Massage Pet Peeves

[Newbie99]

I went to a massage place in Jomtien yesterday, and experienced an okay massage, except:

The masseur offered a HJ halfway through the massage. That meant that after I came, I had to lie there for a long time. Once I cum, I am done. I don’t know why the HJ can’t wait.

After the HJ, the masseur wanted to be my boyfriend, and tried to kiss me repeatedly. Given that otherwise he was hacking and sniffling from a cold, I was not too excited about that.

[Manforallseasons]

I went to a massage place in Jomtien The masseur offered a HJ halfway through the massage. That meant that after I came, I had to lie there for a long time. Once I cum, I am done. I don’t know why the HJ can’t wait. After the HJ, the masseur wanted to be my boyfriend, and tried to kiss me repeatedly.

Obviously, the boy likes small cocks.

[Oliver2]

The problem is that many of these guys aren't masseurs but go-go dancers who don't dance. They will be blessed with decent hearing in their declining years. Caveat emptor; when choosing a guy it's probably advisable to be honest about exactly what you want. I saw half a dozen of very cute masseurs when I was in JC last week whom, were I to off, I'd have told to forget the massage.

[gerefan2]

. I saw half a dozen of very cute masseurs when I was in JC last week whom, were I to off, I'd have told to forget the massage.

Are you telling me that people actually go to these places for the massage?

[goji]

If I go to a massage place, I want a massage, with the extras at the end. The ones who do an early HJ are hoping the customer will leave long before the hour is up.

I tend not to return to massage places which act like that. I've had this on the last 2 visits to the one right by Mosaik. Having made the mistake of returning, which is not my normal behaviour, I don't expect to go back for over 5 years.

If I want more than a massage, I get a boy to my hotel room.

[christianpfc]

Oh yes, I do have massage peeves!

No tissue in the room. Places where you can expect a happy ending have no tissue. Usually I have a wank with the masseur (I wouldn't mind a blowjob and swallowing, but oil and condom do not go well together) so there will be cum on my or our bodies. An no tissue to wipe it off. Either I brought my own tissue, or I take the towel, which I then have to exchange for a clean one for showering.

No clothes hanger in the bathroom. I take my trousers with wallet and phone with me for showering before and after massage, and often there is nowhere to hang or put it. But I wear a belt, and I always found somewhere I can put the belt through, and then close it, so my trousers hang on the belt.

[Jellybean]

. . . I saw half a dozen of very cute masseurs when I was in JC last week whom, were I to off, I'd have told to forget the massage.

There's a good chance I've mentioned this story before, but I shall plough on regardless, as some may have forgotten my original post. I recall the then South American manager of the Prince Massage & Spa in Bangkok telling me that he had personally trained his masseurs and they were all keen to show off their newly acquired massage skills.

But when some customers wanted to get straight down to business, the masseurs were somewhat peeved about not being allowed to demonstrate how much they had learned during their training. And afterwards, they complained to their manager, but he informed his disgruntled masseurs that, as the customers were paying for the service, it was they who decided what proportion of the allotted massage time was spent on [shenanigans*]

Now, to what extent the masseurs in your local massage joint have received any training, professional or otherwise, well that’s probably a moot point.

* My euphemism.


Are you telling me that people actually go to these places for the massage?

Well yes, certainly, or at least I expect a reasonable proportion of the time, the first half usually, with an attempt at giving me a half decent massage. I’m talking mainly of Bangkok massage joints. If I'm lucky enough to find a good masseur, the nonsexual part can be very relaxing and a wonderful experience in itself. But in the majority of cases, my eye is on the main attraction in the second half of the game. ;)

Actually, that reminds me of my first massage in Bangkok. It was at the Pinnacle Hotel. It was a beautiful experience, it felt like I was flying high as a kite and I thought the feeling was similar to the ‘trips’ I experienced on the legal, psychoactive, morphine based painkillers, I was prescribed in the early 2000’s during my first two or three operations.

It was nonsexual, although at the time, I wished it wasn’t, but I was too inexperienced to know if there was any possibility of turning it into a happy ending scenario. I certainly didn't want to risk the embarrassment of being told my behaviour was inappropriate, so I behaved perfectly respectfully throughout the massage. But looking back, I'm confident that it was a simple straightforward nonsexual massage with no extras and that I didn’t misread the situation.

[dinagam]

Whenever I'm in Bangkok and with enough time to spare I never fail to visit The Prime massage in Silom for a good session with any random masseur and the result is always satisfying. Invariably I opt for a Thai massage wearing the pyjamas provided, feeling assured that there is always a layer of cloth between the masseur's hands and my modesty. This is the place to go for a healthy massage.

[poshglasgow]

I went to a massage place in Jomtien yesterday, and experienced an okay massage, except:

The masseur offered a HJ halfway through the massage. That meant that after I came, I had to lie there for a long time. Once I cum, I am done. I don’t know why the HJ can’t wait.

After the HJ, the masseur wanted to be my boyfriend, and tried to kiss me repeatedly. Given that otherwise he was hacking and sniffling from a cold, I was not too excited about that.

I'd run a mile at the first sniff and cough. Have you met his sister, Corina Virus?

[goji]

No tissues !

Some places clean up after the HJ with a towel, then you get the same towel for the shower.

[BOY69]

Entering a massage parlor and receive HJ at the beginning of the session (which you can do by yourself privately in your room for free !) is a scam, the so called masseur did almost nothing than you are obligate to pay him full price as full message with happy ending.

[Captain Swing]

I'm baffled by this concept of the forced handjob. If the boy begins one before you're ready, can you not move his hand away, smile and say "later?" You're not tied up, are you? (Although that might be fun too).

[sglad]

I'm baffled by this concept of the forced handjob. If the boy begins one before you're ready, can you not move his hand away, smile and say "later?" You're not tied up, are you? (Although that might be fun too).

Exactly. And if you're that horny, enjoy the HJ first and insist on the massage after. I remember reading a massage therapy blog where they recommended a release first as it will get you in a truly relaxed mood after (instead of wondering when, what & how it's going to happen).

[goji]

I'm baffled by this concept of the forced handjob. If the boy begins one before you're ready, can you not move his hand away, smile and say "later?" You're not tied up, are you? (Although that might be fun too).

The HJ isn't exactly forced. However, the massage part is supposed to be stress free relaxation, without having to keep batting him off until 45 minutes are up.

Actually, one of my worst massage HJ experiences was in Laos. The guy negotiated a price, took payment and then within about 30 seconds the manager shouted from downstairs to say the hour was up, so he wanted to stop. I insisted he provided the service. (Never pay up front is the lesson)

They then presented me with a massage bill based on an updated price list that had pricing 25% higher than the one outside. I took them outside, pointed to the sign and said that's what I will pay and that's what I paid.

A suitable review was left on google maps.

[Oliver2]

Where in Laos was this? Surely not Luang Prabang where my hotel bedroom door had a letter from the police attached; "only married couples". And as for Vientiane (admittedly my only other Laos estimation) I saw no sign of male massage in my travels around the city. Perhaps I missed something?

[a447]

And as for Vientiane (admittedly my only other Laos estimation) I saw no sign of male massage in my travels around the city. Perhaps I missed something?

I had a great time at Heng Heng massage opposite the Novotel hotel.

[goji]

Where in Laos was this? Surely not Luang Prabang where my hotel bedroom door had a letter from the police attached; "only married couples". And as for Vientiane (admittedly my only other Laos estimation) I saw no sign of male massage in my travels around the city. Perhaps I missed something?

The incident was in Pakse. I've also had better male massages in Vientiane, some of which were rather pleasant. However the better massage experiences were some years ago.
Also have had boys in my room in Vientiane on a recent trip.

[pong]

Exactly. And if you're that horny, enjoy the HJ first and insist on the massage after. I remember reading a massage therapy blog where they recommended a release first as it will get you in a truly relaxed mood after (instead of wondering when, what & how it's going to happen).

Come on singy, you dont know Thai logic. When the release is there (nam awk=the water is put) the job is finished. The usual rush for tissu=WC paper roll then follows asap. Then its off to the shower.
To me its one of the real signs if the guy is str8 or not-my very best from years ago impressed me as he indeed turned into the most caring and loving one just afters and did not care too muth about wiping the fluids.

[pong]

Where in Laos was this? Surely not Luang Prabang where my hotel bedroom door had a letter from the police attached; "only married couples". And as for Vientiane (admittedly my only other Laos estimation) I saw no sign of male massage in my travels around the city. Perhaps I missed something?

That sign is even Lao law. Not that it is much respected anymore. As is well known among older Europeans, communists are quite puritanical and the sights of all the Isany ladies here in TH trying to hook onto single older white males they thought was very distracting to the beliefs in red hammers and sickles. Only the burocrats, like also a certain mr Mao, are of course exempt from all that.
Just spoke to someone here who had just returned from 1 month in Laos (not gay) and he told me that in VTE and also an odd other palce there is now a thriving ladyboyscene, unheard/seen when I was last there. Plus that there are now tons of mainland Chinese-building the new railway and buying anything they think of to make money,thus destroyingall things Lao in VTE. Though have pleasant memories on a Lao guy in a BKK massageshop who was horny as hell and jumped around with his big stiff kong all the time. He then told me he thought to be in heaven in BKK in this job doing just what he liked so muth all the time. sadly he did not last very long there.

[arsenal]

Offed a boy from a massage joint last night after agreeing what he would do and what he would get paid. Full 1500 so a fair rate.

In the hotel room it's cannot do cannot do. Get dressed. You can give me 500 baht. I give you nothing...You lied to my face. Back at the joint. Full refund given. Boy then asked for 200 baht for his time. Time!...riding a motorbike. You lied to me...You get nothing.

[Manforallseasons]

In the hotel room it's cannot do cannot do. Get dressed. You can give me 500 baht. I give you nothing...You lied to my face. Back at the joint. Full refund given. Boy then asked for 200 baht for his time. Time!...riding a motorbike. You lied to me...You get nothing.

Sounds like your meals have been more satisfying than your offs!

[arsenal]

Absolutely correct. Very disappointing trip so far boy wise. First time to say that in over 10 years.

[sglad]

Sounds like your meals have been more satisfying than your offs!

Sounds like arsenal ordered a stingray and got a starfish instead.:D

[goji]

Offed a boy from a massage joint last night after agreeing what he would do and what he would get paid. Full 1500 so a fair rate.

In the hotel room it's cannot do cannot do. Get dressed. You can give me 500 baht. I give you nothing...You lied to my face. Back at the joint. Full refund given. Boy then asked for 200 baht for his time. Time!...riding a motorbike. You lied to me...You get nothing.

Well done for standing your ground. If everyone did this, people like him would have to keep promises or quit the profession. Paying him more than a day's minimum wage for doing **** all means he wins.

Following a couple of duds in Cambodia, I tend to make it clear, no ****, no tip, no ***, no tip.
I've had no total duds since, but about 5-10% decline my terms. That's OK by me.
When they say "I do everything", it's best to go through it item by item.

[latintopxxx]

....starting to sound like me...