excited, erect and mega horny particularly when the boy agreed to get naked. I won’t go into subsequent detail as you will know the routine, but the theraputive part did not last long, and afterwards, having agreed his tip requirement I had great sex cumulating in one of my best anal cums I have ever had.

Tom followed me a hour or so later with an equally satisfactory result. That day was the start of 2 weeks of gay sex and fun to be followed for me by a lot more visits to Pattaya and Thailand with many great experiences and only several not so good ones.

[snotface]

My first trip to Thailand was in late-1988, when its gay scene was just starting to attract large numbers of foreign visitors. I arrived in Bangkok clutching on to my hefty Spartacus Guide for dear life and my head buzzing with a long list of cultural dos and don'ts. On that note, I recall getting a very surprised look from an elderly monk that I waied deferentially as we passed each other in the street. The scowl and low mutterings that I received from a female vendor at a roadside stall when trying to get a few baht knocked off the price of an already cheap snack taught me that perhaps you weren't meant to haggle ALL the time. Any time I was seated in public I would be terrified of what my feet were up to - were they accidentally delivering some mortal insult to a Thai by pointing at him?

As you can imagine from the above, I was about as relaxed as a drainpipe on my first visit to a gay bar. It was Apollo, a small bar at the end of Silom Soi 4, where Sphinx now is. I got there very early in the evening, about 7.30, when the few boys inside were just sitting about in their shorts and singlets. I believe there was usually naked dancing on stage later but I had left well before that. Almost immediately a canny boy had homed in on this obvious first-timer and introduced himself with solemn formality. 'My name is Ong,' he said. He had quite good English and was clearly bright - not particularly good-looking but such was my relief at having accomplished the amazing feat of getting into conversation with one of these exotic boys that I quickly succumbed when he asked to be taken off.

By 8 o'clock we were walking out of the bar and along the soi, where surprised friends of Ong made jocular comments and he responded with the proud look of one who has snared an early victim, I mean customer. Back at the hotel we watched TV, chatted some more, did the business. He stayed the night and woke me up as it was getting light by pressing his little rump against me in the bed. He had to do this several times while I lay there debating with myself whether I could afford to pay out a few hundred more baht on my tight budget. I finally decided it was permissible.

I didn't take him off again. My trip was only for ten days - too many other places and boys to check out. I spent three days in Pattaya, taking with me a boy who wore a permanent traumatised-refugee look during our stay. That was not a great success. Back in Bangkok for my last couple of days I was sitting in Soi 4 in the early evening, watching the world go by, when Ong approached and handed me a letter with a grave look on his face, then promptly turned and left in the direction of his bar.

There were two or three pages of it, written in surprisingly good English. Oh, what a sob-story it was! Ong was being beaten and sexually abused by the landlord of his rented room. He had to get out of there and find somewhere else to live or he might even be forced to kill himself. He needed money urgently. How did I react? Did I think, 'What an obvious scam, no doubt written by a paid specialist in such things'? Nope. I thought of our pleasant night together, my heart went all mushy and I decided to give him 2000 baht, which was most of what I had left. At his bar he received the money graciously, though with perhaps just a hint of disappointment that it wasn't more.

Back in London, sanity returned and I realised I had been duped. But it was hard to bear a grudge for long. I had told Ong how short my trip was and when I would be back from Pattaya. He was a smart cookie as I've said and knew he had to strike quickly. His psychological profiling of me was spot-on. I still admire his enterprise.

[Oliver2]

Thanks. That's a period of gay Thailand history of which I'm always happy to learn more.

I'm pleased you helped Ong; better to be an exploited good Samaritan than a passer-by on the other side of the soi with 2000bht in his wallet.

[Brad the Impala]

My first trip to Thailand was in late-1988, when its gay scene was just starting to attract large numbers of foreign visitors. I arrived in Bangkok clutching on to my hefty Spartacus Guide for dear life and my head buzzing with a long list of cultural dos and don'ts. On that note, I recall getting a very surprised look from an elderly monk that I waied deferentially as we passed each other in the street. The scowl and low mutterings that I received from a female vendor at a roadside stall when trying to get a few baht knocked off the price of an already cheap snack taught me that perhaps you weren't meant to haggle ALL the time. Any time I was seated in public I would be terrified of what my feet were up to - were they accidentally delivering some mortal insult to a Thai by pointing at him?


Thanks for this. It reminded me of my early anxieties also, based on the DO'S and DON'TS writ large in guide books.

[a447]

sanity returned and I realised I had been duped.

I think many of us have had the same experience, especially until we had a few trips under our belt and got to know the ropes.

My attitude aligns with the gogo boys; i.e. you farang are rich and we are poor. So why not give it a try? If I were in their situation I'd probably do the same.

So as far as I'm concerned, no harm done.

But it has made me appreciate those guys who do not try it on, even though they have the chance to do so. And that refers to the vast majority of guys I've met over the years in S.E. Asia.

[Oliver2]

Correct; and thinking back over my eighty or so visits, I can think of very few occasions in my my bar-hopping days when I was taken advantage of. Equally, I blush at my memory of trying to barter for a cheaper "off" on one of my early visits. The more Thai guys I met, the more trusting I became.

[Dodger]

I’ve hesitated posting on this topic, only because I’ve described “that first time” in Thailand so many times before that it plays like a broken record.

Aside from the sex during that very first encounter, is the fact that this was the precise time in my life where everything around me would be changed forever. Every single aspect of my life, including my career, my personal aspirations and lifestyle started changing the minute the boy left my room that night. And my life has never been the same since.

In brief summary, my first sexual encounter in Thailand was with a boy who worked at Thai Boys Boys Gogo in Pattayaland. I was in Thailand on a work assignment at the time and had never set foot in any of the gay areas before the night of that first encounter. What impacted me the most emotionally is that this was also the first time I had ever had sex with a male.

I spent the first 38 years of my life hiding from myself and others inside a closet with steel doors and no key. All of the sexual encounters I enjoyed with guys were confined to my dreams – which first started around the age of 12. I had a few touchy-feely encounters during my adolescence, but those were fleeting moments with no real substance, and few and far between.

I was playing in a classical rock band in Chicago, met a girl at a post-concert party, got her pregnant, married her, had two children, became a workaholic, advanced in a fast-paced career, made money, made everyone around me happy, but remained totally isolated inside myself – resigned to finding happiness only in my dreams.

My passion, for as long as I can remember, was for Asian guys. The guys in my dreams were always slim Asian pretty-boys with dreamy smiles, hairless chests, and well endowed. This was (is) my passion.

There’s an old saying that I’ve always remembered. I read somewhere that this saying was first quoted from Albert Einstein, and then read somewhere else that it was actually Francis of Assisi who first spoke these words, but in any event, these words have stayed etched in my mind forever. “If man believes in something which does not exist with enough passion, he can create it”.

Maybe that’s why my road led me to Thailand…and then to an area named Pattayland…and then up the steps of a place where all the players inside had been rehearsing in my dreams for so many years. Maybe I was there because my passion led me there.

After that first encounter I felt an overwhelming sense of freedom, which is almost impossible to put into words. I knew I had found what I was searching for.

One year after this life-changing encounter, I resigned my position with a corporation that some people spend their lives trying to work for, went to work as an independent contractor allowing myself 6 months a year to live the life that I had found, sold my home and all of my material possessions with the exception of my office equipment and trusty backpack, and launched a 20 year non-stop adventure in Thailand living the dream.

The sex was great with the boy during that first encounter, but that’s only the half of it.

[a447]

Dodger, your forbearance for all those years is admirable indeed!

Having to put on an act for 38 years is something I can't even begin to imagine. Incredible!

But you're obviously going out of your way to make up for lost time.

Good on you!

[dinagam]

The sex was great with the boy during that first encounter, but that’s only the half of it.


Dodger, was this first proper encounter a top or bottom role or both?

[Nirish guy]

Dodger, was this first proper encounter a top or bottom role or both?

Why on earth would that matter !?

[dinagam]

Why on earth would that matter !?

It matters if you're losing your anal virginity for the first time!

[Oliver2]

I was seven years older than Dodger when I first had gay sex. Whatever the average gay man feels about Pattaya, for me (and it seems Dodger too), the excitement is life-changing. It was enough to make me take early-retirement at the age of fifty-one. It's a long story....perhaps for another time.

But in this context, I recall that one of the interesting- no wonderful- things about my first three or four visits to Pattaya was to learn that I was not alone.

I was more sociable in those days and, sitting in a crowded Panorama every day before before the go go bars opened ( remember this was the 90s), I often talked with other falangs over a beer. Even today I can remember a guy whose first gay experience was after his wife died in old age (70s or 80s, I can't say exactly) . He'd repressed his sexuality all those years for her sake and shortly after her funeral, took a break; to Pattaya.

I'd notice him every day in Boyztown, where we were both staying, hand-in-hand with the same Thai guy. He'd started a new life.

There were others I met who , like us, had been denied, or had denied ourselves, the sexual activities that most take for granted. And for us, Pattaya was an adventure, a voyage of discovery, a new world....and a hundred other clichés I could use.

I shall always be deeply grateful.

[Dodger]

There were others I met who , like us, had been denied, or had denied ourselves, the sexual activities that most take for granted. And for us, Pattaya was an adventure, a voyage of discovery, a new world....and a hundred other clichés I could use.

I'll always be extremely grateful for my path leading me to Thailand as well, but sometimes wonder if the life-changing elements that you and I spoke about are unique to guys who were late in "Coming Out".

I think a visit to the gay scene in Thailand (pre-pandemic) was (and is) a mind-blowing experience for ALL gay visitors. I know several gay men who have been "Out" for most, if not all of their adult lives, who ended up leaving the gay scene (and sometimes their old boyfriends as well) in their home countries, to spend the rest of their lives frolicking with Thai boy(s) who are less than half their age and living the dream.

Amazing Thailand!

Amazing to every gay man who ever stepped foot on its soil. Taught even the oldest dogs new tricks - and altered the lives of even the most seasoned.

[Oliver2]

The issue for me ( and I suspect for Dodger too) is that my years as a straight man were dominated by a sexual interest in younger men. Except of course when I was still young, long, long ago in a distant galaxy. When I finally came out, I sought the company of twenty year-olds but they did not go to the sleazy London saunas very often. Or if they did they didn't want someone of my age.
That was what made Thailand different. And it wasn't just the commercial gay scene; I had what were, to me, genuinely astonishing encounters in the old Babylon and the House of Male . And when it came to the commercial and go go scenes, I felt more comfortable than I did in Amsterdam or London. And in Boyztown I wasn't alone.

[AdamKY]

For me, my first couple of visits to the Kingdom were life changing. Discovering the culture & personality of Asians moved me so much I sought out and partnered with an Asian within a couple of years of those visits. That was three decades ago. We have been married for the last six years - since the court decision allowing same-sex marriages in the U.S.

[vnman]

Great stories guys. It's very interesting to see the dates with the stories.

I did some hard thinking about my first time in Thailand but I cannot remember. The thing is, before I came to Thailand I was already a Nomad. I had lived in Eastern European countries and Mexico before Thailand. I must have arrived in Thailand around 2004. I remember very clearly the ride from the airport and the taxi driver asking me for an extra 100 Baht because he had to drive an extra block. "No problem," I told him, I couldn't get over the fact of how cheap that ride was.

The hotel I stayed at was near the Malasia Hotel. It was at the end of Soi Ngam Duphli, on the right side just before Rama 4. On the gay websites at that time, you could find a lot of referrals to Jimmy. Book through Jimmy and you will get a discount. I stayed there a couple of nights and had a few boys over from the soi, but I can't remember those experiences at all. It was nothing special and that goes for DJ station too, where I went a few times those first few days. I was spoiled by Mexico city with bars/clubs that opened in the afternoon and where boys would just come over to ask you for a dance or even a kiss with no money ever changing hands.

Where Thailand really got me, besides the food and a lot of other cultural aspects were the Go-go bars in Pattaya. I had no idea when I arrived there after spending some time in Bangkok. The first night in Sunnee plaza took me through many emotions. Most were positive (not all) and after visiting every gogo bar in Sunnee, I took a boy off and remember thinking that this part of life couldn't get any better. Just the fact that there were hundreds of boys within a few hundred meters and I could just pick out the cutest, no questions asked, other than the off fee.

This sentiment didn't last long though. I missed the hunt. I missed the uncertainty of what a night would bring. Standing in a bar, looking, flirting and eventually picking up someone. A gogo bar was like shooting fish in a barrel.

Ten years later, I was kicking myself for not having taken advantage of the opportunities given in (for me) those early years. Just like many of you, I have been reminiscing a lot about days passed in Thailand. I refuse to let my best experiences be in the past. They will never be the same as before, but different can be good too. It is out there, I have experienced it and in the coming years, I'm going to experience the best future memories. The world is a big place!

I know I digressed.

[Jellybean]

. . .The hotel I stayed at was near the Malaysia Hotel. It was at the end of Soi Ngam Duphli, on the right side just before Rama 4. On the gay websites at that time, you could find a lot of referrals to Jimmy. Book through Jimmy and you will get a discount . . .

That would be the Pinnacle Hotel, vnman. I stayed at the Pinnacle on many occasions when I travelled up from Hua Hin to spend a few days and nights in Bangkok. I also booked my room through Jimmy First. He was quite a character.

[a447]

vnman wrote:


I refuse to let my best experiences be in the past.

My sentiments exactly!

My parents used to always tell me to make sure tomorrow is better than today. So I prefer to look forwards, believing as you do that the best is yet to come.

Problem is, at my age I'm running out of time! Lol