A question for Smiles

[joe552]

Dear Smiles, this is an honest post. I love reading about your life in Hua Hin with Suphot. In many ways it's the life I would love to have myself. But alas, that will never be. You sometimes mention that there is only one gay bar there (or a bar and a half). Is that still important to you? To be in a gay bar? As I said, an honest question.

[Smiles]

" ... You sometimes mention that there is only one gay bar there (or a bar and a half). Is that still important to you? ... "

" ... life in Hua Hin with Suphot. In many ways it's the life I would love to have myself. To be in a gay bar?
Gay Stuff

When we first started living in Hua Hin (2007) there were -- to the best of my recollection --- seven, possibly eight, gay bars in town.
Two painful-to-watch 'Show Bars'(super tacky lady boys singing (kinda) and dancing (kinda), none of which I had any interest in); four host bars; and one massage joint which was obviously not interested in kneading and squeezing women ... i.e. it was named 'Gay Bar/Massage'.
Over the years they came and went, changed names, one becoming notorious (a farang bar owner was stabbed to death by his boyfriend. Needless to say the atmosphere there after 'The Incident' was rather cold).

By around 2010 the number of bars started to fly away. New bars started up, but few lasted. A couple of Russians started one up. They had money but it was to no avail ~ they tried twice!. We poked our noses in once but they had no customers, and in fact they did everything wrong: no aircon, no pool table, ghastly lighting, black sliding front door which made it impossible to see inside from the street, god awful chairs, and a staff who didn't know they were staff etc etc disastrous. Back to Vladivostok I guess.

Now in 2019 there are only two host bars left, and one is on it's knees, and has been for years.
The main joint ('New Guy Bar') is doing fairly well, and I go over there frequently ... the owner is a Thai man who is counted as a friend now, speaks excellent English, and treats his entourage well. It's a five minute walk away from our home.
But it's low season and it's cryin' time again for him, but he manages to get by, waiting for high season. Pot goes over with me if he's in the mood to play snooker.

I wouldn't use the word "important" ... it makes things too set in stone. I am glad there is a gay bar(s) in Hua Hin, but I would still keep living here without. This place is mighty comfortable for a man of 72, and Pot is now 50 and sleeps fifteen seconds after hitting the hay. I'm behind him one minute later ... he taught me that, and I've thanked him many times.
We do things together, and apart. We have small spats (and the odd large one), and fix it up quickly. When he's on the road he phones me "just to hear you voice". He brings home lunch or dinner often: the other day it was egg and cheese roti, the day before som tam (pet nit noi).
Little things ...
Both of us share an unusual psychological trait: neither of us get bored very often. The more I think of that about myself the more I get to embrace it and enjoy it. Frankly, it's a great trait to be so when one is retired.
(Tell me if I'm getting too maudlin. You asked.)


Early History

On my first trip to Thailand in 2000 I chose to spend the whole holiday at Phuket ~ beside 2 nights in Bangkok on the way back to Canada. I assumed I would be the quintessential butterfly for three weeks. But in fact, after about 5 days there I admitted to myself that I was not that at all: in fact I was the worst butterfly ... not liking the boy-by-number process.
I still had a great time there at any rate (loosing the Butterfly Stamp and happily morphed into the regular Tourist Stamp).

Back in Bangkok for the last 2 nights I became a butterfly One More Time and surprisingly met Suphot behind the hotel bar ... took him to the room ... flew away the next morning ... flew back to Thailand the next month ... and now, here we are living in Hua Hin in serious bliss for coming on 20 years.

And then we chose Hua Hin for:


The clean beach;
The size of it (i.e. small enough yet large enough).
It's overall cleanliness.
The best Thai food ever.
It's location ... fairly close to Bangkok, a day's drive to the south, a day's drive to Surin (Pot's home village), a 4-5 hour drive ~ or 2 hour catamaran ~ to Pattaya/Jomtien (where I have a few good friends who live there).
A reasonable night life, accompanied by a few gay venues.
Good possibilities for Pot to make a decent wage in a touristy laid back town. (That worked out very well. I borrowed a few Baht just last week!)

[frequent]

Now in 2019 there are only two host bars left, and one is on it's knees, and has been for years.The mind boggles :blush:

They only do head jobs?

[joe552]

Thanks Smiles, that's a great reply.

[Smiles]

The owner of 'New Guy Bar' on a bad day in Hua Hin:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0ULkUzRCSs

[Eddie]

Thanks Smiles, that's a great reply.

Yes, thanks for taking the time, Smiles.

[francois]

Gay Stuff

(Tell me if I'm getting too maudlin. You asked.)


Not in the least bit, Smiles.

[christianpfc]

It's location ... fairly close to Bangkok, a day's drive to the south, a day's drive to Surin (Pot's home village), a 4-5 hour drive ~ or 2 hour catamaran ~ to Pattaya/Jomtien (where I have a few good friends who live there).

For my lifestyle (travelling all around Thailand), Hua Hin is one of the worst possible locations. Nowhere to go for a daytrip! * To the East, there is the sea; to the West, there is Myanmar. ** Drive an hour North or South of Hua Hin, and the situation is still the same!

*Well, I spent about 15 days over the years in Hua Hin, and always found entertainment. But if I were living there permamently, and looking for new new places, it would be long boring drives just to get out of that long narrow part of Thailand between the Gulf of Siam and Myanmar.

**Nothing wrong with Myanmar (on the contrary, I love it!), but there is no border crossing open to foreigners within hundreds (?) of km from Hua Hin, and even if there was, you would need a visa.

[kjun12]

For my lifestyle (travelling all around Thailand), Hua Hin is one of the worst possible locations. Nowhere to go for a daytrip! * To the East, there is the sea; to the West, there is Myanmar. ** Drive an hour North or South of Hua Hin, and the situation is still the same!

*Well, I spent about 15 days over the years in Hua Hin, and always found entertainment. But if I were living there permamently, and looking for new new places, it would be long boring drives just to get out of that long narrow part of Thailand between the Gulf of Siam and Myanmar.

**Nothing wrong with Myanmar (on the contrary, I love it!), but there is no border crossing open to foreigners within hundreds (?) of km from Hua Hin, and even if there was, you would need a visa.

Christian you are very correct. It is an abysmal and boring place. Just the right place for smiles.

[sglad]

For my lifestyle (travelling all around Thailand), Hua Hin is one of the worst possible locations. Nowhere to go for a daytrip! * To the East, there is the sea; to the West, there is Myanmar. ** Drive an hour North or South of Hua Hin, and the situation is still the same!

*Well, I spent about 15 days over the years in Hua Hin, and always found entertainment. But if I were living there permamently, and looking for new new places, it would be long boring drives just to get out of that long narrow part of Thailand between the Gulf of Siam and Myanmar.

**Nothing wrong with Myanmar (on the contrary, I love it!), but there is no border crossing open to foreigners within hundreds (?) of km from Hua Hin, and even if there was, you would need a visa.

Sorry, I think your boredom has little to do with the location. As I understand it, you're someone in your early forties with no job and no challenges in your life. As your income and social status have remained stagnant, you seem to be stuck in that budget traveller mode - not a pleasant prospect in midlife. You've also indicated your unwillingness or inability to socialise or engage in any activity where you can make new friends and gain new experiences. Life is bound to get old quickly in your situation. No one, no place owes you an exciting life - you've got to go out there, take risks and make it yourself.

[GWMinUS]

Sorry, I think your boredom has little to do with the location. As I understand it, you're someone in your early forties with no job and no challenges in your life. As your income and social status have remained stagnant, you seem to be stuck in that budget traveller mode - not a pleasant prospect in midlife. You've also indicated your unwillingness or inability to socialise or engage in any activity where you can make new friends and gain new experiences. Life is bound to get old quickly in your situation. No one, no place owes you an exciting life - you've got to go out there, take risks and make it yourself.

WOW And sglad you seem like an equally bitter person.
I do not know Christian or you. But based on your recent post I will take Christian.

[Faranglaw]

Now girls. Be nice.

[frequent]

WOW And sglad you seem like an equally bitter person.Suttee preparation I'm afraid

[dinagam]

And who's gathering the firewood?

[sglad]

And who's gathering the firewood?

I hope it's sandalwood.

[latintopxxx]

Im sure that grindr or similar apps work in HuaHin so entertainment should be easily arranged.