July 31st, 2006, 09:37
Sundown in Sunee: Part 6 - The story concludes
"Well, it goes like this," said Georgy, chugging a can of Bundaberg and Coke in spectacular time.
Three old queens were sitting on the verandah at Cafe Royale admiring the waiters in their pink shirts and tight white shorts."Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60 year old. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you just stand there and nothing comes out."
"That's nothing," said the 70 year old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day, and nothing comes out."
"Actually," said the 80 year old, "80 is the worst age to be."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60 year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with bowel movements.?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."
"Let me get this right," the 60 year old said. "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"
"I don't get up until 7:00."
Ty, having demolished the chardonnay, staggered to his feet, stuffing his comics into a Big C shopping bag. "You really are disgusting, Georgy, I've had enough of your prurient diatribe, I'm off for some culturally appropriate entertainment," he sniffed, weaving his way to the door.
"You'd better be quick then," yelled Georgy at Ty's receding back. "The best ones would have gone from Krazy Dragon by now."
Muttly groggily lifted his head from Ronnie's dog, which he had been using as a pillow while sleeping under the table.
"Gotta go," he said," scratching his groin and farting loudly. "Some deluded prick has asked me to write an impartial review of his new club. Fat chance. Anyway, better shove off before all those parasites drink the free piss."
"I'm coming too", said Georgy."Reckon I'll put on my chicken suit and help 'em out."
Joy had long since departed, traumatised by her encounter in the toilet.
I decided it was time to go .Leaving Heddley with her memories of bygone days and 'My Way' playing on the radio, I stepped out into the night.
The neon lights reflected off the yellow jacket of the motor-bike taxi boy as he expertly negotiated the traffic in the crowded soi and glided to a halt beside me.
"Hi, Dik" I said, mesmerized as always by his come to bed eyes and dazzling smile.
"How are you?"
"Fine, thankyou, and you?"
"What would you like to do?"
"Up to you," he laughed, as I slid in behind him.
"Happy?" I asked.
"Very happy, have new buffalo."
http://upload4.postimage.org/733118/Thailand_Buffalo_Boy.jpg (http://upload4.postimage.org/733118/photo_hosting.html)
Getting caught with your pants down is bad luck. Twice starts to look like carelessness.
"Well, it goes like this," said Georgy, chugging a can of Bundaberg and Coke in spectacular time.
Three old queens were sitting on the verandah at Cafe Royale admiring the waiters in their pink shirts and tight white shorts."Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60 year old. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you just stand there and nothing comes out."
"That's nothing," said the 70 year old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day, and nothing comes out."
"Actually," said the 80 year old, "80 is the worst age to be."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60 year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with bowel movements.?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."
"Let me get this right," the 60 year old said. "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"
"I don't get up until 7:00."
Ty, having demolished the chardonnay, staggered to his feet, stuffing his comics into a Big C shopping bag. "You really are disgusting, Georgy, I've had enough of your prurient diatribe, I'm off for some culturally appropriate entertainment," he sniffed, weaving his way to the door.
"You'd better be quick then," yelled Georgy at Ty's receding back. "The best ones would have gone from Krazy Dragon by now."
Muttly groggily lifted his head from Ronnie's dog, which he had been using as a pillow while sleeping under the table.
"Gotta go," he said," scratching his groin and farting loudly. "Some deluded prick has asked me to write an impartial review of his new club. Fat chance. Anyway, better shove off before all those parasites drink the free piss."
"I'm coming too", said Georgy."Reckon I'll put on my chicken suit and help 'em out."
Joy had long since departed, traumatised by her encounter in the toilet.
I decided it was time to go .Leaving Heddley with her memories of bygone days and 'My Way' playing on the radio, I stepped out into the night.
The neon lights reflected off the yellow jacket of the motor-bike taxi boy as he expertly negotiated the traffic in the crowded soi and glided to a halt beside me.
"Hi, Dik" I said, mesmerized as always by his come to bed eyes and dazzling smile.
"How are you?"
"Fine, thankyou, and you?"
"What would you like to do?"
"Up to you," he laughed, as I slid in behind him.
"Happy?" I asked.
"Very happy, have new buffalo."
http://upload4.postimage.org/733118/Thailand_Buffalo_Boy.jpg (http://upload4.postimage.org/733118/photo_hosting.html)
Getting caught with your pants down is bad luck. Twice starts to look like carelessness.